Penelope

I relay the address to the taxi company as I pace the length of the sidewalk. I'm too tipsy to drive home. Before I made the call, I put the keys in the console of Cassian's vehicle and locked it. When the party's over, all he must do is type in the code. Whoever invented that feature for vehicles is a saint.

Confusion and disbelief cloud my mind. I need to leave. After I've slept the alcohol off, I need to figure out a plan of attack. Patrick needs to be eased into this news. I'm lucky to have parents like mine. They've never lied to me or told me otherwise. All my life, I've had nothing but support and love. We never built our foundation on a lie. My family never blindsided me.

My heart aches for Patrick. Just as things seem better for him, shit hits the fan. All because of a patriarchal asshole. And I bet that's why Patrick doesn't have a pleasant relationship with Doug. I bet Doug resents Patrick because there's no blood relation. Just a legal name to pass down and flaunt.

"Penelope!"

Just as I'm hanging up, I turn around. Ophelia's jogging down the salted sidewalk in her high heels. Her breath comes out in white puffs, dissipating into the air. Snow is falling again, leaving a light dusting atop the cement. It's a wonder how she's jogging in her heels.

"What do you want?" I sniffle.

Ophelia stops in front of me, fiddling with the strap of her dress. She keeps her gaze locked on the snow-dusted cement. Her face holds nothing but shame, and her cheeks are burning from the cold or embarrassment. I don't think she expected having this conversation.

A few more seconds pass before my filter snaps. "How could you do this to him?" I demand. "What made you think keeping the truth from him would help?"

"I know!" she exclaims. "I know I messed up! But—"

"Why would you put this one me?" I ask. "You know damn well I can't keep this from Patrick. Not when he's been so open and careful with me."

Patrick sprang the news on me, but he didn't force me into accepting it. He gave me space and time. Because of that, we've built a foundation between the two of us. One that includes trust. If I don't tell him the truth, then that foundation goes to waste.

Ophelia pulls a painted lip between her teeth, smudging her lipstick. A streak of dark red now covers her front teeth. When she releases her bottom lip, she drags her tongue across her teeth, clearing them of any smudged lipstick. "I wanted to help," she whispers. As she stands in front of me, shivering from the cold, I realize how deflated she looks. Her posture is terrible and her eyes are red from the onset of tears. The look in her eyes isn't pleasant, either. It's very distant, as if she's wishing she could go back and change her mistakes. "I was all for him finding his twin sister—you. Until Renée revealed Doug wasn't the father. Penelope, I weighed the options I had. In the end, I kept it from Patrick. He already had to deal with his Mom and Dad shutting him down. Finding out his father isn't his father would've caused damage beyond repair."

I snort, my lips curling into a sneer. Although I can understand Ophelia's intentions, all she did was fuel the suppression. She gave Patrick's parents power. Power that should've never been given. It's difficult for me to understand how they could keep such a shocking, important secret from him. My parents would never do such a thing. I don't think any of my family members would.

"All you did was fuel them," I say. "You fuelled them and made Patrick feel insignificant. Family members are supposed to stand up for one another." I pause, staring off into the distance. The vineyard looks magical; the Christmas lights would through the fence stand out against the mountains behind. "And then you thought it would be a good idea to treat me crappy, too. I don't see the logic in any of your actions. Maybe you wanted to help Patrick, but you realize you've made everything worse, right? When he finds out..."

Ophelia sighs and rubs her temples. Snowflakes are catching in her hair and lashes, dampening them. I glance over her shoulder, staring at the winery. She must have an office where we can continue this conversation. If we stand out here much longer, we're going to catch colds. And I sure as hell don't want to be sick for Christmas.

But...

Going back inside isn't smart. I'm too tipsy. As I stated before, I need to sleep off the alcohol and solve this problem with a clear mind. In the same breath, the Okanagan feels stuffy. It's as if the mountains have come crumbling down into the valley and are suffocating me. I'm being pummelled by falling debris, wondering if I'll be able to get up again. If I'll ever be able to breathe.

"He's going to hate me," Ophelia replies, her voice disconnected. "But I still stand by my decision. I wanted to keep him safe."

"Safe?" I ask. "From what? If there's more to the story, then tell me, Ophelia! Don't leave me blindsided in this mess."

A mess I never asked for, I might add.

