Loneliness

The thing every human being fears the most.

People were made to be with each other. To love each other. Which is why we fear loneliness the most.

What about me?

I'm lonely but I feel nothing.

Is this what they describe as numb?

I'd rather be in pain than numb. You can at least feel something then.

I was by myself. Lying on my back in the dark. I strained my ears for any sound. Any sign of life. Anything that would tell me I'm not alone. Even if they had malicious intentions it was better than drowning in silence. I heard nothing. My paranoia made me resist to get up. I waited.

And waited

And waited, because I knew that person would come. And I was waiting for it.

It never came. I sat up. Only to feel disoriented. A was someplace different now. In a cell. More specifically a padded cell with a huge iron door. What had I done to get here. It was dark in the room. I couldn't hear anyone. But I didn't want to call out, afraid if there were guards.
Why am I here?
What am I afraid of?

Why do people suffer?

The door opened. I knew it. They'd show up eventually. Their mouth was downcast into a frown. They're eyes full of hatred, resentment, and disappointment. I turned away. Not wanting to look at their face any longer. Not wanting to relive that moment.

I sat bolt upright in bed. My pants filled the room as I stared wide eyed around the room. A sliver of moonlight shone through the pulled blinds. Everything was quiet and peaceful. Slowly my heart rate slowed down. I had kicked both my sheets and the comforter off the bed this time. My throat felt extremely dry. I got up and padded to the bathroom. I turned the light on. The bright light invaded my senses. I took a second to let my eyes adjust. Grabbing a cup that I kept on the counter I filled it with water from the tap. As I brought it up to my mouth I noticed I was shaking.
It was really that bad huh. Calm down. It's over. You'd think I'd be used to these by now.
I slowly finished my water. I turned the light off. I stumbled blindly back over to my bed where I grabbed the sheets that fell off. I laid down. I stared up at the ceiling for what felt like ages before my eyes started to feel heavy. I was grateful for the day off. Maybe then I could catch up on sleep.

Two days later we went back to school. I walked in the classroom just like every Monday. Wind blown and flushed. I walked in and was greeted by my friends. I gave them a small wave and went over to my desk.
"Do you think I should visit Broly?" My dad seemed puzzled by my question.
"What do you mean visit him?"
"Like going to see him while he's locked up and talk to him like he's a normal person."
"I think that's a great idea! I'll pull a few strings and see what I can do! You'd have to do it after your internship though. What makes you want to visit him?"
"I just- I don't want to end up like him, but I want to talk to him. Get to know him. Why he went berserk?"
"Ahh I get it. Don't worry you won't end up like him."
"But what if-What If I lose control?" A serious look came over his features. He put a hand on my shoulder.
"Look your MY son. If you were to lose control, you'd have a good reason for it. You wouldn't just give into your urges. And if you start to really get out of control, don't worry. There are more than enough people to stop you."
"Your right." He smiled at me. I gave him a small one back. He pulled me into a quick hug.
I pictured his cheeky smile and his black hair. He was more than I deserved. While I was thinking Aizawa came in and told us about the interviews.
"Your number of requests are here. I have your lists up here on the desk. Once pick your internship write it down on the first page. Got it. Those of you who didn't get requests have a list you can pick from. Get going. You have until Friday to chose." He pushed a button. Numbers came up on the board next to names. I naturally had the highest number with over 4000 requests. Todoroki has the second most. Bakugo has third most. I stood up and passed the desks til I got to the front. Finding my list I picked it up.
"Geez! Are all of those for you man!?" Kirishima said as he looked at my packet.
"I guess so."
"It's no surprise he got the most requests considering how strong he is." Midoriya said. He then proceeded to mutter under his breath. I sweat dropped and walked back to my desk. I dropped them onto my desk and sat down. Using my immense speed I read through the requests in seconds. Now I had to decide which hero agency to go to. But before that. I had to pick a hero name. Midnight came in to approve of our choices. She passed out whiteboards and markers.
Hmm. What should I pick. Definitely not Saiyaman. Should I just go with my name?
While I thought about it. Most of my classmates went. So far I liked Kirishima's the best. Red Riot. Based off of Crimson Riot. I wrote down the name I wanted and walked up. I presented the board to my class. Nobody moved. Nobody blinked. My face was blank as I stared right back.
"I-Uh-Super Saiyan?" Midnight questioned as she looked at me with her searching blue eyes.
"It's a long story, but it's really important to me, my father, and our closest family friends. A symbol of hope for us. Something we can always count on when the chips are down." I thought about all the times we were down for the count only to come back stronger.
"Ahh! How inspirational! I like it!" Midnight announced. I walked back to my desk while the rest of my classmates presented.
"King Explosion Murder." Bakugo said. His face hostile and completely serious. I burst out laughing.
"Definitely not." Midnight said.
"Hah?! Why?!" Bakugo yelled turning to her.
"It's not hero like. It literally has murder in it."
"Hey Bakugo! Yours should be explosion boy!" Kirishima called out.
"SHUT IT SHITTY HAIR!!!" We both started laughing even harder. I almost fell out of my seat. Todoroki looked at me weirdly as I attempted to catch my breath. So grumbling Bakugo went back to his seat. A little while later he came back up.
"Lord Explosion Murder." He said scowling. Even madder than before.
"That's practically the same thing." Midnight said. I laughed again. I love this kid. He's such a character.
Once everyone had decided on a hero name it was back to internships.

