19 missed calls from Jake Buckner

6 missed calls from Clara Merrell

4 missed calls from Veronica White

2 missed calls from annoying bitch

I sat by myself in some cafè near the hospital scrolling through my almost dead phone, texts and notifications went off every few seconds, forcing me to turn the phone in silent. Almost everyone had left the cafe except for several employees and cleaners making sure to inform me that they were about to close.

3% I'll scroll through Instagram, watch some videos,

2% I'll read the texts but won't reply,

1% I'll call Clara's and ask her to pick me up.

Phones dead, Clara picks me up, not talking to me for the whole journey so I myself stayed quite.

We arrived at a hostel, Clara payed for two rooms, a single and a double, I entered the room, Jake following slowly behind me, we forgot to bring pajamas so I went in my bra and underwear and Jake just in his underwear.

"Vaness-" he began,

"Jake, I don't know what happened earlier but you acted like an ass!" I shouted, "You acted a different person and you were horrible!"

"I know bu-" He tried saying,

"You were a bully" I bellowed, "I almost dumped you there and then!" I screamed,

"Shut up" a faint voice called from the room beside us.

"Nessa please, please forgive me, I don't know what came over me and I'll do anything for your forgiveness" he asked walking slowly up to me but I wasn't taking it,

"You were brutal" I almost teared up, "I thought you were the guy that saved my life?" I cried, "Nessa-"

"Let's just go to sleep and this will blow over soon" I said, wiping the tears from my face and getting into bed, Jake lay down beside me. I switched of the light and closed my eyes, I heard Jake pulling out his pills to help him sleep, "Don't, try and go to sleep" I whispered and as on command he placed the small container back in his bag. He reached over and squeezed my hand, "I'm sorry" he said quietly before letting go, I turned my back to him even though we were both freezing, this was gonna be a long night.

I heard him tossing and turning, he never told me why he couldn't sleep but at the moment I didn't care, he deserved a night with no sleep after what he did. I wasn't gonna sleep either cause he got me hooked on the sleeping pills, I forcefully turned around so that his and my face were only inches apart. "I wasn't gonna kiss him you know that right?" I whispered getting his acusion off my back, "Yes, I thought he was gonna kiss you" he replied quietly, "Why do you care? You've never properly kissed me" I answered waiting for his response, I watched as he leaned in, his lips slowly brushing off of mine, our lips moved in sinch as we inched closer together. "I love you" he managed to say, I paused, suddenly moving backwards, shocked "no one's ever said that to me before" I whispered, "I fucking love you" he chuckled, "I love you too" I giggled.

I woke up abruptly from a horrible dream, Jake stood at the bathroom doorway brushing his teeth, he obviously made a trip to some shop cause we didn't pack anything. "You alright?" He asked toothpaste foaming up his mouth, "yeah just a bad dream" I smiled, he handed me a pink toothbrush as I started brushing my teeth, "did you dream about losing your followers" he laughed, toothpastes dripping down his chin,

We packed our very limited items and met Clara outside, "Hello" I smiled, holding Jakes hand tightly, There was a silent journey back to the airport our plane was delayed, that's why we stayed the extra night.

I had news for both Jake and Clara, I wasn't going back to Maine or California, I was headed on a direct flight to Florida, I assumed Jake would drive back to LA and Clara would be cool with it but that's what I thought.

We reached the airport and I told both of them, suddenly they both wanted to come, Jake put his foot down and refused to allow me to travel alone, Clara insisted that she be the one to meet her daughter, I don't mind Jake coming cause you know I love him and all but I would have hated if if she came in out of the blue, "Clara... I know you're her birth mom but let her do what I did, let her come out to meet you, Don't force it on her" I tried convincing her but she wasn't having any of it, "Clara, Mom... that isn't the right thing to do!" She stood back and regretfully agreed, Jake and I went and returned his ticket for a different one, we had a few hours before our plane came so we said our goodbyes to Clara for now.

We had time to spare so we went and got breakfast at ihop, I was in the middle of my milkshake when I received a FaceTime call, Jacobs face appeared taking up the full screen, "Hi Jacob, how are you?" I asked confused because no one in my family had a iPhone except the one I have Becca but she texted me off of Karen's phone saying she broke up. "Hello!" He said in a goofy face, smiling into the camera, "What are you calling me off?" I laughed at his funny faces,

"I'm at Daddy's, he got us an iPad to share!" He screamed in excitement, "Oh so 'mommy' and 'daddy' don't live together?" I smugged, "not now and Rebecca and Charlie aren't happy but I love it!" He giggled showing the iPad in the mirror, "Daddy also got me a PlayStation 4 for my birthday last week because I'm four" he said showing my four fingers, "and mommy got me a small tv lego set!" showing me his new stuff, shit it was his birthday.

"Don't worry my present is in the mail" I lied, since when do Karen and John have this much money? "So how do you have my number?" I smiled, happy to see him,

"I stole it off of Daddy's phone" he giggled thinking it was a crime, "ohhhhhhh, guess where we are?" I asked bringing up more conversation. "Where!?"

"iHop" I laughed turning the camera to face Jake, "who's that" Jacob whispered shyly, "I'm Jake, our names are pretty similar isn't that cool" he laughed, "is that your boyfriend?" Jacob giggled nervously, ignoring Kakes statement, "Yes I'm her boyfriend" Jake smiled.

