ALEX'S POV

"Did you know that your brother was a murderer?"

Oh, God, what's wrong with me? I've never been good at social interractions, but this is a whole new level of socially akward.

"Huh, so, Malik, it's getting cold. Let's head inside, shall we?" I stammer, but of course he grabs my wrist before I can even think of moving away from him.

"You're not going anywhere" he all but growls, something I would have find sexy under different circumstances.

"You can't force me to do anything" I snap back and try to wiggle out of his grasp, but to no avail.

He's getting mad. I can't believe that a mere minutes ago, he was still playing and cuddling with Orion, a delighted smile on his face. Of course, I had to open my big mouth and ruin everything. Maybe I should have stayed in my wolf form forever. I'm sure our relationship would be much more simple and peaceful if Orion was taking over.  Plus, everybody likes him. Unlike me, he's sweet, affectionate and playful. 

To my greatest surprise,  Malik eventually releases me and I take a step back, not sure if he's actually letting me go or if it's a trick. 

Except, Malik doesn't trick people. He always tells what's on his mind and prefers to openly confront someone rather than act behind their back. Funny thing that he turned out to be your mate, because he and you are the complete opposites. Maybe the reason why you don't trust people easily is because of your own unthrustworty personnality. You've already betrayed your best friend, and now you are plotting against your mate's brother without even him knowing. A traitor you are, a traitor you will remain. What is bred in the bones will come out in the flesh, as the saying goes.

I start feeling uncomfortable as he keeps looking at me intently without saying anything. He looks even more handsome when he is angry, his cheeks turning a light pink while his eyes are blazing with a dormant fury.

"Why aren't you restraining me anymore?"

He snorts at my - I realise it now - weird question, although he doesn't look amused in the slightest.

"You're not five anymore, Alex. I believe that for once, you'll talk to me instead of running away like a scared little bunny. I understand that it's difficult for you to open up to people, but you just claimed that my brother was a murderer. Were you really planning to leave me wondering why the fuck you would say such a horrible thing ? He's my family, for Christ's sake! Try to put yourself in my shoes, for once. I'm tired of playing the nanny for you all the time."

He's tired of me. I'm not boyfriend material, which is the reason why I never really had a boyfriend before Malik. I smile grimly at that - the only reason he's with me is because I'm his mate. All I do is whining and let him confort me without giving anything in return. I'm useless. More trouble than I'm worth. He deserves more than that and as much as I wish to remain by his side for ever and a day, I want him to be happy.

Maybe he didn't really mean it. I think he's just saying that because he is angry, my wolf whispers, but I shake my head in negation. I'm happy and relieved that Orion is back, but I forgot his nasty habit to suggercoat everything for me. Of course, Malik meant everything he just said, why wouldn't he? He was just stating facts.

I blink furiously when I feel the tears threatening to spill. Malik already has enough on his plate. No need for me to show him how deeply his words cut, I decide, as I look at him from the corner of my eyes, taking in his now anxious expression. 

"You're right, I'm sorry for being so selfish. I didn't want to tell you like this, but I did plan to let you know at some point. I didn't want to keep things hidden from you but I was scared of your reaction. I will tell you everything now"

He nods, motionning for me to speak as he sits back on the ground. I imitate him and sit a bit further away, as it is clear that he doesn't want me anywhere near him right now. I know I deserve it, but in a moment like this, not being in his arms makes everything even harder. I wish I could climb on his laps. I like it when he has his hands on my hip and upper back and I can hide my face in his chest. It makes me feel loved. Protected.

"Talk"

And so I do. 

I tell him everything, from the first time I overheard Serena and Juliette talk about the Ceremony, to the day when they enlightened me about what happens behind the scene on this very special day. I also share Serena's plan about Killian, because I have a feeling that keeping the slightest thing hidden from him on that topic would be a terrible idea.

