I don't know how long I've been staying in the room. Long enough for me to start feeling cold, long enough for my body to become cranky after staying for so long in a sitting position. I could pretend I feel guilty, but the truth is, I feel numb. 

Empty. My emotions are somehow gone, and while it should be a relief, it feels scary. I don't think I want to go back to the emotionless state I was in before meeting Malik. 

From the window, I can see Kyle and Darren talking to each other in the garden. They're not looking in my direction, allowing me to look at them closely without being seen. Since the weather is pretty mild today, they are only wearing tee-shirts and light trousers. They form a beautiful picture together.

 My former friend is currently laying on the grass, with his head on Darren's laps. The alpha's hand is running endlessly through his mate's thick brown hair, in an obvious attempt to comfort him. Is it working? It's hard to tell from afar.

I hurt Kyle's feelings once again. I thought talking about what happened between me and Adrien would help mending things between us, but apparently I was wrong. 

Things are even worse now. 

I should man up and leave the false safety of the room, I should do it now that Darren and Kyle are still outside. I can't be in this house anymore, but at the same time, I'm afraid to go out, to look at Kyle in the eyes and to read in them the confirmation of what I already know. 

He is never going to forgive me. 

Maybe he talked to my mate, too. Maybe Malik has finally come to the realization that I am not worthy of him. 

Opening the door as slowly as I can, I send a quick "thank you" to the Goddess of Cowards when the door doesn't make a single sound. 

Taking a few careful steps, I get as close as I can to the living-room without being seen. Recognizing my mate's scent, I am about to step in, but I stop dead in my tracks when I hear Nate's voice. 

"Oh, but there are different types of punishments. You just have to find out what Alex's kinks are. I can't give you any details, or else Kyle would kill me, but let's just say that this tough-looking guy is waaay more kinky than I originally thought. I swear, the boy is a blessing. So soft and pliant and cute. Our sex life is anything but boring"

" I can't wait to explore this aspect of Alex's personnality, too"

"Oh, but I bet Alex is-"

I quickly press my hands against my ears as I feel my face becoming significantly hotter. That's it! I've heard enough! Youngsters have no common decency nowadays. 

With my hands still carefully pressed against my ears, I chance a quick look into the room, to find my mate and Nate standing way too close to each other for my liking. They are laying on the couch on their stomachs, in a position wich make them look both young and carefree. 

Since when are they so friendly with each other? 

The couch is very big, so why do they have to lay side by side?

For a few seconds, I am tempted to step into the room and push Nate off the couch but I refrain, barely managing to keep my growing furor at bay. I go to the bathroom, at the opposite side of the chalet, as quietly as I can. 

I have no right to act like a jealous lover, when I have done nothing to deserve such a title. Just because the Goddess made a mistake by pairing us together doesn't mean that I should listen to my feelings and court a man who is a thousand times better than me. Time to act properly, Alex. At least once. 

Malik seemed to enjoy Nate's presence anyways. Of course, I know deep down that Nate isn't really a threat, especially since he is happily mated with two very special  werewolves. Still, what I have just witnessed is very revealing -  I should leave Malik alone. He belongs with cheerful, easy-going and social persons like Nate. Shiny happy people, just like in the eponymous song.  He doesn't belong with a tormented, lonely and colorless mate. 

Nobody needs me in this house. 

With that in mind, I open the window above the bathtube. I can leave the house without anyone noticing me. I suppose I won't go very far, but they are all so engrossed with each other that it's worth a try. If I make it to the forest it will be much harder for them to follow my track. 

I stop for a moment when both of my feet are on the window ledge. Malik. I am about to leave him again, although I'm sure he went to great lenghts to find me. My mate. I can't even say these two words without my heart beating faster. I don't want him to think that I left because I don't love him. It's precisely because I have feelings for him that I have to go. I have to overcome my egoistic urge to keep him close to me and do what is in his best interest, although he might not realize it yet. 

"Do you really want to run away again, little Alex?"

I still, suddenly unable to breath. How comes I didn't notice him standing at the door entrance of the bathroom? His aura is now so strong it's overwhelming. He's hurt. He's angry. Above all, he sounds anxious.

"Answer me" 

"N-no" I reply honestly. 

"Do you want to stay with me?"

"Yes."

The atmosphere shifts and from the corner of my eyes, I see the young vampire  visibly relax. Doesn't mean he's no longer mad, though. 

"Then get down and close the fucking window. Now."

I gulp, before hastily complying. 

"Now come here"

I hesitate upon hearing his order. I'm not sure I want to be close to him when he's so mad but at the same time, I have been separated from my mate for too long. I need to touch him. I need to be as close to him as possible. 

"Do as I tell you and hurry up, or I will come and get you myself"

I throw myself at him then, thinking he might push me back but he doesn't. On the contrary, he puts his forehead against mine, breathing in deeply as he closes his eyes and I do the same. I am not sure what exactly is going on between us right now, all I know is that it's making me want to cry.

