【 CHAPTER ONE 】
happy birthday
( — WELCOME TO YOUR LIFE
THERE'S NO TURNING BACK )

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If there was one thing Miri Cheng knew, it was that she was the laziest person she would ever meet. Unfortunately, she was also a perfectionist, and those two qualities combined were a disaster and a half just waiting to explode in someone's face. Most likely hers.

Her solution to the not-really-minor problem was simple: 1) Make a life plan with plenty of wriggle room and 2) Stick to it at all cost. An easy two-step strategy that would be impossible to diverge from.

After replacing 'Be the best at future job. Earn high salary. Pay off college debts.' with 'Brush up on acting skills. Hire agent. Audition for big role. Get name out there. Be famous and rake in cash.' in her notebook, Miri scanned it and nodded in satisfaction. Her goal was to earn as much dough as possible before she died of mass sugar consumption or other causes. Whichever came first.

The simple version of her plan was: Get good grades in school → Get into good college → Get degree in performing arts → Get good job → Work hard(ish) → Retire. It wasn't a very glamorous life, but it would be enough.

Under her plan (and backup plan, and backup backup plan) were her Dos and Don'ts.

i.e.: Do learn to be more sympathetic and reign in temper. Don't change yourself for people who pressure you to be 'better' and 'more likeable'. (No turning into a welcome mat. Slap them instead.) Do learn as much as you can cram into your brain. Don't overwork. Do stretch more. Don't pet a stray animal. (They have fleas.) Do make lots of friends. (They'll help you in the future.) Don't Fall In Love.

Simple things.

(Miri was convinced that the second child of her family was cursed with a horrible love life. After all, her grandmother and mother were both the middle kid.

You may be thinking 'And where's the proof of this so-called curse?' and Miri was more than happy to pull out the PowerPoint presentation on how her grandparents' marriage was more of a constant war zone of shouting and screaming and complaining and blaming. It wasn't the ideal location to raise a child in. (For those who couldn't read between the lines, the Jackson family's townhouse was a nightmare to live next to and actual hell to live in.)

And even with this, some of you might think 'Alright, so they're arguing like an old married couple. What gives?' to which Miri would pull up another presentation on how her parents lived separately, and in their respective parent's houses no less. And to add to that, her dad was always borrowing money from her workaholic mom to gamble away or buy cigarettes, meaning that her mom had to work twice as hard to support her family.

[In sharp contrast, Miri's Aunt Mabel and Uncle Vincent were both happily married to their respective partners. So yes, a curse. If Liam could attend a magical school and practice Bibiddi-Bobbidi-Boo for most of the year, what's to say that some petty old guy didn't hold a grudge against one of her ancestors?]

So excuse Miri for having a jaded outlook on 'love'.

And because she wasn't sure if Liam shared any blood with them at all, she couldn't draw a final conclusion on whether or not the curse would fall on her or Maria. It wouldn't be a stretch to think that Liam was actually her fifth cousin twice removed on her mother's side or something. After all, she was convinced that everyone was related to at least ninety per cent of strangers they bumped into on the street.

Also, if Liam wasn't related to them at all (highly unlikely but oh well) but Miri is still the one with no love life whatsoever, maybe the may-or-may-not exist curse would skip over Maria. She knew for a fact that her little sister was quite taken with the idea of falling in love with someone and if having a curse placed on her was what it took to protect Maria from it, so be it.

In conclusion, dating and the whole lovey-dovey shebang were a big red flag, and Miri had taken many precautions against anyone who might have even the slightest desire to pursue her. Everything from her bad attitude and violent personality and tendency to hit with lots of strength, she would not allow herself to go through the horrors that came with attempts on finding her 'one true love'. Nothing would distract her from executing her plan and giving her mom the life she deserved.)

Unfortunately, she was just a kid, and life was a massive pain in the butt.

This could not be more evident when a dark-skinned woman with the most horrendous fashion sense appeared in front of her house on her birthday. Miri couldn't help but stare incredulously at the woman (who was wearing robes of all things), smiling at her frowning-in-confusion grandad who had answered the doorbell. (Ah! He's noticed the Halloween getup too.) In a lilting Irish accent, the woman said, 'Good morning, Mister...?'

