Just a "Hi! Nice to meet you" was all Savannah said to Arianne, giving Ira the time to settle down the painting beside the shoecase. Done that, when Ira turned to introduce them to each other, she only took his hand and pulled him back into the apartment. For a second, she escaped tumbling over Arira and pulled Ira towards his room. And, Ira followed without a word. And, Arianne only stood by the wall, and watched hopelessly as the bedroom door shut on her face.
There was no way she could describe what or how she was feeling. The tumult in her heart was so terrible, she could not help falling to the floor, suddenly feeling too tired to stand up again and go into her room. Arira, who had escaped being smashed under Savannah's high heels, was hiding under a sofa. Seeing her Mamma be that way, even the little creature couldn't help coming out to try to cheer her up.
She tried getting on to her lap, but kept slipping on the satin of her dress. Arianne picked her up and put her away. Trying to get up, she found she had no strength left in her that could pull her up from the floor.
She sat back down, tired and tried composing herself. Why was she sad? Right the first day, when she drove towards this apartment, she knew such a day would happen. All these months, it didn't only because Savannah was away. She knew what she'd have to go through when she returned. Then, why was she sad? She knew of this day since long.
Arin rubbed a few stray tears that fell from her eyes and got up. Arira followed her as she walked into her room. Leaving the door unshut, Arira on the bed and herself still dressed in the partywear, she lodged underneath the bed sheets.
Soon, she burst out into tears. But, tears seemed nothing to express the anguish she was experiencing. She wanted to howl and scream with the pain and the ache of emptiness that resided in her heart, right at the place that she had reserved for just Ira.
How could this be? All these months? When Savannah wasn't here? When she was the one so important to him? When he died to spend each evening with her? The days she saw themselves come so close she considered their bond unbreakable? What about all those?
What about those unsaid promises his eyes had made? What about the silent communication that filled several gaps in between them? What about tonight? What about the auction? What about the dance?
"Don't stay away anymore. It's unbearable."
What about his words? What about...Arira? How could everything simply evaporate just in a moment?
Maybe, he really loved Savannah too much!
Was their love so passionate? So unavoidable? That the moment they saw each other, they had to rush to bed? And, the love-making with her? Was it so forgettable? Not passionate at all? Did she never satisfy him?
Then...why? Why did he come so close to her and fulfill all her dreams, be the only man she could love, when it was to take him just a second to sway away so far from her, she would be unable to even see him? Why did he make her feel so special, so wanted, so loved? Why? Why? Why?
Arira's little paw on her hair made her look up. Who knows whether little animals like her can understand the sadness of their loved ones and try to console them! But, Arira was doing that. Her face looked as if she was ready to cry with her. Her low meows sounded as if she was sad too.
Arianne sat up and taking her into her lap, caressed her fur. But, she wasn't ready to sleep. She crawled back out of her lap and for a while, chased her own tail on the bed, going round and round the same way. It made Arianne smile and when she put her hand back on her pet, she came to rest on the pillow beside hers.
She lay down too and kept petting Arira's head. "You know Mamma loves Daddy, don't you?" she whispered to the animal, "you know, right? I love him. And, I'll keep doing that." She got up from her bed once to collect her phone and headphones. Having started a song of her choice - the kind that made her cry more - she closed her eyes and tried falling asleep.
Ira woke her up before morning. "Why are your eyes swollen?" he asked as she pulled her headphones out. Before his question came to her ears, another sound came. A soft, low yet stinging groan coming from outside the room. "What's that sound?" she asked, rubbing her eyes.
"That's what I came to call you for," he said, his voice heavy, like he just woke from sleep, "it's Arira. Something happened to her."
"Arira!" Arin jumped out of the bed, "what happened to her?" She rushed out of her room, still in her last night's dress and smudged remnants of the makeup.
The little animal lay crooked on the floor, near the leg of a couch and kept groaning, as if in pain. "What's wrong, baby?" Arianne sat down beside her and tried lifting her up. As she lifted her head, the low groans suddenly and sharply increased in a high-pitched cri de coeur. "Oh," Arianne let go immediately and placed the tiny head back on the ground, "I'm so sorry, darling. I'm so sorry."
Helpless, she looked back at Ira who stared at her with the same helpless look. "What?" he asked, hoping she knew what had happened. "I don't know," she said, "I think her neck's broken. So, it hurts to lift her head up." "What now?" he asked, standing at the doorway to Arin's room.
