Chapter 20 - Unfortunate Reality

Tris

I'm standing in the Chasm, but this isn't just by the Chasm, this is where Tobias showed me his tattoo and where him and I first kissed. He comes walking toward me, and presses his lips to mine; just like the last time we were here except I don't stop him. It's been so long since I've been this happy. But of course I'm happy right now, I am kissing the love of my life.

We just stand there kissing in the Chasm for what feels like forever and a day until he pulls away.

"I love you." He says tears brimming his eyes.

A tear escapes my eye,"I love you too."

"Be brave, Tris." He presses his lips to mine again and I don't hesitate to kiss back.

I jump, pain shooting down my leg, causing me to let out a strangled cry. The ghost of his lips still linger on mine.

I touch my lips looking around just to realize that it was all a dream.

I'm still in this damn cell with three bullets lodged in my left leg, and a man that wants me to die as slowly as possible.

But worst of all, Tobias isn't here. But in a way, that's a good. It's better him than me, as long as he's safe, I'll be partially happy.

On the other hand, I wish he was here to tell me everything will be okay; to comfort me; to press his lips to mine like he did in my dream.

Tears start spilling out if my eyes and I hide my head in my hands forgetting about the pain in my leg, but confronting the pain in my heart head on. Why does life have to be so hard? Why can't I just have a moment of peace; even if it's in a dream.

"Be brave." He told me in my dream. Also before my first simulation back during Dauntless initiation.

I will be brave. I can live through this; we all can.

Dad and Mom are still asleep. Good thing that I didn't wake them up, because they need it... especially mom.

Now that she's asleep and still, I can get a good look at her. She is physically the same, her dark brown hair pulled back in a messy bun, her face has some mild bruising, but she mostly looks the same. She looks different because I know her in only one kind of clothing; abnegation's distinct grey attire. Right now she is wearing dark grey sweatpants and a huge baggy grey shirt. That attire may not look right on her to me, but it's nothing I can't get use to. But by how she is laying right now, I notice something...

She is not as skinny as I remember. That doesn't make sense... She's getting the same amount, if not, less food than Dad and I. Unless David is pulling her out to give her more food or something...

But I highly doubt that.

It just doesn't make sense...

She has a huge shirt on, so I'm assuming that David is trying to hide something.

I can't contain my curiosities any longer. I slowly and cautiously slip my right hand between the bars, wincing as some of my weight is added to my left leg, and try and lift up her shirt without her noticing.

I slide it up slowly.

Little bit by little bit trying not to wake her.

I hold back a gasp as I have her shirt up by her belly button and it looks like what I was scared of.

A little more,

There.

Now her shirt is all the way over her stomach and I can't conceal a gasp any longer.

God is she huge! How did I not notice?! I don't want to let myself believe it, but...

She's defiantly pregnant.

Worse yet,

Her and dad haven't been close to each other to do, well, that, in who knows how long...

Most likely by David.

It all makes sence now. David saying that he was going to get what he had wanted but never got; which was a family with mom.

He's forcing her to have a family with him, and she doesn't even want it. Also, I'm guessing that Mom is a little too old to have kids, which will make it worse for her.

This man is sick.

Having a family means to have a group of people that live and protect each other, not someone that forces someone like that into having your children just for your sake.

That's not love, that's anything but love.

She has to be quite a few months along to be this big... maybe seven or eight. But I'm no doctor to call that.

I gently put my cold hand on her warm stomach, trying not to wake her. Sure enough, I feel a kick.

Some how, some way, me and that baby inside of her are related, even though it was made from that sick man, David, I still will love it.

Mom's eyes slowly flutter open, and she smiles at me, probably thinking she's still asleep.

I smile back no matter how upset I am about this; about what David has done to my mother.

"Good morning." My voice croaks.

She smiles, but then looks at her stomach and her smile fades a little. She looks back at me, then at her stomach, then at me again. Tears start to slip out of her eyes.

"I'm sorry." She sobs. "I should have told you."

I take a deep breath, wishing, hoping, praying that I'm still in that dream with Tobias and that this is just a nightmare in between it all and that I'll wake up and mom will be fine.

But it isn't. This is the real world. I'm one hundred percent awake. So I have to ask.

"Was it Da-vid?" My voice cracks on his name.

She nods and tries to sit up but struggles with her stomach.

I still can't believe it! How did I not notice? Have I really been that out of it since I've been here?

"Please don't be upset, Beatrice. I had no choice... He said that if I didn't obey him, it would be you and he would hurt your father, and-"

I cut her off. "I would never be upset at you... It's all his fault. And even though we may not have the same father, I will still love the baby. I will always love you. That's never going to change."

There's a silence between us for what feels like hours.

"How along do you think you are?" I cannot help asking.

"Almost nine months. David's been keeping track. I've got to be due any day soon... But I ready know that the baby is an unhealthy size. He or she is way too small."

I nod not knowing what to say.

"He's had me wearing huge baggy clothes so I can hide the fact from you... and from himself. He did always want to family with me, but I guess not bad enough that he really wants to admit it. That's why he's continued to abuse me at almost nine months pregnant, feed me as much as normal which isn't much, basically do nothing that you're supposed to do while you're pregnant. It's amazing that this baby is still alive inside of me; and that I'm still alive with it."

I cannot speak. It's like my brain has shut down and all I can do is look at her and let the tears room down my face.

"Your father has been really upset... David hasn't been torturing him in anyway because just looking at me every day is torture for him. His wife, pregnant with some other man that she hates, being pulled out almost every day to be raped. It's enough torture for him, and David knows that."

"What are you going to do when it's actually time for the baby?" I ask her.

Tears begin to come down her face again, but faster now.

"Beatrice," she starts, "I think you should know that I've been pregnant twice since I've been captured... But I haven't made it this far I've had a miscarriage the past two times, and thank God for that. I haven't actually experienced childbirth since I had you, and I'm not excited for a third time. Especially in these conditions."

She's been pregnant twice? Oh my goodness... That means I have four siblings even though only one of them is alive right now, and the other, unborn. Two have died. I don't want to call them step-siblings though because mom and David are definitely not married. I just like to think that their kids from my father, not him. To me they will always be my siblings... No matter who their father is.

"Just remember that I'll be here for you, mom. " I tell her.

Although the are bars and her stomach are separating us, we still manage to share some form of a hug between them.

I put my hand on her stomach and feel my younger sibling kick. I smile; one that you do when your trying to hide the sorrow building up inside of you, not the one that you give when your one hundred percent happy. "I love you." I kiss her stomach, then pull her shirt back over it. She wipes a tear from my cheek with her thumb and holds the side of my face and smiles; a sad smile just like mine.

Let's just say that right now life is an unfortunate reality.

A/N-

Hi humans! Happy Monday! (If there's such thing?!)

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