【 CHAPTER FOUR 】
the ride
(  —  I'VE GOT MY TICKET FOR THE LONG WAY 'ROUND
THE ONE WITH THE PRETTIEST OF VIEWS )

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Miri stared gobsmacked at the scene in front of her. Out of all the things she expected to see that day, what she found was most definitely not on the list.

The boy got up and waved his hand vigorously in front of her face several times. He frowned. 'I think we broke her,' he said, tilting his head from side to side.

The girl rapped her knuckles against Miri's forehead. 'Umm...' she said awkwardly. 'Hello? Anyone in there? Hellooo?'

Miri snapped out of her shock and caught the girl's wrist just before she could knock on Miri again.

'Oh my god,' she repeated, eyes darting between the two. 'Oh my god. What the hell even- How the hell even- What the- What? What?! Taliana?! Kenneth?!'

'Hi.' Taliana Ward smiled and waved while Kenneth Murphy pulled Miri into the compartment, shutting the door.

'What even- How are you two here?'

'How are you here?' Taliana shot back, frowning at her. 'I thought that only witches and wizards could see the platform.'

'Yeah, and how can we be sure that you're really our friend?' asked Kenneth, jerking his face right in front of hers and squinting at Miri inquisitorially.

Miri instinctually yanked her head back. Her friend was so close that she could count his nose hairs.

He (and, thank god, consequently his nose hairs) turned to Taliana. He stroked his chin like a moron. 'What would be something only Miri would know?'

Miri slapped Kenneth with the back of her hand. Partly at the question, partly at his invasion of her personal bubble.

'OWWWW! What is wrong with you?'

Miri raised her hand threateningly. Kenneth scooted back, clutching his shoulder in pain. 'No, wait! Please! No! I'm so sorry please don't hit me.'

Taliana shook her head. 'You know, for the guy who's regarded as the genius of the school every single year, you ask some really dumb questions. That's Miri all right. No one quite as violent.'

'Awwww.' Miri smiled at Taliana before her face turned to Kenneth, curious. 'Okay, so I've confirmed that I'm really me. What about you guys? Like Lia' -she pointed at the girl- 'said, only magic people can see the platform. How are you two here?'

The two shared a look. Silence. Then, Taliana inclined her chin at Kenneth.

'...we're half-bloods,' answered Kenneth. 'My dad's a wizard and my mom's a muggle - a normal person.'

'Same.' Taliana shot her a toothpaste commercial worthy smile.

Miri was not impressed. She wanted a more in depth explanation and judging from the way her friends deflated, they knew it too.

Taliana sighed. 'We'll explain a bit more but first,' she returned to her seat and held out her hand, 'chocolate?'

Miri thought about it. It was going to be a long ride. Might as well be comfortable. She eyed the seats. Ish.

'Sure.' Miri took a seat next to Taliana while Kenneth sat across from them. He leaned back and shifted in his seat, trying to find a pleasant position.

Miri waited.

'We knew about each other because of our fathers,' said Taliana, opening a candy wrapper. 'They work in the same department at the Ministry. I didn't know this chucklehead till Maples, course.'

Kenneth squinted at her. 'Right here, you know?'

Miri ignored him. 'But then why did you guys go to a non-magical primary school? Seems a bit wasted if you're not going to use any of that knowledge after you're eleven.'

'Because we didn't know if we were going to Hogwarts. I didn't show any signs of magic until I was eight.'

Miri nodded and turned to Kenneth.

'I turned my Grandma Nancy green once,' he offered.

Miri stared at him. 'Grandma Nancy,' she repeated. 'You turned Grandma Nancy green and you're still alive?'

'She changed herself back!' Kenneth defended. 'And besides, I was like, six. I didn't know how to control it.'

Miri opened her mouth before closing it. 'Okay, fair.'

They sat in silence, enjoying their respective choices of candy. Miri sat up suddenly. 'Wait....'

She eyed the both of them. 'Which one of you set the classroom on fire?'

The two pointed their fingers at each other.

'He did it.'

'She did it.'

Two years ago, their science class conducted an experiment that involved a Bunsen Burner that was knocked over by one of their classmates. Which wouldn't have been such big deal had it not set fire to a pile of nearby papers even though the classmate swore left and right that it was on the safety setting at the time. Needless to say, their class was banned from ever using the laboratory again.

Taliana glared at Kenneth. 'I already told you-I didn't do it!'

'Well I didn't either!' he protested. Then, a thought struck his mind. 'If I didn't do it...' -he pointed at himself, then at Taliana- 'And you didn't do it... And the only other witch in the class was Miri...'

'I didn't do it either!' Miri said, offended. 'My magic can only make fruit float.'

A pause as her friends took in that information.

