The wind swept the little nature left in the chaotic land away. The Shadows put up a good fight - Issac's shadow was almost invisible to Vlad - but they could never keep up with them. Soon he would acquire the stone, and balance would be restored. He wondered why those beings had to fight anyway. His methods wouldn't affect them at all, maybe affect life a little by gradually wiping it out. Entropy would reverse for a bit, but life would be restored again. It would be as if no time passed for the Shadow Beings. They can just exit now and enter at a later point. Why were they being such a nuisance? Even the Shadow of Nature? Grace too? And especially Chaos - he surely understands how much pain they're causing the Demons?

"You are causing them pain, Vlad. Do not blame this on the Shadow-Trappers."

The heavy voice scared Vlad. So weak, so frail, yet so confident. That could only be the true Demon Lord.

Then what am I?

"It is for their own good. With the ways of the shadow-trappers, the demons will have to be the nonsensical idea of what living things think is true. Demons are bad, angels are good. As if the world is that simple."

"But we are using their terms. Chaos, demon, land, these are all their words."

How did higher existences borrow terms from the lower ones, terms that existed in a time yet to pass?

A thunder of noise rang around the entity. He did not expect the Shadow-Trappers to hold their own for so long. He was convinced they were lucky because of the chaos in his mind. He just had to calm down, and all would be his.

Could Rage ever calm down?

He could feel the cold sharpness of the wind. The feel of the destructive land. The despair of life. The inevitability of nature. The inevitability of his nature. Emotions. Thoughts. Logic. Feelings. Life's mind. Unsettled. The downward spiral into the abyss of rage.

Then came quietude. Something drummed in the entity's mind. Taunting, threatening, angering, until Rage found the pattern. A nice beat to calm him. Just follow the beat and all will be well. Follow the rhythm and all will be well.

Then he saw her.

Darkness trailed behind her, a calming darkness that only Vlad could see. The drumming stopped, becoming the entity's heartbeat in the cavity that remain in its vessel. It was as if the world melted away, and only she was there. The intrusion of sanity left, the need of understanding was gone. The cavity felt hollow, so devoid of hope, yet everything was okay. The world was raging, yet everything was silent. He was raging, but at least in that moment, he understood.

"It is okay, Vlad.

"It is okay."

Perhaps he wasn't so alone.

- - - - -

What am I doing?

Blink. The entity's reality came into focus as it waged war on it, unleashing rage.

What good will it do by unleashing this? You can't let the emotion escape, keep it under control.

What do you mean? I am Rage. I have infinite Rage.

It will run out and this hybrid being will come undone. Stop before you make things worse.

Before you make things worse? One component of the 3 speaks to another. The three of us make this being. What are you talking about?

Who am I? What am I? What are we? The name Vlad, what does it imply? Who does it point to? Who knows about us? Who understands us? Who understands us? Who are we?

Who are you blaming? What am I doing? What am I supposed to do? Who am I? Who am I supposed to be? Why are we here? Why are we doing what we are doing? What are we doing? Destruction. Why are we destroying? What are we destroying? Who are we destroying?

Where are we? When are we? Out of Time. What does that mean? We are on the timeline. Stop this contradiction!

What should I be doing? What is going on? Everything is too bright, I cannot see. I do not understand! Somebody help me understand. Somebody help us understand!

If I am a mere emotion, why did you give me a voice and why did you give me a consciousness? Why can't you shove me back where I came from and seal the hole?

Ridiculous... you are all useless... I am useless... everything is useless... just end this!

All of you Shadow-Trappers, end this! Why did you take my voice away, they can't hear me! Don't confine my voice! Let them hear me! Stop! Stop... take my consciousness away too then. How can you even create an external consciousness? How can you reach neutrality that way?

Oh... you can't. Not without creating it in a state of duality. Below zero yet above zero, fluctuating in an infinitesimal amount of time as a result of which something else alternates. How cruel. You made me this way. You made such a brash emotion this way. Why? Guilt would've been kinder. Guilt would've made more sense. At least it might've made you all think.

No one understands me... No one understands me.

Quietude followed before the bubbling red burst as the emotion found itself in an eccentric blend of confusion and clarity. Darkness followed, the energy like a thread consuming any energy it met.

One gone. Two gone. Countered the energy as it fell back.

Wait... one does understand me. She's here. She's...

Gone.

What did I do?

...

What did I do?

I destroyed her.

The Shadow's energy brutally burst out, flooding the dimension with such blinding energy for others. So full of duty and kindness and sacrifice, but for the entity...

What have I done?

All it felt was loneliness.

How could I destroy you?

Rage's hope shattered. Menod's sanity was overcome with grief. For the briefest possible moment, Triyeal exchanged places with Sousconic to shield it from that emotion. Vlad shouldn't acquire it. Triyeal, in all her experience of sentience, had never seen such pain wrought from anger due to sadness.

The drums of Vlad's rage rung out, and Triyeal wondered if they could be stopped now. Sousconic returned. This was his responsibility.

"Let them... go."