We talked for a while until Jacob decided he was bored so ended without a goodbye.

"We should get going, our flights in an hour and a half" Jake said getting up to pay, "you don't need to pay, let's go halves" I offered but he refused, "let's consider it's a date with an interrupted third wheel" he laughed, "oh yeah I better order him something. As we got into the Uber a placed an order for something better than both Karen and Johns presents just to annoy them, I placed an order for a 13 foot trampoline to Karen's house and a cool ready made fort thing for Johns, money wasn't a problem for me, I was t linked to either John or Karen's account, before I was adopted the government made a bank for me and lodged a bit of money, the rest is savings and competition prizes, I despised gymnastics but the winner of the competitions would win like 200$ and they entered me in a lot, Also I had a card that could allow me to purchase stuff from Karen and John's account but I wanted this gift to be from me.

We reached the airport and Jake looked exhausted, "take a pill on the plane" I told him, he had his permit, allowing him to take the pills in a carry on seeming that we didn't have a big bag for cargo.

At long last we boarded the plane, I used Karen's cars to pay for the flight, I knew her card number off by heart and her pin is literally 1234, how dumb is she? I was gonna go first class but instead I just went business, what? I know this was only a two and a half hour flight but I would like some foot space. We found our seats and received plenty of foot area, I pulled back the recliner to see what it was like and it was glorious, I pushed it back and made Jake take a pill as soon as the plane lifted off, it was very strong so he took barley even a quarter and he was out like a light.

I payed for WiFi which turned out to be shit but what could I expect? I watched some YouTube, mostly Ryan Higa but the flight felt as if it was dragging on. I got bored of my phone so I pulled out my diary.

Hey it's Hannah, Hannah baker,

Ha, nah I've just always wanted to write that. Ok sorry^

I almost scribbled our what I wrote until I just stopped caring about how cringe I was.

I'm on a flight, a flight to Florida to meet my sister. I've always wanted a sibling around the same age as me, Rebecca was 8 years younger than me, that was 8 years of my life spent in complete quietness and peacefulness, then there was Charlie that I liked a little and when I turned 14 there came little Jacob who was by far my favorite because he didn't talk and he slept in Charlie's from which was downstairs so I didn't hear him cry, there were odd times where he'd sleep in my room cause Charlie needed some sleep, anyway back to the point.

Jakes our like a light beside me with the recliner up and everything, there's still like an hour and a half left and I'm not bothered to watch anymore youtube cause the WiFi is down right shit.

I put down my pen and was about to put my diary down as well but I decided to read a bit of it just to torture myself.

'School now is the only thing I have keeping me happy.' Well times have changed I thought,

'I mean it's not like anyone will believe her stories anyway they're all weirdly obsessed with me.' Self obsession?

'I knew karen was just pissed at me cause I was just so flawless' wow I'm sooooooo funny I laughed sarcastically

'In my 18 years of living I've finally found memories worth remembering' now that's true.

I was next to the window so I spent at least 20 minutes staring outside until the food cart finally came "Hello ma'am would you like any refreshments or snacks?" The flight assistant asked nicely, "Yes may I have a two bottles of water and... peanuts and a... bag of Doritos please" I asked handing him a twenty dollar note and waited for my food and change.

I binged watched the first few episodes of freakish, addicted to the makeup and special effects, the food was practically gone and crumbs were left everywhere, "pig" jake laughed obviously waking up, "What? That was only a light refreshment before the actual food" I giggled pulling out another bag of chips, popcorn and a sandwich, "No, this is the snack" I laughed handing him a bottle of unopened water as we dug in.

"Hello ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of the captain and the rest of the crew we'd like to thank you for flying with us, it's been a lovely flight and we will be landing shortly, about 20 minutes" the intercom buzzed. "Cheap plane" Jake laughed, finishing his water, "hey I was on a budget" I giggled, "Are you nervous?" He asked seriously, I nodded as my throat swelled up and my eyes stung with held back tears. He pulled me in for a hug, this was usually the time where I'd break down in tears but I was too frozen with fear to shed a tear, my heart was racing and my stomach was uneasy, maybe it's the plane? Or that I ate too much? No, I don't want to do this anymore.

"Jake get me off this flight" I panicked, trying to unbuckle but I was shaking too much, "Vanessa calm down, we're almost there" he tried to reassure me but I wasn't having it, "Jake!" I cried, tears now rushing down my cheeks, it got to a point where he had to hold my hands down so I wouldn't break free, "we were separated for a reason!" I sobbed, anxiety taking over my body. I shut my eyes and kept them closed, I blocked out Jakes voice and the flight attendant who was asking if I was ok, I tried as hard as I could to be back in LA, away from all of this, but that would mean I'd have to see the annoying bitch... which scenario is better?

Tears continuously streamed down my cheeks as I curled up in the large chair, I felt useless, I went silent so Jake and the flight attendant would leave me alone but Jake wasn't having it. I don't know what's wrong with me! Most of the time I feel fine, like a human, but sometimes a part of me wishes me to be gone, gone from the face of the planet, away from my constant worries and struggles, away from my emotions.

Forgotten.

(Thanks so much for reading<3 hope u enjoyed and I'll defiantly post another chapter straight after this cause I've pretty much finished writing this book, that just shows how often I updateXD)