Ophelia huffs out a breath, a cloud of white smoke dissipating into the air. "Penelope, you're lucky they gave you up for adoption. Doug is patriarchal. He believes a woman belongs in the kitchen and that household duties are her only purpose. Aside from having babies, of course."

My stomach flips. I want to throw up. Punch something. Any man who thinks that can go to hell. Although I am a firm believer in feminism, you can't deny the strength of a woman. We can carry a human being for nine months and give birth to them. We can bleed for approximately five days without dying. And although we never asked for any of this, we fight through it like the badass bitches we are. We provide for ourselves, we work, we can do anything we goddamn please. We don't need to marry. We don't need to have children. We can do whatever the hell we want. 

We are the descendents of the witches they could not burn.

I make a motion with my hand, telling Ophelia to continue.

"Controlling a woman is abuse," she continues. "She's suffered through emotional and mental trauma with him." The poison and disgust in her voice shocks me, despite Ophelia's tough armour. "Sometimes I'm terrified for my aunt. If a man can inflict that kind of suffering, then who's saying he will not hit her, too?"

I tighten my cardigan around my body. She can tell me all the details later. I understand the broader picture. I want to know where she's going with this. "What did he do when Renée had an affair? When she found out she was pregnant with twins?" I pause. If my biological mother faced trauma and abuse, why did she risk having an affair? Why didn't she divorce him first and then run away with the man she loved? "Why did she do it?" I ask. "The affair?"

"Lost his mind," Ophelia replies. She's shaking violently from the cold, and I'm tempted to give her my sweater. I don't, though, because I'm too cold to do so. "She never told me the full details, but I think he hurt her, Penelope. Despite their toxic relationship, Renée has always been strong around my mom and I. She never diminished the truth. Until the day she could no longer hide her pregnancy. I can't recall the way she looked or acted, but Mom tells me something was off. She was acting weird. As for Renée's reasoning? I'm not sure why she did it. I think she wanted someone who truly loved her and treated her as an equal."

"How do you know all this?" I ask, doing the calculations in my head. She's the same age as Cassian, so she only would've been two years old when Renée was pregnant with Patrick and I. There's a two-year difference between us.

She gives me a half-smile. "I know it doesn't seem like it, but my mom and I are close. We tell each other everything. She worries about her sister a lot."

I shake my head. "I still don't understand. Why keep all this from Patrick?"

"Because." She runs a hand through her hair, wiping away the snowflakes. "Because if Mom's assumptions are true, do you think Doug would appreciate his son standing up for women? Thank God Patrick got his brains from his real father and actually respects people. I don't want Patrick getting hurt, okay? He's not the type to fight. He'll argue and justify his points, but he would never throw a fist to defend himself. If Doug laid a hand on him..." She trails off, shaking her head. "Patrick may not feel the same way, but he's like a brother to me. I have to protect him."

I shudder, trying not to think about my brother bruised and bleeding. "Do you really think he'd try to beat that mindset into Patrick?"

Her shoulders sag. "I don't know, Penelope. But that's exactly why I didn't take the chance of telling him when Mom told me."

Although I don't want to understand where Ophelia's coming from, I can't prevent myself from doing so. Fine, I'll give her credit for caring about her cousin. But the way she treated me? No. She's not getting away with that. "That didn't give you the right to treat me like shit," I say, crossing my arms. She's not getting away with this. "You acted extremely dismissive."

"I thought you'd back off if you weren't welcome."

Her truth is cold, but at least she's being honest with me. I respect that. It still doesn't justify her behaviour, though. "You could have told me. Knowing the facts would have given me a chance to adjust. Had you explained what was going on and kept me in the loop, things could've turned out differently. I would've abided by your requests. We could have figured this out. Now? Patrick knows something's up because I haven't returned. And because of your behaviour. It's going to blow up in his face, which is something he doesn't deserve."

Ophelia crosses her arms, shivering with the cold. "I-I..."

I glance away, trying to pull myself together. I will not lie to Patrick when he asks me what happened between Ophelia and I. We're trying to build up our relationship. If I lie, I'll ruin all our hard work.

But my heart hurts for him. He can't seem to catch a break with his family.

