Trigger-warning. Implied mentions of rape.

ALEX'S POV

"Oh Alex, did I tell you what Rim did today? You won't believe it! She bit on Nate's nipple, after realizing she couldn't drink milk from him! Oh, she might not have teeth yet but apparently it was still a bit painful. You should have seen him rubbing his sore nipple and yelling at me to feed 'the little monster'. It was way too funny. Isn't she the best? She's good at picking up targets, too."

"Your daughter is just perfect!" I agree easily. "I have yet to meet her but the more you tell me about her, the more I like her!"

"I know, right! She's not even a few weeks old but she's already making her daddy Kyle so proud"

I laugh a bit at that, amused by his antics, before asking him in my most innocent voice

"So, Kylie, I take it you've been breastfeeding her?"

"Don't call me that and I - yeah" he mumbles.

I smirk a bit at that. Although I can't see him, I'm positive he's blushing.

"Aw, I knew it! That's so hot!"

"Shut up, Alex! You're reminding me of my perverted mates now right now! They enjoy fondling my swollen nipples way too much"

"Ugh, too much information, pal! I was just teasing you! Have you no decency?"

"Serves you right! Don't ask questions if you can't handle the responses, you cheeky prude!"

We tease each other a bit longer, before he tells me he has to go to relieve Darren, who has been taking care of a crying Rim since dawn.

I stay in bed a bit longer, although I know I should get up now, before Serena barges in and reminds me of my duties in a none too pleasant manner.

Mindlinking with Kyle always leaves me a bittersweet feeling. I am ecstatic that we are talking more and more often, but at the same time, the fact that I can't see him yet is a constant reminder of what I have done.

I know that he wants to see me again, but that his mates are less enthusiastic at the idea. I can't say I blame them but still, at times like these, I just wish I had a friend I could spend time with. Of course, now that I have Malik in my life, I don't feel as lonely as I used to, but still, Malik has been very busy lately and I've been trying to give him some space.

It's been harder and harder to fight back my instincts to jump on him and cling to him like a koala everytime I pass him in the corridor. I want to kiss him and show the world he's mine, especially when he is surrounded by male servants.

I refrain myself. Barely. Nobody knows about us, although I can hear others whispering behind my back. They think I can't hear them but I do. I am a werewolf, after all. Everyone noticed my absence. Then they saw Malik and I coming back together. It's not that hard to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Even his family  know that something's up, although Malik told me they didn't ask him any questions, apart from his nosey brother.

Vampires aren't the most talkative persons, after all.

However, they might not know that we are fated. Maybe they think I'm just a fling.

Thinking about this word is enough to make my chest hurt.

The only good think is that Malik is now so busy he doesn't ask me all the time to please talk to someone. He means a shrink, of course.

Why should I ? I mean, I am talking to him. That's enough, right? I told him about Adrien, Kyle, and what I did. Not in so many words, but I gave him the general picture.

There are important things that I left unsaid, like the things that Adrien did to me. The problem is, I don't know exactly what he did to me, so how can I even talk about it? I know that it hurt, I remember crying, I remember everything about this day, but I don't remember saying no to him, and that's what bothers me.

I didn't say no.

I didn't say stop.

Why didn't I say any of those words?

There's one person I told about it: a stranger in a pub, a few years ago. Pitiful, I know. I was so lonely that my drunk self thought it was a good idea to share my most intimate memories with a total stranger.

The guy was sympathetic, but he did say in the end that he would have never let someone do that to him.

"You're a big guy, right? Why didn't just tell him off?"

That's what he said to me. It made me feel even worst. Why didn't I say no? It's not like Adrien could read my thoughts.

I don't know what happened to me. I don't want to say I was raped, because Adrien isn't a rapist. He is a sweet guy, most of the time at least, he's a caring dad and a great leader. How could he be a rapist?

I'm really fucked up.

Someone bangs at the door and I jump in fright, thinking it's Serena. When the door slowly opens and I am met with a loving pair of brown eyes instead, I immediately relax.

"Alex, baby? Why are you still in bed? Are you feeling unwell?"

I close my eyes in content when I feel his cold hands on my forehead, checking that I don't have any fever.

He only has to touch me to make all the pain go away, even if it's just for a short moment.

He's wearing casual clothes today, his red sweater that looks so good on him, plus an old pair of jeans. He looks even younger than usual, carrying with him an air of poise and self-confidence that I've rarely seen in other people.

"Are you not working today? Does it mean we can hang out?" I ask him, unable to keep my excitement out of my voice.

He sighs, before gently carding his hand through my hair.

"I'm sorry, Alex. I can't today, I've promised Rose I would go with her in town to visit one of our cousin. She kept reminding me that we don't spend as much time together as we used to, and I felt too guilty not to agree to go with her. The worst thing is, I don't even like my cousin Joshua."

I laugh a bit at that, trying my hardest not to let my disappointment show, but my mate isn't one to be easily fooled, especially after I lied to him about Lucas. Since then, he became very good at reading my expressions.

"Don't give me that sad smile, baby boy. I don't want you to hide how you feel. If you're feeling unhappy, then please don't force a smile on your sweet face. Talk to me. I'm worried about you"

"I'm alright, you don't have to worry about me" I lie, hating myself when his face falls.

He's not buying it.

I feel bad for not being more open with him, which is why I decide to at least tell him one true thing.

"Can you hold me, even for a short moment?" I ask in a shy voice that doesn't sound like it's mine.

I cringe at how needy I must sound right now, but before I can't think of a way to take the words back, a soft finger delicately push up my chin, forcing me to look at my mate.

"Oh, Alex" he sighs, giving me a fond smile, although he wears a painful expression on his face. "Never be afraid to ask"

He joins me on the bed, before lifting me so that I am now on sitting on his laps, on top of the cover. I hide my face in the crook of his neck, enjoying the feeling of his arms going around my waist, holding me tight as he starts deposing light kisses on the top of my head.

"I promise I will do my best to have more free time for you" he whispers against my ear, rocking me slowly back and forth as if I was a very small child who had to be handle with care.

We actually stay a long time like this, much longer than I could have hoped. I almost fall asleep at the feeling of his hands drawing slow circles on my back, at the confort his soothing voice brings me.

He endlessly kisses my cheeks, my nose and my forearm, before slowly nibbling on my earlobe, for once in a non-sexual way.

Maybe now is a good time to tell him about -

Knock. Knock.

I almost jump at the loud sound of someone knocking on the door.

"Shush, it's okay, little one. It's just Serena. I recognize her smell. She already know about us, she helped me looking for you when you were missing"

"Oh, no, I'm so late for work! She's going to be mad at me again"

"I will handle her" he promised, before standing up with me still clinging to him like a koala.

"Huh, Malik, maybe put me down before you open the doo-"

"Master Malik! I'm sorry, I didn't know you were there with Alex!" Serena exclaims, for once loosing a bit of her calm composture.

"No problem, Serena. I will leave him in your care. Please be nice to him. I am the reason why he hasn't come earlier to work" he tells her in a polite manner, yet there is no way to miss the slight warning present in his voice.

She nods and he finally puts me down, giving me a soft kiss on the lips, as if we were still alone in the bedroom, before rushing outside, taking the staircase to go even quicker, as if he was some intrepid youngester and not the Heir of a noble family of vampires.

"Young master will never change" Serena sighs fondly, before her closing the door behind her and stepping into my room.

I gulp, not actually able to tell if she still plans to lecture me or not.

"You should talk to him, you know" she suddenly says randomly. "If you cannot trust your own mate, who else can you trust, my sad, lonely boy?"

I don't comment of her use of the word "boy", too relieved that she doesn't seem to be mad at me.

"Actually, I am glad to find you here. I wanted to talk to you about something"

"You wanted to talk to me?"

"No, to the wall behind you! Yes, to you! Look, I don't have much time. I know you overheard me and Juliette talking about shady business happening on this Island. Meet us at dawn, in the small room next to the kitchen, when you saw us last time."

Shady business. Weird things happening on this Island. Is that what Kyle was telling me about? Do I really want to know what's going on? What if Malik is involved, somehow?

"I don't think it's a good idea to talk behind our Masters' back"

"Come on, don't be such a goody two-shoes! It actually doesn't have anything to do with Malik, as we believe the young Master doesn't know anything about it. No, the main culprit is rather ... his brother"

The way she has pronounced the word brother, with such an intense hatred, makes me wonder for a second if there isn't something else behind it, some more personal story she doesn't wish to share with me.

I think of Killian, Malik's older brother, and instantly the picture of the laidback, insolent and lovely man comes through my man.

How could someone like him be a murderer ?

"Just come at dawn and hear us" she presses me, as I still have to reply something. "At least you have to listen to us before taking a decision. I am sure that from what you've heard already, you already figured out that the situation is tragic. We need your help. Werewolves have been murdered. Don't be a traitor to your own kind"

Traitor. This word, again. The pain never eases. It never will. I just became better at pretending it doesn't bother me that much.

I look at her in the eyes, choosing not to listen to the small voice in my head that's telling me it's a bad idea and that I shouldn't do something without telling Malik first. I take a deep breath, before declaring in an unusually firm voice :

" I will be there"

A/N: Heavy chapter, I know. I hope you still enjoyed reading it, just remember that things will get worst before they get better.  🌧 🌞
Good luck with everything that's been going on. I am feeling a bit lonely myself, I decided to stay in Egypt although all of my friends went back to their home countries but I am feeling a bit homesick rn. Anyway, sorry for the pity party ! Hope you're all safe and that you have at least one person you can talk to. Sending you virtual hugs xxxx