Miri took this opportunity to let her bitter side play and muttered Figures Liam would be the one to make our toys come to life.

Kenneth blinked. 'Liam's a wizard?'

'Yeah.' Miri wracked her brain for the name of Liam's house.

'He's in the... umm...'

Her friends waited expectantly.

'Umm... blue house,' she finished lamely.

Taliana nodded. 'Yeah, that sounds about right. I always thought that he'd be in Ravenclaw.'

'Yes! Ravenclaw!' Miri smiled, then made the same face most did after eating a particularly sour lemon, all pinched lips and twisted face. 'What a stupid name.'

Kenneth's expression was one of reluctant agreement. 'Can't argue with that.'

The train rumbled along its tracks, and Miri tossed her empty chocolate wrapper onto the seat next to Kenneth's, a pile of used wrappers already accumulating.

'Hairband?' asked Taliana eagerly as soon as she finished her Mars Bars.

Miri chuckled. 'Sure.'

She handed her friend the two hairbands and wooden comb she always kept in her carry-on and shifted her body so that her back was facing her friend. Taliana began combing her hair with expert hands. Then, she divided it into three somewhat equal parts to braid it.

Out of all their friends, Miri had always held the title of having the softest, most cooperative hair, which meant squat when she only knew how to do a handful of hairstyles.

Enter stage left, Taliana - a girl who had way too many hair tutorial videos engraved into her memory. Miri had been her personal hair victim -ehem- mannequin since day one, a mutually beneficial agreement as Taliana could practice until she was satisfied and Miri always ended up with more than satisfactory hairstyles. (Read: Miri would heckle Taliana and Taliana would tug a bit too hard until they were both happy with the result.)

'What other houses are there?' asked Miri. 'I know that there's four and I know that their colours are red, blue, green and yellow but Liam didn't really explained. Either that or I didn't listen.'

She paused, tilting her head which warranted a gentle smack from Taliana and a Stay Still! 'It's a fifty-fifty percent chance.'

Kenneth shot her a look.

Miri relented. 'Fine. Twenty-eighty.'

Actually, she didn't even remember the house colours and had been reminded of them when she passed a few compartments with students that were already in their uniform but she wasn't about to tell her friends that.

(Miri liked to think that to make up for her memory problem, a higher power had blessed her with the ability to notice a pattern and put together a puzzle in the fastest time possible. It was more likely that she had perfected the two skills over the years but it was nice to have someone else to blame once in a while.)

Kenneth hummed. By now, he was lying flat on his back. Smart. It was an eight hours yet. 'There's Ravenclaw, which is basically the smart house; Gryffindor, for brave and adventurous students; Hufflepuff, kind and hardworking and Slytherin, ambitious and resourcefulness. The houses even have their own mascot. Eagles for Ravenclaws, lions for Gryffindors, badgers for Hufflepuffs and snakes for Slytherins.'

'Blue, red, yellow and green, right?' asked Miri, counting the four colours on her fingers as she said them.

'Yeah.'

'Actually, we were discussing which house we'd get into before you came in,' said Taliana. 'Ken here says that I'm a shoo-in for Hufflepuff-'

'-because you're the most welcoming and the only one of us to finish your homework before school ends for the day,' Kenneth finished. 'We were debating on whether I'd be a Ravenclaw or a Slytherin. I'm leaning more towards Slytherin.'

Taliana nodded sagely. 'Yeah, we all know how the green really makes your eyes pop.'

Kenneth swatted angrily in Taliana's general direction. 'We agreed to never bring that up again.'

'You agreed,' she retorted. 'I just hummed and nodded.'

'Which meant you agreed.'

'Which meant,' Taliana gave an evil grin, 'that I felt like humming and nodding my head at the very moment you proposed to never speak of the-'

'Don't you dare!'

'-Eyeshadow Experimentation of '14,' she finished loudly over her friend's various pleas and death threats, grinning at the devastated NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! that Kenneth produced.

Miri cackled as she remembered how Kenneth had asked her to apply makeup on him Because I want to see how I look with smokey eyes. Being the only one out of their friend group to have experience with putting on stage makeup, surely Miri was the one to turn to.

Little did the young, sweet, innocent boy knew, Miri despised makeup down to her very last nose hair. Absolutely hated it.

She hated it so much that she mesmerised the multiple synonyms of the word, just for the dramatic effect. Eg: She detested how her foundation seemed to strangle her very pores, abhorred how the neddle-like brushes poked at her skin harshly and she just loathed, loathed, loathed the entire process.

(Excluding the lips. Lips were the only part of Miri she'd willingly put makeup on. Probably because she didn't completely suck at it. It was basically just a real life coloring book.