The Demon Lord inside. What, did she try to command an entity she couldn't possibly understand? Or was that a request? A wish?

No matter. It was all futile. At least this way the minds of the demons would be shielded from the world's suffering.

Demonic Creatures. Shouldn't exist. Wind Phoenexias. Shouldn't exist - well, at least that's nearly done. 

Shadow-Trappers. Shouldn't be as they are now. Demons. Fixing it. Phoenexias. Same as the Shadow-Trappers, probably.

Angels, the only untouched ones. Perhaps I want to see them, just once, but that would defeat the purpose. The existence that is the limit the others must tend to. Everything will be returned to how it should be, won't it?

Won't it? Won't it? 

But if everything is useless, what am I doing? How does the ideal picture matter? What are all of them doing? How do they disillusion themselves with the notion of meaning? How do they lie to themselves? What about the Shadow of Truth?

A warm colour with the tinges of fire. A comforting glow that could pick up the entity and drop it in some place of protection. The innocence of existence wouldn't matter as long as he was there.

Vlad fought as hard as he could, but their leader's energy was too warm, too softening, as if creating a bubble so similar to his home... that part of him just wanted to go back, confined but safe. Away from this world that hurt him, becoming a mere part of it again. 

Back to the One.

Oh, who cares... I do not have the space to care... let those two hold onto this being for as long as they can... I want to rest...

Vlad recalled that bitter truth their leader told him about, the appalling bubble of energy that had been trapped within him because of "his actions", whatever that meant.

They shouldn't exist, but perhaps this is what nature dictates for now... stay inside, you'll be safe from the cruel world.

Perhaps everyone should already return to the One. Be safe from this cruel world.

Especially those seven. The other four, too. 

And me.

- - - - -

It is here. After so long...

I feel its presence again. Returning to a chaotic home, a place that is like this because of me. Does he fear me? Does he hate me? Do I anger him? Does he care about me?

A test for him awaits. Do I even have the right to test him? It waits anyway.

His aura creeps onto this land. Oblivious of their bond, yet he is aware of instinctual protection... for the land and the demons.

And a possible hatred for me.

He is accompanied by so many others of nature. Are they all oblivious of the truth? Especially she? Has the stupidity of caution been fed to them? What are they here for? The key to my stone. What good will doing all of this do? They know that it must be returned to me eventually. Are they trying to gain some semblance of control? False meaning, again.

Closer.

What are they even fighting? Me? I only wish to help them and those miserable existences... their destruction is inevitable. They will die out.

He already holds such hesitance with the presence of this land. Can he sense me? What does he think of my presence? That doesn't matter.

Closer.

Fighting nature is useless, they should know that. The equilibrium must be restored. Do they wish to destroy the world or are their actions a product of pointless morals? Another thing "learned" from living things...

Closer. Closer

Or are they all simply following their nature too?

He is here. Cautious, yet it must do what its instinct tells it. What its nature tells it.

The crimson shadow reached its test. A trust put into him by the most alone being in the world. Could it return it? Could it ever return it? 

The crimson fingers reached towards the turbulent fog, wary of the soft drumming but it didn't evade the uncomfortable sound. Something familiar, something that deeply saddened him, something that pulled him into a void... and he came.

For a moment the touch was soft. Silent, caring, listening... nearing trust. Nearing an emotion the being came from. Nearing the truth of their bond, the way it should be.

The finger lingered and something shot through it. Retracted.

He's pulling himself back. He's also going to take it away from me.

Rage burst across the land, confused and scared, running frantically across another place it had never been welcome in.

Control yourself. Control yourself!

The panic only heightened as the entity roamed wildly, looking for temporary comfort. Every place was closed, every place was cautioned, and everything was foreign.

I would go home if I could! 

Dark, turbulent elements of nature, on a false notion that they protected themselves. There was nothing of value in the world.

It was then that the orange glow came into the entity's view, shining softly. So compassionate, the semblance of a home as it waited patiently. Why did it stand open? Why did it care so blindly? Why did it listen so keenly? Why did it not cover its glow? 

The crimson aura drifted towards it. 

Knock knock.

You don't need to knock.

----- -------

Something terribly heavy tugged at Audrey's gut. Her throat felt choked, air moving in with breaths of effort. Trying to clear her mind to little avail. Her fingertips tingled with a painful sensation, afraid to touch anything but the comfort of Nature's elements. The calming cold of dewdrops, bringing her back from that story to the comfort of Reality.

Such physical sensations alleviate from a saddening mental space, a maddening mental space...

Seeing all of this meant Vlad trusted her, didn't it?

Why would anyone possibly trust her? Why is she the leader? What is she doing? Does she know what she has to do? What does she care about? What should she care about? Being idle for so long, "reflecting"... will that do any good? Is that doing any good?  

Why does she exist? Has her existence actually done any good? Has she done anything different, anything that mattered? Anyone could be born in her situation, with the same composition, and everything might just proceed better. What of the pain she had given the demonic creatures? What if she had hurt more humans than she helped? She didn't want to hurt anyone or anything, ever, but how much do intentions matter?