"We need to take her to the vet. What's the time?"
"It's 5:00."
"Shit! When did this happen? How did this happen? How long has she been this way?" Her head ached from the crying last night. She found it hard to keep it upright. But, all that seemed to matter at that moment was Arira. "She slept in my bed last night. She wasn't even out here."
"She may have come out when you were asleep. I don't know how that happened. I found her basket far near that wall." He pointed at the wall that contained the main entrance door. "Like someone flung it away with their feet. Kicked it off, as if."
"Who'd do that?" Arin rested her head against the couch and petted Arira's back. The kitty still kept crying, moaning in pain. Suddenly, Arin remembered about Savannah. "Where's Savannah?" she asked, "could she know how this happened?"
"I don't think she'll know. She left long ago."
"Left?"
"Yes," Ira gave her a half-smile as if hurt by what he said, "I think right after I fell asleep."
"Oh," Arianne looked away, stopping the urge to cry. Stopping the urge to imagine Ira in bed with Savannah. Stopping the urge to tell him how badly she wanted him to take her to bed. Her...not Savannah!
"The veterinary wouldn't open until...8:00, I guess," she said, biting her lip to inhibit the tears from coming out, "we'd have to wait until then."
"It seems like she got thrown at something hard," the vet said when they took Arira to the animal hospital they had previously vaccinated her at, "like...where did you find her again?"
"Beside the chair." Arin said, Ira's hands around her to keep her from breaking down.
"Yes," the doctor said again, "maybe, her neck hit the chair's leg. Appreciate the Lord! If she had hit her head, she might have died. Anyway, let the X-ray reports come. Why don't you sit and wait? Let her be here."
Ira took Arianne to sit away from where Arira was kept. She, like a mother would have, had cried ever since the doctor started telling them what had happened and what else could have happened. "She's fine," he told her as they sat, "stop crying already."
She listened to him and rubbed off her tears. "Why are you not crying?" she asked him, as she noticed the sadness and worries on his face, "you're closer to Arira than I am." He smiled back, "Anne, if both of us cries, who's going to console whom?" She nodded and he let her place her head on his shoulder as she cried some more.
When the reports came, they were called back into the animal's unit. "Don't worry," the doctor said, holding the X-ray up in front of his eyes, "it's just a capillary fracture. And, very tiny! See! There were a few mild concussions which were the cause for her pain..."
"Concussions?" Arianne exclaimed.
Ira pressed her hand and made a small reprimanding tone deep in his throat to stop her from worrying so much.
The doctor continued, "nothing to worry! It's too mild. I've given her an anodyne injection. That will relieve the pain. And, just a couple of medicines. Add them with her milk. She'll be fine in a week. Don't worry, Arira. You'll be fine," and stroked her fur. "And, if you're not too busy or working," the doctor talked again as Ira lifted the vegetable chopping tray, where they had put Arira on to bring her to the vet, "bring her in Saturday or Sunday for another X-ray. I'll be here if you want to show it to me. I sit daily, 8 morning to 8 evening. You could come."
"Sit in the car," Ira told Arianne as he put the sleeping Arira's tray on her lap, "I'll get the medicines." "Okay," she said and watched him go.
The mishap with Arira had engraved deep pain in both of their hearts. They couldn't see the little creature hurt and crying that way. And, Ira's behavior told Arin that he could do anything to relieve her from her pain. Even take it away and make it his own.
"What is this?" Arianne laughed out as Ira got in, holding a bag with the hospital's name on it and a baby feeding bottle peeking out of it.
"Arira can't get up and lick milk. We'd have to feed her. How do you think we were going to do that?"
Arin smiled at him as he started the car. "If you have a daughter," she said, "you'll spoil her." And, regretted immediately. He smiled back and that made her imagine what his daughter could be like. Half him and half...Savannah.
"Could you take the Madison Street?" she asked as he pulled the car out of its parking space.
"Why?"
"I had promised Ana I'd go meet her. You can take Arira home, right?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Hi, you're here," Ana greeted Arianne as she came into her cabin, with a big smile, "you kept your promise. Come, sit. I have some good news Dr. Flynn gave me last night."
"Forget it, Ana," she replied, sitting on the couch, her face hung with sorrow.
"Why? What happened?"
"Savannah Helmsman happened."
"Oh, God! What, he started talking about her again?"
