Prayers going out to all those who were/are/going to be affected by all the hurricanes down south.

(play the soundtrack now if you wish for more feelz)

***

Why do my eyelids feel like oliphants?

They're so heavy I can barely open them. I can only open them a smidgen—bright, white light burned my retinas.

On the other hand, I'll just keep them closed.

I moaned slightly at the feeling of my head being weighed down by sandbags. My throat feels like those sand bags were poured down it.

Whatever I did to cause this I don't ever want to do it agai—

This time I did open my eyes and sat up faster than a jack rabbit, hissing at the stinging pain it caused in my abdomen.

The flood—Legolas—my mark—Sam—the light—

It all came crashing down on me in a matter of seconds. 

My eyes widened and the air stung as I sucked it in. Where's Saruman? Is he dead? Is he coming for me? He's going to kill us for this. He's going to kill us. We have to get out of here.

I don't care what Legolas did yesterday, we must get out of this wretched place before he finds us.

I grit my teeth through the pain as I rise to my unsteady feet. I searched the horizon as I did, keeping a look out for a horde of horrid creatures and a tall man with yellowed robes. I don't ever want to see the blackness in his eyes ever again. I don't want to feel his fingers on me. I don't want to hear him hum or talk or breathe. I can't—I won't—

I sucked in a shuddering breathe.

Just the thought of him instilled terror in me. If-if he finds me... who knows what terrible things he'll do to me. I-I—

All of a sudden I could feel all the injuries he gave me. I could hear the humming of his voice as he worked with his knife. My collarbone ached, my thigh ached, everywhere he touched ached.

Warmth pricked at my eyes. I started shaking and I took a staggered step forward. I have to warn the others. I-I don't want to be caught by that horrid wizard again. I don't ever want to meet any kind of wizard---they-they might be like him. They might hurt me.

Crunch, scrunch, crunch.

I twisted around at the footsteps—and saw the white-robed figure approaching me. Something like worry and curiosity embraced his features.

I stopped mid-step, glanced behind him at the others sitting around. They looked as if they had been talking amongst themselves, but now they looked on at the situation unfolding. Aragorn stood, Melnare came into view from where she stood concealed in the forest, the hobbits ceased their talking, and Legolas looked on with his head cocked to the side—just like how he had looked at Sam when he—

"Who are you?" I snapped at the stranger. He looked far too old to be going on a quest of this magnitude. Actually, he looked like he belonged in a temple, speaking wise words to the few who attended and eating all the cheese and crackers his heart desires.

"Steady yourself, Lumornel-Treeshade. You are gravely injured." He took a step forward, a wrinkled hand reached out in faked-assurance. I almost tripped in taking a step back.

"Who. Are. You." My voice came out steely. The sound of it surprised me. How much had I changed while being locked away in the gloomy cells of Orthanc?

His eyes softened, "I am Gandalf the White, once known as the Grey wizard—"

I felt my eyes widen.

A whimper escaped my lips.

No—not again. I-I can't go through it again—

Why did my friends befriend him? Did they not know that Mithrandir was a close friend and colleague of Saruman? Did they not know this wizard in front of me had once looked up to the top of his order?

Or maybe they did. Maybe they had changed sides in this warring game. Maybe it's now all up to me to end this strife.

But I don't think I can do on my own.

My vision blurred as I took another step backward—and tripped on a rock. My bum hurt with the impact but the pain of my healing wound hurt even more. I felt stiches rip open.

But I ignored the warm liquid now seeping out onto my skin as I crawled away from the wizard. Little rivers made their way down my blotched cheeks. My quick breathing sounded as loud as howling wind in my ears.

My shaking arms didn't seem fast enough to get me away from the corrupt wizard.

He kept advancing and I couldn't tell if the worry in his eyes was faked or not.

If he is worried it's probably because his specimen is 'gravely injured.'

"Stop." I pleaded, finding my voice to be quiet and wavering. "get away from me."

But he didn't stop coming to me. My shaking arms gave out when he came to be only a few feet away.

Not again not again not again.

Salty tears spilled down my face as I yelled, "stop!" With every one of his steps my shaking became worse. My breathing quickened more.