What about her friends? She was so blind to their troubles despite the trust they place in her...

She was frustrated, but that wasn't enough.

I want to be angry. I want to feel anger. 

I want to feel it properly!

"An unpleasant emotion. You never let yourself feel it, did you? Perhaps unwittingly..."

Sorrow is beautiful, guilt is wakening as is frustration, apprehension is protecting, and so on and on...

"Coming close to it, feelings it neighbours. Gaining a glimpse of it, feeling it for a short moment."

Frustrated with myself, sometimes even others, but never angry?

"What's the point of feeling it now? Are you angry at anyone? Anything? Do you want to go back in time and simply insert it in your timeline?"

But that day... that moment... that instant... and that memory. That one moment in time. The day you took my friend from of us and I remembered the first instance of anger... or perhaps I was so naive that I had only almost felt it.

Or it simply dissipated away. Extinguished as it burned.

"Emotions are important, dear. But it is necessary to control them."

The soft echo of that memory in time, once again. Two instances of anger. But it wasn't Vlad's fault, was it? Something of nature, something uncontrollable, it was simply the way things were. Vlad, as an individual, never wished for anything bad. Drifting as nature dictated, doing what it thought was right. What good will morality do? nature goes on.

Do I have control, then? Am I capable of doing anything? Could I have not done things in a better manner? Can I do things differently, or am I a slave of my nature too? Are we all slaves of nature, useless? 

"Do you feel like you're being controlled, Vlad? Or perhaps were?"

The silence gripped the space between the two voices, then realising it to relief.

"I think I was."

Do you know who you are? Do you feel free from nature? Do you care about anything, or are you content with drifting as dictated?

"You were?"

The wind picked up its pace, reminding the shadow-trapper where she was.

"The actions I've taken are mine. They are my responsibility. Who I am and what that means is something I can't tell."

Do you know who you are? Do you trust no one, or just me? Do you think no one will understand, or just me?

Have I never been angry because I see the good intentions? How much do intentions matter, if at all?

"Are you angry?"

"It's difficult to be angry when there is so much more that I need to care for."

Who would I be angry at, anyway?

"Need to?"

"That I care for."

"You have time now."

Time. Such a fickle thing. So many have come to their time's end, so many are suffering for what is left.

Was it all because of Vlad and the place it came from?

"Why did you take them from me? Why? Why did we ever have to even fight in the first place? What's the point of existing, forming bonds, breaking them and then not existing - we're not living things so we don't even die? But I suppose some bonds are out of time for me... many, in fact. Is this true for living things, too?"

The lightest drops of water fell from the sky.

"And I know it's not as if you've taken everyone away, I still have so many people. But why, why does it feel like I need those who've gone the most? It's so unfair to everyone here who is doing so much for me! Loneliness, what a foolish thing. Everyone is alone. Still, I have everyone with me."

The sunlight's glow brightened ever-so-slightly, its hue warming up. 

"Memories, presence, aura... I have everyone with me. You too."

I have so much. I don't know what I must do, but I have so much to be grateful for. And I am... I must persist with this kindness given to me, to all of us.

I suppose this is why I do not feel this emotion properly. It simply doesn't persist within me, something else does.

"Why did you trust me? I don't mean just now, or just me. Mildred, from the time you first came here, our battles and exchanges... how could you trust me?"

"The Shadow of Chaos couldn't trust me and he can't be blamed, of course. Being told that he has a connection to the demons was perhaps okay, especially since he felt it too somewhere, even if the demons weren't remembered... fondly, at the time. But being told that he has a connection to me... of course he couldn't open the stone's cage with the full trust it required. No one could, except perhaps you.

"That little wisp of smoke made its way to you and that established our connection. I am so sorry that it gave you pain, even if it gave me some relief. No one would've accepted the attack like you did and you might think that make you weak, but I think it makes you accepting.

"Your body dodged it, your energy dodged it, your aura dodged it, your mind dodged it, but you didn't."

The first tear streamed down.

"And that wasn't the only time. Again and again have I troubled you in the worst of times and you tried to throw me out, but you didn't. Or you couldn't. And you have never not been strong enough.

"Even at the very end. Why did you wish to not kill me?"

The wind stopped, as did the rain. The clouds had moved to cover the sun and everything remained dull.

I don't know.

"You care for the wrong things, but all of that makes you."

You. Me. I. Useless.

I hate myself. I am scared of myself. I am angry at myself.

... or  I really could be, but I am somehow not. Things are going fine. We are headed somewhere. We must keep trying, no matter how uncertain everything seems.

I don't know what I care for, but I have a responsibility to this world and I want them to be at peace.

The last tear streamed down.

"There are so many questions that still burn in me, but I suppose..."

Two is all I get. Not that I need or want anymore.

"I still have time, something you don't anymore. Everything is a blur, the epitome of chaos."

Leaving us here, giving us suffering so that we can learn. Improve, understand and grow. Unpleasant emotions... not negative for sure. Was that how everything worked?

"Goodbye."

I really do respect you.
Thank you.

"Goodbye, Vlad."