What is it with people and their obsession with beauty?

A persons beauty decides so much of their life. Half the time an employer will hire someone because of how pretty they are. And while I do agree with looking presentable looks should not play a part.

How's that fair. A person shouldn't be judged on looks.

We judge so much of a person based on their looks. The problem of beauty.

Why?

People stood there staring at me.
Why?
What could I have done this time?
Their formless shapes whispered to each other. Talking about something I couldn't hear.

That person came into view. But this time I couldn't block out their voice because I couldn't move my arms. It's like they were chained to the floor below me.
"You really are despicable aren't you. Walking around like that. Dressing like that. Covered in dirt." *spit* "Your a disgrace to society and to people everywhere." Their voice was hardly above a whisper but it felt like I was trying to block out a hurricane.
This isn't even something I'm afraid of but rather something I view that's wrong with society. The problem of beauty.

What an interesting concept. The people who are obsessed with beauty are shallow people and don't know the real meaning of life.

But then again who does?

What are we here for?

What is the meaning of life?

Does it have something to do with our need for happiness. How do we find eternal happiness?

What is eternal happiness?

Or is everything secular and self centered in our world?

Why do material things only fill our need for desire for such a short time?

How do we find eternal happiness?

How do we acquire it?

I heard one time that the happiest people on earth are the poorest.

I like to think I'm happy. But I know that I haven't found eternal happiness.

The questions of the heart. The deep philosophical questions every human asks. I've asked some of them already.

I wonder if they'll ever be answered. Or will they forever left he unanswered.

I woke up. I laid there. Trying to remember what had happened. Everything was a blur. I sat up. I could see the moon through my open window. It shone its silver light into my room. I sighed. I got up and went to the window. I leaned on the sill and stared up at the moon. Its light casting down onto me. I stared up at it. Memorizing the craters and lines that crossed the surface of the moon. I walked back to my bed where I feel into a light sleep once again.

It was Thursday and I still haven't picked an agency. Most of my classmates were either still going through the requests or were done.
"Still thinking man?" Kirishima asked as he walked up to my desk.
"Yeah. I don't know which hero agency to intern at. Where are you going?" I pointed at him. He pointed at himself.
"Me? I'm interning with fourthkind." He smiled as he sat down on my desk. He picked up my pile and started going through them. "You've got a lot of requests... woah! You've got some of the best heroes putting in requests." As he went through my list I thought and thought and thought. Finally I made up my mind. Grabbing the topmost sheet from his hand I wrote down the agency and the hero.
"Got one?" He asked.
"Yep!"
"Can I know?"
"Nope! You'll have to wait until after the internships."
"No fair!" He pouted as he crossed his arms. I punched him lightly and playfully on the shoulder.
"Jeez you punch hard!" He rubbed his arm lightly but was smiling at me.
God of sunshine!
Shut up!
Remember I control your story here mister.
Right my bad.
Thought so~
"Hmm. I was trying to hold back my strength." I said more to myself than to him. He gave me an astonished look but said nothing.

A.N. 1904 words! Hope you guys liked the chapter. I'm trying to add more depth to it. So a few philosophical questions might pop up once and awhile! You've been warned...

Also one of my favorite chapters