I am so completely and utterly fucked.

After I asked for a lawyer, Detective Mayfield had gathered his things with a bright smile on his face and left the room.

I don't even know how to get a lawyer.

Isn't one supposed to be appointed to me or something if I don't already have one? Or is that only for people who have been arrested?

Have I been arrested?

The chills running through my body now have nothing to do with the withdrawals.

They are entirely fear now.

How had this happened?

I didn't do any of this, but God, if I didn't already know that and I was an outsider looking in, I'd be willing to throw my life down with the firm belief that I was guilty.

And Aries.

Aries.

My Aries.

I'd trusted him. I trusted him wholly and without any doubts whatsoever since the day I met him. He was good. Damaged and complicated and frustrating, but good. He had hurt me more times than I could even count. He had let me down, disappointed me, broken my heart, and still I was sure if one thing.

Aries is a good person.

Someone I will always love without conditions, because I saw him. I saw the person behind those walls, while maybe only in short tiny minuscule moments, I still saw them. I still believed in him and the person I knew him to be behind all of the fake bravado he had learned to hide behind.

He's been through so much. More than someone so young should have to see. He's lived a hard life and he picked himself up from the circumstances he was born into and he made himself into the man he is now.

He was worth my trust.

And now...

I can't deny the evidence that was laid in front of me. No matter how many ways I try to turn it in my mind to make it fit to where he is innocent, I can't make the pieces go together.

I could explain away the prints in the alley if I really tried hard enough. If I shielded my eyes just so, I could make myself believe there was a mistake there.

I can't do that for the second photo.

There is no logical reason for his boot prints to be on that road. Not a single one. To further the doubts sinking into my skin and taking root, he'd never said anything. If there was even a chance they would find his boot prints there, he would have said something.

But he hadn't.

Can Aries really be the monster after all?

I'd let him back into my life. Just last night I'd forgiven him for the way he left me. I'd already begun to sweep all of those years of bad blood I held for him away. I'd been making excuses for him still, after all of these years, I still tried to see the best in him.

I'd wanted to believe it so badly, I'd closed my eyes to all of the signs.

My mind flashes back to the other night and how quickly and easily he had jumped up to make that fire for me.

Then I think of all of the times I'd come home or woken up to find the fire burning.

Had he been doing that all along?

And the missing keys from Mrs. Statham's house? Dallas had said it would have been someone she trusted enough to let inside of her home. She trusted him so much, she is the one who got him his lawyer. She had his picture hanging proudly on her living room wall.

And her niece...

How could he do this to her? To all of those girls? To me?

I jump from my seat and barely make it to the little tin trash bin by the door before I wretch.

I fall to the floor beside the door and just cry.

He recreated it all.

All of the trauma I've been through in my life and he's brought it all back to life in sickening detail.

And even worse? He's taking me down with him.

I let him right back into my world so that he could destroy it all over again.

I always knew the thing between us felt like a game to be won, but I never imagined it getting this far out of hand.

Two hours later, I'm joined by my appointed public defender. It took a dozen or so phone calls and very unhelpful officers before we finally got someone to come in to meet with me.

"Have you eaten?" Is the first thing the plump little man asks when he enters the room. "Need some water or anything."

"No." I snap. "I just want to get out of here."

He furrows his brows at me, making the deep set lines in his forehead become cavernous. "Well," he nods. "Let's start by getting off of the floor," he motions for me to get up. "I'm sure this place is filthy. Who knows the last time someone actually cleaned in here."

He sets his bag on the table and I watch him as he pulls out a packet of wipes and begins wiping down the table and the chair before he takes a seat.

He puts the wipes away and takes out a small bottle of hand sanitizer, offering some to me as I move to go back to the table and sit across from him.

"Thanks." I mutter as I let him put a little into my hands.

"My name is Taylor Jinks." He smiles, his front two teeth slightly gapped. "I've been assigned to your case and will be assisting you."

"Ok." I nod, watching the stiff way he moves, taking out his files and placing them neatly in stacks in front of him.

"Ok, Missouri-."

"Missy."

He nods and smiles. "Missy." He amends. "From everything I can see here, all of the evidence at this point is circumstantial. Doesn't look good," he scrunches his face. "But also wouldn't stand up in court if it were to go that far, which is why you haven't been formally charged with anything."

"But they charged Aries." I argue and he clicks his tongue and waves a hand at me.

"They haven't." He tells me. "I'm assuming someone told you that to try to make you crack." He rolls his eyes. "Standard police procedures. Believe half of what they tell you." He shrugs. "I'm sure they told him the same thing. What they are going to want to do now, is see who they can make squeal first."

"What do you mean?"

"They can place you both at two if the crime scenes, but that's all they have. Like I said, won't hold in court, so they can't push to charge and trial until they have some more dirt on either of you." He explains. "So the game they are gonna play now is leaning hard on the both of you to try to get information that can lead to further evidence on either one or both of you."

I place both of my hands on the table. "I didn't do anything." I tell him. "I will tell you anything you want to know but I swear I don't know anything about these cases or Aries's involvement."

Just saying it burns my chest.

"That's well and good." Taylor tells me. "Right now I'm just here to get you out."

"I can go home?" It comes out more like a plea than a question but Taylor smiles either way.

"Yes." He tells me, then stalls. "Well, I mean, home to your home here. You can't leave Faulkner right now. You and Mr. Carter both are serious persons of interest in this case and the only reason I can get you out right now is because they don't have enough to charge you yet. They wanted to hold you, and they put up a good fight for it, but you are released back to your house for now."

