Alright. I'm so sorry to do this again. But we have another dark chapter. 

On the plus side.... we get to hear from Cadmium!

On the negative side.... Poor, broken Cadmium is dealing with the fact that he will soon be about to watch his sister and brother face each other in the finals of the Hunger Games. 

Due to trauma and the abuse of his past, he seeks solace in the last place that he should. 

***Trigger Warning: There are mentions and inferences of child abuse. There are no explicit scenes. To be clear, I do not condone or approve of the actions or behaviors that are written.***

Take care of yourself and stay safe~ CANGEL

***

District 14

Cadmium Wolfe

     Cadmium didn't sleep that night. He'd found it harder and harder to go home each night to a family that no longer felt like his. Without Scarlet and even Crimson there to greet him, he found little point of returning at all.

     Of course, there was Honey. His eight-year-old sister and the only remaining slaughter female child. But with the winner now guaranteed to be from District 14's Wolfe family, Honey seemed eager to merge with the rest of her siblings. He couldn't exactly blame her for wanting to be close to them, but Cadmium also couldn't copy her.

     Not when he found himself disgusted by his family.

     They were celebrating. Giddily packing up their belongings. Preparing to move into the Victor home. Never mind the fact that they would be watching their children battle to the death in the very near future. The energy in their home made him sick to his stomach.

     Honey would still be a slaughter child, but with a Victor in their family, they'd never need Tesserae again. They'd never want for anything ever again.

     But the fact that this benefit came at the cost of life—one of their siblings lives—left him wishing for the lower survival chances. If it meant they could both come home, he'd trade places with them in a heartbeat.

     Of course, that could never happen though and tomorrow...well, tomorrow...

     Cadmium didn't want to think about tomorrow. He didn't want to think about the future.

     He would be sitting in front of the television with the rest of his family, watching the end of this year's Hunger Games.

     He would be forced to by the governing laws of Panem.

     Because of those laws, he would see the moment one of his siblings died and he would also see one of his siblings becoming a Victor. More than likely, he'd hear his family cheering in the background. Not for the life of their child, but for their own lives being forever changed in that moment.

     Cadmium couldn't think about any more of that tonight.

     So, he went to the place he had managed to avoid since Scarlet and Crimson had been sent to the Capitol as tributes.

     Thanks to his father, Cadmium knew the familiar path that led to the Underworld. Also thanks to his father, Cadmium wasn't stopped at the entrance, his face a familiar sight after the years of showing up with his father.

     "No Bash?" A greasy long-haired man asked, approaching Cadmium almost the moment Cadmium sat down in the bar stool of the center bar.

     It was amazing how fast the creeps came out to play. Especially when they saw someone alone. Someone who might be just desperate enough to take them up on whatever offer they had. It was never worth it. Never. Cadmium had seen enough folks young and old take up offers in times of complete desperation. It never ended well for them.

     This particular bar didn't serve alcohol. They catered to the darker and much more nefarious needs and desires of the 'less than desirable' crowd. As long as they had money or something to offer, they could normally find someone desperate enough to sate them.

     "Nope."

     "Too bad."

     Cadmium glanced over at the man, feeling nothing but disgust at the sight of the man literally licking his lips as his eyes scanned Cadmium's body, before slinking away in search of another option that met his needs.

     He turned back to the counter and knocked against the cheap wood, gaining the attention of the bartender.

     Though she didn't look like much of a threat, with her dull blonde hair and hazel eyes that screamed innocent, he knew she was cold and heartless and ruthless. He'd watched her hang a man in the middle of the Underworld for not paying what was owed after receiving the services that she'd offered. She sent boys half his age into locked private rooms with men older than Bash. Hell, she'd sent Cadmium into rooms with older men and women, each and every time, knowing what was going to happen to him.

     Cadmium didn't like Crystall Whitly. But on a night like tonight, she was exactly who he needed.

     "No Bash?" She asked him.

     "Does it look like he's here?"

     She raised a brow at him, probably taking issue with his attitude.

     Unfortunately for her...and maybe for himself, he wasn't in a mood to correct himself. He should know better than to make her, but the forbidden nature of what he was about to do sent sparks of excitement through him, emboldening him. "Is Mary here?"

     Her lips pursed and her eyes narrowed. "Boy, why on Earth are you looking for Mary?"

     "She offered the last time I was here to pay some good coins." And I need the distraction.

     "You're crazy, boy. Just go home." She took a drink of her beer. "I hear it's down to your brother and sister in the Arena. You won't need the money anymore. Just wait a few more days. Even if you don't have nothing to eat now, just wait."

     "Home is the last place I want to be tonight." He answered firmly, leaving no room for any arguments. Even here, in the place where all the degenerates and the dredges of District 14 live and prowl, no one understood him. He didn't want to be home with his family. He didn't want to think about tomorrow. He just wanted to drown it all out and forget.

     Thankfully, Crystall didn't try to argue with him anymore or talk him out of it. After all, whatever he got paid was only a miniscule amount of what she'd get for allowing Mary to perform down here. And as she walked away to find Mary, Cadmium's shoulders fell slack with relief. He was going to get what he wanted after all.

     It was only minutes later when a hand landed on his shoulder. Cadmium glanced over, seeing the perfectly polished red nails signaling the arrival of Mary.

     "You rang, Pet?"

     "Where do you want to do it?"

     She tipped her head back and laughed, her voice grating on his senses. He ground his teeth together.

     "So eager, Pet. What's the rush?"

     "No rush."

     "Then let me see the merchandise, how about?"

     Cadmium rolled his head around on his shoulders, his back tensing and his spine locking into place as he pulled up his shirt, exposing his back to her.

     Her fingers traced the few scars it held from the last lashing he'd received curtesy of the peacekeepers. Cadmium bit his tongue as she tsked, the slight sting tinged with copper sent endorphins flooding his veins.

     It wasn't enough.

     "You should be taking better care of your body, Pet."

     "Not everyone is as generous as you are." He finally managed, struggling not to wince at the feeling of her nails across his back. It didn't hurt. That was the problem. He wanted to hurt but he loathed the casual contact of someone else's skin against his.

     In public, Mary went by a different name. Lucila Frost. And more specifically, wife of the Mayor of District 14. You could say that she wasn't getting her needs met at home. If she was, she wouldn't be coming here. But then, if Cadmium was married to the Mayor of District 14, with his short, pudgy body and his rounded face that was always a splotchy red and his beady little eyes that were much too narrow for his wide face, then he might also be looking elsewhere to escape what appeared to be a miserable life. He wouldn't come here, but he could at least understand that she wasn't satisfied with the life she led topside.

     That's why she came here, to the Underworld.

     Everyone here knew of Mary's bloody tastes. She was known for her enjoyment of pain. Her merciless and near unsatiable desire to cause pain to others. In particular, to the younger boys of District 14 who had fresh, clear skin for her mark up. Mary was the worst and the best. She caused the most pain. But she spent money on the boys who suited her taste, and she also spent money on treating them afterwards. The healing salve was normally enough to put the boy back together, erasing the marks and the evidence of her abuse, and also leaving behind a blank canvas that she could use again in the future.

     Cadmium figured it was as much about keeping the boys looking pristine and ready for her use again, as it was about helping to keep the Underworld under wraps.

     "Alright. I'll bite, Pet. I'll admit I've been wanting a piece of you for a while now. I won't let a few errant scars get in the way of my fun."

     "So, let's go have some fun." The words tumbled from his mouth in agreement with her, but he was already focused on what was to come. Fun. Pain. He didn't care what they called it as long as it was equivalent to him hurting.

     The sooner they got started, the sooner he could forget. Even for just an hour or two. He could forget everything and just drown in the stinging pain and the pool of his blood.

     "We have an audience tonight, Pet. Let's head to the stage."

     Cadmium spun in the chair and jumped down following the older woman in black through the Underworld.

     There was no turning back past this point.

------------------

It's non-explicit, but you get what happened right? Just another depraved adult taking advantage of a child too young and too broken to realize it. 

One thing I do want to point out is that Cadmium will become a bigger character, which is why I am focusing a lot on him now. I want you to understand him and why he is the way he is. I want you to understand that his brain chemistry is different. 

He does enjoy pain and is a masochist.

However, THIS is trauma. This is abuse. This is nonconsensual even though he is seeking it out. This is NOT appropriate. He is a young child that was exposed this world when he should not have been.

Part of his journey is figuring this out. Processing this. Healing from this. And learning how to be safe. Even in a modern world, if Cadmium had been exposed to this kind abuse, he would still have a trauma response. Children who are abused don't always know that it's abuse. And this effect is only amplified in the worldscape of the Hunger Games. 

As always though, Take care and stay safe. Comment here if you need to vent or want to express your feelings to me or at this book in general. Take a moment to make sure your own mental health is okay, and if it's not call someone you trust. Cadmium will be okay, and you can be okay, too. 
~CANGEL