[ a   f a k e   r e a l i t y ]

♥ louisa ♥

FOR QUITE SOME time, I had been aware of the dark irony that is intrinsically laced into each corner of the world, from the daily struggle humanity faces to the pure hypocrisy of the words we soothe ourselves with.

Like a shape-shifter, it wields many forms.

It is the evil monster that says all will be okay and then sends you plummeting into the deepest depths of darkness. The mocking parasite that convinces you to push away those closest to you and then makes you wish for somebody - anybody - to talk to. The twisted creature who, with a sadistic smile, causes heart breakers get their heart broken.

How very ironic.

With that, it is easy to view it as some wicked shadow that creeps around the streets, feeding off the twilight and mocking mankind's despair.

But if one looked a little deeper, they would notice that it is nothing more than a beast of our creation.

Too afraid to face the harsh world, humans succumb to the glitter and beauty of a fake reality. We string syllables together to form baseless phrases that can temporarily manipulate the human mind.

Difficult paths lead to beautiful destinations.

Good things come to those who wait.

Time heals everything.

Does it really?

Of course not.

The past had taught me far too well that the melodic ticking of the clock could do many things but renewing the mind and dissipating pain into moments of nothingness was not its forte.

When our pool of false beliefs gets distorted by a ripple of truth, triggered by the falling of our tears, we blame the world and turn a blind eye to just how hypocritical and border-line ridiculous we had been acting in the first place.

Feeding ourselves fabrications and then getting frustrated when we are reminded of the fact they are nothing more than empty lies.

Weak words to give solace to a lost soul.

One could probably imagine my utter surprise when five months in France had led to me noticing an actual glimmer of truth to the phrase life's too short for regrets.

Funnily enough, the little quote book that Julia had gifted me as a farewell present was presently a bedside staple.

I quickly muted my phone when it began ringing for the third time. The first two times I had declined but something told me that the curvy blue-eyed vixen wasn't going to stop until she heard the sound of my voice.

The patient woman with cocoa skin arched an eyebrow at me before speaking in a French accent, "It's almost 6.30 pm and dinner will be served soon, Louisa. If this is not a good time, we can always discuss career advice later."

It had been almost half a year since I'd transferred to Espiritu, Forteaux's sister school, leaving everything in London behind and embracing the little streets of Paris however I still wasn't used to the boarding school timetable.

A second after I had read my schedule on the first day of the spring term and seen how early supper was served at the boarding school, my face had fallen. Luckily with a gorgeous beam and light flatter I'd persuaded the kitchen staff to arrange for dinner to be sent to my room at 8 pm every day.

The light-hearted glint in Professeur Lafayette's brown eyes told me she had found out about the special treatment I'd been getting since January. It was that or Pierre had stupidly opened his mouth to his mother.

Damnit, I should have known he can't keep a damn secret. My name's not Louisa Nare Darling if I don't shave the hair off his damn head at midnight. He always breaks into my room so it's about time I do the same.

"No, no. It's my fault. I probably should have switched it off. Sorry. Please continue."

She nodded before continuing to talk about my outstanding accomplishments in art, philosophy as well as future job prospects.

It turned out that Adrienne Lafayette, the headmistress of the school who had allowed me to join Espirits five months ago, was also the faculty head of Art and Design. The fact that she had had a soft spot for Rae and was aware of her passing had certainly made me feel more comfortable about the transition.

My red Louboutins clicked against the wooden floor of the corridor when I eventually left her office. For some reason, my eyes were drawn to the short dark-haired girl waiting outside the elegant Baroque style door. Her head quickly turned away before I could catch a proper glance at her face.

To be honest, it wasn't rare to find other Espirits students looking at me. My six years at Forteaux had certainly made me famous among teenagers, somehow managing to travel across the English Channel to France.

The only difference was that here, I was just one of many students from an influential background. High enough in the hierarchy for people to care but not high enough to fall again.

Most of them didn't know the full story involving Logan and those that did, seemed too scared or unbothered to say anything. Besides, just like Forteaux used to have Talisa, Ashlei and I, this academy already had its own reigning Espirits girls.

Regardless, I was beyond grateful for the lack of total attention.

That reminds me. You need to give the lawyer a call to see if there have been any updates on the case.

As I walked down the corridor, I caught a couple of French students gazing at me adoringly from the luxurious school grounds, eyes running from my luscious ebony hair that had recently been strewn with rich caramel highlights to my leggy lower half.

"C'est elle, Esmée! Celui don't je parlais plus tôt. That's her, Esmée! The one I was talking about earlier," the Filipino girl whispered.

Her friend's line of sight moved to me, "Quelle jolie fille! Je pense que je l'ai vue dans un magazine. Elle ressemble à un vrai ange! What a beautiful girl! I think I've seen her in a magazine. She looks like a real angel!"

