Warning : Smut (these kind of warnings always sound more like a promise to me but whatever, you've been warned dear readers ;) )

Two months later...

I'm stressed.

No, that's the understatement of the century: I'm ready to shit a brick, which isn't such a good thing when you're about to have anal sex, I'm sure you can figure out the reason why.

Ugh, good thing Malik cannot read my thoughts, because while I want to appear sexy and confident, I'm a mess inside.

I don't know why I'm so nervous about it. After all, I was the one to suggest that we decide on a date to seal the deal, while Malik wanted to just "let it happen". Maybe I should have agreed with him, instead of putting unecessary pressure on myself by setting a date. I just wanted to have time to prepare everything and make this day even more special.

Time flied and now it's The Day, with capital letters. Fuck.

Don't get me wrong, I really want to do it. I've been thinking about it for weeks, and only started getting apprehensive last night. For that reason, I couldn't sleep really well, although I did my best to dodge Malik's questions.

I know it will be great. Plus, it's not like we haven't fooled around already. I know his body, and he knows mine. Frankly, his dick is the only thing that hasn't been in me yet.

Yeah, that's right - he even got his big toe inside.

I'm kidding, alright? Just kidding. Tsk, some people have a naughty mind.

It will be great. There's no reasons for things to go downhill, right? Please, someone tell me that we will be alright.

I'm a bit embarassed to even admit it to myself, but what I'm most afraid of are my own reactions. What if he can't get it in, or if I cannot bear the pain, although I know he will be careful? I haven't had sex since that one time I did it with Adrien. It was a nightmare for me, but that asshole also said it didn't feel great for him either. What if Malik loses his hard-on because I react like a scared baby? What if he doesn't get hard at all?

Oh my god, what if I start crying?

"Pup? Aren't you coming?" Malik asks in a very soft voice that makes me feel somehow ashamed of my skittish behaviour.

That's right. I told him to wait for me in the living room, while I finish doing the dishes. That's just an excuse to buy myself some time, of course, and I doubt he fell for it, but he kindly didn't comment on that and now he's been patiently waiting for me in the living-room for almost fifteen minutes.

"Almost done!" I reply in a fakely enthusiastic voice.

Fifteen minutes. Who takes so long to clean up the dishes? And we're only two persons.

I have to admit that so far, everything has been perfect. More than perfect. Maybe that's what terrifies me the most. Things can never be perfect for too long.

Like the two grandpa that we are, we decided not to go out and to have a nice evening at home. I insisted to cook, because Malik usually is the one to do the cooking and I wanted to make something nice for him, for once. I went for lasagna, because it's one of the few nice dishes I can make, plus who doesn't love lasagna?

We spent the afternoon chilling in the garden, talking and reading and cuddling in the hammock. He offered me new plants that he bought from the small flower shop close to our house, and we planted them together. I almost cried at the small, yet heartwarming gesture. How can I hope not to cry tonight, when my goddam emotions are already all over the place?

That's right - we have our own place, now. Malik is quite rich, which isn't that surprising, considering how long he has been on Earth. He owns, among other properties, a nice little cottage near the sea in Scotland, and so it was convenient for us to move there.

We are not sure if we will stay here for a long time, or not. We are not very far from my former pack's territory now, and I am not sure how to feel about it. On the one hand, I am glad to be closer to Kyle, on the other hand, I am a bit wary at the idea of meeting my old pack members again. I doubt they remember much about me, apart from the fact that I am "The Traitor".

I finally exit the kitchen and rush toward the stairs, only to be stopped dead in my tracks by Malik's oh-so-gentle voice.

"Alex? I thought we were - Where are you going?"

"I - uh. I will just go quickly to the bedroom to get changed, you can join me soon" I stutter, gripping my left elbow with my right hand in a nervous manner. His eyes follow the gesture and he gives me a small, conforting smile. Why is he always so observant? I squirm under his intent gaze and he finally takes pity on me, instead looking down at his hands that are resting on his laps.