My eyes flutter shut, lashes tickling my cheekbone as snowflakes kiss my cold skin. "Why would you do this?" I whisper. My chest feels like it's about to crack open. I don't want Patrick to face more drama. I never expected to be disappointed in my biological family (minus Patrick, obviously). Everything feels toxic at the moment, including the party inside. I wonder if my brother is talking to our mom. Our lying mother.

I press a hand over my heart, digging my nails into my skin. It feels like my chest is about to crack open and spill the contents across the snowy cement. Being drunk isn't helping the lack of control I have over my emotions. All I want to do is drop to my knees and cry.

When I open my eyes, Ophelia is staring at me. She looks unsure of what to do next. Hesitantly, Ophelia pulls me into a hug. The kind gesture breaks the rest of my foundation. I pull my cousin closer, sobbing into the shoulder of her dress. "I want to go home," I sob. "And I don't know where that is at the moment."

My heart pulls me in different directions. I want Cassian's arms wrapped around me. Or the comfort of my childhood home. My office, where I have an astounding view of the ocean and can hear the slow trickle of Taylor Swift from Jake's office. Gemma's house is another place I've been spending my time. Or maybe I want to hike to the top of the Grouse Grind. Perhaps I want to go to Gabriel's restaurant and catch up with Patrick over fancy salads and free drinks.

These places and people hold value to my heart. If I could combine every place, I would.

But the place that calls to me the most is my house back in Saanich. It's small and smells of saltwater and rain, but it's home. I want my fuzzy blanket and window seat. My steaming cup of tea covering the stain on the windowsill. I want rain pattering against the faded blue panelling. My champagne toast candle burning in the background while I read.

Home provides comfort when no one can.

"I want to go home," I hiccup, my mind made up. "Back to Saanich."

Ophelia steps back, resting her hands on my shoulders. "What about Cassian?"

"What about me?"

Ophelia and I break the hug, turning around to stare at Cassian and Jake as they walk up to us. Cassian's already removing his jacket. When he stops beside me, he wraps the jacket around my shoulders and pulls me into his arms. I welcome his body heat, pressing my forehead against his chest.

"Are you okay, Pen?" he murmurs. "What happened?"

I close my eyes, breathing in his scent. His comfort makes the next words come tumbling out of my mouth. "Patrick's dad isn't really his dad. That's why Ophelia's been so bitchy. She didn't want him to find out." I choke on my tears. "And now... now I want to go home. Back to Saanich. I need to get away from all this and sort out my thoughts."

"Hey!" Ophelia exclaims.

Behind me, I hear Jake shush her. She should know by now I'm lacking a filter at the moment. Besides, whenever I'm around Cassian, my heart seems to pour out. He's all I can focus on right now.

Frowning, Cassian glances at Ophelia. "Is that true?"

"Yes," Ophelia admits, looking ashamed. "I was trying to protect Patrick."

Cassian rolls his eyes and mutters something about how much he needs a smoke. Another hint I pick up on, through my drunken haze, is that his body is rigid. It doesn't take a genius to know why he's upset. He didn't want me to suffer from disappointment, and he's scared that's exactly what I'm dealing with now.

Truthfully, I am disappointed.

There have been so many twists and turns, I can't tell up from down. With this new revelation, Patrick and I's plan seems tiresome. We should meet with Renée and avoid Doug. If Ophelia is concerned about Doug's reaction, I will not take her warning lightly. When I considered finding my biological family, I didn't think the drama would amount to this. I never considered the betrayal or shock or underlying motives. It makes me sad to think I'm going to spring this news on Patrick. He'll be heartbroken.

"Wait," Jake says. "Hold on a second." He pinches the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut. "How are we going to tell him this?"

If there's anyone who can understand the importance of family, it's Jake. Patrick will lose the man he's seen as a father figure since childhood. The truth will blindside my brother; it'll rupture his already rocky relationship with his family.

Jake makes eye contact with me, a pained look in his eyes. He knows what it's like to lose someone you love. And this is almost worse. When Jake's parents died, they left him with wonderful memories; ones that couldn't be tainted. Patrick? Lies will taint his memories. Betrayal.

"I don't know!" Ophelia exclaims, sounding exasperated. "Hence the reason I was trying to keep it from him! Now, he's going to assume something's up."

"Wouldn't count on it," Cassian jokes. "Kid's drunk as a skunk."

