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I kindly ask that you think about your limits and what you are comfortable reading. If you struggle with self-harm or know someone who does, and reading about it may be a trigger, please don't read. You can skip this chapter as it is vital to Cadmium's story, but not to the story as a whole. Your mental health matters!

988 National Suicide & Crisis Line – text or dial 988

***Trigger Warning: Self-harm***

***

District 14

Cadmium Wolfe

     Cadmium sat cross-legged on an old mat on the floor of his classroom. The cold tiles beneath him seemed to seep through the thin mat, chilling him to the bone. The building was made of brick with broken windows littering each room and the faint smell of dust and rot filled the air, a constant reminder of the neglect and poverty surrounding them.

     There were no desks or tables to sit at, and each room was only occupied by the children, one teacher and a single chalkboard.

     Each classroom held forty students of the same age. Each age group had three separate classrooms assigned to them. Some years, there were only enough children to fill one or two of the classrooms in a particular age group. In those times, the winters that were normally harsh, were bitter and endless, and District 14, struggled to get enough to even support the tesserae children.

     As Cadmium sat in his classroom, filled with thirty-nine other children that were also ten years old, Cadmium tried his best to pay attention to them. Because if he was paying attention to them, then he didn't have to think about why the television was at the front of the classroom with a black screen and what would be shown on it in just a little while.

     On a normal day, everyone would be reading right now. With the subject being one of only a few approved course materials. Scarlet called it propagandic materials. She'd explained it to him once, but he hadn't cared much at the time, so he didn't remember much about her words then. Only that the schools only taught what the Capitol thought would help District 14 benefit Panem.

     On a normal day, Cadmium would be reading about the fur trapping trade. He would be learning about the land outside of the first fence where only fur trappers were allowed to go when trapping season was taking place, and only when escorted by peacekeepers. The second fence marked the end of District 14, but to Cadmium's knowledge, no one had ever even seen that border.

     On a normal day, his sister would be in a different room with Crimson, and they would be learning about fur trapping as well, about tracking and hunting and skinning the creatures caught and how to care for the fur so that it wouldn't get wrecked on the way back to District 14 where it would be sold.

     But today wasn't a normal day.

     Today was the day that each tribute's score would be announced. Today was the day that the Gamemaker's would assign a number to his brother and sister, listing their favorable and negative attributes and characteristics.

     The number that they were given would tell everyone in Panem how high or low the Gamemaker's thought their chances of survival would be once inside the Arena.

     Cadmium tried to tell himself that the number didn't matter. Even if Scarlet got a zero, she could still survive in the Arena. The number meant nothing.

     Nothing.

     But it was easier to distract himself than to try to convince himself that he actually believed his words.

     "So, do you want your brother or your sister to live?" Shelly asked, her brown eyes finding his. "Or do you not have any preference?" Curiosity filled her voice, her brow furrowed as if she were trying to figure out the answer for him.

     His throat constricted as her question echoed through his brain. It was a question that had ripped him up inside from the moment they had volunteered. But it was something that he would never voice aloud, especially to Shelly.

     Shelly was a girl with smooth, shiny locks of freshly washed brown hair. She sat on the mat in front of him. Her father was the Governor and he thought that out of everyone in District 14, she had likely suffered the least of anyone. He didn't think much of her, or her family, that could likely do more for their district—how could they not be able to if they wanted?—And she didn't seem to think much of him, a lowly poor child of the district.

     In school, she normally ignored him, but ever since his brother and sister were both reaped together, she had taken every free opportunity to swivel around and talk to him. She wasn't the only one who had decided that Cadmium was now worthy of attention.

     Nobody had said it directly, but his sudden rise to popularity had been the result of the reaping. Everyone was so glad that it was him and his family suffering, instead of their own. Some of them seemed ignorant that their happiness was in direct correlation to his suffering while others seemed to think that giving him and his siblings attention would make up for that fact and gave them permission to satisfy their curiosity without any thought as to how their questions would affect Cadmium.

     "Maybe you'd be happy to have either one of them come home." She answered herself, pleased to have come to such a conclusion. "Yeah, that would make sense. You know, you have twice as many odds as other families have had in the past with two siblings going in." She smiled at him. "That makes you lucky." Her tone was patronizing as by pointing this out, he would suddenly feel thankful.

     Curiosity was weird.

     The children that he'd known since he was five years old and had started attending school had morphed into curious monsters, unaware or uncaring that their questions and assumptions were too much for him to handle day after day.

     "I bet neither of them get out alive." Trapper said from next to him. "I bet they're both going to die in the bloodbath."

      Cadmium didn't think that was likely to happen. While he wasn't sure if either one of them could win, he thought they would both make it past the bloodbath. But he didn't answer Trapper either.

     "Did you see Scarlet and Crimson at the Opening Ceremonies? They looked so fierce! My dad said that if Crimson had been reaped in a few years, he might've been able to win." Shelly told Trapper, matter-of-factly, as if she were defending Cadmium's siblings.

     A cold hand covered his. He turned away from Shelly and Trapper, finding Aurora Fox looking at him. Once she had his attention, a small red blush spread across her cheeks.

     "Ooh, look, Aurora's holding Cadmium's hand." Someone called from the back of the room, sending the whole room into laughter. Cadmium ignored them, their taunts not bothering him in the slightest, but they bothered Aurora.

     Immediately, she pulled her hand away and turned her head down to the floor. Of course, Cadmium knew that she had a crush on him and had since forever. He didn't like her in that way though, she was quite pretty with pale skin, dark hair and kind, blue eyes.

     For him, she was too good. Too kind. Too nice. Aurora was the type of person who believed in being kind to everyone around her. She was quiet and liked to remain out of the way and in the shadows, which was why they got along so well together.

     Aurora came from a small shopkeeping family. Her mother had died of an illness, shortly after Aurora had been born and her father had died a few years later. Aurora and her brother had been raised by their grandfather. It was three years ago that Aurora's older brother, Barren Fox, had been reaped in the Hunger Games, leaving only her and her grandfather remaining.

     Out of everyone in his class, she would understand best what he was feeling. After all, she was him, three years earlier. Cadmium remembered that year clearly, despite him being so young. It was the year before his sister Aureolin had volunteered that Barren had been reaped. At seventeen years old, he had lasted eight days in the Arena. District 14 had thought they would finally see a tribute come home. Then he had been killed with brutal ease by the remaining Career. And District 14 had been slammed back into its endless cycle of hopelessness and depression.

     Despite the loss that Aurora had been dealt, she had been raised a sheltered life in the town of District 14. Despite being poor, she never had to take the tessara and she had never had to sit in a frozen basement to escape her home or carve ice and crystals until her fingers bled in order to get a few extra coins.

     Cadmium enjoyed her presence, and liked having her as a friend, but the simple fact remained that Cadmium didn't return her feelings.

     He didn't like any of the girls in his class or the other boys for that matter. Maybe that would change. But Cadmium kind of hoped not. While the other kids in his class had started talking about kissing and crushes, Cadmium had nothing to say about it. He had been kissed before. He didn't like it. He'd rather not do it again and he'd certainly rather not kiss any of the kids in his class.

     The only thing that he did know for sure, was that he liked to hurt.

     "You know, it's kind of sad that your sister got reaped." Trapper said mockingly. "My older brother really liked her. He was going to marry her when they got older. But then again, maybe this is payback for what she did to him."

     "Your brother is a piece of slush." Cadmium bit back, turning toward the boy. And so was Trapper. A year or so back, while Cadmium and Crimson had been fighting Trapper and one of Storm's friends, Storm had taken the opportunity and gotten a bit too close to his sister, finding out the hard way just how vicious Scarlet could be when cornered.

     "Your sister's as good as dead." Trapper said harshly.

     Cadmium didn't respond. He couldn't, instead turning away silently, ignoring the disparaging remarks that Trapper continued to make.

     She won't die. She won't die.

     Even as he tried to repeat the words in his head and block everything else out, he couldn't escape the images of his brother and sister's red blood spilling from their dead bodies as seasoned Careers stood over them laughing.

     She won't die. She won't die.

     The images in his head blurred and morphed until only Scarlet lay on the floor bleeding, and instead of the Careers, it was Crimson standing over her in the Arena with a bloodied spear in hand.

     He reached into the pocket of his pants and wrapped his hand around the sharp tip of the carving tool he'd taken to school today. Cadmium pressed the pad of his thumb down on the blade, feeling the sharp sting of pain.

     Cadmium turned toward the front of the classroom and closed his eyes. The tension in his body faded as the images left his brain.

     When he next opened his eyes, he saw the black screen of the television, a stark reminder of what he would be witnessing in just a bit. His brother and sister's odds in the Arena.

     He pressed his thumb down harder against the bladed tool in his pocket.

     A blissful haze started to settle over his mind. This wasn't good--he knew that--but it was better than thinking. It was better than his heart hurting. It was better than—

     "Cadmium, did you hurt yourself?"

     Cadmium looked over at Aurora, the concern in her voice piercing through the fog in his head and found her staring down at his mat in alarm.

     He looked down. Surprise flickered through him at the sight of red lines dripping down his wrist and onto his mat. He released the tool in his pocket and pulled out his hand. No longer in his pocket, blood gushed from the wound on his thumb around a small piece of white that flashed through the red, pooling in the palm of his hand and ran in rivulets down his arm and onto the floor.

     "Cadmium!" Aurora shouted.

     He looked back up toward her. "What?"

     She stared at him in horror, as if she couldn't understand and process what she was seeing. On some level, he recognized that this wasn't normal. Even for him. He'd only meant to make a little cut to drive away the unwanted thoughts inside his brain. Instead, the cut on his thumb was far deeper than he had intended, and he was pretty sure that the white that he had seen was his bone.

     He should be concerned, but the only thing that Cadmium could think was how little it hurts. If the cut was so big, then why didn't it hurt more?

     A hand pressed against the top of his head, rocking his forward a bit. His head lolled that way, seeing Nas next to him. One of Trapper's friends.

     "Cadmium, you're such a freak." He laughed. "Your whole family is a bunch of dead freaks!"

     He felt a low heat building in his gut. His mind was a fog, narrow-mindedly focused on the offensive words that had just been voiced. His body reacted. The fingers of his injured hand curled into a tight fist and without hesitation he launched it at Nas' pretty face.

     Nas flew backwards, landing on top of Trapper. He lunged for the other boy, bringing his fist back and slamming it down against Nas' face for a second time. Blood explodes across his face. Trapper struggles to get free from beneath his friend, but he is trapped underneath the weight of both Cadmium and Nas.

     The room around them exploded into chaos. Screams broke out around him. It registered but didn't deter him from his goal. Making Nas regret ever opening his stupid mouth.

     Hands pull at his shoulders, arms wrap around his waist, trying to get him off. His name was shouted and cursed.

     And Cadmium laughed.

     Maybe Nas was right. Maybe he was a freak. Maybe his entire family were freaks.

     And maybe Cadmium was okay with that.

***

     It took two teachers to pull Cadmium off Nas, and by that time the boy was in bad shape. His nose was definitely broken, his left eye swollen shut, and a massive cut marked his cheekbone. Blood dripped down Nas's face, mixing with tears and snot, as he whimpered against the floor.

     Cadmium's knuckles throbbed with each heartbeat, the skin split and raw. The metallic scent of blood mingled with the stale classroom air. His chest heaved with every breath, anger simmering just beneath the surface.

     His teacher, a big, beefy man who always appeared greasy and disheveled, held Cadmium by the back of his shirt even though Cadmium had stopped resisting the moment he'd been pulled off Nas.

     The rough fabric of his shirt chafed against his nick, and the teacher's grip felt like a vice, unyielding and merciless. The television flickered to life just as two peacekeepers arrived to take Cadmium away.

     "Stop." Cadmium said, as the peacekeepers hold replaced his teachers, desperation fueling his strength. His eyes darted to the television screen, needing to see, needing to know. One of the peacekeepers slammed his face into the cold brick wall. The impact sent a jolt of pain through his skull.

     The haze that had slowly been dissipating returned, and Cadmium fought the fog and the numbness. He couldn't lose focus now. "Let me see!" he shouted, his cracking with the raw emotion cracking in his chest. "I have to see their scores! I have to see my sister's score!"

     A hand pressed against the back of his head, holding Cadmium in place. The rough texture of the bricks scraped against his cheek, and his wrists were locked in metal cuffs behind his back. Cadmium didn't care about any of it, not the discomfort or the impending punishment. He only cared about the screen at the front of the classroom.