His hands that are going to be on me soon, in all sort of places.

He looks like he is about to say something deep, but in the end he just asks:

"When?"

"Huh?"

"How long do you need to get ready? Please, don't tell me half an hour" he teases me, and I can't think of any witty comeback that would allow me to show him how confident and collected I can be.

"Give me five minutes, okay?"

"Alright, babe - oh and, Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"Tonight was perfect. Thank you so much for the delicious meal, and for all the efforts you put into it" he smiles, looking up at me again with a fond expression.

"No-no problem. It's not finished anyway. The evening, I mean, not the lasagna. It has - huh - it has just started" is all I manage to mumble, feeling a bit stupid, before hurrily climbing the stairs, my cheeks probably as red as a tomato. Why am I acting all shy all of a sudden?

I quickly close the door of the bedroom - our bedroom - behind me, and start to undress, before putting on the lilac thong that I've bought just for the occasion. It has black satin lace on the front, and a small daisy that I found endearing when I first bought it, but that Malik might find a bit too much. I hope he'll like it.

Once I am done, I take hesitant steps toward the full-lenght mirror.

I don't like what I see.

It's not that I hate my body - it's just a body, and a pretty ordinary-looking one, at that. I might be a bit too lanky for my taste, but most of the time I don't really pay attention to my physical appearance.

Today is different. I'm having sex with Malik, who looks nothing but dazzling. He saw me naked before, but today our bodies will be joined and there's a whole world between how he looks and how I look.

I turn around, only to feel even more desperate when I caught a glimpse of my round, plump behind.

How comes someone as skinny as me has such a fat ass?

I look ridiculous with this underwear, which highlights how disproportionate my body really is. How can I have been presumptuous enough to think that I would look good in it? It's not with a stupid piece of clothes that I will make this day more special for Malik anyways! What was I even thinking about?

Maybe Malik will still have sex with me out of pity?

I shudder when warm hands suddenly settle on my hips and a hot breath against my nape makes my skin tingle.

"Pup?"

I let out a gasp as he pulls me closer to him, my ass brushing against his clothed cock.

"Tell me why you look so tensed. Come on. You know you can tell me anything." he cooes, his arms circling my waist.

I sigh, turning around in his embrace so that I can rest my cheek against his shoulder. His fingers start playing with the string of my thong and my heart beats faster at the gesture, because I am wondering if he likes it and if the view of my ass doesn't disgust him.

"I'm just feeling a bit - nervous" I eventually admit. "You have plenty of experience in the love-making department, and I won't know what the fuck I'm doing. I'm even a bad laid, according to Adrien. Plus, you look like an Adonis, while I just look like - well, you've seen everything already, so you know"

He stays silent for a moment, before his hands leave me and he starts undressing.

Once he is only in his boxers, he stops, looking at me with an expectant expression.

"What?" I ask, feeling a bit annoyed. "That proves my point, doesnt it? You look perfect and-"

He interrups me by taking my hand and putting it on his very hard dick.

"You feel that, pup? I've been hard since I entered this room and saw your naked body, looking even more delicious than usual with this thong on. This pudgy little bottom of yours will be the end of me, I swear" he growls, excitement lightening his eyes.

"Forget about your lack of experience." he adds. "It's not a race for perfection. It's you and I feeling good together and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. I am not expecting anything in particular. I just want you. There's no such thing like a bad laid. Wait, no, I would say that A bad laid, to quote this asshole whose name I prefer not to mention, is a selfish prick who only think of their own pleasure and see the other as a mere toy to reach this goal.

I nod in understanding, brushing his arms with my fingers as a subtle way to show him my affection.

"Now, Alex, as much as I want to devour you right now, I don't want you to feel like we have to have sex tonight, just because we've decided on this date. Actually, there's no obligation for you to take my dick at all. Having sex isn't just about putting your cock inside your lover, although I know many guys who seem to believe that it's the ultimate goal. Everything we have been doing so far - touching, kissing, sucking, fondling everywhere, I consider it to be lovemaking, and I love it."

