Chapter 6 - Held Back

After getting some lunch with Gundham in the hotel, the two of you found a small table and sat together. You eagerly downed your drink in fast gulps and had to stop to take rapid breaths. Gundham watched you devour your food and drain your glass in what seemed like moments. He had seen many creatures scarf down meals after rigorous training but never like this.

Wiping your mouth with your napkin and sighing with contentment, you decided it was about time to start the actual conversation.

"What happened earlier? At the beach?"

Gundham stuffed a strawberry in his mouth and reflected on what crossed his mind earlier that day. Considering he had little idea what happened himself, he knew that anything he said would sound petty. Swallowing, he decided to answer as best he could. "I felt as though another human encroached on my territory. Our pact is one that must not be taken lightly. I require daily training rituals with you! That is the only way to ensure progress is made!"

"Territory? You mean me?" you asked with a raised eyebrow.

He flinched and realized how bad that sounded. "No! You are not territory nor something to be claimed by anyone! You are merely my apprentice, and you require training to commune safely with this cursed body!"

"Merely??" you countered. You weren't actually that upset, but you enjoyed making him sweat.

Flailing for words, Gundham decided it best to simplify his words as much as possible. "I wanted to be with you! Nekomaru has nothing to offer you that I have not already given!"

"So you were jealous... Nekomaru was right."

Gundham opened his mouth to deny your claim, but he realized that anything he said would be feeble. Nothing could change your mind. Crossing his arms again and looking away from your face, the warlock decided to let you believe whatever you pleased. It wasn't like he had any better excuses.

"Okay, what kind of jealousy are we talking about here?" you asked. In your efforts to be understanding, you decided not to lecture him for his behavior. Instead, you decided it would be more productive to figure out his perspective. "Were you upset because I decided to hang out with Nekomaru? Or were you upset because you were left by yourself unexpectedly? Or were you jealous that I was hanging out with another man?"

Not wanting to admit to any of the above, Gundham continued to avert your gaze. With a sour edge in his voice, he murmured, "How nonsensical such feelings would be if any of those were true."

"Maybe this will help you clarify things. If I had been hanging out at the beach with Mahiru or Peko this morning, would you have been so angry?" you asked.

Thinking about the scenario for a moment, Gundham found himself at a swift conclusion. "No. They are inconsequential compared to Nekomaru. And besides, you have a right to have discourse with your... female companions."

You raised an eyebrow at his odd word choice. "But not male companions?"

"That would be sacrilege! For such impure beings to even breathe in your presence would be desecrating!" he huffed.

"But... you are one of my male companions. And from what I can tell, you are breathing in my presence."

He paused and considered your logic. "That may be true, but I am not as vile as these other low-living leeches who desire you. Unlike them, I have no ulterior motive! I simply wish to instill you with knowledge and power!"

You felt your patience start to wear thin from hearing him contradict himself. From the beginning, you suspected he made his pact with you as a way to get closer to you. Knowing he would only clam up if you told him your suspicions, you carefully tried to force your way closer to the truth. "Nekomaru was instilling me with knowledge and power. If anything, you two have a lot in common."

"WHAT?! How dare you compare me to that towering giant of TRASH! He is not worthy! No one is worthy!" he hissed.

"Are you worthy?" you asked calmly.

At your question, you saw the growing hysteria fade from his expression. He froze still, and you wondered if he ever asked himself this question before. As the energy faded from his face and became replaced with horrified realization, he dropped his gaze away from yours and burrowed into his scarf in shame. Hugging his arms close, he realized he was no better than Nekomaru for his violent actions. At some point during his training, his heart became tainted with vile envy. You did not deserve someone as possessive and narrow-minded as him.

"I am... not worthy."

You were taken aback by his humble response. Instead of humbleness, you had expected him to declare himself to be better than everyone else. He worked so hard on the beach to prove himself superior! All that performance and he didn't even think high enough of himself to even consider being in the same league as you.

"Wh-What? You're just as worthy as everyone else!"

"Even if that were true, I have already forfeited all of your trust in me with this... foolishness. I'm afraid I have never felt... 'jealous' in the past. I have never needed to," he confessed. Looking thoughtful, he added, "While I wasn't watching, you possessed my mind in its entirety. Not just any apprentice can destroy my mental defenses and render me weak."

You felt a blush creep onto your cheeks. There was something... different in his voice now. Something like adoration or fondness or... Affection? He looked vulnerable, and maybe even a little embarrassed. While making his confession, he fidgeted with the end of his scarf, as if he were trying to distract himself from... something. For a brief moment, though it might have been your imagination, you wondered if maybe he felt...

"There you are! Rule-breaker!!" yelled a voice from the doorway.

Whipping your gaze to the entrance of the hotel diner, you saw Usami standing and pointing her wand at Gundham. She did not seem at all pleased.

"You broke the most important rule of the school trip! No violence is allowed! Ever! You should be ashamed of yourself!" the white rabbit girl scolded in what still sounded like a sing-songy voice. "Burying Nekomaru in the sand and attacking his body with crabs... That is both cruel AND unusual! I am absolutely speechless!"

Gundham stood up from his seat and pushed the chair back under the table. Now that he understood what happened back on the beach, he knew he shouldn't get away with violent jealousy. There wasn't much Usami could do to punish him beyond taking away privileges. She couldn't take away his cabin or the Dark Devas of Destruction. Whatever punishment he got for this petty crime was bound to be just as minuscule.