I talk at a very quick pace, trusting my mate to catch up with everything I say. He's used to me talking very quickly, so it shouldn't be a problem for him. My grandmother used to tell me all the time to "slow down, you don't have a train to catch". As I grew up, I managed to have a bit more control over my speech rate, but whenever I feel very stressed, like I do now, it's very hard for others to understand what the hell I'm even talking about. 

Actually, I once heard myself talking in a video someone took without me noticing. Not only did it made me cringe at how stupid I sounded, I also couldn't understand a shit of what I was saying. Was that akward, lanky boy really me? 

Since then, I've felt bad for all the persons who had to stay extra focused every time I was saying something. 

"I see"

I jump at the sound, and instinctively look up at Malik. I've finished talking for a while now, and I was trying to distract myself with insignificant thoughts. I didn't look at my mate once the whole time I was recounting what happened between me and Serena. 

I don't know what I expected, but certainly not for my mate to sport a calm, almost pensive expression. I hope he understood everything I've said. Maybe he's in denial and he thinks I was talking about someone else? 

Maybe his quiet face is the last stage before hell breaks loose?

God, I think I would even prefer for him to look murderous, because at least I would know what to expect. I don't have a single clue of what's going on in this amazing brain of his right now.

After everything he told me, I know he loves his family dearly. He already lost his mother in horrible circumstances, and here I go, casually telling him that his beloved big brother might be a bloodthirsty creature - no pun intended.

I knew I would have to tell him eventually, but still, I can't believe I am the one to bring fresh  pain to my mate. He's so brave. I don't know how he managed to go on after everything that has happened to him. The most precious person was ripped away rom him at a very young age and he still has so much love to give. 

One would be blind not to see that Malik is a kind Master, a loving son, grandson and brother.

To me he's also the perfect mate and don't start with your "nobody is perfect" bullshit. He's been very accepting when he found out about me being a werewolf, and he has been by my side from the beginning, always worrying about my mental well-being. 

He's beautiful, from the inside out.

"I love you"

We both gasp at the same time, after these three little words leave my mouth without my permission. 

A new line to add to my "Times when I really had the worst timing ever" list. Great. Just brillant, Alex.

His expression softens for a few seconds, and he looks like he's about to say something, but then he just sighs and looses himself in the contemplation of the sky instead.

Of course, he won't say the words back. What were you thinking, Alex? No, stupid question, since you clearly weren't thinking about anything.

"So, huh, won't you say anything?" I eventually mumble.

I start scratching at my wrist in a nervous gesture, and for a second he looks like he's about to reach for me, but instead he shrugs and asks:

"About what?"

"You're serious? About what's the weather's like today, and what you think we'll have for dinner tonight, of course. I'm talking about everything I've just said to you, Mister Obvious"

His eyes darken and he gives me a warning scowl. In normal times, my ass would already be bright red. Or maybe he would have come out with another punishment, since he knows that I don't mind him spanking me in the slightest.

Wait, what? Did I just imply that -

"- that you love to be spanked, yeah. You're even more kinky than I am" my wolf snorts, making me hiss at him. 

"I don't know what to tell you, except that I now have the confirmation of how naive you are. You're very easy to manipulate, Alex, and it's a dangerous thing. I'm worried about you"

"Wh- what are you talking about?"

"Once upon a time, a fine young vampire had an affair with a beautiful and smart witch. They were happy at the beginning, then they started fighting more and more often, most of the time over petty things. They broke up by mutual agreement, but it turned out that the vampire was agreeing more strongly than the witch, who had wanted a happy ever after. The story would have been fairly common, had the witch also turned the page and moved on. 

She thought their break-up was only temporary, and not even a week later she started trying to win him back, but to no avail. When she found out she was pregnant, she thought that the vampire would want her back, and hell broke loose when it turned out that it wasn't the case. Disgusted by the witch's clinginess, he told her firmy that he didn't want her in his life, and that as far as he was concerned, the baby wasn't his.

