That night was absolutely one of the worst nights of my life. Before I had something to distract my mind. Not even my brothers death left my nights so painful. Probably because I immediately slept with his murderer...

Ugh.

The only night that could be worse was when my dad died.

I was crying so much and it hurt no matter what I did. I was scared and alone and my mom was equally messed up.

Now?

My mom doesn't talk to me. She's was in the middle of a messy divorce from Mr. Stepdad. Andy was still trying to get over me. Rico was in another fucking country on another fucking contents. Everyone I confided in was dead. And Winston... he was missing.

What time even was it?

2a.m.

Only 2?

I needed someone to talk to.

I picked up my phone and dialed Andy. He may be distancing himself, but he was still my friend.

Again, for some reason, the fucker was awake.

Two rings.

"Felix?"

"Hey Andy."

"Woah, you sound like shit! What's up."

"I need a coffee and a friend right now, can you meet me at the 24 hour cafe by the college?"

"Of course! I'll be there in ten minutes!" He hung up and I dragged myself out of bed, getting ready. I decided to bring Evan with me. He made me feel calm with Rico gone, but I couldn't talk to him about my problems. He was just a dog. A dog who loved me, but not a human I could talk to.

Anyways, I'm ten minutes, I was at the cafe, looking like shit with Evan in tow.

"Oh wow, you look like shit too, what's up?"

Thanks Andy. Thank you for stating the obvious.

"Let's get a coffee first, I haven't slept all night."

Andy nodded and the two of us bought coffee and sat down.

I didn't want to delay anything, "Winston is missing. Lieutenant Winston. No idea where he went."

He went bug eyed, mouth open slightly, "what? Holy shit, are you okay?"

"No. Not really. The last time I haven't been able to sleep like this was when my Dad died." I took a small sip from the bitter coffee. "When it was Benny, I still had my ways of relaxing, taking minds off things, but now the thought makes me want to puke. I love Rico and only him and if he were here, I'd be able to sleep better. Maybe not. Winston is basically like my dad. He's helped me grow up and he taught me how to shave and drive a car and ride a bike and pick locks... I don't know if I can sleep with him out there somewhere, not knowing if he's okay."

Andy winced at the mention of Rico, but nodded, understanding. "He's been a big part of your life. It's pretty understandable that you're restless. I'll help any way I can."

"Thank you. My minds been a mess for awhile and i just want to blow this town."

"Really?"

"I plan on moving after this semester."

Andy froze, I noticed his hands curl into fists in a tight white knuckle grip. "Why?"

"You know better than anyone else that I can't walk five feet without running into someone I used to have sex with."

"That's not the reason you're leaving though, is it?"

I shook my head, "Andy, my mom doesn't talk to me, my brother mad best friend are dead. All that's left here is you and Winston. I love you both, but let's be honest, this isn't the place for me."

Andy knee I was right, he knew better than anyone.

"You seemed against the idea before. Does it having anything to do with the coma you were in?"

"Uh..." it did. "Yeah. It seems silly, but I saw Benny when I was in that coma."

"What."

"We talked and he told me that I need to move on. Too many people I cared about died here, too many bad memories are here." I looked at Andy, "there are people here that love me, I know. But Andy, I'm hurting too many people by being here. It's always the case isn't it?"

He didn't say anything, just letting out a shaky breath. "I'm not going to lie, it feels like you just ripped my heart out."

"I didn't-"

"No, you love Rico and what happened between us ended long before you two got together and I said I wouldn't be hung up on it... it's still a lot."

"I'm sorry."

"No I'm sorry, you called me because Rico's gone and the lieutenant went missing and I made it about me. I promise to help you in whatever way I can. I just... I need to go."

"A-alright."

He nodded, standing up and leaving with his coffee.

God.

Everything was shit, wasn't it?

I wished I could go back in time ever second, but when Rico was there, things were right and I felt happy, didn't regret my life.

Times like this?

God I hated myself.

Evan nuzzled my leg, and I gave him the head scratches he deserved as I drank my coffee in peace. A lukewarm peace.

"Hiya handsome, you alone?"

"I have a boyfriend."

"Oh... do you need a friend at least?"

I glance at the new voice, my face pale, pretty unsightly and ugly atm. "The closest people to me are dead, missing, or secretly hating me besides my boyfriend. Getting involved with me in any way is a poor choice on your part."

"No wonder you look like shit. That bad?"

"That bad."

She smiled and walked to the seat Andy was in, sitting down. "I'm not scared of anything, you need someone to talk to."

"Sitting with me is social suicide. People will call you a whore by association."

"Fine by me. I'm ditching town soon anyways. Sister is having a kid and I'm moving in with her to help raise it."

I chuckle, "congrats to her."

"Thanks." She paused, "I'm Amy. What's on your mind oh great detective?"

"You know who I am?"

"Sorta. You looked familiar, and I'm guessing i was right?"

"Yup."

She smiled, "so?"

"Well, my mother hates me, so does my step dad, though he's not going to be my step dad much longer."

"Why's that?"

"My step brother does because a psycho had the hots for me."

She winced at that, "that's pretty bad."

"Yeah, but a bunch of families hate me because an innocent officer died protecting my best friend who also died because of this fucking psycho. Then this man, my boyfriend, enters my life and I fell for him immediately."

"There were issues?"

"Well, my past sex life is no secret. I used to sleep around. He accepted that, but no one's perfect and he got standoffish at times. We did eventually work it out, but it was frustrating for the longest time because it felt like he didn't trust me."

Amy nodded, "why do you look like shit now?"

"The man who basically raised me after my father died, went missing and I have no idea where he went."

"That's awful!"

"Then I talk to the only friend I have left while my boyfriend is overseas and he hates that I'm leaving town, that's I'm leaving with my boyfriend."

"Why?"

"Because he loves me. I don't love him the same way. He's family to me."

"No, why are you leaving?"

"Because there's hardly any good memories here that aren't stained with blood."

"You should move to Detroit, Michigan. Michigan in general."

"Why?"

"It's a bigger place than here. People aren't as complicated. That and it has an international airport to escape if need be."

"Thanks."

"I hope you find who you're looking for."

"I hope so too."

"Have a nice night detective."

"I'll try."

Amy smiled and sauntered off and I was sure my coffee was lukewarm.

It was.

"Let's head in early today. Nap in the couch for a bit. That sound good?"

Evan barked happily and I left.