Hey guys, vidar here!
So... where should I start?
This story was made so that I can tell all of you on wattpad, who I'd like to call my friends, my life story.
My life's been filled with betrayals, mistrust, abuse, ridicule, suffering, loneliness, mental breakdowns, and all things in between.
Even up to today, I'm still suffering, and still truly alone on my problems.
So, if I'm gonna start my life, I gotta tell you about my parents.

My mom's name is Amee and my dad's name is Rafael.
My mom says I take alot of my aspects from her even though I'm male.
My mom since she was in highschool had used drugs and up to about 6 years ago, she still was.
She's 56 years old this year, so that was a long addiction period.
My mom met my dad and started dating exactly 1 year from when I was born.

My dad at this point has had 2 ex-wives before this and has had 5 children before me.
My 2 older sister's marline and Jasmine, and my 3 older brothers, Hugo, Rafael the second, and Adam.
Then my mom finally got pregnant with me, and she stayed clean while pregnant with me to try and get me born safely.
I was 1 week late with being born and was born in a el Monte hospital on May 31st, 2003.
I was born and my mom stayed sober for 2 months after I was old, before she started doing drugs again.

I started remembering things at a very young age, so I remember a lot of things my parents themselves may have forgotten.
When I was 5 months old, still a infant, my mom a drug friend of hers went out and bought their usual amount of heroin and where injecting it into them.
I was in the backseat in my carseat and I could see clearly my mom injecting it into herself.
After that, I grew a unconscious fear of needles and syringes.

Most kids grow up with children in the neighborhood and become friends and playmates.
Well, not me.
I grew up without friends.
When growing up in the neighborhood I did, there was a park down the street that my mom would always take me too.
All the kids of my neighborhood would play there also.
But because of my mom being a drug addict, the other moms told their children to never go near me.
Whenever a kid would try to come play with me, their mother would pull them back and tell them off.
Because of that I would always just sit on a bench alone and just be by myself.
The moms in the park would always call me "the spawn of a drugged up whore" and because of that, whenever someone talks bad about me or my mom, or anyone or anything I care about, I'll do anything to make them take their words back or make them suffer for it.

Well, I guess you could say I had one friend.
With me being alone all the time and not having friends my brain made its own second personality and put that personality into my stuffed animal I named kipper.
It's sad how the only person I could trust wouldn't leave me and hasn't at one point or another left me is a stuffed animal.
Even now, he's in my room talking to me and having a conversation with me.
He's my most prised possession.
Let's just say the last person who damaged kipper didn't get up for a while.

My parents always used to fight alot.
While they fought and yelled alot, I would either play with my toys, or hold kipper and look out the window at the stars.
I'd always look away from them fighting.
But... looking back on it now I would look away for a different reason.
I'd look away to protect myself.
Not physically, but mentally.
I wanted to protect my smallest sliver of life that we where a real family.
But I guess I couldn't protect it in the end.