Chapter 10

            I waited by the reception desks while Baz bought our tickets and some popcorn, and was still worrying about the next time I’d meet Cayleb; I was only hoping he wouldn’t give anything away by looking at me oddly in front of the class.

            Taking our tickets off Baz so he could hold the popcorn properly, I handed them to the man outside the doors that led to the different screens. As always when we came alone, we had seats on the back row. Once we had sat down, I slipped sideways and leaned as much as I could into Baz’s side (even though it was still the adverts) and he put his arm over my shoulder. Every now and then he would pick up a few popcorn pieces and put one or two into my mouth; I held his hand (that hang over me) in both of mine.

            While the film played, I was only half paying attention to it as I had other things on my mind. I do admit, mostly to myself, that I should not be thinking at all about what I was. Copies of the feelings and emotions I had felt with my last meeting with Cayleb were flowing around through my head; it still hurt me deep down in my chest that I had done what I did, but part of me (at the time) thought if I gave him what he wanted (or was after) then maybe he would leave me alone for good. Except, after that very ferocious moment when I practically pounced onto him, I seemed to be craving those feelings immediately after I had left the room and ran out of his reach.

            Shivering at the thought that I wanted more of Cayleb, I felt Baz’s eyes drop down as he squeezed me with his arm. Shuffling a bit, I looked up into his eyes and put on a small smile.

            ‘Almost over now, hun. You seem a bit bored,’ he whispered down into my ear.

            ‘Nah, I’m not bored. I’m just very comfortable,’ I said, defending my somewhat tiredness.

            Kissing my lips, he smiled and sort of leant into me too.

            We sat in my car, outside our house, I had took the key out of the ignition and sat with my hands in my lap and my forehead resting on the steering wheel; Baz sat patiently next to me in the passenger seat. The air between us was a little awkward; he had asked me what I thought of the night and I took a little too long in answering which had made him think I hadn’t liked it at all.

            ‘You seemed like you weren’t paying much attention in the cinema,’ he began. ‘Is there something on your mind you want to talk about, Kez?’ he asked with concern in his voice.

            Sighing a little and dropping my shoulders, I turned my head and looked at him. ‘I’m just a little confused lately, Barry. I mean, I sometimes feel like I’m in the wrong place around you werewolves. And well, sometimes...’ I hesitated.

            His right hand slipped into mine and he lifted my head off the steering wheel with his other. ‘Whatever it is, you can tell me.’

            ‘Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve you, or you deserve better than me. After all I am just a human and you’re a... well you know. I sometimes feel a little below you.’ With every word I said, he looked more and more hurt or upset.

            He caressed my cheek with his hand and leaned over a bit. ‘Oh, Kerry, I never knew you felt like that at all, ever. Well, you’re perfect for me. It doesn’t matter that you’re a human, to me that’s the best part about you. You can love in a way that not even I understand. As weird as that sounds, it’s true. I love you so much, but I get scared myself sometimes that you might think that I don’t love you as much compared to what you feel for me.’ Even as he spoke, I became surprised at what he was saying.

            I put both my hands in his before pulling him closer and planting my lips hard on his. ‘I’m sorry, Baz. I didn’t know that either.’ I felt tears in my eyes; and everything that had happened over the past few weeks and days suddenly hit me harder than when I got hit with a rounder’s ball in year nine.

            ‘Ssshhh, Kez. It’s ok, we’ve found out a bit about each other in these last five minutes.’ He stroked my hair as I cried into his chest. ‘Kerry, please stop crying, hun. It’s not like I’m going to break up with you. I need you as much as you need me. Come on, let’s go to bed.’ He stepped out, walked round to my side, and helped me out (keeping me as close he could).

            Once again, we were in his room. I was lying on my side, him on his back and we were looking into each other’s eyes while some soft music was playing from his laptop (it was only on low so we didn’t wake anyone else). I twirled my index finger round in circles over his chest as I lay there and tried to stop any thoughts enter my mind about anyone or anything else but him. It was driving me insane; I wanted to feel more like him and his kind; all proud, strong, mysterious, and vicious and everything else that came with being a werewolf; exactly how I felt when I was kissing Cayleb.

            I stabbed at myself inside for even remembering that.

            ‘Kez, you ok?’ he asked, I must have flinched when I stopped my thoughts.

            ‘Huh? Yeh, just tired. I need to sleep.’

            He looked at bit upset at that. ‘I’ll tuck you in then.’ And he began to get up.

            I pushed him back down, rather too forcibly than I intended. ‘No, I want to stay here with you.’

            His glorious smile brightened up the room in an instant. ‘Oh, well in that case... Hehe, I had an idea the other day. You can sleep under the covers; front, side or back. And I can lie on you as my other form over the top of you. Not completely, just half of me so you don’t get too hot.’ He said this all with such affection that I couldn’t possibly say no; I found it very cute and rather adorable, and I wanted to keep him happy.

            ‘Awww, that sounds so nice. Sure, whatever you want, honey.’ He got off the bed so I could get in; I watched him change and he leapt up onto the wall side of the bed. Putting one paw over my chest and leaning over me, he nuzzled my neck before lying down with his head resting over my upper arm.

            We both drifted off to sleep like that, I felt so safe with him on top of me like that, as though he was protecting me from the outside world.

*****

            Waking up, I rubbed my eyes and stretched; Baz stretched too and then sat watching me while I got changed. He changed too, clothes as well, and then we wandered downstairs for breakfast.

            Opening the lounge door, Charlie looked over. ‘So how was your night?’ he asked.

            Baz sat next to him, leaving me to do some toast. ‘It was alright. Though someone wasn’t really paying attention...’

            Knowing he was talking about me, I poked my head round the corner. ‘Oh, it’s not my fault. I didn’t really get what the film was about,’ I said while waving the butter knife about. ‘Anyway, enough about me and Baz. How was your date with Ash?’

            ‘Erm... um,’ Charlie hesitated. ‘Yeh, it went ok.’

            Baz started giggling. ‘Just ok? Come on, I can still smell her perfume all over you.’ He leaned across the sofa and sniffed at Charlie’s clothes, who pushed him off.

            ‘Ok, fine. We spent longer together than you two did last night. And no it wasn’t all kissing and sex like you’re thinking, Baz.’ Baz put his hands up in a defending gesture. ‘Alright, turns out we kinda like each other.’

            I had walked over by now, with mine and Baz’s breakfasts, and sat down on one of the armchairs. ‘This is cute. When are you next seeing her?’

            He shrugged and sank a bit into the cushions. ‘I don’t know. I guess I’ll next see her round school.’

            ‘Then why are you looking like you don’t want to see her?’ I asked, pointing out the obvious.

            ‘Just not sure if I should be after a relationship right now.’

            Baz looked at Charlie confused; I just sat and ate my toast. ‘Eh, well, I’m sure you can sort things out for yourself.’

            At that, Charlie perked up a bit; not understanding half the stuff that goes through guys’ heads, I shrugged my shoulders and finished breakfast.

            School went as normal that day, and having no drama class was brilliant in my mind. The only thing that made my day a little tense was passing Cayleb in one of the hallways by the gym while I was on my way there.