If I could back to any day I would go back to the first time you smiled at
me. We were never meant to be but you will always hold a spot in my heart that no one else could fill. We are all passengers on a sinking ship trying to find the one person who we want to go down with. You were not the one I held hands with as the cold water flooded my lungs but you were the one I danced with for one nights and laughed with. Laughs that would be heard for an eternity that maybe one day of get to tell my child of. You were never meant to be mine and I'm okay with that but I will never be able to erase the memory of you smiling at me and telling me you had never met anyone like me or the feeling of driving listening to your music. The feeling of speeding around curves way too fast going nowhere but feeling everything. You were never meant to be mine forever but you were mine for a spilt second.
Now you're just a stranger. I still see your sisters and your dad and your step-mom. They smile and wave but at one time I would actually talk to them. Now when I see them I just think of you. I miss the way you would play your guitar when I asked and you'd send me videos. You ruined Green Day for me. I loved greenday. But now the days turn into night and what was green is turning into a simple orange. With autumn came your departure. In a split second you were gone and there was nothing I could do about it. The feeling of knowing I'd have you forever and making plans to live life together turned into a mind numbing emptiness that even alchol had no chance of fixing. And so I drank. I cried. And you were still gone as if the last couple months had meant nothing. As if I was just another story you would tell one day. I still think about you and I wish you thought about me but we were nothing but a sinking ship. I truly miss the way you smiled and said my name. I miss the way you smelt and the way you would drive 30 minutes just because I was crying. I miss everything about you even though you were no perfect. I truly loved me and I hope for my sake you loved me atleast for a little while.