THE THOUGHTS THAT LAY ME TO SLEEP; ALSO KEEP ME AWAKE

His mind raced like a car on the track. He was the driver but the steering wheel was far from his grasp. To him, it doesn't make sense how everything can make him feel like he's about to crash. And in any given moment, the car he was driving could collapse and he could burn along with it. But truth be told, he wasn't even driving.

He was laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling for what seemed like hours but looking at the digital clock above his bedside table; it had only been the first hour of the endless overthinker's night. His throat was dry and he couldn't even bring himself to get up to fetch himself a glass of water.

In his mind though, it felt like he was walking under the heat of the desert sun; in search of an oasis that felt too unrealistic to exist. The thirst of answers to a never ending ray of what if's make it harder for him to move forward. He closed his eyes and when he opened them again, he was back in bed, drowning in his own sorrow only to realize that it was only the second hour that passed and still, he was not in slumber.

A few more hours passed and the bags under his eyes change to a darker hue of grey. He chuckled, struggling to keep himself on grip with reality as he stared at the clock ticking seconds, minutes, and the hours away. What has his life succumbed to? Why has his world revolved around staying awake by the same thoughts that drag his eyelids shut? Why was he bothered by the fact that the questions he had asked before were now slowly creeping behind him and keeping him hostage in his own head?

Why was it so hard to find the off switch for the thoughts that make it harder to breathe the more they add up--the more they don't make sense?

Why is it so hard to think?