The three of us glare at him. As much as I love Cassian and his sense of humour, there's no time for joking around. This is a serious topic we need to discuss. It's inevitable this will throw Patrick off, but it needs to be done properly. Somehow, we have to ease him into this.

"Christ," he murmurs, running a hand through his hair. "Tough crowd. I'm trying to lighten the mood, guys." He tightens his arms around my shoulders and expels a deep breath. It's hot against my skin, making me shiver. "I'll deal with this," Cassian continues. He glances at Ophelia. "You're going to tell me everything, O. Everything. And then we're going to sit down and solve the issue. Patrick deserves to know the truth. I'm sure you have a valid reason for keeping it, but the water will boil over if we don't solve this soon." He turns to me, resting his hands on my shoulders. "Jake will take you back to Saanich. Once Patrick knows, we'll meet you down there. I think that kid will want some time away from the Okanagan, just like you do. But he'll also need you."

"Cassian," I sniffle. "You don't have to take this on. It's not your problem."

He slides his hands until he's cupping my face. "Yes, I do," he argues. "You've dealt with enough shit. I'll make sure Patrick is eased into this topic." His mouth curves into a smile. "Whatever problems you face, Pen, are my problems, too. We'll tackle them together."

I'm worried Patrick will find my actions offensive. Maybe it isn't smart for me to leave. I should be offering him support—even if this overload of drama is making me feel like I'm choking.

"Cassian..."

He shushes me with a kiss. "He'll be fine, Pen. There's nothing wrong with wanting to get out of here. Your feelings are valid. If he has a problem with that, then I'll teach him a lesson. Go home, Pen. Go sit on your window seat and drink tea. Spend time with Gemma and Morgane. You've endured enough." His gaze flashes to Ophelia's, a spark of resentment in it. "You and I have a lot to discuss."

Ophelia turns in on herself and mutters something about the cold weather. Without a word of goodbye, she heads back to the winery, leaving me alone with Jake and Cassian. I watch as Ophelia trudges through the snow, feeling sympathetic for her. Her heart was in the right place, but she didn't act properly. The outcomes could've been different had she told someone; had she shared the burden truth carries. I hope Cassian isn't too hard on her.

Speaking of Cassian...

I stare up at him. "You don't have to do this. I can stay behind and help."

Cassian shakes his head, hugging me. "You're the strongest woman I know, Pen, but you don't deserve to be dragged into the middle when everything blows up. When the truth surfaces, Renée is the one who needs to make the first move. She needs to remedy the mistakes she's made with you and Patrick. Neither of you are at a fault."

To my left, I see Jake shift his weight from one foot to the other. I can't help but notice the pride on his face, either. It brings a smile to my face. There's no duo as dynamic as Jake and Cassian. They feed off of each other. Their positive traits shine when they're together. And instead of keeping those feelings exclusive, they make sure everyone around them feels that way. Which is why I nod in agreement. Although it takes two people to fix a relationship, Cassian has a point. My biological mother needs to build one with me. When Renée finds out who I am, it's her choice. I hope she knows I'm willing to try if she is.

"Okay," I nod. "Just... Just make sure Patrick knows I had no intention of ditching him, okay?"

Cassian kisses me again. "I'll make sure he understands, Pen. Besides, even if he's upset with you, it doesn't matter. Your feelings are valid. If you wanted to go to Mexico to an all-inclusive resort for a week to escape the drama, I wouldn't stop you." He reaches up and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "You don't have to justify your emotions."

On the edge of crying again, I pull Cassian into my arms and bury my face into his chest. "Thank you," I whisper.

He hugs me back so tight I'm gasping for air. "I'll see you soon, Pen. A couple of days, tops."

"Don't drive," I say. "I know plane tickets are expensive, but don't drive. With all this snow..." I trail off, hoping he sees my point. I couldn't bear the thought of him and Patrick dying in a car accident.

"I won't. I promise."

After we've said our goodbyes, Cassian announces he's going to deal with this shit show and follows Ophelia's fading footprints into the winery. I watch as his figure gets smaller and smaller until he's disappeared through the front doors.

"He's too good for this world," I say.

"Tell me about it," Jake replies. He slides his arm around my shoulder. "Come on, Nell. Let's get you home."

I lean my head against Jake's shoulder, taking a deep breath.

I'm ready to go home.