Eager to sink my teeth into the delicious treat, I stepped out of the car with my crepe in hand. Nolan got out from the other side.

"I love whipped cream and strawberries," I said in my dessert-fueled bliss, biting into the crepe. "This is so good!"

"I know."

I leaned against the side of his car and tried to look around. The park was large, but everything was so dark that I couldn't fully appreciate the beauty of our surroundings. At least I could still look up and admire the twinkling stars that sprawled across the inky sky above us.

Walking around the car until he was next to me, Nolan reached out to take my hand.

I tensed slightly before remembering that nobody else was around to see us. I forced my body to relax, returning Nolan's gentle grip on my fingers.

He seemed to have caught on to my hesitance in handholding when others were present, which honestly wasn't surprising because he was so observant. However, Nolan never said a word about it. His only behavior that hinted at it was how he reached for my hand less in public nowadays.

My heart clenched at the thought.

As if on cue to give me the distraction I needed, an owl from afar hooted.

Reminded by it, I said, "I wonder how Blue is doing."

"I hope he's healthy," Nolan said, pulling me into his arms. "Maybe he has a family now."

My face almost met with his black T-shirt, but thankfully I managed to turn it away at the last minute. He released my hand to hold me closer with his other arm.

"Hey, watch it," I said, laughing. "I'm eating a crepe. Don't think you want me getting whipped cream on your shirt."

I took another bite of my snack under his arm.

"As long as you're the one doing it, I don't mind."

"Well, I do! That stuff is greasy, and your shirt's black. It's going to be so obvious and horrible."

"Whatever," he said, bending his head down to kiss my forehead.

I closed my eyes.

"Too bad you can't ask Mr. Lawson to check up on Blue."

Nolan's snort was so familiar to my ears. I only really got to hear it once we'd grown closer as friends, once I'd gotten past some of his walls. It was proof that he was comfortable enough around me. The thought of no longer being able to hear it pierced my chest with a sharp, lingering ache.

"Why is the image of him wandering around in the forest, getting lost, while calling out for Blue kind of funny?"

I grinned. "I can't picture Principal Lawson getting lost in any context. He doesn't look like the kind of person who ever gets lost."

Nolan caressed my hair. "That's because you're thinking of him as a principal. He's my dad. I don't see him the same way I see the other teachers."

"So, does he or does he not have a poor sense of navigation?"

"As my dad, he kind of does," he admitted, not even hiding the smile that came to his face. "But he says he's getting better."

"Good for him," I said. "It's dangerous to get lost that easily."

He rested his chin on my head. I kind of liked how pointy it felt on my head.

"I miss Blue, though," he said. "I wonder if he still remembers me."

"How can he forget? You took care of him when he was injured."

"For a week after I released him back into the forest, I didn't dare to venture near where I left him. I was secretly terrified that he wouldn't remember me anymore."

"But he remembered you," I reminded him.

"Yeah. You're right. He might remember me if I went back to Fairwood again. I've never gone this long without seeing him, though."

"I wouldn't mind going back to Fairwood again," I said. "Even if it's just to the forest. All those memories we made! Count me in if you're going back."

He tightened his hold on me. There was hardly any room to move around in his embrace, but that just made me feel safer. There was no space to fall.

"With Blue," he said, "I learned how to get attached again. But with you, I learned how to fall in love for the first time."

I smiled down at my crepe. "Me too. You're how I learned to fall in love."

Apparently, that wasn't all he wanted to say, because Nolan removed his arms around me and brought his hands up to my face.

Cupped in his hands, my cheeks were both enveloped in delightful warmth.

"No matter what happens," he said softly, looking deeply into my eyes, "I'll be forever grateful that I got to fall in love with you. I hope you remember this."

My stomach churned. Suddenly, I couldn't eat another bite of my crepe.

"Hey," I said quietly. "What's with all the sentimental talk?"

That sounded like a farewell spoken in advance.

I couldn't vocalize my thoughts for fear of them coming true.

"I just wanted you to know that," he said.

"I love you," I said uneasily.

For the first time in our relationship, I was saying it not just because I wanted to, but because I wanted to hear it reciprocated in his reply.

"I love you too." He closed the short distance between our faces and kissed me, his lips soft against mine.

It didn't make me feel any better. My heart felt like it was rotting out of my chest.

"My mouth's greasy."

"I don't care."

"Okay." I stared down at the ring on my left hand. "Nolan, I—"

I had already planned to ask him this tonight. I couldn't chicken out now. I'd been weighed down by this for the past two weeks.

But why was I suddenly so afraid of bringing it up?

