Hello hello! Sorry this took as long as it did, I had finals that kicked my ass and was just too busy to write. I also wasn't sure what to do with this chapter, I kept deleting and starting over cause I just didn't like anything that was coming to mind. This is now the final product and I'm still not too sure how I feel, it just seems all over the place, but it's okay cause it's not the BIG important chapter, that's the next one ❤️

2.2k words

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Tormented

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Anakin's POV
We landed somewhere I knew she would love. Somewhere I hoped she would one day consider home.

I remember the first time I brought her here, it was a stressful and new time for us. I barely knew her and was treating her in a way that wasn't very deserving, but still, I knew she adored this place the moment we stepped off the ship that day. Her eyes had lit up with such breathtaking amazement that the image has stayed with me ever since.

And it made me smile to see that exact look returned the moment we touched down, and it only deepened as we stepped off the ship's ramp and made our way toward a familiar lakeside house.

The lake house that once belonged to Padmé Amidala. Little does she know, it doesn't belong to Padmé anymore.

"Ani—" She breathed, eyes locked on the house with a mix of awe, but also confusion. "What are we doing here?"

I stopped walking and turned to face her, reaching for her hands. I held them gently between mine, "I asked Padmé if we could borrow the house for the night," I said, careful not to let either of the surprises slip just yet. "She agreed, on one condition."

"Which was?" She raised a brow.

Before I could tell her, the front door opened, and Padmé stepped out, cutting me off with her typical vibrant energy.

"Finally!" she called out, throwing her hands in the air as if she'd been waiting for hours. Which, to be fair, she probably has been. "I was starting to worry. The cake is almost done and if we don't get this show going soon, it's going to cool. And trust me when I say that this cake has to be eaten warm and moist or it's just not the same."

"Cake? Show?" (Y/n) looked utterly confused, her eyes flicking upward as if mentally scanning dates, probably wondering if she had forgotten my birthday, or possibly even her own. "What is going—?"

"Padmé knows about us," I said before she could think too much, "I told her."

Her eyes widened instantly, darting between me and Padmé. There was a pause, long enough for me to see the different emotions shifting through her eyes. First she was shocked, then she panicked a little, and lastly it finally went into something quieter, softer, and less anxious - complete relief. She knows as much as I do that a secret is heavy, and having one less person to lie to is relieving in a way that's hard to describe.

"In his defense," Padmé chimed in, clearly enjoying herself, "He wasn't exactly eager to confess. I practically had to choke it out of him."

I rolled my eyes. "She wouldn't give me the house unless I told her why I wanted it."

"And if we're being completely honest," Padmé added, hands on her hips now, "I knew the whole time, especially after my ball. You two are lucky Jedi aren't the most emotionally intuitive people in the galaxy, because the way you looked at each other that night? It was as clear as day."

(y/n) looked back at me, still stunned. Her lips parted, as if she wanted to say something, but no words came.

"Oh, and don't worry," Padmé added gently, her voice softening as she saw the worry flicker in (y/n)'s eyes, "Your secret is safe with me, I'll take it to my grave."

"Okay, I appreciate that Padmé, really I do." (y/n) said slowly, blinking as if trying to catch up with everything, "But what does any of that have to do with cake?" Her voice cracked on the last word, not with panic, but with confusion. Leave it to her to ask the most unimportant question. It made me want to laugh and cry at the same time, "Are you celebrating us or something?"

Before either of us could respond, more footsteps approached.

Cal Kestis came into view, arms crossed and looking more amused than surprised. "You seriously didn't tell her why you brought her here?" He raised a brow. "How was she supposed to pack properly?"

"Padmé and I handled it," another voice said from behind him.

Ahsoka stepped forward, her eyes finding mine. There was something unreadable in her gaze, an edge of coldness I hadn't expected or deserved, but when her attention shifted to (y/n), her entire expression softened. I brushed it off as her usual bitterness and attitude problems.

"He's lucky I know her taste," she said with a small smile.

"You know?" (y/n)'s mouth dropped open. Ahsoka nodded. "I'm so sorry, I wanted to tell you, I really did—"

Ahsoka held her hand up. "Sure, I would've preferred if you told me, but I understand why you didn't." She flicked a quick glance in my direction, "I'll admit I had my suspicions. I'm not blind, and then your Master over here only confirmed it when he came to me earlier today."

"I knew you wouldn't be fully happy if we went through today without her," I said, tightening my hold on (y/n)'s hand. I saw how much it pained her every-time she had to lie to someone so important to her, so I made the decision to tell Ahsoka myself, knowing that she, just as Padme, would take this secret to her grave.

I know we had agreed that the less people that know, the better. But all of that stopped mattering to me. Her happiness and our future are what matters and it really won't matter who knows once we leave the order, they can't control us and will have no say then. Even if they somehow find out tomorrow, I won't care, I'd leave with her immediately. To hell with them and to hell with... those dreams. That future, the one with her no longer here with me, will never become real.

"What is going on?" she asked, her breath catching. "Is there anyone who doesn't know? Should I expect the Jedi Council in there too?" She pointed toward the house, exasperated, overwhelmed, confused.

