I can't take the subzero burn happening in my house anymore. It's uncomfortable—in fact, it's downright unlivable. Every second I struggle to breathe. It's like my lungs are coated in ice. I wish I knew what to do. These are my parents. Aren't they supposed to be the ones who have it all together? Why do I feel like I'm the adult in this family, and they're the kids? -Freddy aka Alex

"No, no, no!" Randy yelled. A subtle sheen of sweat covered his brow as he marched up the stage. "I want you to do this." He demonstrated the choreography, exaggerating the movement for Alexx. She gave a brisk nod, clenching her teeth as Randy muttered, "Get it right or get off my stage." 


Alexx knew the move. She'd practiced it over and over again in front of the mirror at home, but she was off. Her whole performance was off. Not only was she messing up her steps, but she was forgetting her lines and hitting the wrong notes as she belted out those big musical numbers. She could practically see her understudy's mouth foaming in anticipation. 


She swatted away a strand of hair that had fallen out of her bun and into her face. Mouth pinched, she executed the move with determined steps. 

"You're a dancer, not an elephant!" Randy said, throwing his arms out. 

Irritation boiled in her veins. She knew who and what she was. She was fudging Alexxandria Lorde. The best triple threat this theater had ever seen. Eyes sparking, she threw her shoulders back and danced across the stage with a fluidity that would have put a prima donna to shame.  

"Finally," Randy muttered. "You should have done that the first time instead of wasting our time. Everyone, do the whole number again and no one," he glanced meaningfully at Alexx, "better mess up."

Wiping the sweat out of her eyes, Alexx took her spot at stage right while the rest of the ensemble was at stage left. Music drifted over the loudspeakers, and the dancers began twirling across the stage. Alexx held her place until the music swelled. That was her cue. Smiling for the pretend audience, she lifted her head and began performing the intricate sequence. 


"What was that?" Randy yelled, snapping his fingers at her. "Do. It. Again!" 


Alexx's molars clenched as she pivoted and re-took her place. 


***


"That was a hard one, huh?" Hugo asked as the street lights whizzed by them. His tone was light, but she could hear the concern lurking. 

She grunted, not wanting to talk about it. "Can we stop and get something to eat?" Getting shouted at for five hours worked up a girl's appetite. 


"Sure. What do you want?"


She covered her stomach with an arm as it let out an impressive growl. "Anything as long as it's edible." 

Nodding, Hugo moved to the far right and made an about-turn. She let out a small, happy sigh as he pulled into her favorite fast food place. Best brother ever. They ordered at the drive-thru—a double cheeseburger, fries, chocolate shake, and a triple chocolate chunk cookie for her—and then pulled up to the pick-up window.


"You're not getting anything?" she asked.

He shook his head. "I have plans later. I'll eat then."

Something in his voice made her stomach feel funny. "With who?"


"Friends." 


"Which friends? Arlo?" she questioned.


"No," he said slowly, deep lines bracketing his mouth. "What's with the third degree?"

She shrugged, trying to squash the suspicion rising. "Just wondering." 

"What's up with you? You've been weird all week," Hugo said. 


Her initial reaction was to deny, but Hugo would see right it. Instead, she leaned back and put her elbow on the door and rested her head on her palm. Sinking her fingers through her hair, she mumbled, "Tired, I guess. Worried about the play."


"About your performance?"

"That and how everything will come together. It's less than three weeks until the curtain opens."


Hugo gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "We'll pull it off. We always do." 

The fast-food worker slid the window open and handed over the bag of food. As Hugo drove home, Alexx ripped open her burger and began devouring it in big bites. She hummed in satisfaction, washing it down with big gulps of her shake. They had the best burgers. She and Alex used to—

Her stomach pitched to her feet as the image of Alex's and Ravi's lips locking together flashed in her mind. A cruel burn ripped down her throat. Why? Why had her best friend betrayed her? Ravi's actions had hurt but not as much as Alex's. Alex knew better. She understood what Alexx had gone through with Cleo and her mom. 

Her appetite fled as her stomach turned queasy. She tossed her half-eaten burger and fries in the bag and dropped it on the car floor. Hugo glanced over. "Everything okay?"

She rubbed her stomach, glancing out the window. "Not hungry anymore." 


A long pause filled the car, sucking up all the oxygen. Hugo cleared his throat. "Did something happen with Freddy?"