"She was waiting in front of our apartment last night, when we returned. I guess she's done with her tour. She's back, Ana. Forget every stuff that happened last night."
"What did Ira do?" Anastasia's voice lowered down, like she was talking to a vulnerable child.
"Took her to his room. Made love to her."
"No, he didn't. He can't. You're lying. Tell me you're lying."
"Ana, please," Arin smirked at her, "anyway, tell me what you wanna tell me."
Anastasia let out a sigh. "I just wanted to tell you what Dr. Flynn told me. You know, the explanations he has for his proof of Ira's love for you."
"Oh, I see."
"You sure you don't wanna know?"
"Umm...okay, tell me. If that pleases you, Ana."
Anastasia Grey told Arin what the psychiatrist had said. She pointed out to her all the times Dr. Flynn had noticed him suffer and get jealous. Every time he came running to find her when they tried escaping his sight. And, the auction! "Didn't you notice?" she said, "John was raising the money just by 500 dollars. And, Ira did it so high. Why do you think he did that? So that he'd stop bidding! And, you told me what he said after you went back to him. I can't believe even after all that, how can..."
"Let it go, Ana."
"You brought your car?" Ana asked as she walked her friend till the door. "No," she answered, "actually, we had to take Arira to the vet. So, we took her in Ira's car. They went back home. I think I'll take a bus."
"I'll ask Taylor to drop you home."
"That's unnecessary, Ana. I'll go."
"Shutties!" she dragged her out and as they met Taylor, Christian Grey's driver and right-hand man, the man Arianne had called Uncle, Ana gave him the responsibility to drop her home.
"We're here, Miss Daveson," he called out as he stopped the car outside the apartment building. She had fallen asleep in the car, thinking and weeping in silence. She shook up at his gruff voice, and, smiling, said, "I've no idea how many times I've to tell you to call me Arianne? Not Miss Daveson. I'm too young to you."
"I'll try," he said, as he held the door open for her. "Thank you, Taylor," she waved to him as she walked away.
"Who's my baby girl! Arira's my baby girl! She's the best! The nicest girl Daddy and Mamma could have had!" Ira fed Arira from the feeding bottle by saying all that pacifying words. Arianne couldn't help laughing out at him as she saw that scene.
"What?" he asked, putting the tray back on the dining table.
"Nothing," she pressed her smile back. "What?" he asked again, "you don't think I can? Well, I did feed her. I put the drops in the milk and fed her. And, she drank it." "Well done," she still couldn't stop giggling.
He put his arm around her to just stand and watch Arira for a while, together. And, for the first time, it felt awkward to Arianne to be under the influence of his touch. Awkward!
The week was just a repetition of the time when Savannah was out of town. Arianne, having no college for the winter break, stayed at home, looked after Arira and prepared for her finals. Ira returned home in time, sometimes even earlier. Courtesy Arira's sickness. And, Arira, having received all the love and the care from both of them, soon healed up and by the end of the week, could really lift her head up till a certain point. They put the painting up above the bookcase. It looked marvelous and Arira's way of purring at it made them believe she liked it too.
"I think a few more days would get her all right," Dawson had said when he visited them on Saturday. "I think," Ira continued as the three sat in a circle and drank beer together, after a long time, "she's the bravest girl I've known. The bravest! She'll soon become a tiger."
Arianne looked beside him. On the floor was one empty bottle. He was already one bottle down, when Dawson and she were still stuck with the first one. She wondered what made him drink. Stress? What kind of stress?
"Anne," he called, "what do you think?"
"I think you're right," she agreed to the drunk him. "What if she runs away to the jungle?" he asked and, laughing out, answered himself, "nah! My Arira...oops, sorry, Anne! Our Arira knows how much we love her. She'll never let go of us. She's the bravest. I must tell you, Daws."
"I agree," Dawson answered and looked at Arianne who looked back at him with an awful look.
As Ira kept talking about Arira and how brave she was and obsessed over her, Dawson and Arianne turned their course of conversation. "Where did you generally stay in the winter break?" he asked her, "you didn't go back to Miami, right?"
"Of course not," she smiled, "my friend David has a relative in Vancouver. Even we're close to them. You know, Mamma and I. So, for these few weeks, David and I used to stay there with them."
"David is there now?"
"Yes, he is."
That night, Dawson stayed back. He shared rooms with Ira and as he kept drunken blabbering, he tried getting some information out of him.
"Why are you doing whatever you're doing, Ira?"
"What am I doing?" Ira rubbed his nose vigorously and looked up. He was, thankfully, still drunk and that reflected from his tangled gibberish.
"This! This, Savannah thing!"
"What thing?"
"Why are you hurting yourself? And, Arianne altogether?"
"Anne? Anne is hurt? Who the fuck hurt her?"
"You did, you asshole!"
Ira's face changed. He looked very solemn, bruised as if, hurt by Dawson's words. "How can I hurt her? I'd never do that."
"Well, you've done that."
"Why do you think so? Does she think so too?"
"Well, yes, she does. Though, she hides it." Dawson rested on his elbow and looked at his dearest friend. His expressions kept changing - from carefree to solemn to quieted down to sad to hurt. Drunk because he was, his face gave him away. He couldn't hide what he was feeling inside.
"Will a sorry do?" His voice was terribly mumbled, the narcosis setting in deeply.
"No, there's much more that you'd have to do to win her back."
"I'm sorry...Anne. I'm sorry. I'll never do that again..." he kept mumbling, shutting his eyes tight, "I want to keep you happy, safe...safe...with me. Are you not happy?"
Dawson kept looking for a while, as his friend slipped off to sleep. He was sure Ira was in love with Arianne. How could he not be? He remembered those days when he called him up to just share with him his feelings for her.
"She's very beautiful," he had said, his voice filled with admiration and what had seemed to Dawson to be love, "very. I've never met a girl who...you know, is just so wonderful. You know, not just beautiful on the surface. She's beautiful from within. She has a great big heart, and we share a lot of similar choices and..."
"Ira," he had laughed over the phone, "you realize you're just blabbering, brother?"
"I am?"
"Yes. What is she doing now?"
"Sleeping," Dawson could feel his friend turn to look at her, "and...looking drop-dead beautiful. Thanks for...letting us stay at the ranch. It brought us too close."
"I can see that."
"But, she's going tomorrow. I don't want her to go."
"Ira, tell me one thing, is what you feel for her similar to how you felt for Demi?"
"Demi?" he laughed out, "it's way better. I don't even remember Demi. But, Arianne...she...I don't know. I just don't want to let her go."
Dawson sighed. Was this the same Ira? What made him change his mind? Savannah? Impossible! Ira was surely making some mistake, he thought.
Due to several reasons, neither Ira nor Arianne could take Arira for the X-ray that Sunday. "We need to go tomorrow," Arin said as they watched Arira sleep, "I'll take her."
"We can go after I return."
"I'll take her. I won't go to The Caketeers tomorrow. You don't have to go."
"Why not? You think I don't care about her?"
"It's not that, Ira! Alright! You win. I'll wait until you return. But, return soon. No working till late night tomorrow, okay?"
He nodded, agreeing. But, the next day, as it struck 7:15, Arin decided to take the car out herself. She put Arira on the tray and carried her downstairs, into the parking area. Holding her with one hand, she struggled to unlock the car.
Trying to shoot the engine up, she discovered a tire was out of wind. Mending it would take a lot of time and she didn't have that. "Oh, man!" she slapped the side of the car as she stared at the flattened tire, a habit she had inherited from her father. All the circumstances urged her to call Ira, but she didn't want to.
He said he wouldn't be late. But, he still was! Maybe he had work. But, then, he should have told her, called her up and asked her to do it alone. She never felt so disappointed at him like she did that day.
Just when she decided to walk out and take a cab, a car she recognized drew up into the parking area. "Hey, Arianne darling," Adam Armstrong waved out of the car as he stopped it in front of her. "Oh, hello," she waved back, considering him manna from Heaven right when she needed.
"Are you going somewhere?" he asked, peeking his head out of the car window.
She picked Arira up and locking her car, ran to the other side of his car. Climbing in, she said, "turn it back, Adam. We're going somewhere. I'll tell you on the way."
"Drive faster, Adam," she kept saying as she saw the road nearing the hospital. She had told him already what had happened and was constantly checking the time and pestering him to keep driving fast. Only that she lied that Ira had told her that he couldn't make it.
"Thank you, Adam," Arin thanked him as they made their way back to the car after having Arira's X-ray done and checked by the doctor. "You're welcome, dear," he said, "I've an idea. Let's go for coffee. I saw a coffee shop on the other side of the road." "Okay," she said.
They left Arira and her reports in the car and went for coffee. "Well," Adam said as they waited for their odrer to appear, "I think I should thank you."
"For what?" she smiled at him.
"Umm...I was having a chat with Dawson a few days ago. He told me Ira has quit smoking."
"You knew he used to?"
"Of course. I'm his Daddy. I'm a hundred levels ahead him. I didn't tell him, only tried in several indirect ways to get him to quit it. But, he didn't. And, then I heard you just made him promise. Thank you."
"C'mon! It was nothing."
When Adam dropped Arianne off at the apartment building, both expecting Ira to have returned and the former wanting to go back home to his wife, Ira had not returned still. Arin discovered that when she unlocked the door and stepped into an empty and dark apartment.
She quickly shut the door, placed Arira on the bookshelf and switched all of the lights on. She went into each room and switched the lights on. True, she often came into an empty apartment. But, the same after 9:00 p.m. felt haunting to her.
It took her a little while to comprehend his whereabouts. He was definitely with Savannah. Where else or who else would engage him for such a long while? And, that comprehension gave her more reason to not want to call him to know where he was. And, she decided she wouldn't even ask him about it when he'd return. She didn't make dinner and didn't even eat that night. After watching television for a while, she fed Arira and then, sat down to study.
It was hard to study. Neither could she study in her room, nor in the kitchen, nor in the living area. The early December night dragged on, making it chilly and hard to bear with. And, the loneliness!
Arianne often found herself just staring at something or the other. Sometimes at Arira, sometimes at the floor, sometimes at the painting, sometimes at the vestibule that ran from the main door to the living area, expecting that he would peep in suddenly.
She couldn't deny she was half-scared. The apartment that she had been considering small with respect to Ira's salary, suddenly started seeming very large. As the night became the next day, she had to put her hands on her ears to stop sounds from getting in. The rattling of rain outside that she usually loved seemed like mayhem to her. She had to rush to her room, bury her head in the pillow and though she knew it was almost impossible, she tried to fall asleep. She did.
Yellow, red, orange, magenta - all shades of love and romance! Everywhere! All around her! Her and Ira! Everything seemed so perfect. Just the kind of perfect it should be, it had to be. She was sure that was cloud 9. It couldn't be the Earth and she hadn't done anything to go up to Heaven already.
"Dance with me," his whisper was a blessing to her ears. His proximity, her saving grace. He backed off and produced his hands to her. She complied and put hers into them. He politely raised them to his lips and kissed each, making her smile. What could be more perfect?
He put one of her hands on his shoulder and one of his on her waist. She blushed as a tune started off in the background and they swayed with the rhythm. With the blissfulness of being together. They were so happy! He was so happy. And, that was what mattered to Arianne more than her own happiness.
"I've fallen in love with you, Ira," she confessed to him, scarlet. A sweet confession it was. No lying, no pretention, no superiority. Just a normal, seraphic, polite confession that somehow meant the world to her.
Ira smiled, backing off again. But, when she looked up this time, he didn't stop moving back. First she thought it was a joke. But, the more he kept going back, the more scared she felt. "Ira!" she called out as their hands separated, "Ira! Ira! Where are you going? Don't go. I can't be without you. Ira!"
She screamed his name out, looking around for him. And, the more she got scared, the more the colors of love disappeared. No more red, no more orange, no more pink. Only dirty blots of rust and blood and sludge. "Ira!" she called still, tears streaming down her cheeks, her heart thumping inside her ribcage, "Ira!"
And, suddenly the colors and the music were back. And, so was Ira. But, in a distance. "Dance with me," she heard him again and she saw him take two hands in his again. And, she saw him dance again. But in a distance. With...who...of course, Savannah!
She stood, crying, and only staring as he danced with Savannah. The same colors, the same song, the same he, the same love, but not she anymore!
She didn't seem to exist anymore to him. Her presence didn't affect him anymore. Her love didn't matter to him. Her tears were invisible to him. She was invisible to him. The woman he once made feel so special was no more special to him.
"Ira!" her voice trembled as she cried and called him at the same time.
"Anne! Anne!" her dream broke as a familiar voice called her back to reality. The same voice from the dream. The same face! She opened her eyes to see Ira leaning in to her, waking her up.
And, she realized it was a bad dream. A very bad dream! She felt warm and when she touched her forehead, and neck they were wet with perspiration, and her cheeks hot and flushed. "What happened?" Ira asked again, caressing her cheek, "bad dream?" She noticed he was still in his office clothes which meant he had returned just then.