"Hm? One sec, let me get my binoculars," he said, fully letting go of me and turning to open his car door.

He stuck the upper half of his torso into the car, searching for his binoculars in the duffel bag he'd left in the back. I took the opportunity to wrap the rest of the crepe up in the paper it came in.

"Don't close the door, please," I said when he found it and came back out. "I want to put this back."

He slipped the binoculars strap over his neck.

"You're not finishing it?"

He didn't have to ask more beyond that—the question was self-explanatory. If I bought a snack that I was craving for, I generally didn't let go of its wrapper until I'd finished it.

"I, uh, I'll finish the rest later," I said, forcing a smile.

I unzipped my own bag and placed the crepe in it.

Nolan watched me silently. When I was done, he grabbed my hand and walked me to the hood of the car. We sat on it, beside each other, and he began using his binoculars. I rested my head on his shoulder.

He used to bring a spare pair of binoculars for me, but he gradually learned that I wasn't really using them. These days, if I wanted to use them, which I rarely did, I'd ask to borrow his for a while. I liked just sitting next to him.

"Hey. Do you remember when we were talking about dating back in tenth grade?" I asked as casually as I could. "That was when we'd just confessed to each other."

"Yep," he said. "Why?"

We hadn't once broached the subject of Nolan's unchanging appearance, despite it becoming the elephant in the room ever since Ashley had mentioned it. My mouth was drying up even as I opened it to speak.

"Do you remember we talked about how you weren't sure if you were going to age?"

I could feel the muscles of his arm that I was leaning on tense up. Nolan continued looking through his binoculars, as if I hadn't just asked him something.

I waited.

Finally, he brought them down to hang around his neck and said, "Yes."

"To be honest, at that time I wasn't thinking about what we'd do if that really happened," I said. "When I was in Fairwood, I felt like I was too young to think about growing old. But now I feel like we should've talked about this sooner."

I turned the ring around on my finger.

"I realized it when I turned eighteen," he said. "Day in and day out, I looked the same as I did in the ninth grade. If I was going to age, I would've at least looked a little older than I was by then. Because you didn't say anything, I didn't either. I was hoping you didn't notice."

I smiled wryly. "I didn't. I really didn't until now."

"Is it bad if I say that I'm glad you didn't?"

"Why would it be? I kind of wish nobody ever noticed."

Although his sigh was subdued, hearing it hurt me.

"Yeah," he said. "Me too. I don't know what I'm going to do. Am I going to stay this way for the rest of my life?"

Nolan didn't have the answers either.

I knew that asking him about this likely wouldn't yield productive results, but not at least discussing it when it was on both our minds seemed like poor communication.

"I thought about us going to family gatherings, and—" My throat closed up.

"I probably won't be able to go to mine in a few more years." He stared ahead into the distance. "Sorry, Chelsea. I wanted to introduce you as my girlfriend to them."

"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault."

He was the one who would lose more—he wouldn't even be able to go to his own family gatherings, let alone come to mine. I felt foolish for not realizing that sooner. I'd only been thinking about how he would fit into my life. I needed to stop being so selfish.

Why hadn't I thought about this before?

I'd taken two years of his life, broken down his defenses and earned the right to see his vulnerable side, only to turn around and have second thoughts about our relationship. I was the worst.

"You don't look that much older to me," he said, brushing a stray lock of my hair away from my face. "It's not that bad yet."

Yet.

My throat tightened some more. Eventually, people were going to think I was a predator for being with him.

"I don't want to look like some c-cougar next to you," I croaked out. "I'm scared."

"Me too," he admitted. "Do you remember what I told you before about all of this?"

"What, specifically?"

His voice was gentle. "If it gets too much for you, I can let you go. I won't hold you back. If you don't think you can do this anymore—"

"No," I interrupted, feeling my throat close up as tears stung my eyes. "No. I won't break up with you. Don't say that again. Please."

The thought of losing Nolan was as terrifying as the idea of losing a limb. Over the last two years, he'd become my best friend, someone I knew I could lean on if things got tough. He wasn't the only one who'd let himself become vulnerable in our relationship.

I couldn't let him go.

He wiped my tears away with his hoodie sleeve.

"Okay," he said.

He still looked troubled, and I knew why.

The problem still wasn't resolved. Nolan still looked like a teenage boy. I would still continue to grow older as time passed.

We spent the rest of our time there looking up at the stars without speaking, cuddled up into each other.

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AN: reaaally sorry for the delay! i promise this won't be abandoned, i already know how the story's going to go. it's just a matter of putting it all together. next chapter will be out tomorrow! :) thanks so much for reading guys <3 love you!