I keep forgetting how forgiving he is, my young, foolish, sometimes scary and most of the time mischievious vampire. 

"Why do you keep trying running away from me? Were you disappointed to find out I was your mate?" he asks with a hint of vulnerability in his voice that makes me hate myself even more. 

"I'm not!" I whisper-yell back. "I swear, I'm not Malik. You're amazing and I - I really really  like you. It's just, let's be honest,  I'm the worst mate you could think of, I am not a good person and you - you don't even  like werewolves, although I am not sure why you would hate your species as much, apart from the obvious reasons. Don't try to deny it, I know it."

"I see. We're going to have a talk about all of this later." he sighs. "For now, you're going to say goodbye to your packmates, then we're going home"

I tense in his arms, because if I like very the end of his declaration, the rest doesn't sound so promising. 

"I'm not saying goodbye. I just want us to leave now"

"That would be awfully rude, dear mate of mine. As the oldest one, you should know  better " he teases me, but I keep shaking my head stubbornly. 

"I'm not saying anything to him. Let's just go"

"Alex-"

"He hates me!" I cry, feeling exsperated. 

"I don't hate you"

I jump when I feel another pair of arms hesitantly circling my waist from behind. My mate takes a few steps back and I let him go with regret, before turning around to find Kyle looking at me with shiny eyes. 

"I need more time, but I could never leave you" he whispers in my ear with a shaky voice. "Thank you for talking to me. Now, I need to tell you one last thing in private before you go...."

"What is it?" I whisper back, praying the Lord above that I won't start crying now, because I feel like during these last few weeks I've cried enough for a lifetime. 

"Malik, can you leave the room for a second?" he asks my mate. 

"No."

"Malik, please-"

"I'm not leaving. I can put my hands on my ears if you want, but I am not leaving the room without my mate." 

"I see" Kyle huffs, sounding mi-annoyed, mi-amused. "Okay then, it will have to do, I guess."

I watch my mate sit at the furthest corner of the room with his hand on his ears and a stern expression on his face. If my mate looks almost comical like this, Kyle's whispered words in my ear are anything but. 

"Be careful, Alex, when you're back on this Island. I am not sure what's going on there, but it doesn't sound too good. I'll keep asking around and if I learn anything consistent, I will get in touch with you. In the meantime, keep an eye open."

I shiver and nod, but it's not enough for him. 

"I need a verbal answer, Alex"

Really, what's with them all tonight? Did they all agree to be as bossy as possible with me? 

"Yes, I will be careful" I promise and he smiles lightly, but I quickly add "This doesn't apply Malik, though. I trust him to the core of my soul"

"Of course, he's your mate, he would never hurt you willingfully" he agrees with some reluctance. 

With a last pat on the back, we part and not a minute later, my mate is back at my side, his hand holding mine in a tight and much-needed grip. 

"Do you want to say goodbye to Nate and Darren?" Kyle - the innocent soul asks, making Malik hiss in anger. 

"Maybe another time" I laugh softly. "Let's take things slowly, like we said"

He nods in understanding, and soon enough, we're out. It may sound terribly cliché, but now that my mate is back, I can fully enjoy the beauty of our surroundings. The forest. The mountains. The lilac flowers whose name I forgot on the side of the path. 

"Let's go home quickly" I decide, surprising myself by calling "home" an Island full of vampires. Had someone told me, when I first arrived on this deadly Island, that I would one day call it home, I would have laugh at their face and call them crazy motherfuckers. 

"Yes, let's go home" my mate easily agrees, before adding "the quicker we get home, the quicker I can punish you for trying to leave me. Twice"

I let out a very unmanly yelp when he delivers a harsh and unexpected blow on my rear, before tightening his grip on my hand.

"Don't slow down or I shall fulffil my promise here and now"

I snort and start running faster at that,  never letting go of my mate's hand. We run for a long time, side by side, taking a few breaks under the trees without actually resting much, as we are  too busy kissing, talking and enjoying the other's presence and warmth. I shall never forget these happy times, no matter how long I live and how sad the rest of my journey could be. 

We exchange a smile when we finally see the Island from afar. 

"Let's try to find a sailor foolish enough to accept to take us to the Island" Malik whispers in my ear and I nod, thinking about the first time when I had to take the boat to the Island. 

I was alone back then, so full of self-hatred and misery that I believed I wouldn't last much longer. 

Of course, I haven't reached the end of the tunnel yet, but right now when I look at myself, at us, I want to Believe that one day I could become one of them.

The shiny happy people. 

A/N: Sorry for the long wait, guys. I am still at home but I felt bad for making you wait for so long, so here I go (and let's be honest, I missed my baby Alex too). 

Also, I'm flying back to Egypt tomorrow (nooooo! I don't wanna go!! T.T) so it means that starting from now, I shall resume with my usual planning (I try to update once a week, on week-ends)

Enjoy your week-end and thank you for giving a chance to the story xxxxx