Picture: Malik's mean doggo 🐶 

It's six pm already. The day actually hasn't been as horrible as I thought it would be.

In fact, so far life on The Island of the Culprits isn't half as bad as the inhabitants from the Herridghock village made me want to believe. Maybe they are just prejudiced because they know the owners of the Island are vampires. That's because they never actually met them. As for me, except for the youngest brat, I found the family very decent and well-behaved. 

Of course, there's the fact that Malik's little pet, Thomas, might have taken a strong dislike in me - but hey, if you don't have at least one enemy, your life could be more spicy! 

I like the rest of the staff, although they don't have much of a conversation, as they don't know anything aside from life on the Island. 

You might think I'm going to die from boredom, but maybe this is what I need. At lunch, everything was so quiet and peaceful. The others weren't talking about their big financial prospects, their children or politics, just like people do in the outside world. They weren't prying about my past, since they don't even remember theirs. It felt good not to pretend to be anything I'm not, and just enjoy my meal in silence. Here, you don't have to talk if you don't feel like it. Nobody will judge you. 

This island should be rebaptised The Island of the Introverts.

For once, being around people isn't entirely exhausting. To be honest, I even found a bit moving the way the domestics seemed to enjoy simple things - the fish they were having for lunch, the fact that Rose just bought a magnificent black horse or even the sight of a blue butterfly in the grass. 

Yes, everything would be perfect, if it wasn't for a little voice nagging at the corner of my head. Maybe I still have some instincts left, although as time goes by, I feel less and less like a wolf. 

I mean, can you tell when you're no longer a wolf? I no longer shift, I couldn't even if I wanted to, since I can hardly feel my wolf now. In consequence, I'm never going to find my mate, which is supposed to be the happiest moment in a werewolf's life. 

Maybe the only difference between me and a plain human is my enhanced physical skills. I can hear, fight, see, smell and run thousand times better than the most athletic human in the world - I know, that doesn't say much, since humans are weak creatures. 

Also, the other little difference would be the fact that I miss the wild life to the core of my heart, and I'm not sure a human could really understand it. I hope this unbearable urge to run and hunt will fade with time, though.

Anyway, my slight discomfort with my new situation arises from the fact that somehow I feel like danger is on the way. 

Something dark and hungry is lurking in the shadows, or maybe in the hearts of those very people whose faces seem to embody beauty and innocence in their purest forms.

Because my wolfish instincts are weakened, I don't try to escape this mysterious island, while I still have time. Instead, I listen to my rational side, to my human side telling me this is real life and that things usually are a lot less exciting than they first appear.

Am I facing an unknown threat? There is, however, a well-known and much more pressing threat to my mental equilibrium. See, in four hours, I'm supposed to go join the other males for a collective shower, or something like that. Will Malik be there? I hope not, but I suppose he will. He's the one behind it, after all. He is the horny mastermind. 

I've been trying - and failing to get more information from the other members of the staff, but to no avail: even the cute Angus, who keeps blushing everytime he talks to me, refused to give me an explanation. They are so evasive it makes me even more apprehensive about it. 

Guys, come on! If you don't give me an explanation, at least give me a sweet little lie, so I can enjoy my day with the deceptive belief that everything will go well tonight. 

"First cooking, now gardening? You really are the perfect housewife"

I jump as I recognize this now familiar voice and accidentally kick the plant pot I intended to put on the garden table. I have been told Rose loves magnolias, and I wanted to give her a little surprise, since she seems to be the nicest vampire of the household. 

Ah! Roses loves magnolias. I know, I know. I snorted too when I found out.

Thankfully, although a little soil fell from the pot, the flower is unharmed. I didn't crush it with my heavy foot. 

"Aw, is it a little present for Rose? You really are a sweet, sweet young man" the brat adds with a mocking tone. 

I close my eyes, hoping that when I open them, Malik will be long gone. 

And me. 

And the Island. 

And every being on the Earth.

What? It could have worked!

Okay, so not only it didn't work, but he's now approaching me at a tranquil pace, bringing with him an unwanted presence, a small creature I always tried to avoid the best I could when I was still living among humans...

A. DOG. A FREAKING DOG.

Why the fuck would a vampire have a dog? Why not settle for a more fitting pet, like a bat? I must be cursed! I thought that, staying on the Island, I would be free from these creatures - and if I hear someone say dogs kinda are wolves' cousins, I'm going to strangle them!

Of course, the dog starts yelping loudly, sounding half-aggressive and half-afraid. 

Malik, obviously not used to this kind of reaction from his "cute and obedient little doggo" tries to calm him the best he can, muttering soothing words. Despite its best efforts, it's not working, because the dog's entire attention is on me. 

Of course, it's not working, because Malik can't know, can't give his dog what he wants. The dog wants me to shift. He wants me to show him my animal form, so he can smell me and properly greet me. 

