"The darkness in you curls around your spine as if it is One with you."

The darkness, that evil—it is supposed to be gone. It was supposed to have been changed!

"No. No no no." I shook my head, took a staggered step back. His hand fell along with everything I am.

A dazzling smirk crossed his moon-kissed face, the sight was enough to make a balrog flinch.

"Oh, don't worry, love. I'll pull it forth with the force of a thousand wargs. Then it'll have no choice but to show its delightful glory for all to see." That smirk morphed into a full forged grin.

"Oh what fun this will be."

It began with that sickening smile upon his face. And the tickling tendril of his mind reaching mine. I stiffened and hurriedly slapped up stronger shields around my mind. It poked and prodded, testing out for weak spots in my wall. I prayed that he didn't find any.

Don't get in. Don't get in. Don't get i—

His dark tendril lunged forward, and I was forced back. His spear bounced off my mind and it left my head pounding.

Sauron's figure blurred as I used all my willpower into creating an indestructible fortress around my mind. I refuse to let him in my head and do the same thing Saruman did or worse.

The thought of that horrid wizard had me weak in the knees with fear.

I won't let that happen again. It can't happen again. I don't think I would survive another confrontation like that. Not again.

Sweat beaded on my nape with the new-found effort to keep him out. Warmth slid from my nose, I could taste the iron on my lips—

His mind clashed with mine like thunderclaps, sending my back several steps. His presence withdrew suddenly like the ocean right before a tsunami.

I struggled to draw enough breath.

My vision cleared in time to see Sauron step forward and grab my jaw with one hand, a wicked grin plastered across his beautiful face.

Why couldn't he be ugly?

I could feel his dreadful mind lurking just outside my shield. I could feel the presence as it fractured into a million pieces.

And became a million spears.

They slammed into my mind and tore away any protection I had hoped would save me. They buried into my mind, my brain and tore memory and nerves away with it.

A terrible scream ripped my throat raw as I fell away from Sauron's hand, my own hands coming up to grasp my skull.

Get out! Get out!! GET OUT!!

Panic and overwhelming fear bubbled up and out of me in my form of light. It blinded my sight and seared the walls, but it couldn't vanquish the evil presence burying itself in my skull. The brightness pulsed with my yells and screams. The whiteness of it completely contradicted the state of my mind.

And a dark bubble pierced my light. At its deadly center was Sauron, smiling as confident as ever. As if this was a part of his plans all along.

"GET OUT!!!!" The words scrapped their way up my throat. I felt blood vessels burst in my eyes—

His mind crawled like insects. Their tiny feet scrambling over every inch of my mind as if they were searching for something—

And then my screaming turning into pleading as I felt that thing inside me stir.

But my light chased after it and wrapped itself around it to drown out the black. The kernel of darkness did not stir. But it didn't die either.

Sauron cursed, and his surging anger rushed through him and into his mind-tendrils. Searing hot pain exploded behind my eyes.

I clawed at my face, at my scalp, in an effort to rip him out of my mind.

But it did nothing. And the pain, along with my cries, only escalated. Until I lost consciousness in a sea of agony.

Except that only lasted a second.

I awoke in the moment just before dawn with a scream. The shrill shriek echoed against the trees, sending a flood of blackbirds thundering into the sky.

"Lumornel!" The familiar voice confused me. "Thank the Valar you've awoken!" His beautiful voice filled my heart.

Legolas knelt before, his complexion back to normal and his hair neat and healthy.

My eyes swam as he took my hand in his warm one.

"Lumornel," something glinted under his chin, "are you all right?" His shirt shifted, something gold peaked through.

Legolas leaned forward and touched my shoulder, "Lumornel?"

The Ring slung free and dangled in the air.

I scrambled away from his touch.

"What happened?" I breathed out loud. "Why are you yourself?"

His brows creased in between his sky eyes. "I know not of what you talk of."

He lay the back of his hand to my forehead, "are you feeling ill?"

I jumbled to my feet, my shoes sinking into the soft mud. "No, I'm not feeling ill! Are you?"

