Regret.
I always feel regret.
I don't know why.
I just always seem to feel it.

It's like a gnawing problem that will never go away.
It seems as if I am the target of its wake.
What did I do to feel this regret?
Was it just because I was being myself?

I made a fool of myself in front of people and now I can still feel their burning stares.
They are always watching.
Always waiting to see what else I'll do that is never correct in their eyes.

Everyday I keep my head down, hoping not to get noticed.
Everyday I feel their stares.
It's like I'm always part of this show.
This show that has everyone in the world watching, but somehow always has a zero star rating.
Like, the only reason they watch me is to criticize me or to get a good laugh.

I realize I can be strange.
I know I'm weird.
I've always been.
But, now my weirdness is being put on this scale of badness.
If I'm weird then I'm automatically not good enough in their book.

The box they put me in gets smaller with every second I show everybody my personality.
I'm being suffocated in this sea of opinions on every little detail.
Some days it's like im drowning.
Others, I just barely stay afloat.
I try staying invisible, but it's never any use.

My head is always in a book.
I try to leave the world by going to new ones through words.
If I ignore the outside world, I should be able to feel good.
But eventually I have to leave the adventure and live my life in this world of people staring at me.

The regret.
It burns in my life.
It leaves a hole that will never be filled.