two.

. . .

One class I absolutely loved was art. I loved art because I could go to art high as shit and my drawings would reflect my mental state. Not sure how the teacher didn't catch it by now, but shit, if I got to do the two things I loved with no issue, I'd take it.

Art was subjective. Art was a window into what Hell was like. 

Art was pain. 

Art was hell.  

Art was a physical representation of the pain that colonized my body and soul. And sometimes, the pain was so fucking intense, I did not want to live.

That's where the drugs came into play. In a life where everything was spiraling out of control, they helped me regain my grasp on my sanity.

I tried keeping an aloof personality, but truth be told, I was in pain, but also so so lonely. I wanted a friend group with other girls. I wanted to do typical teenaged things, but the way I presented myself, it was no wonder no girl wanted to befriend me. No one wants to fraternize with the druggie loser, but that's the narrative I presented and that's what everyone ran with.

Might as well own up to the goddamned rumors.

That, and the fact that every girl thought she had a chance with Mateo Delgado, mortal enemy of mine, equaled a friendless Willa. I shook the thoughts from my head, thinking about what-ifs did nothing productive.

"What's that supposed to be?" His voice brought me out of my reverie. Speak of the devil.

I loved art; unfortunately, this was one of the many classes I shared with Mateo Delgado. I did my best to stay out of his goddamned way, but this boy did everything he could to be in mine.

"I'm doing the assignment?" I rolled my eyes, readjusting the grip I had on the pencil in my hand. Art was my safe space. I wasn't going to let an encounter with him ruin that for me.

"Nah, nah," he leaned closer, "it looks really good." I looked at him through narrow eyes, trying to assess whether he was serious or just playing a cruel joke on me. I couldn't help but focus on his cologne— it was subtle, but strong. It was oddly comforting.

Wait what? That was strange. This was Delgado... nothing about him was supposed to be 'comforting' to me. Chalking it up to the weed, I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

"Uh, thanks," I muttered, not wanting to engage with him any further. We had an explosive argument literally hours ago and he wanted to pretend like it never happened? No thanks. I wanted to get lost in my drawing, why the hell was he still talking?

He looked at my face for a second longer, and it looked like he wanted to say something, but a second later, his expression changed.

"Keep it up, Willa."

I nodded, disengaged in the conversation, whether it was the weed or the ambiance of the class, I let it go. I put my headphones in and resumed my drawing. My shitty Walkman was surprisingly working well, and I was not going to mess with the technolog. Besides, this hot and cold relationship with Mateo was confusing and I wanted no part in it. The children of past lover are destined to be mortal enemies. I would do well to remember that.

I didn't comment on it, but Mateo's eyes occasionally flickered up to me and my work. A part of me was exhilarated at the feeling but another, larger, part was cautious. I did not need to carelessly open Pandora's Box.

As I was working, the art teacher made her rounds, checking on each table and group. I loved her. Her feedback was amazing, and her personality was so inviting and warm. She was my favorite teacher here.

Once she got to my table, she whispered, "Willa, this looks amazing! Go ahead and clean up, honey. We're about to have a fire drill that'll take us to the end of the period."

Nodding in gratitude, I began clearing my area, I looked over to Mateo, but he was already looking at me. He gave me a small smile that I did not return, but instead, began hastily stuffing my supplies in my backpack.

. . .

The fire drill was a fucking waste of time.

It went off at the beginning of the next class period, as soon as I walked in. I walked out with my class and waited for the 'all clear', but when we were reentering the building, slipped past my teacher to smoke.

Hiding in the large bushes, I light the cigarette and took a large inhale. The smoke took control over my lungs and calmed my anxiety, and I threw my head back. Closing my eyes, I slowly exhaled.

Smoking was a habit I picked up from Briggs. He always warned me not to do as he did, but as he said, but if he could survive and chain smoke, so could I.

I had been outside for most of the class period, not realizing how many cigs I had finished in my tenure outside. I hated math anyways. What the hell was I supposed to use it for? The only math I needed to do was addition and subtraction to see whether I had enough money for food, transport, and kush.

I was lost in my thoughts, but the loud crunch of leaves forced me to hastily hide my lighter and put out the newly lit cigarette. As the footsteps got closer and closer, I mentally prepared myself to get reprimanded for my smoking, but then I heard the giggling.

I paused and carefully looked around. I had snuck out of the building and hid in the large bushes, but if they came any closer, I would be spotted. Since the footsteps didn't sound like an administrator, I was pissed at the interruption.

A hungry, high, and cigarette-craving Willa Evens was a death threat to anyone in her path.

