Chapter 28

I feel the pressure of his hug all the way down to the pits of my stomach. It does little flips but instead of making me giddy, I feel my body shake with fear. 

I've always been able to get myself out of impossible situations. Spying on terrorists, infiltrating potential rebel bases, meetings with volatile leaders, near death experiences, I've survived them all because I belong to the Trinity, because I was the daughter of two generals. 

But this?

I've never been in a position like this. Never had the people I love come together and work behind my back. Ever since I agreed to marrying Lazarus, my mother has talked of nothing else, I've barely seen my father and Lazarus has morphed into someone I don't recognise.  

Yes, it's true. I did move out and live with Lazarus for a short while before we broke up but right now this situation just feels a lot like they're trying to get me out of their way. 

"Lazarus," I say in a shaky voice, putting my palm against his chest mostly to steady myself. I've started to shake out of fear, the feeling of being trapped looming over me like the shadows around his room. "Why am I here?" 

He must notice my trembling because he loosens his hold and pulls me at arms length to look at me. 

"Luna, what's wrong?" His eyebrows knit together in concern. Under the dim lighting the turquoise in his eyes are washed out, they almost look black. 

'What's wrong?' Can't he see how wrong this is?

"Why am I here?" I repeat in frustration while he holds me against the door. 

"Why not?" He says it obviously like it's the most natural thing. 

I try to push him away. I need some space. I need to get away from him but his grip is vice-like. Either I've grown weaker or he's always held back on his strength. 

"You're my fiancé now. It's best that you stay here," He pulls me against him and strokes my hair tenderly, like a pet. I hear him take in a deep breath, his lips brushing against my hair. 

"Best for whom?" I struggle against him but I might as well be fighting a brick wall. "Lazarus, why am I locked in here? Am I your prisoner now?"

He chuckles softly. "You could never be my prisoner. If anything I've always been yours." 

I scoff loudly and sink against him, giving up on fighting against something so futile. He relaxes when I do this, his heart beats slowing down. 

"Can we talk, please? The door won't be locked forever. I just want to talk without you walking away from me." His voice is so soft, so pleading, it strikes a nerve within me. That's the problem with him, one moment I think he's a possessive asshole, the next he makes me soft with his vulnerability. 

"Okay," I say, giving in. "Let's talk." 

I watch him smile when he releases me. He leans in and plants a soft kiss on my lips, making me shudder. How can something I crave like oxygen also taste like poison? 

We walk to the rows of televisions and sit down with our backs facing the wall of weaponry he keeps stored in his room. I remember teasing him about them last time, Lucian and I used to make fun about how weak his skills must be if he needed so many weapons to feel safe in his own room. 

But it appears Lazarus is stronger than I imagined. Stronger and smarter than anyone of us could have anticipated. 

He pours me a drink but I don't take a sip. Instead I wait for him to speak. 

He drinks almost half of his, his eyes never leaving mine. "You know I appreciate you by my side, right?" 

I nod slowly. "I would hope so." 

"I do. I love that you're mine. I rejoice in that fact every time I look at you." 

"That feels a lot like ownership," I mutter and then I adjust my hair, tying the mess into a ponytail because stray strands have started poking my face.

"It's not that. It's hardly that, love. Yes, I admit. It is nice to know that the most beautiful, intelligent and revered Plutonian belongs to me. But it's not just that, I love you, Luna. I've loved you for as long as I can remember. You are the only person who can make this faulty thing work." He brings up my palm and places it against the skin over his heart. As if on cue, his heart rate quickens against my touch. 

"Lazarus..." I trail off because words can always be twisted but bodily reactions can't. "Why were you so cold towards me today? What did I do wrong?"

He sighs, face etched with disappointment. "We are supposed to be a team, Luna. You are supposed to make me look good, not undermine my efforts." 

His statement genuinely shocks me. I never once thought my questions made him look bad. "Those were genuine doubts." 

"But they made me look bad."

"If I recall, you handled them perfectly well. Most of the commanders are ready to spend their entire fortunes on you." 

"That is true but what you do matters most. You are my fiancé, soon to be my wife. We need to look like a unit, not a couple who tears each other down." 

"All I did was ask some questions, Lazarus. It came from a place of curiosity, not contempt." I shift in place, frowning because he saw me in such a bad light today. 

"It felt a lot like you don't believe in what I'm doing." He takes my hands in his, his thumb brushing over my palms. "Have you even gone through the booklet I gave you?" 

I swallow down my hesitance. Truth be told, I haven't had the time to read it properly. I shake my head, my expression guilty. "Not thoroughly. I only skimmed through."

"Read it, devour it. Do what ever you need to do but when you have these doubts come to me first. Don't undermine me in front of potential investors. I need them, Luna and I need my partner to look like she believes in what I do." I hate that he makes sense. Only now can I see the error of my ways. 

"That's fair. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way," I admit reluctantly. "And what does that have to do with me living here with you?"

"I believe it would be better for us to trust each other if we spent more time with one another." 

Again he makes complete sense, plus it would make it easier for me to snoop around him instead of watching him through the surveillance system at my previous home. Although the irony is not lost on me that my intentions contradict with his completely. 

"I love you, Luna," Lazarus's hands tighten around mine. "I love you so much that it hurts. It scares me that someone could have such an effect on me, on my self esteem and self worth. I know it may seem like I'm a little controlling but it's only because I'm so scared to lose you."

My eyes widen in surprise. He's never been this forthcoming about his feelings before, especially not this candid about the way he can sometimes be quite possessive. 

"I've never received this kind of love from someone I adore before. The way you look at me, the way you hold me, the way you moan into my ears when we make love, it's like a drug to my system. I can't get enough, I don't want it to ever be enough. I want you here, next to me, with me all the time." 

His admission is absurdly sweet, especially since it's coming from someone who rarely ever shows this side. And yet, the way his words are worded and his actions today, all of it feels a lot like strategically placing me in a cage. 

"I love you too," When I say those words I know I mean it. I mean it so much, it hurts. It scary to put so much of myself in someones hands, especially someone so volatile. "All I want is your respect and trust." 

"I want that too. Which is why I think you being here will be good for us." He picks up my hands and kisses my fingers one by one. Each kiss is so gentle, I feel tingles run up my arms. "And I've not taken you away from anyone. Your parents will be here tomorrow to discuss our wedding. I'm so excited, aren't you?"

I gulp softly and then nod. Is this excitement I'm feeling or something else? I can't tell. 

"Alright, you rest up. The bar is yours," He points to the in built bar console next to his wall of weaponry. I don't know why anyone would ever put alcohol next to weapons but apparently it works for Lazarus. "I'll get the cooks to prepare dinner for us. Let's spend the day together, just you and I." 

"Will I still be locked inside here?" I ask him. 

"Only until I get the house ready for you." He says teasingly even though I don't find that statement funny in the least. "Listen, you have your communicator. The doors will be unlocked in a moment. Your not my prisoner, Luna. It's offensive that you think that way to begin with." 

"I wouldn't think that way if the door wasn't locked," I reason. 

He moves toward me, kissing my forehead again. "It's only temporary, love. Believe in me, please." 

I try my best to believe him and with some effort, I finally take a shower and get ready for dinner. I decide to call my parents, wanting to talk to my mother about kicking me out without my permission but then I find that the calls don't go through. 

Lazarus has gone out to check on our dinner, or so he claimed. I head to the door and try to open it, glancing at my communicator only to realise there is no line here. The door doesn't budge and my communicator remains useless. 

All I can do is slide to the floor, wondering when I will be able to leave. 







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