"NO!" I immediatly protest and he raises an inquisitive eyebrow at my vehement tone.

"I mean, I - I also love everything we did, but I still want you to put it in. Tonight." I add, stressing on the last word, which makes him chuckle.

"Alright, pup. Tell you what - we will just fool around a bit, no pressure, just pleasure, and if we feel like it, we can let things escalate gradually, sounds good?"

"Yes" I exclaim, feeling much more relaxed now that I've talked to him and that he is holding me like he always does. "Now, less talk, more action" I decide, before jumping on the bed excitedly, pouting when he doesn't immediately follow.

"Now, now, my little horny pup. Not so fast. Tell me, have you cleaned up nicely?"

"Yes, of course, I took a shower. I'm not a pig! Why, do I smell bad to you?" I reply, somehow offended but he just shakes his head, apparently finding my response endearing.

"No, I mean - have you properly cleaned up there?"

"Oh, you mean.. uh... not really but I don't know... what should I..?"

"I will guide you through it, alright?" he asks, shrugging it off like he hasn't asked me the most embarassing question I've ever been asked. I take the hand that he extended to me, following him in the bathroom.

I step into the shower and he is right behind me, the warmth emanating from his body making me feel both lustful and safe. We stand a little under the hot water spray, until he turns me around and shows me what he is holding in his hand. That's -

"Do you know what it is, pup?"

"I - I've never seen one in real, but - yeah, yeah, I do"

"Is it okay if I use it on you?"

I ponder his words a few seconds, before hesitantly replying;

"You won't feel disgusted afterwards?"

"I won't" he promises. "I want to take care of you"

I nod and turn back, resting my forehead against the shower wall before I can change my mind.

Soft hands gently grab me by the hips and force me to bend forward, until my ass is up the air. I blush as my asscheeks are carefully parted, leaving me completely exposed. I hear the sound of the cap of a bottle being opened, and a few seconds later, he is rubbing an oitment of some sort over my fluttering entrance.

"I will put in the extremity of the tube now. Don't worry, it's very thin so we don't need to stretch you for that"

"Stop talking and do it, asshole"

He laughs, mumbling something about "an asshole taking care of an asshole" and I have to refrain from telling it to shove it up his own arse.

The end of the tube slips in easily, just like he predicted, and I sigh in relief.

"Here comes the hard part" he warns. "I will start pumping the water into you"

I just shrug, thinking that water can't be that painful, compared to a dick.

Turned out I was wrong.

"Ma-Malik" I whine a few minutes later, my stomach rumbling loudly as I'm being filled with more water.  "It feels uncomfortable. I don't like it"

"Just a little more, love" he hushes me, rubbing gentle circles over my now swollen stomach. "We're almost there"

I nod and true to his words, he removes the tube a few seconds later, before inserting a slightly bigger object inside.

"I'm just plugging you up so you can keep the water in a few extra minutes, before going to the toilet to release it"

I nod again and slowly straighten up with Malik's help. We wait in silence, as he holds me close while making sure not to apply any pressure on my poor belly.

After I'm done relieving myself, I rush back to the bathroom and Malik thoroughly cleans me up with a sponge bath, insisting on my puckered hole, while I drop light kisses all over his neck and shoulder that makes him shiver.

When we get into the bedroom, I feel content and slightly light-headed.

Where has the anxious and self-conscious Alex from earlier gone, I wonder?

A/N: Heyya ! I hope you don't hate me for splitting their love-making session in two chapters! I didn't want them to rush into things and I wrote more than I expected, so it would have been a way too long chapter.

Don't worry though, the next chapter won't start with the dreaded "He woke up feeling an ache between his legs" because WE LOVE DETAILS.

Take care xxx