"Are we there yet? Dad?" Azen asked for the 14th time as the Galaxy 7 Hatchback left the rings of Saturn in the rearview.  Azen sat in the middle row next to his twin sisters, who had decided to combine, and sat in the other window seat, so there was no fighting over the desirable spot.

Fifteen, Snord Bitzbee added to the tally. He was keeping count. This time he meant it, unlike the last three trips. He'd warned Azen that if he asked that question more than 20 times, they would only visit Disneyworld one day instead of two. 

Azen had begged, cried, and pleaded to visit Disneyworld ever since he fledged. And asked every hatching anniversary and school vacation. Snord and Vera finally made plans to take him and the twins this Earth summer.

"It's only 936 million miles, Daddy. Can you go a million miles a minute? We'd be there in 10 minutes." Azen tried again. Snord thought he wouldn't count this one as that question. Snord knew Azen wanted to visit Disneyworld ever since he'd seen Wall-E a few years ago. Snord and Vera finally convinced their boy the movie was not a documentary, but fiction, and that Earth had Earthlings. Who'd made the movie. Hence, this visit, Azen would not get Wall-E's autograph.

Azen accepted that he wouldn't get to fly with Wall-E, there was no house floating on balloons, and, to the twins' disgust, they wouldn't get to meet Queen Anna of Arendelle.

"Daddy, if you go a million miles an hour, we can be there in 9 minutes," Azen offered a moment later.

Sixteen. "I'm going half a million miles an hour and we should be over Florida in the US of Earth in 20 minutes. That question, boy, in any way, shape, or form, five times, and it's one day in Disneyworld."

Twenty-one minutes later the hatchback flew over Florida, as Snord checked his GPN (Galaxy Positioning Net). "Next stop, Kissimmee," he said.

"Girls," said Vera. "Time to separate. Remember to stay separated. The twins shuddered and disjoined. Buren sat in the middle, and her twin, Zuren, sat next to her by the window. "Remember, stay separated the whole time we're on Earth. Earthlings, for all they write about aliens and extraterrestrials, don't really expect to see them. All of you, no feathers, and stay pink."

"Yes, mother," the children said.

"I-4," Snord said to the GPN. Soon the hatchback, now appearing like Earth SUV, was racing down a crowded highway.

It was soon obvious they were headed to Daytona. They were lost. The GPN provided no help. Snord pulled into a gas station, which his cousin, Rolt, told him provided drinks, snacks, and  'gas', which powered their vehicles. He parked in the handicapped spot. The station offered food such as fried chicken and burgers, all sorts of drinks, including many types of 'beer', and Florida souvenirs.

"Get some oranges," Vera said. "Rolt says Florida is famous for oranges which can be eaten or drunk. I want to try some."

"Yeah, Daddy," said, Buren. "Get some of those music magazines with the hot teen boy singers."

"Yeah," said Zuren, "let's try beer. There's so many kinds. It must be the most popular Earth drink."

Snord walked inside. People were buying food, drinks, snacks, paying for gas, and buying lottery tickets. They scratched them and threw them away, or returned them to the cashier and got their money back, the money used to repeat the process.

He asked the cashier for directions to Kissimmee. "My wife wants oranges. Do you have any? Can you show me one? I've never seen one."

The cashier stared at him, looked at his SUV in the handicapped space and didn't recognize the model. "Out-of-towner?"she asked.

"Yes," said Snord, who figured he was out of a lot of things, including towners.

"Never seen a car like that," said the cashier. "How many miles per gallon does it get?"

"Miles per gallon?"

"Of gas."

"It runs on plasma high test," said Snord.

"One of those new fuel cars," she said, losing interest. "We had oranges from Mexico, but sold the last ones to some people from Indiana." Snord wondered if 'Indiana' was a moon of Jupiter. Earth was getting popular for ET families to visit. "We have a new lottery game. Want to buy some tickets?"

On Earth, do what the Earthlings do. "Sure." He handed her a $100 dollar bill. "How many will this buy?"

"The new game, 20." She counted 20 tickets from the slot and handed them to Snord. "Good luck."

A few minutes later Snord was in the hatchback with five suitcases of beer (one for each of them), every teen music magazine he could find, tasty-looking snacks, and directions to Orlando.

"These are lottery tickets," he said, handing them out. "We scratch them and throw them away. If a ticket wins, we get money or more tickets."

"Earthlings scratch for fun, Dad?" Zuren asked.

"One man got all excited because he won and got money. Another man turned a winning ticket in and got more tickets. Those tickets lost and he left the gas station with beer."

"So they spend money for tickets to win money but mostly they don't win."

"Right. You are beginning to understand Earthlings, Zeren."

The Bitzbees scratched away. Vera said, "This ticket wins $5.00."

"Got a winner," said Buren, "$100,000. Is that good, Dad?"

"I don't know," said Snord. "I want to get to Kissimmee. I'll throw all the tickets in that trash can."

As Snord pulled onto the highway, a ragged man with a ragged dog on a ragged rope dug through the trash can. He pulled out and nibbled on a half-eaten chicken breast, then gave some meat to the dog. He checked the lottery tickets. He tore off the $5.00 winner and continued checking. He froze when he found the $100,000 winner, then jumped up and down. His dog kept eating chicken, which it didn't often get.

The Bitzbees settled in their motel room in Kissimmee, and ate dinner at a taco fast food restaurant. They each got a family pack, and ate them all.

Back at their motel they checked out the beer varieties. They opened the cartons and each took a can. "This is alcohol, Snord," said Vera. "Fortunately, alcohol doesn't intoxicate us. Drink away." They drank. And drank. And drank till the beer was gone.

"I like beer, Mom," said Azen. "Can we take some home?"

"Sure," said Vera, tilting her head back to get the last drops from the can. "Rolt never mentioned beer."

The family didn't get drunk on beer, but its diuretic effect kept them up and flushing all night, to the annoyance of their neighbors and the management. In the morning they agreed to drink less beer.

The next few days included trips to the beaches, shopping, eating tacos and drinking beer. Finally the time for Disneyworld arrived. Snord drove to Orlando. Azen used up his last four 'Are we there yet?' but he'd been keeping count and stopped in time. They checked into their Disneyworld hotel. Azen was beside himself. "We're here, Dad, we're here."

They lined up to buy passes. Snord asked for five and passed over several hundred-dollar bills. The cashier checked his drawer. "Just a moment, sir; I'm out of tens." A manager came over with change and the cashier handed Snord the passes. "Here's your change. Ten, eleven, twelve. Enjoy your day."

Snord examined the money in his hand. A ten-dollar bill. A towner. "I've figured out what towners are," he told Vera. "Money with 10 on it. I've actually got a lot of towners, and I told that cashier I didn't have any. Silly me."

The Bitzbees spent the day going on every ride, eating in restaurants (no beer and no tacos but the kids loved it) and buying souvenirs. "We're not out-of-towners," he told a clerk in a souvenir shop where they all bought hats and t-shirts, handing the young man several ten-dollar bills.

"Ok," said the clerk. Tourist if ever I saw one. He gave Snord his change. "Enjoy your day."

That night as they were getting four taco family meals, another customer asked Snord and Vera, "Did you hear a homeless man found a lottery ticket that won $100,000 in a trash can? Can you believe it?" The newspaper the man held had a picture of a barbered man with a groomed dog that turned out to be a poodle with painted nails and a rhinestone collar.

On the way to their hotel they stopped at a fruit stand. "Do you have any oranges?" Vera asked the greengrocer?"

"No," she said. "We had some from Brazil a few weeks ago, but none now."

They spent their last day at Disneyworld going back on their favorite rides, eating, buying more souvenirs, and taking pictures of every Disney character performer they could find. At last they returned to their hotel for their last night in Florida.

They left for home early in the morning, the hatchback packed with souvenirs, tacos, all the beer they could fit in, and no oranges.

As Snord left Earth's orbit and headed for home, 239,000,000 miles away, Azen asked, "Are we there yet?"