"Gundham Tanaka, as punishment for what you did to Nekomaru, you are grounded! Understand?" Usami huffed with a determined expression. She looked like she was trying to topple a supervillain with how passionate she was at that moment.

"Grounded?" you asked. The term wasn't unfamiliar to you, but there were so many ways that could apply to students on this field trip. "What does that mean for Gundham?"

Like nothing happened, Usami bounced back to her happy-go-lucky self as she began to talk about her punishment. "On Jabberwock Island, a grounded student will be unable to leave the hotel area. They will be limited to their cabins, this restaurant, and the downstairs lobby. Anywhere beyond the hotel gates will be strictly prohibited! That means no exploring other islands, no travel tickets, and no item gathering. By limiting the grounded student's movement, they will have more time to reflect on their actions and interact with other students to collect Hope Fragments!"

Upon hearing Usami mention the Hope Fragments, you remembered how you crunched numbers in your room last night. If there were seventeen students on the field trip (including yourself) and six fragments to collect from each person, that meant you had a whopping 102 Hope Fragments to collect altogether to leave Jabberwock Island! Since everyone found at least one fragment with each person during introductions, that reduced the number left by 17.

If you didn't include the five Hope Fragments from yourself, that meant you still had about 80 more to go.

...And that was only what YOU needed to graduate from Jabberwock. The maximum number of Hope Fragments left to collect for everyone was 1,360.

To graduate. From this island.

"Miss Usami..., I have to ask. What if we don't get all of the fragments?" you asked with the giant numbers bubbling in your mind.

The magical rabbit chuckled to herself and bobbed her head. "No worries! There is no time limit for this assignment! Which means that you have all the time in the world to collect all the fragments. Once all of them are collected, everyone will leave this island together as the best of friends! Love, love~"

A sickening reality came crashing down on you and Gundham as you both realized the seemingly impossible task ahead. This wouldn't be a simple two-week vacation on a tropical island. Your time on Jabberwock could easily turn into years if your classmates refused to cooperate. Gundham's behavior only proved that there would be hiccups in the collection process.

"Usami, are you holding us hostage until we all become best friends?" you asked as you flipped through your E-handbook. You had two fragments with Nekomaru, three with Gundham, two with Peko, and two with Mahiru. Everyone else only had one.

Gundham was also looking at his handbook and doing some math of his own. The only person with more than one fragment in his book was you with a whopping two fragments. After all this time he spent training you as his apprentice, he quickly realized that he knew almost nothing about you. He didn't try to learn anything from you. All he ever did during training sessions was talk about himself and his rituals. All the transmutation circles, incantations, sandcastles, research... It didn't mean anything.

Something needed to be done if anyone wanted to leave this strange hell.

Later that day, you and Gundham sat together in his room trying to concoct a plan to farm fragments.

"Alright, we need a detailed guide to hangouts that result in Hope Fragments," you explained as you doodled pictures of your classmates on a notepad. "The interactions have to be meaningful and build friendship... Students have to learn something about the other person to receive a fragment. Appropriate gifts must be given to everyone."

Gundham watched you scribble criteria on your notepad, but nothing you wrote or said registered in his mind. All he could feel was a stinging sense of guilt as he reflected on your Hope Blossom in his E-handbook with two measly petals. Was he really not trying hard enough? Did you not see him as a friend as much as he thought you did? Was that why you were so eager to ditch training and exercise with Nekomaru? If any of those statements were true, he failed miserably as a mentor. He should have paid more attention...

"Hey, Gundham? Is there anything I should add to the list?"

Your voice dragged him out of his internal dialogue and derailed his train of thought. Before he could look like a disrespectful fool, he scrambled for a response. "Perhaps... One must always respond to personal questions when they are presented. Correct answers indicate active attention."

Thinking about his response, you wondered why that felt like something that would be tracked in an RPG. Aside from the bizarre twinge in your stomach at the thought of your conversations being monitored, it actually wasn't a bad idea. You jotted the idea down onto your notepad.

"Okay. With this, I should be able to improve fragment collection rates by at least three hundred percent! As the leader of the new Hope Fragment Collection Committee, I will ensure everyone escapes this island in under six months!" Pumping your fists, you congratulated yourself on the innovative idea. With someone acting as a motivator, this was surely going to proceed a lot faster than expected!

Gundham nodded in acknowledgment, but he still wasn't completely paying attention. His mind raced for ideas of ways to redeem himself in your eyes. There had to be something he could do for you that would prove he actually cared about your presence. Even if he were banished from the outside world, he knew there still had to be something he could do.

"Perhaps... In honor of your new position, you can take some time to educate me in the art of this... friendship-making," Gundham suggested with an averted gaze.

"You... You want to hang out with me? As friends and not dark arts professionals?" you asked. Seeing him look away, you couldn't help but wonder if he secretly was thinking of anything a bit beyond the realm of friendship. You had to scold yourself for jumping to conclusions.

Gundham took a breath and forced himself to look you in the eye. He rarely ever made direct eye contact with anyone, not even you. You could tell he was trying not to flinch away or show weakness. "I want to know you, (Y/N). My past actions have neglected you and your feelings. I desire to rectify my egregious mistake and win your heart back to my side!"

Hearing his proclamation made you smile from ear to ear. "I would love to know you as well. And don't worry, Gundham. I never once stopped to consider leaving your side. I don't plan to anytime soon."

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