Picture: the locker rooms leading to the Turkish baths

I have been dreading about this shower thing for most of the day. However, as it is often the case, the wait might have been the worst part of it. Now that it's about to happen, I feel somehow relieved. It's because our imaginations do not have boundaries, when reality does.

Right now, I am waiting  near a huge white door with all the other males from the staff, and there is a buzzing atmosphere which makes me feel much better. I mean, if it was so terrible, people wouldn't look so excited, right?

Or maybe people here are so brainwashed that they would actually be happy if they were told to be.

The Masters would tell them, we're going to kill you but don't worry, it's no biggie and these puppets would smile and laugh.

There are actually much more people than I expected. I thought I had met most of the staff by now, I guess I was wrong. All males, most of them beautiful.

I am the tallest one, and next to these cute twinks, I look like a self-conscious teen who wishes for half of the attention that's being given to his little sibblings.

What the fuck am I doing here? The only characteristic I share with them is my gender.

There's at least one guy who might not agree with me, though.

"What are you thinking about, Kyle?"

I turn to face an ever-blushing Angus and I am half-tempted to wink at him. Who knows? Maybe he will faint.

I really wonder what he sees in me.

"I'm just wondering about what's going to happen. I'm so nervous it makes me want to puke" I declare bluntly and he beams at that, his eyes suddenly brighter:

"Don't worry, you'll love it! The Turkish baths are so beautiful, Kyle, I swear! It's the most magnificient room in the whole mansion! And-"

The door opens, and all the murmurs cease.

I can't help but feel a bit disappointed, as I give an uninterested look at the lockers.

Much ado about nothing, old Shakespeare would have said.

"So what, are we all going to a swimming pool?" I ask warily and for once Angus gives me a non- too pleased look.

"Have you not listen to anything I've just said?" he pouts. "We're heading to the Turkish baths! It's actually the time of the day I enjoy the most. Master Malik is the most generous Master we could ever dream of"

Wow. That wasn't exagerated at all. Your critical thinking is going strong, redhaired boy.

"Right" I mumble. "So, can we at least keep our swimming costumes on?"

"No, no costume" the little demon purrs with an happy expression, making my stomach churns in discomfort.

This guy expects too much from me. There's no doubt he will be disillusioned soon. Probably the moment when I'll remove my towel.

"You can keep your towel around your waist until Master Malik comes, though".

I want to add something but we're quickly separated, as everyone rushes to the locker rooms. I carefully lock the door of my stall, before throwing my clothes on the floor.

I don't want to join the others.

I don't want them to see me naked.

I no longer want to be here.

Not wanting to be the last one to get to the Turkish bath, I eventually put a huge towel around my lanky body and open the door.

A small guy with a dark skin gives me a small smile, before he starts walking at a determined pace. I quickly follow him.

Wow. Angus didn't lie. This is truly impressive.

The marble floor is a light lila, while the walls are white as snow. There is a small fragant in the room, it smells like burning incense. In the middle of the room are three large baths, oval in shape.

"You start with the smallest bath, where the water is 39 degrees. Then you go to the second one, which is slightly colder than the human body temperature. You finish by going to the third bath, which is so cold newbies usually skip it" Angus instructs me while not so discreetly giving me a once-over.

I pay him no mind, though, as I look up to find that the ceiling is actually the most successful piece of art of the room with its arabesques and its paintings representing young men laying in pastures full of orange flowers and small animals like squirrels and birds.

I'm so amazed by the general beauty of the room that I temporarily forget why I came here in the first place.

That is, until a familiar voice suddenly booms in the room.

Only, this time hearing his voice doesn't feel reassuring. There's something different in Malik's voice. Something harsher that I think I only heard once, during my interview.

"General inspection!"

The air changes again, and I quickly follow the others who are quickly forming a line, military style.

I'm no longer so sure I was right, thinking that Malik could be somehow decent.

I'm half tempted to keep the towel around my body as a shield, but since none else did, I guess I have no choice but to be stark naked.

I don't want to attract unecessary attention.

Plus, he is standing in front of us and we're forming a giant line, so at least I'm lucky in my misery.

Nobody is standing behind me so nobody will have a chance to see the small bloody mark he left on my rear, after making me believe we were soulemates.

I can still feel his fangs diving into the soft skin of my ass cheek. It hurted so much I instantanly knew something was wrong back then. Yet, I still refused to believe it, even then.

I was in love and I didn't want to believe he wasn't.

I didn't want to believe he tricked me, making me believe we were mates although the signs weren't there.

"I can feel it" he used to tell me with a confident tone. "You'll feel it later too, don't worry baby. Some people just need more time than others to feel the bond linking them to their other half."