"C'mon!" That was a girl's voice, and by sounds of it, she was engaging in activities I did not want to see nor partake in. "What're you looking around for?" She whined, but I didn't hear the reply. Instead, I quickly ducked out of the way but made the mistake of looking back at the couple.

I could see curly black hair and a tall, lean figure kissing a tall girl. After realizing it was Mateo and some girl, I quickly turned back around and attempted to walk away.

No need to interrupt.

Shit hit the fan when I walked inside the building, though. I thought I was in the clear, but someone caught me.

Willa Evans." Closing my eyes in exasperation, I turned around. Shit.

"Yes?" I looked at the lady with the walkie-talkie, stationed by the door I had just walked in from. How the hell did she know my name?

"Where were you?" I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to answer. "You've been missing since the fire drill. Admin has been looking for you!"

"Please just let me go get my food, it's lunch time," I muttered, not wanting to engage. That was how my day was going; I did not want to engage with anyone. Why didn't people see that?

"Sorry," the teacher looked stern, "but I can't excuse you from this. You are not above the rules. We need to go to the office."

"Look, I made amistake, just let me go." I crossed my hands together; adults were so annoying.Since I was facing the glass door, I saw Mateo and the girl walking back to thebuilding. Seeing the panic on my face and the back of the teacher I was talkingto, he said something to the girl and quickly pushed her out of sight beforewalking inside the building.

It was deadly silent in the hallway as the teacher looked at Mateo. He took turns staring at us both, and I pleaded with him to see the gravity of the situation.

Fuck, I did not want him to think I snitched on them or something. The hall monitor looked at me and then squinted her eyes at him. She narrowed her brows in thought before saying, "were you two together?"

"I'm sorry, what the fuck?" I scoffed, clearly aggravated. Before I could do any further damage, Mateo quickly intervened. "We just got out of lunch tutoring, here's our pass." He brushed pass me, and my mouth went dry.

She took his pass and carefully looked at it. "Your pass looks legitimate, but you both have been reported missing since the fire drill. Teachers are mandated reporters—so, both of you, follow me."

I made eye contact with Mateo and mouthed a quick what the fuck?! to him before sighing. His expression was dark, like he didn't know what to do or believe, but after a moment, he relaxed his shoulders.

"I don't have all day. Follow me, now." The hallway monitor glared at us both and ushered us to the office.

As we walked side by side, I couldn't help but notice how much taller he was than me. His hair only helped the intimidation and height. He easily towered over my five-foot-five form, and I struggled to keep his pace. His posture was also so much better. It made me conscious of my own slouch and I straightened up.

Of course, I didn't make it blatantly obvious that I was checking him out, but the small quirk of his lips told me I wasn't as subtle as I thought. Feeling my face burn in embarrassment, I averted my eyes, but he elbowed me and when I was about to verbally retaliate, the joy and mirth in his eyes made me falter.

The only reason my heart was beating so fast was because of the drugs in my system. Nothing more, nothing less. This was Mateo Delgado, the sole reason for the fuckery in my life. What the hell was I doing, flirting with him? Besides, I was going to graduate and never see him again. No need to pretend like we were friends.

As we neared the principal's office, my false confidence started to falter. I could not afford to get in trouble anymore. The hall monitor opened the door, and let us in. The SLAM! of the door as she left, was an echo of the situation at hand.

"Sit down, both of you." The principal was a man in his 40s. Never really bothered to figure out his name, even though I went to this school for the past three years. Glancing over at Mateo, I reluctantly sat down.

He scooted his chair next to mine, but I leaned away from him. I felt my anxiety building; this whole situation was blown out of proportion, and I wanted to get out.

"Do you realize the severity of your actions?" The principal started, his tone disappointed. "You both disappeared after a state mandated fire drill."

"Sir, I checked in with my teacher," the lie rolled off my tongue. The high was wearing off now, leaving behind only unfiltered anger and rage. Mateo stared at me; I could feel his eyes burning a hole into the side of my head. If I looked at him, I would lose all my cool. I could not look anywhere but at my principal.

The principal looked at me for a moment. "No, you did not, Ms. Evans."

I narrowed my eyes. "Yes, yes I did. I checked in with her during the drill."

"We can go back and forth all day, child. You did not check in with her after the drill was over. That's what you're in here for." Realizing I wouldn't give him anything, he turned to Mateo.

"Mr. Delgado, were you with her?" At Mateo's shrug, he continued, "You are both in different classes. The only logical assumption I have is that you skipped together."

My anxiety tended to manifest itself in the form of anger; it would do me well to keep my mouth shut.

"And after smelling the smoke that you're reeking of," the principal stated at me. "I can only assume you both were smoking marijuana on school grounds."

"Sir-" he cut Mateo off.

"I'm sorry, but I really don't think you both realize how severe your actions were. Not only are you the responsibility of the school when in attendance, you are both 18 years old. Any mistake you make now will have serious consequences. You need to think before you act!"

"If you would let me speak-" again, he cut Mateo off. 

"Again, I don't think you fully understand this, Mr. Delgado. Know that this is a very one-sided conversation. I'm going to give you Out of School Suspension for the rest of the day to think about your actions. Additionally, to make up for missing part of the school day, I am assigning you both Saturday detention. You need to make up your missing hours, and I will also need to contact your parents," his eyes flickered towards me, a quick grimace flashing on his face. "Or, guardians," he hastily added.

"That makes no sense!" I loudly exclaimed, my hands shaking. "There is absolutely no reason for you to give us OSS for the rest of the day and a weekend detention? Some of us have jobs."

"No, Ms. Evans, I don't think you understand. Skipping school during a fire drill can be grounds for expulsion, but I am being lenient." At the end of his sentence, his tone got firm and angry. Nah, screw that.

"Do we have to do the same Saturday detention? Or can we serve it on different days?" Mateo spoke up, looking like he just wanted to get this over with.

The principal thought about it for a moment. "I would prefer for you to serve the detention on the same day, but if that is not possible, we can arrange otherwise. If you end up serving together, you can think of it as a team building exercise. Lord knows you both need it."

My anger erupted and she knew no bounds.

"Are you kidding me? My problem with him isn't going to be resolved with fucking detention!" I shouted, pushing out of my chair. The words exploded, I had no filter and no reservations. "Why the fuck are all the adults in this goddamned building so concerned with us becoming friends? I will never, ever in my life, so long as I live, ever befriend Mateo Delgado because he is the reason my life is shit!"

At the end of my rant, I was breathing heavy. I honestly didn't even know where that came from. All I knew was that I was triggered, and I needed to get out. But the moment those words came out of my mouth, I wanted to take them back. I was mortified, ashamed of my reaction. When I forced myself to look over at Mateo, a part of me unwillingly wilted.

He was stunned into silence. Slowly, his brown eyes, which had regarded me with a hidden softness before, glazed over with pure, unfaltering anger. His face hardened, and I could feel the atmosphere in the room turn cold. He then turned to the principal and the way he disregarded me sent a pang in my heart, but I ignored it.

"If that's the case, then I would prefer to serve mine on a different day." Mateo's voice was ice cold and my stomach dropped.

"No." The principal was firm. "Evidently, you both have problems to figure out. This will help you work out whatever issues you have. I don't care that you have family history. Work it out. We're a small town and we don't do that stuff here."

"What the fu-" Mateo cut me off.

"You gave us options; I'm choosing mine." He argued, also getting up from his chair.

"Mr. Delgado, I'm telling you what you're doing; not asking. Now go before I change it to Saturday detentions for the rest of the school year." He looked up adjusting his glasses, challenging us to say anything. When it was clear who won the argument, he gestured to the door.

"Go to class."

"Fuck this shit," I muttered and stomped my way out of his room, Mateo following me.

As we walked out into the hallway, out of sight from the main office, Mateo gave me a look. His eyes were very expressive and the soft look I unintentionally associated with him was gone.

This was Mateo Delgado. My anthesis; my oxymoron. Why were my emotions so convoluted when it came to him?

His scathing glare cut me to my core, but I didn't know why. "Huh, I was wondering when the bitch was gonna make an appearance again."

"Excuse me?" I retorted, all feeling of guilt vanishing. "Everything I said in that room was justified and you know it, Delgado."

"Yeah, but I was actually trying to befriend you, Evans!" He alternated between clenching his hands and running them over his face. "This hatred between us isn't our  fight! It's our parents!" I stared at him in amazement. What the absolute fuck.

"You're the one who constantly brings up my mother! You're the one who constantly gets in my fucking way— for the record, I try my best to stay out of yours!" He was about to yell back, but I wasn't done. Getting in his face, I made sure he heard every single word that was coming out of my mouth.

"I never wanted to be your friend. I don't even like you. I have my own shit to deal with," my voice cracked, and I stepped back. "Please just leave me alone."

He stared at me for a while, his lips in a firm line, his face emotionless. "You don't even like me?" He asked, his voice flat. At my shrug, he scoffed.

"Fine. If that's what you want."

And then he turned around and walked away. The heaviness in my stomach was back in full force and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why. 

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