Chapter dedication: -vegas-

Song recommendation for the chapter: Boulevard Of Broken Dreams - Green Day. 🎧🎶🎶

*

"It's been three weeks and she's not getting any better," Sutton said, one hand rubbing her belly, while the other one stirred her tea.

She was worried about her sister because ever since she learned of their father's death, Lee was lived on autopilot.

She slept a lot, baked pastries even when there was no need to. She rarely left the bakery, except for when she had to get something, but that was only at night. Rachel and Annie had called Sutton when they couldn't take it anymore. Lee rarely laughed and when she did, it didn't reach her eyes. The last time Sutton went to see her, they almost fought because Lee snapped at her.

She was seriously worried about Lee, which was why she called the meeting with Lee's friends. Even Lark had returned from her trip when she learned of their father's death and Lee's recent behavior.

Lark tapped the plastic table with her index finger, her eyes taking in the people walking on the sidewalk and the frosted glass that gave them the view of the busy street. Ever since December came, the weather became colder. It would be snowing any day now.

"I went to see her the other day, but she wouldn't say more than two words to me. She kept baking and baking, I thought she wanted to feed the whole of Harlem," Lark said.

Millie nodded, her lips turned down at the corners. "She falls asleep at random times, refuses to cry even when I needle her. It's like talking to a damned robot."

"And she won't talk about Christopher. I haven't seen him stop by when I go there." Rainy sniffed as she broke off a piece of her scone and chewed it. "Rachel and Annie also confirms that he's been absent. Do you think they broke up?"

"Why would they break up?" asked Lark. "She looked so happy the last time we spoke to each other."

"Ah, my sister was rude to him that night at the hospital and I don't know what happened between them after he drove her home."

"She probably pushed him away," Rainy remarked. "Lee push people away when she's sad, angry, or heartbroken. She did it to us after her break up with he-whose-name-shall-forever-remain-unspoken. She's just hurting."

"She wouldn't even cry!" Sutton rubbed her temple with her palm. "I just want my sister back. I am so worried that she would work herself into exhaustion. I don't want to lose her, too."

Since she was the closest to Sutton, Millie put one hand around her back and rubbed her arm with her palm in attempt to calm her down. The last thing they needed was two stressed sisters. Lee was enough at it was. Sutton was pregnant. The last thing she needed was stress.

"We will try to talk to her, okay?" Millie said. "I will personally see that she gets out of that place to take a breath of fresh air. It's okay to be worried, we all are. But you have to take it easy because of your baby."

"I know. Lee's the only family I have left."

Rainy placed her hand on Sutton's on the table. "You won't. I will make her let it all out even if we have to fight to do it. We have to see her first though. Are you coming with us?"

"Yes," Sutton said. "I need to be there to hold her when she finally let go. I want to offer her comfort the way she did with me."

Lark nodded. "That's good. What about Christopher?"

"What about him?" Millie frowned at Lark.

"We need to have a word with him is what I am saying. Lee must be also angry about his dissertation."

Sutton sighed. "One thing I learned about couples is that you can't interfere in their fights, you'll end up being the bad one once they settle their dispute. Besides, we don't really know what happened unless we talk to Lee."

They nodded in agreement. For few minutes, nobody said anything, each too buried in their worries to talk. Then when Sutton spoke, they all agreed to meet at the bakery the next morning to provide a untied front against Lee. Maybe she's break down and cry, or she would get angry and throw them out was yet to be seen.

But they would take anything if it took away that bland robotic look she wore nowadays.

*

Just as the smell of coffee hit her nose, Lee jerked out of her bed and ran to the bathroom. She fell on her knees, buried her face in the toilet to let out what little food was in her stomach. Her body shook with each bile that rose up her throat, dizziness swamped her vision and made her lightheaded for few minutes until the feeling of nausea passed.

She flushed the toilet, her back resting against the wall as she tried to catch her breath. Lee felt miserable. For five days now, she woke up the same way, her head buried in the toilet bowl in the morning and afternoon. Her whole body ached, she felt tired at every little thing she did; she woke up late and went to bed early. Sometimes in the afternoon, she dozed in the kitchen, unable to help it. It was as if an alien had suddenly done a hostile takeover of her body. She just wanted it to all end.

Pushing to her feet, Lee walked over to the sink to brush her teeth. After she was satisfied with her breath and the lack of putrid food in her mouth, she rinsed her mouth and flossed her teeth again. Then she stared at her reflection in the mirror.

The two large, dark circles under her eyes made her look like a raccoon. Her hair was tangled, greasy and unwashed for days. Her neck was longer and her collarbones were more visible. Even her cheeks looked hollow and sunken. Lee reached for the hem of her shirt and pulled it up over her head. She tossed it on the bathroom floor, turning this way and that to check her body. Her ribs were showing now, her tummy looked the same, but she was leaner in places she hadn't been before. The only thing that increased were her boobs; they were swollen and her nipples hurt when she touched them.

She sighed.

Her eating schedule was messed up because she sometimes forgot to eat while baking and when she did, she couldn't hold it down because she was always throwing it back up. The only thing that stayed in her belly was milk and sugar, nothing else. Maybe her lack of rest was the reason why, Lee didn't know, but she wanted everything to stop.

Forcing herself to look away from her reflection, Lee removed the rest of her clothing and entered the shower to bathe. After washing her hair as best as she could, she shut off the tap, grabbed a towel to wrap around her waist, then hurried out of the bathroom, into her apartment. After dressing in a loose top and dark sweats, she slipped her feet into her flip-flops and hurried down into the bakery.

The lunch break was over, but Lee wasn't worried because she got up in the midnight to bake cookies, make smoothies and fruity drinks. By the time she finished, the sky was already getting brighter, so she had gone back up to the apartment knowing Rachel would open for the day.

When she entered the kitchen, Rachel was typing on her phone, a small smile playing on her lips. Lee almost snapped at the girl, but bit her lip instead. Rachel was probably still mad about the yelling yesterday. Just because she left out the oven tray after washing it, Lee had blown up in her face and called her lazy. Rachel merely stared at her, shook her head, before walking out of the bakery.

"Good morning," Lee greeted her, her fingers twisting together.

Rachel looked up briefly, pocketed her phone, before grabbing a dishtowel. She began to wipe down the worktop. "Good morning," she mumbled.

"I'm sorry about yesterday."

Rachel stopped working, sighed and faced her. "I don't know what is going on with you, Lee, but I don't appreciate the way to speak to me or Annie these days. You're the owner of the place, I get it, but you shouldn't treat us like that. At first, I tried to be understanding that you were only angry about your father's death, but as time went on it got worse."

"I am not angry about anything."

"You are. When was the last time you did anything but sleep, bake, eat little food, repeat?"

Lee remained silent.

"Exactly!" Rachel threw her hands up. "You don't do things you enjoy anymore. It's as if I don't even know you anymore. You walk around quietly, not talking to anyone or interacting with people. You don't smile anymore. What's happening, Lee?"

Lee sighed as she turned away from Rachel to hide her expression. She wished she knew what to do or how to make everything better; everything was out of her control. "I am fine, Rachel. I don't get why everyone thinks otherwise. The bakery needs me, that's all. I have been neglecting my work since the beginning of November, I don't like it."

"I took care of the bakery even when you weren't around. That's no excuse, Lee, so think of another one. You're just so sad and withdrawn. Don't you think that you should see a—"

"I said I am fine!" She whirled around and sneered. "What would you know about feeling fine anyway? Your mother abandoned you when you were little and even your father doesn't want you, so you shouldn't preach about being fine to me."

Rachel drew back with a sharp intake of breath. Lee felt like a bitch immediately. She was just so tired of everyone asking if she was fine, but like Rachel didn't deserve what she just said.

"Rachel." She stepped towards her but stopped when Rachel shook her head. "I'm sorry."

She sniffed. "Just go back to your apartment, Lee. You'll be fine up there and we won't butt heads that way."

"Please."

"Go away!"

Lee pressed the back of her palm against her eyes until they turned red, yet no tears escaped them. It was as if everything suddenly dried up and her eyes became the Sahara desert in summer. She sighed again.

"I'm sorry, Rachel. I will go up stairs now."

She turned and almost bumped into Annie who looked so worried and angry at the same time. Lee brushed past her and ran up the stairs until she was in her room. She didn't stop until she was in front of the mirror in the bathroom. Lee fisted both hands and rammed it into the mirror repeatedly until the glass shattered and her knuckles were bloody.

Pain lanced through her, but no tears escaped from her eyes. Everything felt so bland and empty. Lee sat on the floor of the bathroom, her hands on either side of her thigh and closed her eyes. She was just so tired and needed to sleep.

She let herself drift off into the darkness that enveloped her every time she closed her eyes to sleep. Even in the abysmal darkness, she couldn't shake off that empty feeling.

A/N:

Poor, Ledia. She seemed to be spiraling out of control and don't know how to stop it.

QOTC: Why do you think Ledia is feeling this way?

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