     "You can watch, but then you go to the block," a peacekeeper said, his voice void of sympathy despite the severity of the punishment. A public lashing in the cold of District 14 was a punishment mostly utilized when punishing adults.

     Still, Cadmium didn't care. He shook his head against the brick. "I don't care. Just let me see her. Please, let me see her."

     The peacekeepers didn't let him go, but they allowed him to stay in the room and watch the screen from the corner of his eye. His rapid breaths fogged in the cold air as he stared intently, his heart pounding in his chest. District 5. District 6. 7. 8. None of them mattered. 10. 12.

     Finally...finally. District 14.

     Crimson appeared on the screen with his familiar smirk staring back at Cadmium. Arms crossed, showcasing a flushed face and muscles that Cadmium swore he didn't have days before. His brother's hair was washed and styled, his face was clean, and he wore the typical Tribute black shirt with a patch labeled with their district number.

     A single tear fell down Cadmium's cheek as he stared at his brother's face. The other numbers on the screen—age, weight, height, BMI, impairments, health conditions—blurred into the background.

     Cadmium just stared at his brother's face. God's how he missed his brother.

     Then his number appeared: 8.

     The number floated around Crimson on the screen for another minute before his brother disappeared. Pain lanced through Cadmium as sharp as the day he'd watched Crimson leave the reaping stage.

     He sucked in a breath when she appeared. "Scarlet." He whispered her name.

     Her face is clean and pale, the blood from the reaping day long since washed away and the cut either healed or covered with makeup. Her long black hair is pulled back into a ponytail, hanging over her shoulder in wild curls. Her hazel eyes are bright, defiant, and determined. The picture captured her as her hand extended flat in front of her pursed lips as she blew a kiss to all of Panem.

     She looked fierce. She looked like a wolf.

     Cadmium exhaled a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. She hadn't given up. She would never give up.

     The Capitol gave her information. Age. Weight. Height. BMI. Impairments. Health conditions.

     Then the number appeared on the screen.

     His breath left him and his eyes fell closed. Relief washed over him in a wave so strong that his legs would have given out on him if the peacekeepers weren't holding him up against the wall. "You can take me now," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper.

     "That must be one hell of a little girl," one of the peacekeepers remarked, a hint of admiration in his voice.

     Cadmium nodded his head faintly.

     She was.

     She is.

     Scarlet Wolfe would never stop fighting.

     Cadmium took one final look at the screen just as Scarlet disappeared and the peacekeepers pulled him from the wall, escorting him down the halls of his school. Scarlet Wolfe would never stop fighting. Those words repeated through his mind with every beat of his heart, and with every breath that he took, desperate hope filled him. Each step felt lighter than the last, the cool bitter wind hitting his face as they pulled him outside of the school.

     Even though Cadmium was headed to get lashes for the fight he instigated, he couldn't' help the grin that spread across his face. 

     10.

     Scarlet scored a 10.

     But it wasn't just the unexpectedly high number that filled him with hope, far greater than ever before. The hope grew inside of him because there was no impairment listed underneath her picture.

     As he marched toward the block, with the icy wind biting at his skin through his blood-soaked pants and shirt, a certainty filled him.

     Scarlet Wolfe could win. 

------------

A 10! Wow. Now, between what she showed them in the group training and what she did in the individual assessment, did she earn it? Or is it a punishment? And if it was meant to be a punishment, did they succeed?

I feel like it was meant to be a punishment, but Scarlet isn't trying to hide her skills, and her goal all along has been to get the other tributes riled up and pissed off at her. Being outscored by her would certainly do the trick, especially for the Career pack and District 4.

What do you think? Is it too high? Is it impossible?

Do you have any predictions as to how her score affect her time in the arena? 

As stated at the top of the page, I hope that if you have finished reading this chapter, you were not triggered. If you were, reach out to someone you trust. I do not promote self-harm and believe that each person should have a safe body.

Self-harm and machoism are not the same thing, regardless, neither are safe actions for a ten-year-old to take. 

Remember to comment, like and vote if you are enjoying my story!

Take care and stay safe!~ CANGEL