I was inches away from breaking into a vain grin and saying 'yes honey, you're thinking of last months issue of Vogue Italia' but instead parted my full soft lips into a warm smile.

For the past six months, I'd deliberately been encouraging myself to make the right choice. It was pretty difficult considering I was used to being a total bitch for most of my life. Old habits died pretty damn hard.

"Non, vous etês tous les vrais anges. Merci d'avoir fait ma journée. No, all of you are the real angels. Thank you for making my day."

Feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket once again, I sighed and brought it to my Swarovski adorned ear immediately regretting it when an irritated nasal voice flooded the speaker.

"Hey Lexi, I-"

"Your voicemail is so annoying!" I winced at her frustrated high-pitched voice as I stride towards my room.

A beam teased at my lips as I imagined the curvy, petite girl's huge blue eyes blinking frustratedly. "Sorry, Lexi. I was in a meeting wi-"

"Hello, this is Louisa Darling. Unfortunately, I am unavailable right now so please leave a message after the tone. If you don't get a callback, in the kindest way possible, take the hint. Thank you and have a lovely day," she recited in a cheery yet cutting voice that was surprisingly similar to my voicemail.

I broke into a laugh and shook my head, "Wow, that was scarily accurate."

"It's not like I've heard it 20 times," she grumbled. "You told me to call you today at 6 pm."

"Yeah, you're right. It's my fault." I pacified whilst biting my lip and resting my chin on my hand. "I'll make it up to you. How about when you next visit Paris, I'll take you to Lacroix's?"

I knew Lexi had a soft spot for the French designer. His work and, although I literally couldn't fathom why, the almost seventy-year-old man himself. By now I knew far too well that Lexi had a strange taste in men but each to their own.

"Fine," she breathed out in mock anger. "You better."

"I promise I will," I laughed out, walking down the bend of the corridor. "Now, get talking! I'm all ears."

"As am I! But first, let me get some paracetamol. My head's fucking killing."

Tucking strands of my ebony hair behind my ear, I unlocked the door to my dorm room and sat down on the armchair. "What's wrong? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." There was a slight rustle as she rubbed her forehead before hesitantly continuing. "Just a bit stressed out."

Shuffling in the armchair, my eyes furrowed in concern when I noticed her humorous, shrill voice transform into a more serious one. "It sounds like it's more than that. What is it, Lexi?"

"Forget about me, Louisa," she weakly attempted to change the topic. "Tell me more about living in the city of love. I'm so jealous. There's probably a tonne of handsome guys and-"

Something clicked in my mind.

"It's about the Academy, isn't it?"

Her resistance to tell me suddenly made sense.

"What's going on?" I anxiously asked.

A couple of tense seconds later, she finally began. "Things are getting worse here and frankly, I don't know what to do with him anymore."

I could tell she was tiptoeing around the subject, unaware of how I would react. Almost everybody knew that shit had happened between the two of us however nobody - even Lexi - knew the full story.

"You're talking about Gabriel," I eventually said, feeling surprised when my heart sped up at the reference of his mere name.

"Yeah. Yeah, I am."

Another pause followed, causing me to let out a frustrated sound.

"Lexi, you can't just say that and then tell me nothing," I urged with worry, my voice roughly catching like a knot in a thread.

The first months had been full of a painful incessant self-purging.

Multiple counselling sessions, sobbing in the middle of the night, telling myself that I wasn't to blame for what happened, changing my mind, reminding myself that even if I was responsible for what happened to Rae I loved her so much and she knew that, thinking about Gabe and hating myself, declaring to myself that I'd made the right choice for the pair of us and then facing a trigger that reminded me of Logan's words and started the cycle again.

Slowly things had got easier to deal with and now, I was actually living life and not just surviving. For the first time in a hell of a long time, I felt like I'd found the real me again.

Despite this, the word abuse was still taboo to me because I sometimes still struggled to understand the severity of what had happened. It always ended up with me feeling ashamed for not speaking up about Logan earlier.

Regardless, things were looking brighter and I appreciated that.

"Are you sure, Louisa?" She questioned once more. "I know you moved away to escape everything here. Tell me about the hot men there instead. French accents are so-"

Heart now racing, I crossed my legs over each other. "Fine. I'll just find out from someone else then."

"No!" Her voice was syringed with severity as a shaky sound left her, "No, I don't want you to listen to the wrong things. It's better if you hear it from me."

My red lips pressed together as I waited for her to continue.

She let out a long sigh before speaking, her usually child-like voice sounding as if it had aged by years. "I know it's been a while now and I'm so glad that you're recovering, Louisa. You didn't deserve anything that has happened to you."

It was difficult to believe that half a year ago, I hated this girl. It just proved that people aren't always as you think.

"I'm thankful that things have changed for you but things have also changed here. I'm not sure how much you know from the others but it's been for the worse."

I didn't tell her that she was the only person I'd been in contact with.