Not happening, Scooby-Doo. Not today, and not in a century.

Eventually, Malik gets tired of trying to reason his little bouncy friend, so he just takes him back home. 

The minute he's gone, I quickly start watering the flowers, not wanting to be still there if Malik does come back. 

However, it seemed that I forgot how quick vampires are because less than a minute later, he's here again, looking as smug as ever, although there is also a touch of curiosity in his eyes now.

Well, at best, curiosity, at worst, suspicion. 

"Funny how both of your pets seem to lack discipline" I remark, before my eyes widen in horror when I realise what I've just told Malik. 

I half expect him to behead me in one swift movement for my lack of respect but to my greatest surprise, he just snorts:

"It speaks"

"If you're talking about your little dog, I don't think so. If you're talking about your other pet, Thomas, then it's unfortunately true."

This time, he laughs for real. He should laugh more often. I mean, he's obviously always very handsome, but when he drops his bratty ways, joy itself appears on his face, and the result is beyond beautiful. 

"You don't seem to like my pets very much, Kyle. And you seem to be very sarcastic for someone whose heart is supposed to be as pure as the driven snow, as Mother puts it"

"I'm sorr-"

"Don't be" he interrupts me. "I'm glad someone on this Island has the nerves to be blunt in my presence. Are you just sarcastic because it's a form of wit, though, or is there something else behind? Tell me, Kyle. Sometimes, sarcasm is just a self-defense mechanism."

He looks at me thoughfully and for a brief moment I really wish I could tell him everything. Well, some of it at least. Malik seems like he has a deep understanding of things.

I want to tell him that yes, that's correct, I do sarcasm because I don't know any better. I do it all the time. I do it when someone asks me how I feel, because if I answer truthfully to this question, I'll just break down and I don't know if I'll ever be able to mend the broken pieces together.

I want to tell him that once upon a time, there was a wolf who was desperately in love with an older, smarter wolf. He was so in love actually that it weakens his common sense and led him to do the biggest mistake of his entire life. 

But I'm not trying to use love as an excuse. I believe  people who justify their wrong behaviours by saying "I did it because I love you" are only pretending to be in love. 

I want to tell him all of that and more, however, because I remember how he called me, I decide against it. 

Kyle. 

You're lying again, Alex. You're once again living in a lie that you created. Don't make the mistake of befriending people again, because this happiness you want to feel, everything you could share with them, would be a big lie. It would be as fake as you are.

So, I take my dumbest voice and just say in reply:

"I don't know what you mean, Master. I never feel any pain."

I don't know whether I should feel relieved or desperate that he actually seems to buy it. 

He sighs, and I think he's just going to leave it at that but he surprises me once again when he adds: 

"You're lucky, then. Sometimes I feel like none on this damn island can understand me, and the pain it creates is unbearable. But of course, you can't understand anything of what' I'm saying. You can't know what it's like to feel like you're being secluded from your own family."

He has no idea how well I understand what he means. I want to put my hand on his shoulder and comfort him the best I can but since he's the Master and I'm supposed to be a naive human, I remain silent.

"That's what BDSM actually is, for me, you know."  he suddenly blurts.

I almost blush at that, and he laughs:

"Of course, you have no idea what it might entails. Let's just say that what I'm doing - trying to do with Thomas, is for us to create a safe space when we can explore what we are and what we truly want. It's about going beyond the boundaries, and doing so safely. For a Sub, it can also be a way to physically feel the pain that is emprisoning their mind."

Would this kind of relationship help me to quiet all these hateful voices in my head, I wonder. These voices constantly telling me that I don't deserve to be alive. 

Malik pauses, before looking up at me. His voice hardens when he resumes:

"Of course, it's not working, because Thomas is empty. As empty as you are. My family and I - we created what I like to call The Island of The Zombies. 

I'm even more empty than Thomas, I mentally correct him. 

Finally, he gets up again, and there's a hint of softeness in his eyes when he adresses me. 

I don't know what to think of this guy. He's hot, and he's cold. He's yes and he's no...

"You're not afraid of dogs, aren't you, little Kyle?"

Little Kyle. My heart almost stops at that and I don't find the courage to look at him. It shouldn't make any sense, he's smaller and younger than me. Yet, it feels right. Why do I want him to call me that again? 

If only he knew my name. 

Little Alex. 

This time, he leaves for real, but not before asking me a last question:

"What are you so afraid of, then?"

Things are going well between Alex and Malik but don't get used to it, it won't last ^ O ^

I hope none of you have a friend named Thomas, because this Thomas guy is going to be a - figurative don't worry - pain in Alex's ass! Once upon a time there was a Thomas in my highschool I couldn't stand, so...IT'S REVENDGE TIME! 

Anyway, now's not the time to revisit the past! Wish you all a brillant future, and an even better present! xoxo