'Jackson,' her grandad provided curtly.

'Mister Jackson. I am Professor Nelia Horn, the Charms professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and I am here to deliver a letter of acceptance to a Ms Miri Cheng. I believe that she is your granddaughter?'

'Yes,' said her grandad, relaxing at that bit of information. This wasn't his first rodeo. He gestured for the woman to come inside and directed her to take a seat in the chair directly opposed to the couch Miri was situated on. 'This is Miri. Miri, this is Professor Horn. She's here to talk to you.' 

The silent Behave! in his tone was plain.

Then, deciding to give the two some privacy, he said, 'Would you like any tea, Professor? Or do you prefer coffee?'

'Tea, please. Two spoons. Thank you.' The woman's eyes scanned the title of Miri's book, lips taking on a gentle curl. 'Famous Five, huh? I used to love those books. I loved all of Enid Blyton's works, actually.'

'They're amazing,' she agreed. Deciding not to waste both of their time, Miri said, 'Cut to the chase. My brother Liam's a wizard so I already know about the Wizarding World, and my answer about the school is no. Especially if I have to wear those.' Miri gestured towards the tasteless black robes.

It wasn't that she was rude, she reasoned. It was just that she was sure the professor didn't sign up for working during the summer, and she probably had other places to be. And it was quite obvious on what the woman wanted to talk to her about- perks of eavesdropping and having prior knowledge to the magical community. (Thank you, Liam.)

And while it sounded like a real hoot to live at the castle, she didn't want anything to come between her and her plan, even if she has to hit her problems with a frying pan to get rid of it.

She returned her attention to her book, eyes drinking in the described scenario even as she declared, 'I have my life planned out to the T and I am not going to let magic of all things to stop me.'

Professor Horn looked stunned. From the speech the last hocus pocus guy gave Liam six years ago, Miri could deduct that there was a small number of rejections, if there were at all.

At that moment, her grandad chose to enter the room with the woman's tea, her brother and sister following behind him. Liam's eyes widened at the guest.

'Professor Horn!' he greeted, surprised. 'What are you doing here?'

Shocked expression still on her face, the woman answered, 'I'm not sure.' Blinking hard as if to restart her brain and regain her composure, Professor Horn studied Miri with new interest.

'Hmm,' the woman said thoughtfully, tilting her head to the side. 'Are you certain of your decision, Ms Cheng? For your sake, I do hope you change your answer.'

Miri nodded, confident in her decision. 'I'm sure.'

The professor grimaced, much to Miri's confusion. It wasn't unlike the expression her brother had made when Miri made her first omelette. It was gooey with too many spices and most likely the cause of his stomachache later on that day. 'Very well. Professor McGonagall will come by tomorrow to reason with you. Good day, Miss Cheng.'

Professor Horn rose and shook hands with her grandad. 'Thank you for your time, Mister Jackson. Mr Cheng, I'll see you in September.'

The woman turned to face Miri once more, with what looked like pity on her face. 'Miss Cheng, I have some advice for you- Brace yourself for tomorrow.'

And with that, the woman took her leave, too distracted muttering incoherently to notice the cup of tea her grandad set down on the table in front of her. Liam shoved Miri's legs off the couch ('Rude!' she exclaimed.) and sat down, Maria following a second later, curiosity apparent on both faces.

'So,' said Liam,' why was my professor here to see you?'

Miri deadpanned at him. 'Hmm, I'm not at all sure why a magical professor who can perform magic would find me on my eleventh birthday to ask me to attend a magic school. No clue at all, brother dearest.'

'You're a witch?' Miri didn't even have time to deny it before Liam lit up. 'You're a witch! You're coming to Hogwarts with me. Oh, Merlin! I can show you all the secret passageways and I can finally brag about you to Teddy! Wait. You and his godbrother are the same age! You guys could be friends! But probably only if you're in the same house.'

'Willy.' The boy didn't react.

'Oh! House! I wonder what'll you get into? Ravenclaw? I mean, you're smart but at the same time, not really. It would be super cool if you were in the same house as me though. Hufflepuff's off the table, that's for sure. You're not kind or hardworking.'

