Chapter 12

While Jack was having an existential crisis, Danny was with Merritt in the living room. Lula came in and asked, "have you seen what Jack's been tweeting?"

"No, Why?" the two men asked her.

"Its really...Emo?"

Danny pulled out his phone and looked at the tweets,

"There's a story at the bottom of this bottle / and I'm the pen."

"I'm sorry I can't be perfect."

"I've become so numb / I can't feel you there."

Stood out to Danny the most. He thought about the last few months, their relationship had been rocky for quite a while- thanks to Danny not listening and giving Jack a chance to talk and explain things. They had gotten back together and then were off to expose the guy in New York, and ended up in China. That was stressful, and then they were in London and then back in China. Jack had been at the will of others for so long, and then he had gotten hurt, and was now recovering.

Danny saw the differences in Jack, He saw how Jack was anxious a lot, he fiddled with the edge of his shirts and Jackets. He wouldn't make eye contact most of the time, when talking and he seems overall, not very confident. Jack would also lock himself up in rooms and not come out for hours. The shine in his eyes was slowly leaving, and it worried Danny.

Meanwhile, Jack was debating his place. He knew he had some skill, otherwise he wouldn't be here, but was he good enough to stay. What if his hand didn't work right afterwards, he'd be no help. He would only slow them down. Tears began to fall, and he couldn't stop. He was scared of what the future held.

Merritt looked at the tweets and said to Danny, "go find your boy, and remind him you care. He's internalized this all. He's trying to carry on as if nothing happened, and its not working. Its taken him several months to be able to talk relatively normal- that was speech therapy almost every day for several hours a day. Once his hand comes out of the cast, you and I both know he's going to try and use his hand, and we both know its not going to have the strength. Physical therapy will help that, but he is going to feel like shit. So go help him now, or help him later when he's a bigger mess of emotions."

Danny went off to find Jack. Wandering through the halls and rooms of the huge mansion, he finally found Jack. When he opened the door and saw Jack curled up on the floor, in the dark, it broke his heart a little, Jack looked so sad. Sitting beside him, he wrapped an arm around the younger man and pulled him close. Jack began to cry harder, into Danny's shoulder. Rubbing his back, he tried to calm his boyfriend down before he asked what was wrong. It took quite a few minutes, but Jack finally calmed down.

"what's wrong?" Danny asked.

"I...there's so much. I can't...what if....I don't know..." Jack said.

"Let's take it step by step." Danny suggested. The speech therapist had offered some advice to Danny on how to proceed with Jack. The more worked up the younger man was, the less you were able to understand him.

"What if my hand isn't the same? I wont be any good to you guys."

"Jack, Left hand or not, you're a horsemen. No one can take that from you. You deserve to be here, you do. Maybe its not as good as it once was, but, you are still incredible. Its not going to be perfect all at once, it'll take time."

Jack nodded slowly.

"Now what else is bothering you?"

"what if its no good?"

"Then you do tricks that you can do, and you don't worry about what you can do, or what you once could do."

"Why do you like me Danny? I Lied to you, about being dead, I didn't tell you how old I was, and I'm...I have issues now to Tressler, I can't...speak the same as I did. Its either all with a stutter, or with massive gaps...I..."

"Jack, I like you, because you're Jack. You love magic, its your life, you have my back even when I'm being a dick- and chances are I'm being a dick. You liked me despite the fact I'm an asshole, and egotistic. You brought me to reality, that everything wasn't about me, it was about us. I tried to take control, and I helped steered us into this last mess. I'm not perfect, and I know that sometimes, there are things I can't control. Like being in love with you. At first it scared me, I don't do relationships, I don't do emotions very well, most people see me as a jackass and thats it.

You saw me as a person, with flaws. With likes and dislikes, and the need to be in control, you let me have control, and let me, be me, the real me. If you wanted me to talk about the physical you, I'd say I love your eyes. They're so big and brown, they make me lose track of what I was thinking of. I love your smile, and the way your smile reaches your eyes. I love how your hand fits in mine, and how when we hug, or are close, your body fits with mine. I love when you wear your tightest jeans, and leather jacket. It shows off how sexy you are, and how good you look the you borrow my clothes.

I love how when you sleep, your mouth is open slightly, your hair is everywhere, and you're at peace. I love you Jack Wilder. I love you and it damn well scares me."

Danny said ranting at first, but slowly slowed down and talked softer and softer. By the time he finished, he was nearly at a whisper. Jack looked at him, and then hugged him quickly. He cried into his shoulder. That was the other thing with Jack's head injury, it left him highly emotional, he'd cry at the drop of a hat at times. It was hard for Danny, but he came around to accepting that Jack couldn't exactly control it because he suffered Brain Trauma. Holding his parter close, he rubbed his back until he calmed down once again. 

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