How had I been reduced to hyperventilating and tears when I had enough courage to face Saruman earlier? I had overcome my fear only to crumble in the presence of another wizard. 

Could the wizard tell my heart was about to leap out of my chest?

He squatted down in front of me and reached out to look at the wound I had opened

"Don't touch me!" I shrieked. He flinched at the words, and so did the others behind me.

"Don't touch me, don't touch me," my voice cracked.

I curled in on myself.

"Don't touch me."

Memories flashed before my eyes. The sharp glint of a knife, a flash of black irises, the swish of course white hair. The rough, blood restraining leathers, calloused yet slimy fingers, cold concrete floors. The pungent smell of waste in a dark corner, moldy cheese and bread, the rotting smell of orcs. Saruman's deep humming, the shrill squeak of the dungeon door, my own screams bouncing off the walls.

Stop, stop, stop, stop!

"He's not doing anything, Lumornel—"

I could feel his bony fingers on my skin again. I could feel as he searched my head. The sting of a scalpel. The tight grip of hands that had searched—

I squeezed my eyes shut, but it didn't stop the onslaught of memories. Nor did it stop the strange feeling in my stomach or the tears that slipped past my eyelids.

I want everyone to go away.

I want someone to comfort me.

Wrapping my arms around my knees, I sobbed soundlessly.

I want this to stop. Why won't it stop?!

"Please," I whimpered to no one. "Make it stop."

I went all the way back to before all this had happened, when I had thought that being ripped away from my parents was the worst thing. I somersaulted through life until I reached that night in the tall grass with Legolas and Duvaineth.

To where Legolas had rubbed my back and whispered sweet nothings in my ear as I freaked out. I tried to imagine his soothing hand, his calming voice.

But all I could see was his predatory face as it smiled down at Sam—

(pause thy soulful music now please)

A force that of silky shadows passed through me and made me jump out of my anxious state and to my feet.

My tearstained eyes took in my confused companions, but I couldn't really see them. It was if I was looking at them through a veil of the darkest of nights. My being felt as if it was floating in a cool, weightless liquid.

What is happening to me?

I felt the soft lure and pull of the shadows like a siren's call. The melody sweet and soothing, yet eerie and cold.

I couldn't resist when the melody sang of a world renewed, made with pure clarity. Of a time when nothing was tainted with all things foul. The sirens song sounded as if it was an Ainur come down from the heavens, coaxing me towards peace.

It sang of dusty, leather bound books filled with the great tales of old, of horses and hounds, of pumping legs with howling winds upon ears. The song was of soft lights in a dark sky, of visions of vibrant colors, of heroes and heroines fighting in epic battles.

My eyes rolled back and my body limply fell into oblivion.

*********

Dark wisps encompassed me. The silky-smooth shadows whirled around me like a hurricane and I am its eye. They glided passed me with such velocity I expected to get rashes, but instead it felt as if a purring cat had rubbed up against me. Every stoke felt cool and soothing, warm and disturbing all at the same time.

Dark, swirling walls and a ceiling so high I thought clouds would accumulate greeted me. Damp, musty air filled my lungs, frigid air brushed my arms despite the roaring fire along the far wall. My ears pounded to the fast gallop of my heart.

My eyes surprisingly didn't have to adjust to the dim light. Balls of fae-light floated high above me at varying levels, casting eerie shadows amongst the uneven, gritty walls.

But most terrifying of all was the enormous dark throne that stood out on the raised platform, so ridged it looked like it could've been made by black ice. All warmth drained from my face. The hairs stuck up on my arms, my nape. The beating drum in my chest thundered to a stop.

For before me, on that mighty throne, sat a regal male, his chin resting in his palm. His red strawberry hair flowed down his shoulders and back.

He smiled but his luminescent red eyes swirled with ill-conceived plans. A shiver made its way down my ridged spine.

"Finally back, are we?" Sauron's voice bounced off the surroundings, hitting me in more ways than one.

But I stood a little straighter, stuck my chin on high and struggled to shoved down my fear. 

I didn't let me voice waver as I said, "I was wondering when you would show again."

He stood, his dark tunic straightening itself, and smiled, cocking his handsome face to the side. It reminded me so much of Legolas that I had the sudden urge to barf all over the polished floor.