Cal and I both chuckled.

"My love," I said, brushing her cheek with my fingertips. Her skin was warm from the blood rushing to her face. I stepped closer, heart thundering now that the moment had arrived. "I'm tired of waiting. I don't want to waste another second waiting for the right moment, or pretending I can survive another second without calling you my wife."

Her eyes filled with tears the moment she realized what exactly today was going to be for us.

"I want you to marry me," I said, voice low and steady. "Here. Today, with everyone we love."

Almost everyone.

The wind off the lake brushed past us, lifting a few strands of her hair as time stood still again. I could feel her pulse beneath my thumb and her lips trembled as they parted. I already knew before she spoke that her answer would be yes.

🖤

I sat in a room upstairs, away from everyone else. My future wife was somewhere else in this house, getting ready with both Padmé and Ahsoka, while I sat here wishing Obi-Wan were here. He was the one person who couldn't come today. In his defense, he didn't know, but after the way he reacted before, could I really be blamed for not wanting him here? For not trusting him enough to know?

When I told Ahsoka, she made it clear she already knew. The same went for Padmé. They were the ones who deserved to be here, the ones who had suspected or known but said nothing, simply because they cared more about our happiness than anything else. Obi-Wan may not have told anyone, but I could always see the disapproval in his eyes whenever he saw her and I together. The judgment. The distaste. The confusion over what to do. It hurt. He was supposed to be my best man today. He raised me. He had, at one point, meant everything to me. And now it was starting to feel like he meant nothing at all, or that I meant nothing at all.

It was always going to the order above me, I should have known.

I sighed and ran my hands over my face, then picked up the cup beside me and took a sip. I immediately grimaced the moment the liquid touched my tongue.

Water.

"You didn't think I'd let you have alcohol on your big night, did you?" Cal leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed and a smug grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"I suppose I should've expected it." I downed the rest without complaint and set the glass back on the table. "Is she ready?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I came to check on you. You've been very..." He paused, searching for the right word. "Quiet. Different. Broody."

"I get it," I said, raising an eyebrow.

He smirked faintly. "What's wrong?"

I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. "A lot of things." I wanted to confide in him, in someone, but I didn't know how. And I already felt crazy, I didn't need anyone looking at me like I am.

He tilted his head, studying me. "Do you not want to do this today?"

I looked at him like he had lost his mind. "Of course I do. It's the only thing I want right now. It's just..." I trailed off, running my hands through my hair. "I just wish Obi-Wan could've been here and..."

My eyes drifted to the corner of the room. There she was again. She stood silently, watching me. Lifeless eyes. No expression. No movement. Just watching. Like a nightmare that followed me from sleep into waking life. Even when I close my eyes, I see her. Why am I being tormented this way?
(See what I did there? I miss writing for that damn book.)

"Hello?" Cal's voice cut through my thoughts. I blinked and turned to look at him, "What are you looking at?" he asked, glancing toward the same corner.

I looked back, but the ghostly image of (y/n) was gone.

"Nothing," I muttered. "I was just thinking." I leaned back in the chair, trying to steady myself. "Promise me something."

Cal stepped further into the room. "What kind of something?"

"If anything ever happens to her..." I looked him in the eyes. "Do me a favor and kill me."

He blinked, stunned for a moment, then let out a sharp laugh. "Why do you have to be so dramatic? Nothing is going to happen to her, not with her guardian angel stalking her every move." By guardian angel, he meant me, "You're the most talented Jedi I know," he went on, his voice softer now. "Honestly, I'm jealous you're not my mentor. And that's exactly why I believe she's the safest and most well-protected person in the galaxy."

I smiled at his attempt to reassure me, but it didn't land the way he'd hoped. "Just promise me," I said quietly, my voice nearly faltering. "Anything can happen in this war, and..." I paused, swallowing the lump rising in my throat. "I can't live without her. There would be no point or purpose in being alive if she wasn't. You of all people should understand that."

He fell silent. The usual playfulness in his face faded entirely.

"I do understand," he said after a beat. He was standing beside me now, his expression unreadable. "If she dies, I'll kill you." He offered a half-smile that held no humor. "As long as, if Ahsoka dies, you'll give me the same courtesy."

"You love her that much?" I asked, surprised. I knew little about the relationship they shared—I hadn't realized it ran this deep.

He shrugged lightly. "She and I were younglings together. I doubt she remembers much of that time. Her focus was always on improving, on being the best. But I remember. I remember being partnered with her nearly every day, I remember watching her grow stronger, faster, more confident. I remember how sassy she was with the other younglings and how funny she could be when no one expected it." He paused for a moment, as if searching for the right words. "She's been the object of my affection for a long time. So even if what we have now isn't what you and (y/n) have, the loyalty is there. The devotion is there. A galaxy without her would feel... unbalanced to me. I just want to go wherever she goes."

I lifted my hand. "A death pact it is, then."

He clasped it firmly. "Let's just hope it never comes to that."

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I feel a little fucked up for that ending