I sat in the guild like I did every day. It was the same routine I had grown ever so tired of.

I would get up in the morning and head out to this place, sit at the bar for several hours before deciding that I wasn't going to go on a mission.

Or I would walk straight up to the board that held the mission and pick one up without even reading, walking out the door before anyone in the guild could speak a word to me.

It seemed like the days dragged on and got longer each time. I tried not to think about it though. It was just sad thinking about it.

My hands were placed gently on a glass of water I had gotten from MiraJane. She was very thoughtful, I think she is what has been keeping this guild going. 

Elfman sat next to me on a stool, he hadn't said a word yet. I don't really expect him to. I'm not sure what anyone these days would have to say to me.

It feels like so much has changed over the past couple of years. The guild is quiet and we like to keep it that way, we haven't stirred up any trouble for as long as I can remember.

"Big sis...Can you get me a glass of booze?" Elfman asked his older, yet smaller sister from the seat beside mine. 

"If that's what you would like." Mira answered before placing a mug on the counter in front of him. 

"Why do you do this to yourself, Elfman. Its really not like you." I said quietly.

I didn't look at him, but I could see him out of the corner of my eye. He had a tight grip on the mug, he looked grim as he did most days.

He didn't say a word for moments, as if he was trying to collect his thoughts by staring at his drink.

"Its nearing that time again, you know." He whispered to me.

I looked down, a sadness washed over me. Although I was always sad, this was different, stronger and more fierce than normal.

"Yes, I know. I'm dreading it as well. But you don't see me drinking away my problems." I looked at him as he turned his head to me, our eyes locking.

"I guess not all of us are as strong as you, Lucy. I personally don't want to be all there when the day does roll around." Elfman's grim tone was very strong.

"Two years...Its really hard to believe its been that long. It feels just like yesterday that he was here was us." I spoke softly. 

Memories came flowing into my thoughts, happy memories I was no longer able to have. Back when everyone was so carefree and childish. 

Back when we'd do anything to see each other smile. I guess I'd still do that now, but its rare to see it now. 

"May I have the attention of the guild please." I heard a some what sweet voice asked from the stage not very far from where I sat.

I turned to see Mirajane, her face once painted with a smile now struggling to so much as fake one.

Once she had the attention of the entire guild she began talking to us. 

"I know that none of you wish to hear it... But the day is coming. Its sneaking up on us just as it did last year. This is a very hard time for us all. " She paused to take a breath, you could almost hear the tears in her voice.

"Its been two years, since the accident. The day we lost one of our most treasured, energetic, and carefree members. The one person who could start a fight between the entire guild with just one glance. " I could see the smallest hint of a smile on her pretty features as her mind replayed memories.

"But I'm sorry to say that he is no longer with us. I hope that none of you will loose your memories of him. I know that I wont. I could never. Its time to say a few words to him, though he may not be able to hear them. For Natsu Dragneel." Mira finished.

Everyone stayed silent for the next few minutes, all of us thinking hard about what we were going to say.

It wasn't until after I had my thought did someone stand up. In the far corner a man stood there, he looked to the stage, past all the guild members. Gray Fullbuster.

" It feels like just yesterday you were sitting here with us. I never thought I'd have to live a day without you. But I guess life has a way of turning out how we least expect it to. There isn't a day that goes by were I don't think of what you'd do if you were here. If i could turn back time, I would. The guild just isn't the same without you... I miss you, fire breath." I don't see it very often but Gray began to cry.

As he sat down, Juvia helped him wipe the tears. She tried to smile at me and tell him that his words were beautiful. She had been there for him the entire time.

Juvia is the best thing for Gray now, she lifts his spirits and ,makes him forget the world he lives in for a short amount of time.

The next person to stand was Erza, I'm surprised she wasn't the first. The tears were already flowing from her eyes.

It was very sad to watch her cry. Such a beautiful face hiding behind such a sorrowful thing.

"Natsu...I tried to live my life without any regrets. Ever since I was a child and joined this guild I looked up to you. I never wanted to show it though. I was always scared to. I have many regrets though. I shouldn't have been so hard on you. I should have been kinder to you. I consider you my best friend. Nothing will ever change that. I've decided to look for Igneel. I know you would have wanted to meet him again. But maybe I can find him, and finish off what you started." And with that Titania sat down, putting her head to the table to cover her face.

I waited and waited, several of the guild members talked about what he was like and the things they should have done differently. That they never wanted him to be gone.

"Lucy.." Mira spoke, bringing me from my thoughts." You're the last one up."

I nodded and stood, I wasn't sure if I should say what I wanted to say in the first place.But as everyone eyes stared at me I knew I had no choice.

"Where do I even begin?" I started. "Natsu Dragneel...When I first met you, you saved my life. You broke the spell I was under and you brought me here, to Fairy Tail. I admired you courage and your lack of fear. I feel like I wasted the time we had together. Nothing saddens me more than that. There are so many things I wanted to tell you." I took a pause before continuing.

"Like for one, you were the first person to make me feel wanted in this world since my mother passed when I was a child. You showed me so many things. Like what it was like to be a true Fairy Tail wizard. There was one thing I kept hidden from everyone. Now that I look back on it, its the one thing that I regret not saying most of all. I bet you never noticed it, the way I looked at you. The way you made me loose my breath when you got near me. I never really knew what it was. I had never felt it before. But i know by the way I was so taken by everything you did...that I...love you, Natsu Dragneel."

I went home directly after I finished, I couldn't bare to stay in that place a moment longer. Two days before the anniversary we do this, say things we would want to tell him.

I finally said that one thing I had been dying to tell him. But only he wasn't there to hear it.

I made my way home. It was warm and the breeze was nice. I felt the tears slip from my eyes, I had managed to keep them contained all day. But it seemed it was my time to break.

I walked into my house, it was silent and lonely as it always was. I went straight to my room, past my bed and to the bathroom. 

I stripped down and turned on the hot bath water. I waited a few moments for the water to fill up to the top before sliding in. 

I leaned my head back and laid there. It was quite relaxing. Thoughts ran through my head, thoughts of what it would be like if Natsu was still here with me.

"You were my best friend, I know...I know you wouldn't want it to be like this. You did everything you could to keep me alive. It was my fault, I know it was. I should have...protected you. Like you always did for me. You saved my life a million times. But me? I couldn't do anything right." I said to myself, wishing that I was really talking to him.

After sitting and soaking for nearly ten minutes I cleaned myself up.

I got out and wrapped the towel around my body and heading out into the bedroom next to bathroom.

I slipped the towel off and dried my skin and hair. Walking over to my dresser I pulled out a pair of bra and underwear.

I walked over to my bed and sat down on it. Not even attempting to get into it. 

I stared at the floor, I let my mind wander again. It was hard not to honestly. I think that's why im always so down.

I cant keep my mind off the one person who seemed to put so much light in my life. It's almost like someone literally destroyed the sun and everything else. 

I've lost so much it seems like. First my mother when I was a child, then my father...now the love of my life.

Its funny how those things play out. No ones gives a second thought to these kind of things.

I've always taken for granted the time I spent with people, and they all seem to vanish in the end. But that's what happens I guess.

"I wish I had one more night with you."

I laid down underneath the covers and closed my eyes. Drifting into a sleep that I never wished had come.