Now, the witch was certainly too pushy, but the vampire had his fair share of responsability in the whole disaster that ensued. Being an unmarried mother at that time was hard, even more so when a lot of villagers suspected that the witch was different from most women. They decided to hang her for witchcraft, but fortunately she managed to flee with her daughter before they arrived at her house. 

She lived a hard life, as she was very poor and had to take care of her child. The vampire, who wasn't entirely heartless, found out about her misery and took her and her child on the Island where he was living with his family, on the condition that she hides her magical powers and never tells a soul about him being the father of the child. 

She wasn't feeling grateful, something I can understand but she left him alone for a long time and focused on taking care of her daughter while being the best employee. She worked so hard that she was promoted Head of the Staff in no times. 

The vampire thought that there were no hard feelings , although from time to time the witch still  threw snarky remarks his way. 

This relatively peaceful atmosphere shattered the day the vampire brought a woman on the Island, and declared that they wanted to get married. Since that day, the witch became more and more agressive toward him, to the point that other persons started to notice something was off. It is told that she even found a naive soul to help her accomplish her dark schemes."

I blush at his last sentence, trying hard to pretend I am not aware that he is referring to me, before telling him in a weak voice:

"I - I didn't know that Serena and Killian had a common history"

He gives me a tight smile, one that obviously doesn't reach his eyes. 

"That's putting it lightly. I have to admit that I also found out about it a few days ago. I noticed Serena looking at Killian more and more often, with a somehow hateful expression, and I confronted my brother about it. He told me everything. Can't believe how the persons I love the most keep hiding things from me"

My head is spinning, too many thoughts spiralling into my brain at the same time. How comes I've never questioned anything that Serena and Juliette said to me? 

The truth is, I wanted to protect my own kind, without involving Malik in what could only have a terrible ending. 

"M-Malik, are you saying that Juliette - is actually Serena's daughter."

"Indeed."

"But they both look so young!"

"Being able to use magic has its perks, I guess"

I nod at that, before biting my lips and finally finding the courage to ask the question that matters the most to me, in a shaky voice:

"Dd do you - do you think you can... that one day... you'll eventually...forgive me?"

This time, he reaches out for me, cupping my face to force me to look at him in the eyes. The need to cry is even harder than before now, because I've done nothing to deserve such a gentle mate. His next words have my whole boddy stiffen, though.

"Although in the end you came to me, you did betray my trust by keeping such an important information from me, Alex. You are still my mate and I still want you by my side, but I need a little time to process everything. I will come to you once I am calmer, and we will talk about it. Until then, I'll try to think of a smooth way to get rid of Serena. I've never been to fond of violence, but I know how dangerous she can be."

I nod without blinking. I've stopped listening after he said I betrayed him. 

See, some people never learn. I betrayed Kyle, you would think I would have learned my lesson. Well, I didn't, because this is who I am - a traitor. While Malik has a rich and complex personality, I think mine could be summed up in a word. 

Traitor. 

If I had only betrayed Kyle, maybe, with time, I would have eventually forgive myself a little, but this is now impossible. I've done it twice and even my mate, who is a very fair and considerate person, admitted that he felt betrayed.

For the first time in years, I have to resist the temptation to find a place to hide and cut. 

I thought I was doing better at managing my emotions, but it always comes to that in the end. It doesn't matter whether I'll really do it or not, nor does it matter that I've never cut myself really deep in the past, I now hate myself for even considering it. It proves that I'm a weak creature, on top of being a traitor. Maybe I can't better myself and will spend my entire existence falling back again and again in the same abysses. 

What was the saying I was previously referring to? 

Oh, yeah - what's bred in the bones will come out in the flesh. 

The irony of it. Good thing the scars on my right thigh have now almost completely faded.

A/N: 

I actually really like Serena, she has a strong personality, so I don't want anything too bad to happen to her, not sure what I will do ^^

Sad chapter, I know. I feel bad for both Alex and Malik, to be honest, although Alex really needs to learn how to communicate. 

Thoughts?? :D

Sending you positive vibes for the week to come xxx