Chapter 33

            April and May went by, as miserable and rainy as they were; followed closely behind by June and July, much without a fuss but much more merry and warmer and with a lot more sunshine.

            The wolf thing brought about a whole new change to my schedule, not that I ever kept one. I was going out more, though not in the way that a usual teenager does; my trips out were tagging along with Baz to see what any little fuss was about. It was strange to think that he kept this all from me, and eventually I realised that he slipped out at night so as not to disturb me or worry me. There was also the fact that it was very difficult to find a spot to gather in, the school wasn’t always free, as Baz explained one night...

            ‘We are not the only pack who uses it. The head and his pack of teachers and so on claim it as their territory but since we are on it five days a week they can’t really kick us off when we want to meet there. So long as we don’t challenge them or try to invade the forest. You were lucky that Cayleb let you in to find me, and so am I. But as the other packs within the school use it too, there’s kind of a pecking order through the week, in a manner of speaking. But one place we like to visit is the beach.’

            The beach was where we were now. It wasn’t exactly warm but an advantage of a wolf was that our fur was rather thick and we stayed relatively toasty compared to the sea breeze around us. Having sand wedge between your toes however was annoying and the gritty particles didn’t seem to leave even after I paddled my way through the briny waves.

            I had only ever been to the beach once before, in my childhood, so I could recall. It reminded me of summer days, ice cream, sun bathing, sandcastle building and walks along the promenade; human memories compared to the scene that was now in front of me.

            Not all of them were wolves. Some of the girls had brought their bikinis and swim suits to go splashing about in the shallow waters of the sea; the rest, mostly the guys, padded about in the sand chasing each other or slunk about in the dunes behind me trying to catch rabbits. Beside one of the rocky barriers, used as a wave breaker, were my own personal group of friends among this rather large pack. Baz was already sat with them, talking about wolf things and I didn’t want to get too involved with all of that. I sat merrily and content at the top of the little concrete steps and listened to the night and the sounds that pervaded the swishing air around me.

            Without moving my head much, I looked about to see if I could spot anything worthwhile getting involved in. Nothing. Ashley had come over for a few minutes to see if I was feeling alright but I sent her back down to the sand to enjoy herself. I just wanted to sit here and think. There was a feeling inside me that refused to subside and I wanted this time to try and figure out what it was. For all the thinking that one could do in twenty minutes, the only thing I had figured out was that it was some type of yearning. What for I had no idea, so I decided to try and think of wolfish things that I hadn’t been up to lately to see if any of them created a pulse in the twisted ball deep down in the pit of my stomach.

            Evidently, I would have to try harder. I thought of hunting, tracking, howling, play fighting, proper fighting, giving orders (as an Alpha’s mate probably would), frisky frolicking but nothing seemed to create a reaction. Whatever it was, it would just have to wait to be sorted out another day; maybe I could get Baz to help, see if he had ever felt it before.

            Someone had begun howling, I looked over and saw it was one of the wolves right beside the water. After a few seconds, others started joining in; all stood up on all fours and heads turned up to the starry sky above. Before I decided to join in, I looked upwards myself and saw that the moon had edged its way out from behind the thin clouds that dotted the sky. It was a full moon. Though I had always wondered why wolves howled at the moon and whether or not it was a myth, it suddenly dawned on me that it was just because it was so beautiful and it waned away the heaviness of our hearts.

            As I stood up, the younger wolves that had been stalking through the dune grass ran out and joined the others on the sand. I didn’t want to move from this spot on the concrete carpet, I tensed my legs and drew in the deepest breath I could. On releasing the air, I tucked in my belly and drew on the energy inside me, using as much of the power I could muster from my wild mind. The howl I created was louder than any I had heard before; it didn’t just vibrate from my throat but travelled from tail to nose all through my body. The melody I created with my pack was so harmonious it was as fine tuned as any piece of music I had ever heard throughout my life.

            Running out of air, as everyone else, I cut off my throat and then breathed heavily through my nose for a few short seconds. The sound of clicking travelled to me. I looked up and saw Baz was clambering up the ramped concrete wall to come over to me. The toothy smile he gave me was so full of happiness and joy I didn’t know what to do. As he reached me, he slid his head past mine then put his chin over my neck; it was the way in which we hugged as wolves. Copying his gesture, I sighed softly and looked over his body until my eyes gazed upon his friends. Their postures resembled that of proud brothers and their stances were very grounded.

            ‘That was amazing. I wondered if you would ever understand why we did that. But by the sound of that howl, I know you do now.’ Baz’s voice seemed breathless as he spoke, his words barely that of a hushed whisper.

            ‘It just came over me and I had to join in,’ I explained. My content was now much more settled though I could still feel that small knot in my stomach.

*****

            ‘No, I don’t think I’ve ever had a feeling like that,’ Baz replied. I had just finished explaining about the yearning inside me to him. ‘Maybe you just need some more time to get used to your new self and whatever else. You’re different to the rest of us. We were aware of our other forms from when we were little so we’ve never had a problem with getting used to changes... well, most of us.’ He dropped his head before looking at me again. ‘However, you have come into it after spending nineteen years as a human.’ He placed his arms around me and held me tight. ‘I’m sure it will be ok. Just remember that you’ve always got me around if you need some company or someone to talk to.’ Bringing my head back so I could look into his eyes, I could tell that he was still a bit worried even if his lips didn’t show it, his eyes still held a tinge in them.

            ‘Can I sleep with you tonight?’ I only asked because the past few nights I had spent alone in my room thinking over my problems.

            He chuckled at me. ‘You don’t need to ask.’ He took my chin in his hand and held me steady as he touched his lips to mine. I could barely remember the last time we had kissed each other, not like this anyway. It began to create an urging deep within my mind and my teeth bit into his lower lip and I growled lowly at him. Letting go, I gave him a chance to do the same to me but he didn’t growl. When his teeth released my lip, he resumed to taunt me in the same way he always did when his kisses became stronger and fuller. There was no normal way of describing it other than it made me want him all the more desperately.

            Not wanting to let go of him, I clamped my hands down onto his shoulders and made my body go rigid in his arms; careful not to make it look like I was tensing up, I pushed towards him and stopped when my hips could no longer get any closer to his. His grip around my waist tightened as my tongue slid over his lips with the slightest touch. Taking his lips from mine, bringing out some frustration in me, he kissed his way down to my neck and shoulder before bringing his head up and leaving me with that same irritation prickling every inch of my being.

            ‘Ahem,’ someone coughed, which reminded me that we hadn’t been alone for all of the past however many minutes it was. ‘When you two are quite finished.’ It was Kevin. ‘Can we please get this sorted?’

            ‘You seem to be managing it by yourselves,’ Baz commented.

            The thing they were trying to sort out was the stage for one of the concerts that the school had arranged, with some small bands from around the area to perform at. They had let the students arrange how the hall should be and that is what my friends were doing right now. However, my cheeks flushed bright red when I also remembered that it wasn’t just my mates that were helping out. Nearly every person in the hall (and it was a very large hall) had their eyes focused on me and Baz; making the excuse that I needed the toilet. I headed out of the hall before running as fast as I could to the nearest bathroom.

            Splashing cold water onto my face and pulling a few tissues from the dispenser, I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed how my physique had changed since I had found out I was part-werewolf. My general shape was still curvy and dainty, but the muscles in my arms seemed more toned than they had ever been. So I could see the rest of my body, I stepped through to the shower block (also in the girl’s toilet room) and examined my body from toes up to waist. My calves were more prominent and my thighs were firmer and also well toned. Smiling slightly, I realised I had been doing more exercise within the last three months than I had in probably the five years previously. Though it probably wasn’t obvious to anyone else, it was to me; this was my body and it was becoming healthier and fitter with every week. It wasn’t that I was butchier; it was just that my muscles were tighter yet overall I seemed to be the same delicate, dainty human I had always appeared with my clothes on (I had only rolled my jeans up to look at my legs).

            Walking back up to the hall, I had a smug smile on my lips and a strut that I hadn’t really used much before. Feeling that I had neglected my dancing skills for awhile, I decided to do some in the corridor seeing as no one was about.

            Poking my head through the door, I spotted where Baz was and headed over, my strut no longer a part of my walk. Running my index finger across his shoulders, I stepped around him and sat on one of the speaker boxes with a smirk on my lips.

            Looking confused, he set about sorting out the wires to the sound system while he talked with me. ‘What has got you in such a frisky mood then?’ he asked.

            Crossing my legs and swinging them a bit, I sniggered. ‘Frisky? Me?’ But my innocent eyes weren’t working on him.

            ‘Hmm, yes you. Can you at least pretend you’re helping out?’ My attempt at helping out was to lay the wires out and make sure the right ones were in the right sockets of the sound box that the DJs used. ‘Look,’ he began again. ‘We can go for a run tonight and you can tell me what’s on your mind.’

            ‘We don’t need to go for a run for me to tell you that, Baz.’ I tried to put a flirtatious ring to my words but keeping my voice down so no one could hear us.

            ‘Right, I see what’s on your mind then. Can’t you wait for tomorrow night?’ Pouting my lips and raising my eyebrows, I looked at him like a hurt puppy. He tapped my nose. ‘Nice try, just be patient you.’ Stepping behind me, he kissed me cheek then went off to help someone with the lights and leaving me with the wires.

            ‘Hey, Kez,’ came Ethan’s voice behind me. I turned my head to smile my acknowledgement at him. ‘Need a hand.’

            I had pretty much finished but another pair of eyes to check it over wasn’t a bad thing. ‘Sure, could you check this out with me?’

            ‘No problem.’ He walked over and we set about ticking off the right colours and connections to each of the boxes; when that was done, we set about taping all the loose wires to the floor so no one would pull them with their feet the next night.

*****