He squinted those entrancing eyes as if he could indeed see what I was thinking.

He opened his mouth—

I interrupted, "can you separate Legolas from the Ring?"

His arched brows shot upwards. Perhaps it had been a mistake mentioning who, exactly, has his precious One Ring to Rule Them All.

His fingers twitched.

Yes, definitely a mistake.

His eyes flared brightly and the room chilled considerably. I felt as if I was on an island, the ground beneath me threatening to fall away.

"... If I could, what would you do for me?"

A bargain, I realized. He wanted to make a bargain. Fine. If it could help Legolas, fine. I would do it.

I opened my mouth, closed it. The Dark Lord wouldn't just want anything, he would want me to pay a hefty price.

"My life."

"Not good enough." What could be more than my life? Then I realized what he wanted. And my knees wobbled.

"Give me something that I have actual interest in."

I would've scowled if I wasn't so mortified by what I'm about to offer.

"I'll command your armies of Uur Rauko."

His eyes smiled, but he waited for more.

"And I'll follow your every command concerning the ordeal."

He didn't dare let his satisfaction show. Not when the deal has yet to be sealed.

"Finish it," he spat.

With a shaky breath, I sealed my fate with both my voice and soul.

"In the name of Eru Iluvatar,

I, Lumornel Nolatari, hereby bargain up my body and soul to command Sauron's Uur Raoku,

In exchange for freeing Legolas Thranduilion from The Dark Lord's Ring,

If I fail to uphold my end,

Then my Fea and Hroa shall be separated,

And I shall surely die."

Doom settled in my stomach like a heavy rock

Sauron finally let that grin loose. Placing his hands in front of him he voiced smugly his end of the bargain.

"In the name of Eru Iluvatar,

I, Sauron, Dark Lord of Mordor and soon all of Middle Earth, hereby bargain Legolas's freedom from my Ring,

In exchange for Lumornel Tree-shade commanding my legions upon her own free will,

If I fail to uphold my end,

Then my Fea and Hroa shall be separated,

And I shall surely die."

His enchanting voice boomed and echoed off the walls, as if announcing to the world his latest achievement. And I knew that this bargain leaned more in his favor, for the Ring would always find a way back to its master and he now has gained a general for his monsters.

But I felt the deal snap into place. Searing pain exploded behind my ear. I screamed, falling to my knees.

"You can already feel the victory in the air." He breathed in through his nose, as if he could smell it too.

Too afraid that my voice would crack, I bit my tongue to keep back a snide comment. Besides, I was too busy catching my breath and regaining my footing.

So I settled for a clenching of the fist.

"So much anger has resided in you lately," he tutted. "But it shall work in my favor. If all goes to plan."

My arms shook as I let out a strained exhale through my nose. Oh how I wanted to wrap my hands around his throat, blind him with my light. The Dark Lord has terrorized Arda too much, for far too long.

But that unfamiliar rage cooled into fear as he took several steps forward. I could smell the jasmine and cinnamon wafting off him. He reached forward and cupped my face with a smooth hand. His thumb glided over the scar from that injury he tasted my blood from. 

"The darkness in you curls around your spine as if it is One with you."

The darkness, that evil—it is supposed to be gone. It was supposed to have been changed!

"No. No no no." I shook my head, took a staggered step back. His hand fell along with everything I am.

A dazzling smirk crossed his moon-kissed face, the sight was enough to make a balrog flinch.

"Oh, don't worry, love. I'll pull it forth with the force of a thousand wargs. Then it'll have no choice but to show it's delightful glory for all to see." That smirk morphed into a full forged grin.

"Oh what fun this will be."

And then the screaming began.

********

"West, west away. The round sun is falling."

--Can you guess who? It's part of a song that makes me want to cry

(I'll give you a hint, it's Legolas.)

I plan on updating every Sunday. Not sure how long this'll last though.

Sending out prayers to those affected by the Hurricanes.

I'M READING TOWER OF DAWN AND IM HAAAPY. AND I NEED CHAOL/YRENE FANART. NO SPOILERS FOR THOSE WHO HAVE ALREADY READ IT. IM ONLY ON PAGE 400-SOMETHING.

Navaer, mellonamin!

~Awatin~