I reached forward to check but decided against. I couldn't get the image of him cocking his head to the side like a predator out of my mind.

"Of course not. Why would I be?"

Well, for starters...

"Where are we?" I looked around at the beautiful forest around us. The trees held such an emotional depth in their branches and roots. "And where are the others?"

"In Fangorn Forest. The others are just through those trees." He pointed.

But that doesn't make any sense. We had left Fangorn a little over a week and a half ago.

I carefully worked my way over to where Legolas had pointed. I was too aware of him behind me. My hand strayed to my knife.

I allowed my arm to push a branch away and—three hobbits, a man, a dwarf, and a wizard sat around a fire laughing. Something delicious boiled over the fire in an iron pot.

"You finally decided to join the living I see." Aragorn smiled over the rabbit he skinned.

"Seems so," I replied grimly.

I weaved my way in between the scattered sleeping and cooking supplies and picked a seat next to Samwise.

"It's good to see you so bright and cheery, Ms. Lumornel," he said while stirring the pot. Bright and cheery?

"This stew could use a few nice good herbs. But I'm afraid I've run out of my supply."

Mithrandir perked up from his perch, "It'll taste just as fine without."

Wizards being nice?

"Sam, I think I saw some herbs through the trees over there." What? No, I didn't.

Sam tapped the stirring spoon on the rim of the pot and set it down in a bowl. "Would you show them to me, Ms. Lumornel?"

I nodded. "It's just this way." I guided Sam through the underbrush and pushed aside the low branches for him.

What am I doing?

We walked twenty feet.

"Where did you say they were?" Something in his voice held caution.

"Just a little farther."

I bent down next to a tree in a place I've never been or seen. "Here they are."

"These'll do just fine in the stew." He pulled at some of the leafy plants. "Mr. Frodo loves my rabbit stew—loved, I mean."

The ferocity in which he pulled at the herbs betrayed his inner turmoil.

"You miss him, don't you?" Why can't I control my speech?

My arm pulled out my hunting knife. The blade cut through the delicious smelling herbs like flesh.

Sam gave an imperceptible nod. "At least he's in peace. I'm glad he doesn't have to deal with all this Dark Lord business."

"Do you want to see him?"

Sam turned towards me, "but he's dead."

The blade of steel plunged into his belly. His body slumped against mine, his wet breathing rasping in my ear, his warm blood covering my hands. "And now you are too."

~~~

I gasped awake, the cool black floor pressed against me cheek. Dried blood had hardened under my nose and ears.

I clambered to my feet, searching for Sam. I need to get him to a healer—

It hadn't been real. Sam's death by my hand had been an illusion.

But it had felt real. I could still feel the blade reverberating off Sam's spine—

Cold dark walls reached skyward all around. Despite the fire in the corner, the room had been leached of all warmth.

"That worked incredibly to plan. I had thought you would've fought against me more." Sauron strutted to me and grabbed my face again. My warm tears leaked onto his palm.

"Fight the darkness—fight me—and that'll happen again."

He let go and I fell like a sack of bones to the ground. My hip and elbow ached as they hit the black floor.

I didn't bother trying to get up.

Sauron turned his back on me and walked away, calling out to his underlings, "Take her to her cell."

I didn't fight as two orcs grabbed me under the armpits and dragged me away.

The Dark Lords illusion kept playing again and again in my eyes.

And even though I knew I hadn't really killed him, I kept pleading.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Sam.

*********

I tightened my arms around Melnare, the West Emnet air blowing through my hair. I tried focusing on the rocking of the horse, the smell of the river we rode beside, and the rustling of the grass in the Rohanian winds.

Anything besides the memory I just relived.

*********

"A lovely girl gazing at the stars, and the stars who gazed back"
           —IF ANYONE CAN TELL ME WHAT BOOK THIS QUOTE IS FROM I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER (bec I love this series/book)

So, I kept my promise on updating Monday. From now on I'll be updating every Monday, just so you have something to look forward to on the worst day of the week 😊

Now I really should be working on an essay that's due buuuuuuut.... I'll just hurriedly right it tomorrow.

Novaer, mellyn

~awatin~