The nickname was a dagger straight through the heart. They were supposed to be Fred and George. Best friends. Inseparable. It's what they promised in their notebooks, and promises were meant to be kept. Anger and grief swirled around her. 

"Georgie?" Hugo prodded. 

Her fingers dug into the seat cushion as a dull thudding pain crept up her neck to her temples. "Don't call me that. It's not my name." Not anymore.

Hugo's eyebrows shot to his hairline. "So there is something wrong. What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it." 

"Georgie—" At her sharp look, he amended, "Alexx, did you and—"

She vehemently shook her head, wincing as the pain intensified. "Not now Hugo. Just not...not now." 

The gentle pleading in her tone made him zip it and drive the rest of the trip in silence. When they got home, she slid her shoes off and chucked them the side, not caring where they landed. 

"That's a first," Seth murmured from his spot on the floor where he laid sprawled out on his stomach. Across from him, lay Arlo, propped up on his elbows with a fierce look of concentration as he stared at the Chinese Checkerboard that sat between them. "Does this mean the shoe dictator is officially dead?"

"I'm not a shoe dictator," Alexx muttered. 


"Princess here is an organization dictator," Arlo chimed in. "Distinct difference."


"Oh, shut it," Alexx told him as she rubbed her temple. She heard Hugo come in and turned away so he couldn't see the pain flashing across her face as the door slammed behind him. "Why are you here?" she asked Arlo. "Where's my dad?" He promised to go over her lines with her after practice. 

Arlo moved a red checker across the board. "He's stuck on a case. Couldn't get away, so he called me to babysit the kid." 

Seth stuck out his tongue. "I'm not a kid."

Alex pulled out her phone. No messages from him. "Did he say when he'll be finished?"

Arlo shook his head. "Sorry, Princess."

Sighing, Hugo toed his shoes off and tossed them to the side as well. "You should know better by now, Georgie—I mean, Alexx. Dad's first love is work." 

"But he promised." She'd even sent him a text this morning to confirm and another a follow-up text later in the afternoon to remind. 

Hugo scoffed and held out her forgotten burger, fries, and shake. "Since when did that mean anything?"


She snatched it out his hand. "Never mind." Alexx marched to her room and threw the food onto her desk, fries spilling out. 


Promises meant something. Her dad and Alex might have forgotten that, but she hadn't. Marching over, Alexx threw open her closet door. Kneeling, she pulled out the box hidden in the back and ripped off the cover. Colorful notebooks stared back. Taunting. 

She randomly chose one and opened to the first page. 

We promise: 

1. To never reveal the secrets shared within these pages to a single soul even if our crushes (Hugo and Ravi) beg to know or threaten to break up with us if we don't tell. 

2. To always be honest, even if that honesty means hurting another person.

3. To never go more than three days without writing in it. No excuses, ie. Papers due or test coming up 


4. To never let it get in the hands of someone else. No exceptions. Not even to our other friends. 


5. To be best friends till the day we die, or the zombie apocalypse comes—in that case, every girl for herself. 

Promises, Alexx thought as she slammed the words shut, were easy to make. Just not so easy to keep. 

Stomach knotted, she dumped the notebooks into a tote bag and put it beside her door. Tomorrow, she'd give them to her former best friend. She could do whatever she wanted with them as long as they were out of Alexx's sight. 

She swiped a couple of fries from her desk and angrily munched on them. She almost bit off her tongue when her phone beeped. 


Sloane: You okay? 


What the fudge. Was she wearing a perfume that gave off a wounded prey vibe? She tempered her irritation, reminding herself at least she had a friend—a true friend— who cared. 

Alexx: Yeah, I'm good. Just a difficult practice, you know? 

Sloane: You were off. 


Well, gee, way to be subtle, Sloane. 

Sloane: Is it because of the one Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named?

Her insides prickled. Sloane was one of her best friends, but every time Alexx started typing, the prickles intensified. It wasn't that she didn't trust Sloane. She did, but this felt too personal like she was ratting Alex out. 


Sloane: I know something happened with her. Did she do or say something? 


Three dots blinked as Alexx typed and deleted, typed and deleted. 


Sloane: You can tell me. You know I won't say anything. 


Alexx: Not even to Bri?


Sloane: I'm not a snitch.


She imagined Sloane's lips curled up as she said it with her nose scrunched and her eyes as hard as diamonds. 


Alexx: You tell her everything.


Sloane: I know how to keep a secret.


Still, something inside of Alexx made her hesitate. 

Alexx: It's not that I don't trust you...


