Jungwon turned up in mid-February as promised. I spent most of those days cleaning and getting the place ready for him. At one point, my mother came outside to ask what all the ruckus was, and I told her simply, "Jungwon's coming to visit—he'll stay for a while, I think."

Her eyes went wide. "Really?" she asked, shocked, the most emotion she'd shown since the funeral. I smiled, put down the feather duster, and crossed the room to hug her as tightly as I could without hurting her.

"Really," I said. "He called, and we arranged it. He says he'll be here within a few days or so. He is a little busy, so it's difficult, he said. Isn't that great, Mom?"

"It's great!" she smiled just as widely as me. I don't know if it was because I seemed a little lighter than before, or because I was going to be reunited with Jungwon, but it was a genuine smile, nonetheless. She didn't say much more, but she stuck around to watch me clean up and rearrange everything in the living room and kitchen.

She went back to bed when I was beginning to dust out the extra bedroom, and change the covers on the bed, but I let her. That was a good improvement, the way I saw it. Besides, I wanted to be alone as I did this. Ever since the accident, I'd been doing things like this more often. Cleaning and cooking and household things if I wasn't making a half-hearted attempt to study. At least that was one thing that hadn't changed since then; besides that I had a little more to do than before. And at least that meant I was occupied a little longer.

Sometimes, when I was doing this, I thought of my dad. He and I did things like this as one unit when my mother was too tired to do it. We used to joke around a lot, too.

Jungwon and I used to fool around a lot, too, I remembered sometimes, if we were ever given some serious work to do.

We never really ended up getting most of the work done half the time, but I would say to him, "it's the intention that counts!" as if the point of the chores hadn't been to get it done. The memories made me smile. I didn't try to push them away.

I was scared that Jungwon would be too different from before, and that I wouldn't even recognize him anymore. If that was how he really was, at least I would have memories to fall back on, to use to remind myself that he was the Yang Jungwon I knew, mostly.

Nothing to be scared of, it's just Jungwon was what I kept repeating to myself in the days that led up to his arrival. I went around in a kind of daze, the reality of the fact finally really hitting me. It finally sunk in that Yang Jungwon was coming back. After years, I was getting to see him again, and as much as that made me happy, I was also a nervous wreck.

He was courteous enough (or maybe nervous) to call me about three days earlier, telling me that he was coming over soon. He also warned that he only had two days with me, as it was a busy time for them and even getting the two days had been a huge pain. "I don't mind," I told him, feigning calmness. Inside, I was somewhat disappointed, but even two days with him again was more than I could have really hoped for, so I'd been struggling to hide the smile in my voice.

The day he was supposed to arrive, I made sure his room was perfectly clean enough, and checked that we had enough in the kitchen. It was dumb, but I kind of wanted to impress him with my newfound cooking skills, which had sucked very badly when we were younger, but now it isn't that bad. It's pretty good, if I do say so myself.

In a way, all this was done to not think about my father. I didn't want to be set off and be reduced to a blubbering mess with Jungwon there; I didn't want my grief to mar our special day, because that's what it was. How many times do you get to reunite with your friend who's a famous idol now? Not often.

I didn't exactly dress up for him, but I did wear one of my less-patched-up outfits. Most of what I wore during the day was well-worn yet comfortable. My mother and I often repaired them ourselves, since I always bought clothes in bigger sizes than I needed and they didn't outgrow me often.

All in all, I was a bit of a control freak. Almost everything was spotless, and what wasn't was the plants my mother kept in the balcony outside, which had grown a little wilder than intended. I hadn't let them die, and watered them often, but I hadn't exactly tended to them, either. Song Yoora does not have a green thumb, really, unlike her mother.

Even my mother found enough energy to get out of bed and dress decently enough. I was proud of her for giving it her best try despite being even more tired and weak. She looked so thin and pale that it scared me, but she seemed to be holding up well enough.

We waited until eight p.m., which is when Jungwon said he would be there, at the latest. Maybe a few minutes over, he had amended. Driving through traffic in the late winter were unpredictable. When he had said that, I had a moment of uneasiness.

Please don't take Jungwon the same way my dad was taken, I thought shakily. I couldn't bear that!

It was eight-thirty p.m. when the knock on our door came. I jumped and looked at my mother, eyes wide, and a little terrified. Okay, a lot terrified. Suddenly, facing him was the most difficult thing in the world.

The knock on the door came again, and she flicked her head towards the door. Go! she seemed to be saying. Taking a deep breath, I got off the couch and walked with rubbery legs towards the door. What I had wished for so long was to see him again. And now, as he was really back with me...what was I supposed to think?

Relief? I felt so. Anger? Yes, because it took him this long and for my dad to die to get his act together. Happiness? It was there. I had him back. So what was I waiting for?

I unlocked the door, and opened it. I tried to smile my practiced smile, the one he never, even once, was fooled by, but when I saw him, it wouldn't come. My heart nearly beat out of my chest, as I stared at him in a kind of disbelief at how much he had grown up since I last saw him. I mean, I had seen him in his debut music video and the occasional clip my ENGENE friend showed me...but in person, the difference was much, much more dramatic.

He was taller, of course. A lot taller than me, which I had suspected. I hadn't expected him to look just as beautiful as before, but older, more mature. His catlike eyes didn't dance with the same good humor they usually did, but his entire face had a careful, sort of guarded expression of apprehension streaked with the slightest traces of hope. He was definitely more well-built than before, which startled me, who remembered him as the slightly skinny kid.

"Your hair's blue," was the first thing I blurted out when my mouth got working. "Kind of a dark-ish dusty blue...?"

"Tried a new look for comeback," his mouth quirked slightly in a smile. "Do you like it? Even I'm not quite sure of this, really."

"Um, it suits you," I muttered, moving aside to let him into the apartment. "So..."

"I've missed you," he said, his casual tone just failing to hide the note of sincerity in his voice. "I've missed you a lot, Yoora."

"I—" my voice caught, and I swallowed, trying to dislodge that lump. "I've missed you too, Jungwon."

Make no mistake: just because I was glad didn't mean that I wasn't going to give him a piece of my mind for his hurtful actions. Just...

Not now, is what I told myself. Now, just enjoy the moment.