Her voice was as heavy as a boulder falling from the sky, "Since both Logan and you have left, the focus has turned to Gabriel and Talisa."

A little something passed through my chest but I slowly breathed it out, replacing it with clean fresh air.

Make the right choices, Lou.

"This is good. At least he has support and something to talk to," I said, eyes briefly squeezing shut with thankfulness that he was okay. "Are they dating?"

"No. Yes. It's a lot more complicated than that, Louisa," She sharply stuttered with a forced laugh. "You know things are never as simple as that around here."

Unsure of the meaning of her words, my eyebrows knitted together. "Tell me more about Gabriel, Lex."

Writing him that letter had been the most painful thing I had ever done. I had seen in his stormy eyes that the torment of that night was slowly but surely ripping into him from within, lacerating deeply at his unconscious mind and tearing it to shreds. If I hadn't told him the truth, one day it would all have become too much and he'd have shattered completely. Although I'd known the truth would hurt him at first, I also knew that in the long term it would be for his good.

It was better if he never saw my face again than fall apart.

"I don't know where to start, Louisa." Lexi's voice was shaking as words she'd been keeping to herself spilt out," Fuck, I'm so worried about him."

My throat felt dry as I swallowed hard.

"He doesn't smile anymore and joking is a far fetch. That's not even it. He's just so emotionless and-" Lexi paused, struggling to find the right word. "Heartless now. So fucking mean and cold. Constantly pissed off. And I know he doesn't mean it but he is. It's like he's thrown himself in a box and thinks everyone's trying to hurt him."

My eyes searched the floor in confusion whilst I struggled to believe the words she was saying. I'd never even considered that things could turn out this way. "Always so serious and bitter-"

"I don't understand. Gabriel's never serious." It felt as if a lasso had been tied around my chest, squeezing it tight at her last sentence.

"Not anymore Louisa. Things have changed. The only person he ever really talks to is Talisa and that's not- you know."

"That's not what?" I asked desperately.

A scratchy soprano sound left her. "You don't know? I thought you'd have heard by now."

"Lexi you gotta stop doing this," I breathed out, still trying to piece together how things had gone so sour. This wasn't the way it was supposed to go. "Heard what?"

"How do I put it?" The short laugh that escaped her was humourless. "Her pupils are constantly dilated, she disappears from lessons every couple of hours and has sudden unpredictable outbursts."

My stomach dropped. With my head in my hand, I forced myself to respond, feeling my voice crack loudly as I spoke. "How long has this been going on? Everything?"

"Ever since you left, Louisa," Lexi hoarse said. "But the bottom line is that she's not a great influence on Gabriel. Especially when he's like this, but she's the only one he talks to nowadays."

I softly let out a whisper, heart thudding, asking the one question I didn't want to know the answer to.

"Does he hate me?"

There was no answer.

A few seconds later, Lexi began avoiding the question. "If you told me what happened between you, maybe-"

My eyes fell upon a shadow on the wall of the room that disappeared as soon as I noticed it. "Answer me, Lexi," I demanded, ignoring it.

"Yes."

I wasn't surprised but it still stung.

My voice was pained as if it had to pass through a bushel of thorns to come out my throat. I was sure Lexi noticed but she chose not to comment on it. I cleared my throat."H-How's everyone else?"

"Arlo is always in his head and Ashlei's glued to Talisa's side. Prince has been helping me get through to Gabriel but he keeps pushing us away."

A throaty laugh escaped me as I tried to process the damage I had unknowingly caused. I'd thought my departure would be for the best. This was the last thing I imagined.

"So things are shit. And I never even realised."

"It's not your fault, Louisa. I'm just scared of how it's all going to end. He needs help and thinks Talisa is that help but they're toxic for each other. They're unknowingly sending each other to their demise."

The quiet sob she let out sealed the reality of the situation. Taking a deep breath in, I pulled myself together. "Shh, don't cry Lexi. It's going to be fine."

"But it's not-"

"Listen to me," I insisted, exhaling slowly. "It is. I'm going to make it alright. I"ll fix this."

I need to.

"But how? It's so ba-"

"That's for me to worry about, not you. Now go get yourself an ice cream and watch your favourite film, okay?"

"Okay," my words seemed to give some comfort to her since her erratic breathing slowed. "Sorry for talking about myself so much. But thank you. For listening."

"It's alright, Lexi. I'll talk to you soon, alright?"

"Yeah. Take care."

As soon as the call was cut, I swore in distress and massaged my headache hard for a moment, trying to work out how it'd all gone so badly. A hand on my shoulder finally caused me to lift my head.

"Is everything alright, ma chérie?"

Thought I'd kick it all off with your favourite girl's POV. As always there's a tonne of hints so get spotting, haha (: Tell me what you think! Go go go.

Updates will be every Monday!

♥ 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫! ♥