[ d r o w n i n g i n h e r ]

♥ gabriel ♥

I'd always considered myself relatively flexible, but as I stood leaning against the wall with my head awkwardly tilted downward to avoid the wooden ceiling, I began questioning if all the girls I'd been with in the past were frankly gaslighting the hell out of me.

The small gap between the two doors was rather annoyingly two inches below my eye level. It forced me to stand with the tip of my sneakers touching the front of the cupboard near the doors, and my back flush against the rear panel, leaning backwards diagonally.

My feet were just above hip-width apart to allow enough room for Louisa to put her feet between them. Judging by her impeccably straight posture, either she was avoiding resting back on me for dear life or the second gap in the cabinet door was perfectly aligned with her eyes.

Lucky brat.

I watched the scene unfold before me.

"Actually... it may be in the kitchen."

It was painful to watch.

Almost pitiful.

I could clearly see where this was going to go and what was even more crystal was that I could do absolutely nothing about it.

That fool, Pierre was having a meltdown.

On the one hand, I wanted him to pull himself together and find an excuse to get Talisa out of the room so he could unlock the door. On the other, I wanted him to shut the hell up and leave before he dug an even bigger hole for the three of us.

Even from Talisa's side profile, I could easily recognise that expression. Pierre was walking on thin ice. She spoke dangerously slowly, looking him dead in the eye. "Your jacket, which you don't even need, is in the kitchen."

Her arms came undone as her voice got louder, running out of patience. "What the fuck's going on? What are you hiding? And why are you stalling?"

Oh, shit. Here goes.

Talisa wasn't stupid. I was surprised she hadn't figured it out already.

"Nothing! Nothing, Talisa."

That clown needed to learn how to tell a half-decent lie.

I'd gone from disliking him from the day he stood stuttering in the Great Hall, to hating him when I realised just how fast he's become central to Louisa's life. Now, here he was, blushing like a fucking tomato whilst talking to my girlfriend. My loathing was off the scale.

I wasn't jealous.

Being jealous meant that you cared and I told myself that I didn't.

About Louisa or Talisa.

"Then, hurry the hell up. Pierre, I can't stand being here a minute. Come on."

She was pacing back and forth quickly, jaw tensed as she lightly ground her teeth together.

From this far away, I couldn't see her pupils but I knew her well enough to know she'd gone far too hard on the molly.

"Yes. Okay," he nodded.

What do you mean 'okay', you idiot?

Louisa and I were pretty tall and although I didn't know how the biology worked, surely that would mean we'd run out of oxygen faster than the average person?

Had it been anyone else, I'd have shouted for them to unlock the door but this would be a disastrous for Talisa to find.

I kept my cursing internal and pressed my lips together, remaining quiet.

"Yes, let's go."

"Wait."

In front of me, I briefly heard Louisa's breath catch.

"Oui?"

I kept doing a double take then I looked at her and saw her in my navy blue sweatshirt. It was one of my favourites and I'd always assumed I'd lost it, the memory of me giving it to her on the bus long ago suppressed somewhere deep inside me.

I was grateful that her back was to me and she couldn't see me falter every time I looked at her.

Recently, I'd become an ace at hiding my emotions and keeping myself expressionless, but around her, I sometimes felt like she could see right through me.

It made me feel uneasy.

I was also grateful that in the close proximity of the small cabinet, I couldn't see her legs because honestly, those shorts left little to the imagination. I didn't want to be reminded of things I used to spend so long dreaming about.

My eyes opened wider as I watched Talisa walk towards the floor-to-ceiling wall cabinets.

"Whose handbag is that on the floor?" She pointed to Louisa's handbag. It was pretty obvious against the thick deep red rug. "The brown one?"

"Oh."

Come on Pierre, surely you can do better than that?

How on earth are you planning on pulling my girlfriend if you can't even form a sentence?

Prick.

"Oh! That."

Talisa was getting pissed off and agitated. I glanced down at the super-high heels she was wearing, the ones she knew I hated because they made her look taller than me.

Indeed, I was aware of my toxic masculinity but it was something I'd been trying to work on.

It was obvious she'd worn them to spite the thought of me.

I thought back to our last interaction but I'd broken the news that I was moving back to Nanna's house. Evidently, she hadn't seen that coming. I thought back to the broken glass that took hours to clean out of my flat's carpet.

She hadn't taken it well and I didn't expect her to. Even though she wasn't aware that I knew, I was well-versed in Talisa's relationship with her family.

Talisa wouldn't ever admit it but she was both terrified and disgusted at the thought of going back home to them. I didn't know what exactly she'd said to her family on the boat, but it was obvious she had made it clear that she didn't want to live with them anymore.

Considering my relationship with my parents, I understood that. I respected it. As a result, I offered for her to stay living in the flat.

That had lessened her anger slightly, but judging by the heels and drug-concoction roaring within her bloodstream, Talisa was still majorly pissed at me.

"Yes. That. And the phone? On the window sill."

That caught my attention.

I dug my hand into my pockets and sure enough, my phone wasn't in it.

You've got to be fucking kidding me. What the hell, Gabriel?

"Uh, how should I know? I don't own this house."

Great work, Pierre. Game over.

"Pierre, I don't believe you."

"It could be anyone's. Prince's mum? Or girlfriend? Mistress? ... Lover?" A soft eyebrow raised across my forehead, as I thought how he could be onto a good way out here if he continued selling it.

To my surprise, he did. "Actually, I have an idea. Why not ask Prince himself? He should be home soon anyw-"

"No." The word left Talisa's mouth sharply.

She must have been self-aware of how high she was and didn't want to be around anyone who knew her too well. "No, it's fine. I literally don't care."

A frustrated sound left her lips, "Oh, just hurry up. I've had a shit few days and I don't want to be late tonight. This is gonna be the only highlight of my week."

"What do you mean? What happened?" Pierre pried, sticking his nose in something that was not his business. I narrowed my eyes at him, hoping he could feel the intensity of my death glare from here.

"Where do I fucking start?" she started. "My partner let me move in with him. And then proceeded to move the hell out. So now I'm stuck living in a damn flat I don't want to be in, completely alone. Absolute joke."

It did feel slightly awkward, listening to Talisa talk shit about me in front of two other people who knew I was right there.

I could see Louisa stiffen in front of me.

"Can you speak a bit slower? I don't really understand when you speak so-"

Dickhead. You heard every word. Stop trying to make me look like a douche in front of both of them and-

"It doesn't matter," she cut in, flipping her straightened hair over her shoulder. "I'll explain in the car. Come on, we're leaving."

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as Talisa wrapped her hand around his arm and pulled him towards the door.

A beat of silence passed as Pierre scratched his head, looking apologetically in our direction. "Erm, yes. Well, I guess we are."

I briefly heard him mumble something under his breath, "That's unfortunate for them, isn't it?"

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"Let's go."

"Great," Talisa jibed sarcastically, venom lacing her voice. "About damn time."

Pierre mouthed 'sorry' at us before getting dragged out of the room by her, the front door slamming shut loudly.

A dark chuckle escaped me as I shook my head in utter disbelief at how the hell I got here. I lifted my arm up and dragged my hand across my face in incredulity, accidentally brushing against Louisa's right hip in the process.

She sharply moved to the left, twisting to the side and shooting me a warning look, "Gabriel."

I lifted both my hands up, palms facing forward in defence and gave her a meaningful look, "It was an accident. Hands are up here."

"Keep them there."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Good, " I repeated, a hint of sarcasm lingering front and centre in my voice.

I was slowly coming to terms that I'd always somewhat care for Louisa, even if I didn't want to and even if she didn't about me.

It was hard, but it was manageable. Something I could cope with.

What I apparently didn't have a handle on was this stupid little fuck called attraction.

It was becoming harder and harder to ignore by the day.

And courtesy of the heat radiating from Louisa's body, which had shot up a good thirty degrees in the mere five seconds since Talisa and Pierre had left, she hadn't got a hold of it either.

Lowkey, it would be a lot more effective to screw like damn bunnies for a day, get it out of our systems and then go back to the way things are.

Obviously, that was never going to happen.

To think I can't even remember the first and last time I kissed her, a solid year ago.

Slightly overwhelmed by how little control I had over my mind, I cleared my throat and tried to shuffle backwards and get out of my head.

It was crazy what close proximity could do to someone. And unfortunately for me, it had only been a minute.

"Do you have enough space?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

I rolled my eyes, observing how she was standing rigidly directly in front of me, her back near my chest with a clear two-inch gap in between us. It was almost as if she was frozen.

"Well, it's obvious you don't. Why don't you move to the left and I'll stand on the right? So that we're shoulder-to-shoulder."

"Honestly, I'm alright," she insisted, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Clearly, you're not."

"Gabriel, I'm fine."

Louisa refused to turn around and look at me, instead keeping her eyes trained on the wooden door in front of her, even though Pierre and Talisa had left.

"Quit being so nervous too. I don't bite. It's unnerving," I taunted, once again thankful that she couldn't see the smirk growing on my full lips.

It seemed I wasn't the only one feeling the heat.

"I'm not nervous," Louisa stated calmly, although the rhythmic drumming of her nails against her upper thigh betrayed her.

I knew she always did that when she was on edge.

"Sure, if you say so," I said, satirically. "Just move to the left, Louisa."

"Okay, fine!"

Before she could change her mind, I stepped to the side so that my right shoulder was now pressed against one wall of the cupboard, creating space to my left.

Louisa clearly misjudged just how big my feet were for as she tried to move her feet to the left, she tripped on my left foot, stacking it.

"Gabe-"

My hand shot out instinctively to hold her before I quickly stopped myself and dug them back into my pockets.

Her knees buckled as she fell to the side and slid down the cupboard almost comically. I tilted my head downwards in her direction, a tuft of hair falling onto my forehead as I watched her, mildly amused.

Louisa cursed at me from the bottom of the cabinet, frustration hollowing out her chestnut eyes and wavy wisps falling out from her messy bun. I noticed how her hair was almost black in the thin light of the enclosed space, but every now and then, a caramel brown strand caught the light.

"Not my fault," I said, succinctly before looking up at the ceiling.

"Arsehole," Louisa scowled, failing tremendously at hoisting herself back up to the ground. "Could have helped."

I lifted my hands up in the air and teased her with a straight face, "Hands are kept up here, remember? Just following instructions."

She muttered something in annoyance under her breadth.

"What was that?"

I had to say, I was strangely enjoying the situation. It had been a long time since I'd gotten a kick out of annoying someone and boy, was this hitting the spot.

"Give me a hand up, Gabriel," Louisa ground out from in between her gritted teeth. I raised an eyebrow in consideration as she got the hint, "Please."

In seconds, my hands wrapped around her waist tightly to effortlessly pull her to her feet.

I stilled for a moment at her touch as she grabbed hold of my forearms to quickly steady herself. Her nails, which rested on my bicep, were adorned in a French manicure. My heart raced for a moment as I glanced at her familiar dainty, hands and long fingers which were embellished with three simple gold rings.

Terrified of the feelings suddenly bubbling away within me, I immediately let go of her waist.

A well-known laugh filled my eyes as Louisa threw her head back, still clutching my upper arms.

I'd forgotten how everything about her was infuriatingly perfect. It was the sound of heaven's bells, each note cascading in light and decorated in the finest of lace.

"What?" I eventually asked spitefully, watching as her gaze hovered over my eyes, which were certainly dark grey by now. 

Her dark thick eyelashes flickered as she let go, one finger at a time. A knowing smile played at her lips, eyes flashing one last time before she averted them towards where her fingers were a moment ago. It felt like I could finally breathe again.

Despite that, I could still feel her touch as if her fingertips had burned an imprint deep into my skin. "Look who's the nervous one now?"

A shaky breath escaped me and I prayed hard that she hadn't noticed.

"Ha." I let out a scoff, folding my arms and tilting my head side-to-side to click my neck. "Good one, Lou."

Sarcasm drenched my voice.

She was oddly silent for a moment and I wondered if I somehow offended her. If anything, she'd been the one who insulted me. Not the other way around.

It doesn't actually matter if I did.

I'm just curious.

After a few beats, Louisa slowly looked up in profound contemplation and searched my face.

For the first time in a while, I felt self-conscious under her unwavering gaze which drifted from the straight of my nose to the angles of my cheekbones and jaw. Eventually, her lips opened, perfectly aligned white teeth on show, "Lou."

I realised my mistake.

"Ah. I see."

Keen to change the subject, I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly, "It's just a nickname."

Louisa gave me a pointed look, far less than happy. "Is it really?"

"Yeah."

I didn't miss a beat.

"Sure thing, Gabe."

Neither did she.

My spine straightened as my muscles tensed, jaw locking tightly into place, "Don't."

"Don't what, Gabe?

I was getting progressively pissed off, hating how she was cornering me into somewhere I didn't want to go.

"You know what."

Acting naive, she rubbed at her chin with the heel of her pal, my navy sweatshirt brushing against her face. "Well, that's strange. I thought it was just a nickname, right?"

I let out an exasperated sound, turning my mental attention towards cursing Pierre. Why on earth had that bugger locked the cabinet in the first place? He could have just told up to get inside and closed the door.

This had to be a fucking set-up.

"Please, Gabriel. We're never actually gonna get anywhere if we're not honest with each other," Louisa pressed, voice growing equally irritated as she shook her head in annoyance.

In the process, her hair came progressively undone until the majority of it was loose. The black hair tie was doing frankly nothing and that vexed me to a surprising extent. I found myself reaching for it to take it out before I could stop myself.

I hesitated for a moment, preparing for her to protest against me in the way she always used to.

She didn't say a word. Instead, I listened almost stunned as her breath caught until I fully pulled it out and put it around my wrist.

"Fine."

It wasn't like I had much choice.

From half a metre away, Louisa's vanilla and musk fragrance was intoxicating and I was drowning in her before I even knew it.

Frankly, I didn't stand a chance and I knew it.

"But that goes both ways. Agreed?"

A tremor of emotion infiltrated her voice as Louisa nodded confidently, tendrils of hair delicately framing her face in the way I used to like.

"Agreed."

i can't breathe. gonna have an oxygen break, real quick lol.

extra long chapter for the two of them though. thoughts?

vote if you enjoyed (:
kiwi x