Every loud bang,

Every goodbye,

Every fight,

It terrifies me.

Any loud bang could be a gun shot.

Any goodbye could be the last.

Any fight could be a disaster.

Every time I hear a bang,

Every time I say goodbye,

Every time I'm in a fight,

My anxiety goes up,

And I fear the worst.

No matter how hard I try to think possitive,

No matter how many times I tell my self it'll be all right,

No matter how much I reasure my self,

It doesn't change anything.

It doesn't get rid of the constant fear.

It doesn't calm me down.

It doesn't make me feel all right.

But I keep it inside.

Because if I try to talk,

I'll be a mess.

Because If I tell someone,

I'll just fear their reaction.

Because if I seak confort,

I'll find none.

But I'll be alright.

I'll just clench my fists,

take a deep breath,

and move on.

Because I can't let my fear hold me back,

Because I can't just break down,

Because I can't let people see me when I'm weak.

So I have to act like I'm ok.

Like nothings wrong,

And just keep going.

Even when I'm consumed by my thoughts,

I need to be able to push them to the side,

And just move on.

Like nothing's wrong.