She sat up and in a flash, moved to Ira and threw her arms around his neck. As he held her, she cried out and complained, like a child, "I was so scared! Don't you care at all? Never! Never, Ira. Please! Promise me you'll never stay away anymore. Promise me you'll come back home every night!"
"I promise," he said, holding her, "baby, I promise." He made her fall back to sleep and rose to get a change of clothes.
It was 4:00 in the dawn when he returned home, from Savannah's rich and luxurious apartment. He had never felt more guilty in life than he had that day. He knew he had promised to return early, he knew they were to take Arira for the checkup, he knew Arin didn't like being alone in the whole apartment. But, he still failed to keep his promises.
Why? He had constantly asked himself as he fucked Savannah as many times as she wanted him to. Why couldn't he be where he knew he had to be; where he felt he needed and wanted to be? He should have left right when Savannah appeared at the Grey House around 6:30. Why couldn't he?
Why did the body become so much more important to him than so many other important things in his life? This was not him. Not the himself he had known. Not the him his parents had raised. Not the him Dawson had been friends with. Not the him Theresa looked up to as her favorite cousin. Not the him whose hidden soul was rediscovered by Arianne.
It was not even a relationship that he had with Savannah. Just a...he did not even know what it's called! There was no love. No love at all! And, he knew he needed love.
He hated himself. Having made sure Arianne was asleep, he switched the light off and sat on the bed beside her. And, the Ira who was strong enough to not cry even when they saw Arira's miserable condition, cried out. He placed his head in his hands and weeped.
Why did he get into a relationship where there was no peace of mind? Why was he with Savannah? Even after all the blows of insults and mockery? Why? Why was he bearing with all that? He had no clue to answer those questions. He knew he had asked himself the same questions before and he had done the same mistakes again and again. But, now he was tired. He wanted rest, he wanted to put a stop to it, wanted to put Savannah aside and away. He wanted to be peaceful, happy, like he was before.
"Ira?" Arianne woke up suddenly as he continued crying, "what happened?" She rose and switched the bed lamp on immediately. He quickly rubbed the tears off and turned to her. "Nothing," he lied, looking away. "You know you can't lie to me," she said, "your eyes always give you away."
He looked back and smiled. "Tell me," she urged again, "see, I'm already annoyed with you for not having called me about returning late. Now, don't annoy me more."
They sat together as he told her about him and Savannah. He confessed to her exactly how he felt with her. Being under her thumb. And, how much he hated it.
"I think your self-esteem is degrading," she said as she rested her back on his front, listening to him.
"Why do you think so?" He played with the strands of hair on her forehead.
"Don't mind me saying so. Actually, I shouldn't. Chuck it."
"No, tell me. I'd like to know."
"No, let it go." She insisted.
"Miss Daveson, tell me. Please. Don't hold your words back."
She sighed. "See, Ira. You're with a person who takes pride in insulting you and showing you down. That's not fair, you know. And, you're bearing with it. I don't know why. Okay, I get it you love her. But, then again, how can you love someone who constantly wants you to hate yourself?"
Her heart ached when she said she knew he loved Savannah. His did too. Something was terribly wrong. He could feel it. The negativity in all of this; in the idea of him being 'in love' with Savannah. But, he discovered, their was light too - the only source of positivity. Anne!
He had listened to her intently and had even agreed to her on many matters. He had to admit the conversation shook him and he felt a lot lighter after that. As if a stone was put off his chest.
But, right the next day, when Savannah appeared at the Grey House again, he went with her. When he returned home late at night, his sight told Arianne who he was with. And, she decided she would never tell him anything about what she felt about the whole situation. She had no right, after all!
He did everything they had planned for Arira on Christmas Eve. Even went to the church with Arin. But, then, he said he was to spend the whole day with Savannah. When the empty apartment finally became unbearable for her, Arianne called David up and decided to go to Vancouver and meet him.
"Where's your boyfriend?" David asked as they had a late lunch at a restaurant they often visited when they lived there.
"My boyfriend?" She laughed out.
David looked at his best friend for a long while. He knew the fake laugh. He had been seeing this for a long time.
"What's wrong?" he asked, knowing that he'd have to struggle a lot for an answer.
But, it came out easy. Like she had come all the way from Seattle to Vancouver just to talk about it. "Ira doesn't love me, Dav. It's me who had been expecting him to all this time. It's me who lied to all of you that we're a happy couple. That he keeps me happy."