For now hangs ominously in the air around us.

"Ok, thank you." I reach over to touch his hand but he flinches back and then smiles nervously while his cheeks flush.

"We will get you home tonight, but you and I need to meet tomorrow morning to go over everything else." He says quickly. "This is very serious right now, and I need you to be careful what you say from here on out. Don't speak to any detectives or officers without me again."

"Don't worry." I nod, knowing damn well I have no intention of opening my mouth to any of them again.

"And stay away from Mr. Carter." He warns. "Do not have any contact with him either. It won't look good and we need to keep you separate from him on this."

The weight of my situation looms over me, making my mind and body itch to get away. It is such a strong need. Knowing I can slip away and not deal with any unwanted emotions, but I can't do that anymore.

I've got to stay clean and keep my head on straight.

Taylor walks me out of the station and gives me his card before he heads back inside.

It's gotten dark since I came in and I weave my way down the sidewalk to find Kelsea and Dallas.

They're still waiting for me when I get into the truck and finally collapse against Dallas.

"Missy, what the fuck?" He wraps an arm around me and pulls me closer. "You were gone forever. Kelsea was about to go in there to get you."

I fill them both in through sobs on everything that's happened since I left them.

"Oh my god." Kelsea leans her head back, looking up at the top lining of the truck.

"I know." I wipe at my nose with my sleeve. "I'm so stupid." I cry. "I fell for it."

Dallas rubs a hand soothingly up and down my arm but every touch hurts.

"He fooled all of us, Miss." he says quietly. "I never would have thought he could do this either. That fucking bastard." He curses.

I can feel the anger rolling off of him but my own emotions are too all over the place to grasp what it is that I'm feeling right now.

Betrayal, hurt, loss.

"He seemed so..." Kelsea seems to be at the same loss of words to pin it down. "I believed him too." She says finally. "My bullshit radar is usually good, and I believed what he said too."

"He was there." I whisper to myself. "On that County Road. He killed those girls."

"Fuck." Dallas barks. "He's gonna try everything he can to pin this on you. We all opened up to him about everything, he knows too much and can twist this story in his favor now."

I know what he's not saying. How if it comes down to being his word against mine, who is the town going to believe? The kid who everyone knew and loved, or the girl already drenched in so much blood?

I don't want to let myself believe that Aries would do this to me, that he'd let me take this fall to save himself, but I don't know that I can anymore. Not now. Not after this.

"I have a meeting in the morning with my lawyer to go over it all and get my story straight, but I'm scared." I admit. "You're right, Dal. He knows everything. He can make it all seem like it was me."

"I'm not gonna let that happen, Missy." My brother promises. "He can say whatever he wants, but we have the truth. You didn't do anything and there is no way they can prove otherwise. We just need to make sure he goes down for what he did alone and I hope he fucking rots for it."

I break down in tears again.

I should want the same thing.

I need to hate him for what he's done.

But fucking why do I still feel sorry for him? He's destroying my life and the life of so many other families and I can't make myself hate him? I bang my head against the head rest over and over, trying to knock the sense into myself I need.

"Stop." Dallas pulls me closer, holding me so tight I can't move at all. "Let's go to the house." He says over my head to Kelsea.

"Why would he do this!" I shout.

Why

Why

Why

"I don't know, Missy." Kelsea sighs, her voice low and full of emotion as well. "It doesn't make any sense to me either. Why he would have such a vendetta against you? The way he acted around you and the way he watched you...I thought it was that he still loved you, but now I'm like, what if it was obsession?"

I try to turn to look at her but Dallas doesn't release his grip. "I didn't do anything to him!" I protest. "I never did anything but try to care and be a good friend to him. He's the one who left! I'm the one who is mad! I don't get why he'd do this to me now."

"This sort of thing never makes sense." Dallas tells us both. "You can't waste time trying to see reason or find what led to here, it's just the way some people are. He's fucked up, same as Dad was. We can't try to make any of it make sense, we just need to make sure you stay safe."

"I don't see how we make this work." I cling to him. "It looks so bad. So so bad. I don't know how to explain being in the wrong place at the wrong time this many times. No one will believe me."

"That's not true." Kelsea says. "People are gonna see the evidence and when they get more on him, which I'm sure they will, and they'll have to see the truth."

"Even if they don't, it doesn't matter." Dallas sighs. "You're never gonna convince everyone. There will always be people who are gonna try to condemn you either way, all that matters is having enough evidence on him to make sure he is the one who goes down."

"I wish I'd never come back." I say coldly.

"I'm sure." Kelsea pats my knee. "But then you wouldn't have met me." I hear the forced smile in her voice.

"When this is all over, I want you to come with me." Dallas let's up on his grip enough for me to look up into his eyes. "I mean it. I'm not letting you go again, ok? We will leave here together. I'm gonna take care of you this time."

I know he means well.

But I'm tired of needing to be taken care of.

I'm tired of failing myself over and over.

I'm the one who needs to start caring about myself. I've let myself and my needs and my own growth stay at a stand still since I was seventeen.

It's time to grow up and get my own life where I'm not dependent anymore.

Not on drugs.

Not on the acceptance of other people.

Not on being loved.

I need to depend on me.

But before I can do any of that, I have to make sure the person I love goes to prison.

Again.