Offended even though it was true, Miri tried again. 'Liam.'

'Gryffindor? Possibly but I think you're too spiteful for that. Then again, you just might spite yourself into that house just because it's uniform is red. Nah, it's Slytherin. But you're too impulsive. Huh. You suit none of the Houses. Which mean you might actually be a Hufflepuff. But then Teddy will corrupt you and I can't let that happen.'

Miri slapped her hand against the teen's mouth, effectively getting his attention. 'WILLAM CHENG!' she hissed. 'I am NOT going to HockSnots-'

'Hogwarts.'

'-whatever, because that's not included in my plan.'

'Ah, yes,' said Maria patronisingly. 'Your oh-so-amazing plan I've never seen even though we share a room. What are you going to do when you're twenty-five again? Travel around the world?' Her sister scoffed. 'Please.'

'Shut up, Marianne.'

'Or what?'

'Or I'll tell Kayla that it was you who ruined Aunt Cedrella's makeup.'

Miri earned a glare for that but the threat of an angry cousin on her tail managed to subdue Maria.

'And anyway,' said Miri, 'I'm not going. They'd have to drag me by my feet for me to go attend abracadabra classes.'

'Umm... Mimi...' Liam said awkwardly, 'I don't know how to break it to you but...we do that anyway... for the past four years...'

She rolled her eyes. 'Only in the mornings. They'd have to haul me off to every class and from what I've heard of HorseWags-'

'Hogwarts.'

'-it's a pretty big castle. I doubt they'd want to babysit me twenty-four-seven.'

'I wouldn't bet on it.' Liam turned so only Maria could see him mouth 'magic', winking as he did.

Maria hid an amused smile. She couldn't wait for her sister to get what's coming to her.

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'So,' said her mother over dinner, 'what's new?'

Sending telepathic messages to her siblings, Miri hoped that none of them would tell their mother about the magic woman. She wasn't going to go and she didn't need another person pestering her to change her mind.

'Miri got accepted into Hogwarts,' said Liam, careful to avoid the murderous look he got from his sister.

Her mother gasped. 'Oh, Miri,' she said. 'Is that true?'

'Unfortunately.' Miri began playing with her mushrooms. Nasty things.

'Wait.' Her mother furrowed her eyebrows. 'Why haven't you shown any sign of magic then. Didn't Liam's professor say something about magical children accidentally doing magic when they're young and have no control over it?'

Miri's eyes lit up. 'You're right!' she practically sang. 'I haven't shown any signs of mag...ic...'

A thought occurring to her, Miri trailed off. A look of horror replaced her excited expression. 'Shit. I have.'

Liam's head snapped to her direction. 

'What?' he asked, hands messaging his neck, silently vowing not to do that ever again. 'When did this happen?'

It was Maria who answered him. 'Several times when you were at school. We just thought that it was residue magic from when you were actually young. Sorry, but,' she shrugged, 'we didn't know what sort of laws the magic world has.'

'Why didn't you tell me? I could've told you that that's not how magic works.' Liam shook his head at them.

Miri and Maria looked at each other. 'Oops?' they offered.

Miri transferred her mushrooms to her sister's plate. Her mother looked at her disapprovingly. Miri pretended not to notice. 

'Well, using your logic, Will, the magic one could've been either me or Maria, and we wouldn't have confirmation before today either so... kinda worthless.'

'Not really.' Liam knocked his red boiled eggs against the dining table a few times before peeling the shell off. 'Accidental magic only happened when someone is super emotional or want something really badly.'

Miri quirked an eyebrow. 'So I'm either super emotional or really want floating fruits? Because that what happens every single time.'

'Errrr...' Liam was a lost for words. 'Yes. You are very emotional about floating fruits. Just curious, what type of fruit was it?'

'Buddha's hand.'

'What?'

'Buddha's. Hand. It kinda looks like yellow disembodied tentacles.'

'Mm-hmm...' Liam bit into his egg. 'Well regardless, you're a witch. And you're going to Hogwarts whether you like it or not.'

Miri smiled without any real humour. 'I'm sure.'

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a/n

buddha's hands. you're welcome.
next chapter, miri and mcgonagall meet. 

that'll be fun to write...