"He doesn't?"
She gave way to half a smile. "He does. But, not in the way I need."
David dragged his chair to beside hers and asked, "what has he done? Does he hurt you?"
"No, no, not at all. Not physically, I mean. But, the emotional thing is harder to bear with. The emptiness is harder to bear with." She shut her eyes to let her tears roll.
"For Heaven's sake, Arin, tell me what he's done. I'll just go and slash his balls off him."
"David," she admonished, "it's nothing like that. It's not his fault. It's mine. He'd told me when he was to leave in summer that he had fallen in love with another girl. Back then, we weren't in a relationship. So, I can't allege him of cheating. But, I had been expecting all this time, when that girl was out of town, that he'd fall back in love with me. There were so many signs that told me that either he already had or he will. You know me, I'm always so stupid and fairytale-ish."
"Then?"
"Savannah came back," she gave out another fake laugh, "and, boom! My fairytale was no more mine!"
David looked away. He had to admit that even a day ago he was very happy for his best friend. He thought she had found the man she was happy with. But, today, now, he wanted to kill that man.
"Promise me one thing," Arin held his hand, making him look back.
"Anything."
"You won't tell a soul. Not my parents, neither Vanessa, nor Melissa or anyone at all."
"Why?"
"No, you won't. You promised anything!"
When she returned to Seattle, it was post midnight. She was a bit drunk and as she staggered into the apartment, she could feel Ira was already home. She left her shoes, one beside the shoecase and the other far away from it and dragging her favorite bag on the carpet, walked in.
"You're home," Ira appeared from the kitchen, "where have you been?"
Arianne let herself fall on the couch and without answering him, kept scratching her head. It was not like her. Ira frowned at her and standing at his point, asked again, "where have you been?"
"Shut up," she said, the drinks taking a toll on her Brochus centre.
"I'm asking you something. Where did you go? It's post midnight and you've returned home drunk. I've called you at least twenty times. You didn't pick up, neither did you call back. Where have you been? I've a right to ask, Anne."
She laughed. "Look who's talking. Mr. Armstrong, don't get into thinking you've a right on my life. Our lives are separate. Always have been and always will be."
Ira calmed himself down. She was drunk. He knew what she said, she didn't mean. But, people say the truth when they're drunk. No, he shook his head, she didn't mean it. Maybe, she just thought of it that way. Their lives cannot be separate. They were intertwined in a way, nobody could untangle them. No matter how hard they tried.
"Come," he produced his hand to her, "let's go to bed. We'll talk in the morning."
She looked up, all her grudges washing away with one caring look he held in his eyes. She took his hand and stood up, handing him the key to control her.
"Why do you get drunk if you can't handle it?" he rebuked her as he helped her undress.
"Why do you show you care when you don't?" she asked back as he slid her head through the neck of her nightwear.
He grabbed her cardigan and slid her hands through the sleeves. "What?" she asked, "you don't have an answer?"
"I don't want to answer a lame question."
"Lame? Which part of is it lame?"
"The whole of it is lame. How can you even ask that? Shift!"
She shifted to the left side of the bed and he clambered on beside her.
"You know what," he softly said as he dragged her to him easily, "I came back home in the evening, thinking you'd be there. Thinking we could do with some celebration of the Christmas Night. You, me and Arira."
"Really?"
"Yes. I thought you were at The Caketeers. So I called Mom, Dad and we met there. But, you weren't there. So, I bought a cake for home and came back."
"Did Jess ask for me?"
"Yes, I told them you went to meet David."
"How did you know?"
"You really went to meet David?"
"Yes. Anyway, what happened after that?"
"Oh yes. So, I came back home and waited. And, you know what, I felt something."
"What?"
"You know, the apartment is only an apartment without you. Just bricks and paints and wood and furniture. But, with you I can call this apartment home."
"Ira, are you drunk too?"
"No, stupid girl, I mean it. I don't need alcohol to speak the truth. You do bring life to this mesh of wood, brick and ironwork. You and Arira! Thank you. Thank you so much!"
Arianne smiled and rested her head on his jacketed chest. It was cold and it felt good to cuddle with him. She hoped he meant every word he said. She hoped it was only she in his life that he could say those words to. She hoped...and smiled. She could stay like that for her entire life.
How hypothetically perfect! How fairytale-ish!