It all started back in January, 2019, around 11am. Fandid had started to get it's footing, the great nugget wars of November had ended, the userbase had been steadily growing, Sovet was still a weird outcast, All was good. I myself had just dropped online for the third time that day, and had just posted a photo of Steven Hawking dabbing under my usual tag, Ya Boi.

That's where it begun.

There were a couple comments, nothing mental, that's when I got it. Someone DM'd me out the blue with a Youtube link, "Boy, you got to look at this, NOW". Slightly taken aback, I tapped the link, and my blood froze. It was a Jake Paul video, uploaded 40 seconds ago. He did it.

"YO, WHAT'S UP JAKEPAULERS, TODAY, I'M GONNA SHOUT-OUT THIS LITTLE APP CALLED "FANDID", IT'S PRETTY DOPE, CHECK IT OUT" He screams out while furiously dabbing. In a panic, I got back to the app just in time to see one last post before it happened "You should have liked my memes more. ~Rich Guy".

You mad bastard, you've doomed us all.

I refreshed the feed, and I see it.

"Hey guys do u lik fortnite"

It had 30'000 upvotes already, and over a billion comments. They've come. Normies and 9 year olds pour into the app like Mute's jizz into an orphanage, all spamming ancient memes and chanting about fortnite. I swear I even saw someone say "Do u no de wae?".  

Vomit dripping down my chin, I grabbed my external hard-drive of reaction images and jump out the window. Within minutes, had I reached headquarters, I rushed past its great stone walls, slamming the gargantuan oak doors behind me and locking it shut. The rest of the taggers were already there, all on their phones, sweating heavily and typing as fast as they can. Glitch had a seizure from the sheer cancer, and was frothing at the mouth on the floor, twitching.

"Ya boi! Get the fuck on, we've only got so much manpower, and we need as much edgy shit as we can to try and drive them off!" Bear screamed at me, his fingers starting to smoke from the sheer speed they were moving at. I dived cross the room and slammed my hard-drive into the computer to share them to the rest of the taggers. 'I'm sorry Linux does not support this filetype'. God dammit.

The gore-spammer, once an enemy became our greatest ally, sending children off crying and traumatised. We sat there, united under one roof in our darkest hour. That's when we hear a gunshot. Bagel fucking shot herself, where did she even get a gun? I ran to her and grabbed her phone to see what happened. She had a post open. "HEY FELLOW JAKE PAULERS, THESE GUYS POSTING ALL THE BAD STUFF, THEY'RE AT TAGGER HQ, IT'S IN A CASTLE IN THE WELSH WETLANDS, GO GET THEM! ~RICH GUY".

Oh no

We felt it before we heard it, the rumbling of millions of tiny feet running as fast as they can. Then came the noise. The default dance music, at 10 billion decibels, along with a chant of "WE LOVE FORTNITE WE LOVE FORTNITE WE LOVE FORTNITE".

Some of us started to cry, others were taking up Bagel's discarded gun and were fighting over who got to use the remaining bullets on themselves. "TO THE MAIN HALL, GO!" came a deep, slurred voice from by the door. It was Sovet, bracing against the door, to try and hold them off for at least another couple of seconds. Stunned, I saw another figure approach him, and brace itself against the door next to him. Sovet asked in a stunned tone. "Vampyre. Why, you hate me, save yourself dumbass".

"Sovet, we may have our differences, but this is more important than that, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, so lets do this, together." I nod at them as I follow the rest into the main hall of the castle, just before I close the corridor off, I get to see the doors shatter, and the dysfunctional pair drown in a sea of flossing bodies.

In our final moments, we knew we were defeated. Us final few sat there, barely 20 left of the once great army. I looked around, Glugg, sparkie, Hunter, ._., they had all fallen to the hoards of the abominations, great allies, crushed in mere moments. That's when it happened. As they bashed on the door, and it began to splinter, Luna rose from her spot , and walked over to an empty spot in the centre of the room, tears pouring down her face. I knew what she was about to do.

"Luna... No, its not worth it... please don't do I-". She raises her hand to stop me, and spluttered out, her face red and glossy, overrun with sadness, "Y-y-you know, C-communism could w-work".

It happened in an instant. The room was filled with the blinding light of a thousand suns, as Ben Shapiro teleported into the centre of the room, millimetres from Luna's face. Waves of sheer power crash round the room as he opens his mouth to utter the forbidden phrase. "Get rekt Libtard".

Luna is instantly vaporised, her soul banished to an eternity of torture and suffering, the millions of children behind her collapsing to the floor dead, their feeble minds unable to comprehend the language of the gods of which Ben spoke. And then it was over, just as quickly as he had appeared, Ben Shapiro vanished, off to purge the world of more incorrect opinions.

I quietly sobbed for my fallen comrades, when a soft light began to radiate from next to me, and a warm hand appeared on my shoulder.

"What Luna did, she did to save everyone. The highest form of bravery. She deserved better." With a slow lift of his hand, GM gathered Luna's ashes, and carefully molded them back into their original form, resurrecting her. Pulled to his hand, Sovet, Vampyre and the rests lifeless bodies began to gasp back to life, granted one more chance by our true god. "T-Thank you GM" I splutter out through tears of joy, as I held the inconsolable Luna.

"Don't mention it, Boi, don't mention it".

So that's how it happened, all those years ago. Apparently GM re-wrote the timeline so this would not happen, but even he is not sure. If my calculations are correct, this message should appear to you on the 29th of October, 2018. So take this as my warning. If one day the userbase jumps up heavily, and Fortnite becomes a much more common topic, know what is to come.

Enjoy the app, and happy holidays.