The most ridiculous part of it is that I actually felt guilty, when he told me that in a half-asserted, half-annoyed voice. I was ashamed for not recognizing the signs  that we were made for each other, even if I loved him with all my heart.

He was, after all, the first person to really pay attention to me.

My so-called soulemate. The night when we mated, he was waiting for me in silent, until eventually seven unexpected words left his mouth.

"I want to complete the mating now."

I felt like I didn't deserve it, as I had failed him, but I didn't protest because I wanted him. I wanted him and none else.

For the first time in my life I had more than I could dream of.

So I simply nodded, baring my neck so he could mark me but he brutally turned me over, before ripping my pants off me.

I understood he wanted to put his mark on my ass, and I didn't know what to make of it. It was a very uncommon place for a mating mark.

Now, I understood why he did it here. It was his way to show me how little of me he thought.

"Why" I asked in a broken voice, when is fangs eventually dislodged from my ass and as I felt my wolf slowly fadding.

It was the worst thing that could happen to a wolf: mating with someone who isn't your soulemate.

He must have felt it too, the tear in his soul. He was an Alpha, but he wasn't indestructible. I don't think it was half as bad for him as it was for me, though. After all, he was the one who initiated it. I was the one who had to live with an infamous mark on my body.

A mark that still burn from time to time. A mark that shouldn't be on me.

The worst thing is that even after that incident, I still betrayed my best friend for him.

"Kyle? Oh, Kyle, back to Earth! Master Malik is almost here" Angus's concerned voice reached my ears, breaking me from my trance.

He's right. Malik is slowly approaching us, as he closely look at every naked man standing in front of him. They all look back at him with hopeful expressions, trying to make themselves appear more sensual.

One of them even goes as far as to cup himself between the legs. Master Malik doesn't look at him for very long, though, instead focusing on the next guy, who is taller than the others, almost as tall as me.

"Ugh. Where the fuck am I? This is so gross" I complain, but fortunately only Angus hears me.

I almost yell when as he pinches my side.

Little fucker.

"Hush" he admonishes me. "Behave. Just stay quiet and look beautiful."

"What for?"

"Everyone in the room wants to be picked. They want to have the priviledge to share Master Malik's bed for a night, and hopefully for a lifetime. See, Master Malik still haven't found his soulemate, although he has been looking for years.."

"Do you want to be chosen?" I ask curiously.

"Of course! That would be a great honour" he quickly replies, although there's an uncertainty in his voice that makes me look at him closely. "Well, to be honest, now that you're here, I'm not so sure I"

He really is adorable. I feel awful for not feeling attracted to him in the slightest. Out of guilt, I tell him to not worry, because he's so cute Master Malik will pick him eventually.

Of course, he blushes.

"Are you having fun, you two lovebirds?"

Why does he look so mad? And why do I feel so bad for displeasing him, although I have no clues what it is that I have done wrong.

I just want to kneel and apologize for Something I haven't done.

I'm supposed to be a strong one, though, so I only look at him in silence, my mask giving nothing away.

He must be thinking nothing can hurt me.

Maybe that's why he is looking at me with such an evident lack of interest. He has no idea how humiliated I feel.

True, he didn't look too long at the other men, either, although he did smile or patted some on them.

I want him to pat me.

I want him to call me little Alex.

Little Alex? Stupid Alex!

I don't think he looked at anyone the way he's looking at me, though.

He thinks I'm ugly, I can tell.

He thinks my body is gross.

After five excruciatingly long minutes, he finally averts his eyes, but not before whispering these words that I don't think were meant for my ears.

"Not much to look at anyway"

After that, through the wall of my tears, I can see him from afar, talking to a beaming Thomas.

"Would you like to join me tonight, pet?" he whispers seductively.

"Of course, Master" Thomas purrs, before taking his hand.

They leave the room, and as if it was a signal everybody was waiting for, the room is filled again with noises and laughters.

Nobody seems to mind the fact that they were not chosen by Master Malik, except for the tall guy who mumbles "It's almost always Thomas who's chosen! Not fair! What does he have that we don't?"

I feel a small hand grabbing mine and I obediently follow Angus into the warm bath.

I don't feel any warmth, but at least my urge to cry out like a baby is gone.

A saying that my mum used to whisper to me when I was sad suddenly comes to my mind.

"It's called mind over matter, honey. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter"

I say it over and over in my head but it doesn't work.

It never does.

Hey! So, I hope you guys weren't too confused/bored by the flashback! I have to go back to Alex's past to draw his future (fucking smart, I know) so please bear with me! Btw, have you guess who gave Alex the mating mark?

Also, I'm moving abroad tomorrow (I feel so stress rn  I might puke, just like Alex, lol) so I'm not sure I'll be updating next week. I won't make you wait too long, though, so don't worry.

Keep shining xxxx