Also, lip gloss. Miri loved lip gloss.)

The product was pretty, she'd admit, but she felt more plastic than human every single time she subjected herself to stage makeup.

As such, she didn't have knowledge nor experience with makeup, never applying her own unless she absolutely had to, and even that was a rare occurrence, a once in a pink moon sort of thing. Why should she, when there were a battalion of skilled adults ready to take up the task?

But did Miri Cheng tell Kenneth Horatius Murphy this teensy-weensy, but ever so crucial, little tiny detail?

Absolutely not. She needed the practice and Liam and Maria have long since honed the skill of swiping the brush to the other end of the room to avoid the dreaded Miri Makeover.

One badly chosen shade of dark green eyeshadow, a terrible attempt of eyeliner and a lot (and I mean a lot) of age-appropriate cursing whenever Miri stabbed Kenneth in the eyes with a mascara wand later, Kenneth had officially been Miri-fied into Mike Wazowski: Zombie Apocalypse Racoon Edition which was... actually an improvement from her previous attempts. (She still got nightmares about the Baboon's Butt sometimes.)

Kenneth begged to differ.

'What the hell is that!' he yelped, his reflection mirroring his actions as he thoroughly examine the acidic dumpster fire that was his face. 'I look like-'

'A masterpiece?' Miri sighed mocking. She knew that she was bad, but at least she didn't go overboard with the blush this time. Much. Just a tad.

...okay, so maybe she did, and Kenneth was actually Mike Wazowski: Zombie Apocalypse Racoon-Baboon Hybrid Edition.

Kenneth's eye's bulged out, a terrible combination of pink and green and black all swirled into one angry ten-year-old face. 'Mas- Masterpiece?! You call this your masterpiece? It's a catastrophe! A trainwreck! An abomination to mankind!'

'Hey! You don't need to go that far!' Miri tried to defend herself. 'And besides, it's not that bad! At least I decided to forgo the cat eyes.'

'Small mercies,' he muttered.

Taliana paused in her cackling long enough to say Smile! brightly as she permanently captured Kenneth's humiliation on her camera.

Needless to say, that was the last time anyone who wasn't her mother or part of her choir brought up the word 'makeup' in her presence. And if Taliana's camera mysteriously went missing for a week or two, no one ever brought it up.

'You'd probably in Slytherin,' said Taliana to her friend. She was now attempting to create two Dutch Braids since the French Braids had fallen through. Taliana strained to remember the instructions she got from the YouTube video. 'I mean, ambition? Resourcefulness? You're literally the definition of it.'

'Oh, yeah,' added Kenneth. 'I mean, think about it. Your ambition is to become an actress-'

'Successful actress, Ken,' Miri interrupted. She gestured her arms open wide in a dramatic flourish. 'I already am an actress.'

Kenneth shook his head. 'A successful actress,' he said, eyes going comically wide at the word 'successful', 'and we already know how good you are at thinking and lying convincingly on the spot.'

He looked at Taliana, 'That counts as resourcefulness, right?'

Taliana nodded. 'Oh, and when she stashed Lionel behind her trolley school bag for hide and seek?' She paused in her braiding to give a chef's kiss. 'Genius.'

About three years ago, the teacher had allowed them to play hide and seek since it was post-exams anyway and they were a bunch of hyperactive kids that hated school. One random student was chosen to go out of the classroom to count to a hundred while five lucky students would rely on their friends to help them be the last one missing.

Lionel (the smallest in their class) was one of the chosen ones and while they didn't really have much of a relationship past friendly acquaintances, she had the brilliant idea of hiding him between her humongous trolley school bag and the wall, with an empty bag to cover a crouching Lionel's head. Because she didn't have any obvious giveaways (like maybe, oh I don't know, piles of meticulously organised books on her lap to hide a person under her desk [looking at you, Taliana]), he was never found. The teacher had to end the game and she was hailed as a hero until the end of the term. And a longer more after that too.

'I think the least likely for you would be Gryffindor,' said Taliana. 'Don't get me wrong, you've got a lot of courage but from what I've heard, Gryffindors are all pretty impulsive.'

'And you're not the sort of person to just leap in without thinking,' Kenneth continued.

'What about Ravenclaw though?' asked Miri. 'I mean, I may not be the resident school genius but I did always got a spot in the top tens.'

Kenneth squinted at her, mind seeming to examine that piece of information from every angle before nodding. 'It's a possibility, I suppose. But not a very big one. Ravenclaw's not just about being smart and having top marks, you know?'

She frowned. 'What? I thought you said that it was, and I quote, "the smart house"'

'Umm, no. I said it was basically the smart house.' He crossed his arms. 'Big difference.'