Sloane: Wow. Just wow. Have you been dipping into a forgetfulness potion recently? 

Sloane: I'm the one who stuck with you when Cleo bailed. I'm the one ate ice cream with you and pretended not to hear you cry in the middle of the night during sleepovers after your mom left. 


Guilt struck her like an arrow. Sloane had done all that, plus more. She'd been the one to send funny gifs and youtube videos when Alexx was down or would surprise her with cookies or brownies before school. 


Sloane: You know what? Screw you, Alexx. Screw you for doubting the one person who has never given you a single reason, unlike your precious best friends. Because that's what it comes down to, right? Your BFF's. First, Cleo and now, Alex. 

Sloane: You wonder why I'm tight with Bri and tell her everything? Because Bri cares. She's there when I need her. Not just when she needs me. 


The words made her skin flush. Sure, it sounded terrible laid out, but there was more to the situation than what Sloane was saying. Bri and Sloane had always been a pair. There was some unspoken bond that tied them more tightly together than with Alexx. At times, it made her feel like the third wheel, but she never held it against them. She got it—she truly did—because she felt that bond with Cleo and Alex. So for Sloane to make it seem like she wasn't a good friend was ridiculous. And honestly, it made her blood simmer. 

Tired of her so-called friends, Alexx turned off her phone and buried it under the pillows. If only it were winter break. Then she could hide away and not see anyone for a good month. 

There was a knock on her door. 

"Who is it?" she asked. 


"Your favorite superhero." 


She groaned. "More like favorite villain. What do you want, Arlo?" 


The door cracked open, and he poked his head in. All she could see was his thick mop of black hair and piercing eyes."Your frustration is creating such a thick fog I can't find my way out of the house."

She gave him a snarky look. "I'll be happy to show you the door." 

Arlo stepped in and pushed the door until it was almost closed. Butterflies erupted when she realized they'd never been in her room alone before. Her brothers had always been with him. 

She fingered her bun, making sure nothing stood up at a weird angle, then scooted toward the edge of her bed. Her gaze flickered around. No underwear lying around or embarrassing photos. She took a small whiff and couldn't detect any weird odors. Thank goodness she'd washed her sheets yesterday. 

Arlo made his way over to her desk, his long legs making her room seem tiny, and stole the remaining fries. 

"You can have the burger too," she told him. "I'm not hungry anymore." 

"Thanks," he said, the burger already halfway in his mouth. It amazed her how much boys could pack away. It was an endless garbage disposal. 

"Eat it on your way out."


But instead of leaving, he pulled out her chair and straddled it with the back facing his chest. He rested his arms across the top and gave her a long, meaningful look. 


She let out a silent sigh. "If you're here to ask if I'm okay, save it." 


"I didn't say anything."

His eyes spoke as loud as her great aunt Edith without her hearing aids. "Can you just not? I'm tired. I've had a long day." 


"I thought you were gonna practice more?"

Arms crossed over her chest as her face gave way to a mulish expression. "Yeah, well, my dad isn't here, is he?"


He finished the burger and formed the wrapper into a ball, throwing it onto her desk. Wiping his hands on his jeans, he asked, "Where's your script?"

"In my bag. Why?"

"Go get it." 

"No." 

"Your whole nose-stuck-in-the-air thing is cute, princess, but I only have an hour, so shelve the spoiled act, and get your script."

Her shoulders went back as her spine stiffened, but before she could work her way into a good and proper rant, Arlo rolled his eyes and went over to her bag. He rummaged around and pulled out the script. Jumping onto her bed, he scooted until his back hit her headboard. "Which scenes did you want to go over?"

Caught between disbelief and confusion, Alexx murmured, "Act one. Scene five."

Crossing his legs, Arlo flipped to the page and motioned for her start. 


Stumped, Alexx just stared at him. "Are you serious?" Maybe this was some sort of prank. She'd start her monologue, and then he'd pull an Ashton Kutcher. 

"Tick tock, princess." 

He appeared serious. Maybe this wasn't a prank. 


Biting her lip, Alexx decided to just go for it. She took the stage, or in this case, the middle of her room and closed her eyes. Taking in a deep breath, she cast away all thoughts of Alex, Ravi, Sloane, and her dad out of her mind. This wasn't about them. This was about Maria and the play. 

Opening her eyes, she began her lines, pulling strength from Maria's conviction. She would survive this.

She was a Lorde, after all.

It's what they did.