Miri rolled her eyes as Kenneth's genius diva persona came out once again. 'Alright. What's the difference then?'

Taliana secured her first braid in a hairband before starting on the other one. 'In a way, Ravenclaw is more of the house of learning than the house of smart people. It's just that society makes us memorise a bunch of useless stuff we won't remember in like,' she paused her little rant to breathe and think of the proper timespan, 'ten days and call it learning.'

Miri scoffed. 'Ten days? Make it ten minutes.'

Kenneth recognised the signs of another impending Taliana rant about the stupid requirements of society and quickly took over the conversation. 'Ravenclaw is the house that values people who want to know more about something, whether it be something useful like how to do your laundry or an old dead thing like fan language. As long as you're willing to learn and you don't really fit into the other houses, Ravenclaw will be proud to have you.'

'And if you don't fit into any of the Hogwarts houses,' said Taliana, 'you'll be in Hufflepuff because the founder, Helga, was the only one to accept everyone as they were. Honestly, though, everyone should be more like her.'

She sighed with admiration. 'Lovely woman, unfortunate name.'

'Not as unfortunate as Miriam, I bet,' Miri grumbled. 'I'll admit, it'll serve me well when I'm like,' she counted on her fingers like a toddler would, frowned before throwing her hands up in defeat, 'seventy-four but not a second before then. And who knows if I'll even live that long.'

Taliana and Kenneth braced themselves for yet another rant about the unfairness of her unusual name as opposed to her siblings' relatively normal ones.

'I mean, William's a good name. Strong. Classic. A few kings have even been named that and there's like a bunch of nicknames to choose from it like Will, Bill, Liam.'

Kenneth moulded his right hand to resemble a mouth and started mocking Miri with it. Taliana stifled a laugh.

'And Marianne's sweet. The name, not the person,' she clarified quickly. 'A bit old fashion but at least she can have a lot of modern nicknames for it. Like there's Mary, or Marie with an 'ie' and there's Anne. There's even Annie or if you're like my sister, thank god you're not we wouldn't be friends otherwise, and you want to be super extra special-'

Miri noticed Taliana's silent laughter and turned to face Kenneth, catching him red-handed in mimicking her rant. 'Hey!'

He immediately dropped his hands. 'I'm sorry,' he cried, 'but I have that entire monologue etched into my nightmares. You repeat it like every single month.'

Miri crossed her arms and huffed. 'Hmph! But fine. I guess it's to be expected.'

Miri slumped down into her seat. Reaching into her carry-on, she retrieved her eye mask, removed her glasses and slapped it on. 'Not that I don't have any more questions on how the Wizarding World operates, because trust me, I do, but we have like seven hours ahead of us and I'm not gonna ask any more of them until it inevitably causes me problems in the future.'

Kenneth nodded. 'So the usual, then.'

Taliana frowned. 'How many times has that solution gotten you into trouble again?'

Miri glared. Taliana stuck her tongue out. Miri glared harder. Taliana didn't care.

'Besides,' Miri continued, choosing to lose this battle, 'we basically know everything about each other already so I don't have to make people like me enough to put up with me for seven years and I can just sleep. Wake me up when we have like a half-hour left?'

Taliana nodded while Kenneth shot her a thumbs up and a wide grin.

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There was something shaking Miri, pulling her away from sweet blissful sleep. So she smacked it. But being half asleep, it wasn't up to her usual standards.

The shaking increased. Miri hurled her heavy carry-on at it's direction.

'OWWWW!' someone howled. 'Why am I the one that always gets hurt? It wasn't even me this time!'

'Miri,' came another voice, 'it's time to get up.'

'Ughhhhhhhh...'

'Come on, Mimi. You told us to wake you up-'

'uGHHhhhHHH...'

Taliana huffed. Plan B, then. 'Fine. If you don't want any pancakes...'

Miri perked up. 'Pancakes?'

Kenneth smirked. 'Yeah. I heard that the Great Hall in Hogwarts serves pancakes every single meal.'

'I heard that they serve it whenever you want,' Taliana added.

Miri shot up, filled with energy and desire. 'I want pancakes! I want pancakes for the rest of my life!'

Kenneth smiled at her predictability. 'Well if you want it...'

'...you'll have to get dressed in your uniform and get to Hogwarts first,' finished Taliana.

Miri grabbed her carry-on from the floor and shoved past them, desperate to get to the bathroom, change and eat her pancakes.

Back in the compartment, the two high-fived. Taliana shook her head in amusement.

Kenneth chuckled. 'Works every time.'

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welcome, glorious people, back to this train wreck.
not literally, of course, otherwise this chapter would've taken quite a turn.

i hope that you're having a wonderful day
because i certainly am.
next chapter: hogwarts ahoy!