GAVIN.

I'm utterly fucked.

Wanna know how?

It all happened after I kissed a boy. That boy is Carlito. Wanna know what's worse? I enjoyed every fucking second of the kiss. I wasn't grossed out at all. Infact, I didn't wanna stop.

Shit!

That wasn't the plan. I wasn't supposed to feel anything while kissing him. The kiss was intended to calm the panic attack. That was the plan. But look how it turned out? I ended up feeling things that I shouldn't even feel. The kiss awakened something inside me. A thirst that only he can quench.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

I'm not even gay. I'm straight as a ladder. I love eating pussy and I can't stand the sight of another guy's dick. It grosses me the fuck out. Then what is so different about Carlito? Why do I want to be close to him? He is my fucking arch nemesis so why did I even kiss him? I'm so fucking stupid!

Wait a freakin' minute...

Could it be that he cast a spell on me? I believe that sorcerers exist and maybe Carlito is one of them. He must be Morgana's descendant. That's it. I mean, how else would I explain having this strong desire to kiss and touch him?

For crying out loud, I am straight as a needle. That is the only thing that I'm sure of about myself. Then where are all these stupid thoughts and feelings coming from? You know what, I think I'm finally losing it. I'm going Gaga. I need to book an appointment with a well renowened psychiatrist. Only, he can cure this serious mental condition that I'm experiencing at the moment.

No matter how hard I try, I can't get Carlito's image out of my head. The way his petite body fit perfectly in my arms. The way his slim arms curled around my neck as we kissed. And God, the way he moaned when my teeth grazed his neck. It's the best moan I've ever heard. My dick even got hard after hearing him moan.

My dick got hard for a guy.

Only a girl is allowed to make me hard. You know what, I think my body is having all these reactions, because I didn't get laid last night. I need a good fuck to get rid of these stupid thoughts. To get him out of my head once and for all.

Yes. That's what I'll do.

Swiftly, I typed a text to Shirleen Malhotra, my best friend who also happens to my one of my regular hookups and confidante.

Hey, you up for a quickie?

I paced back and forth in the boy's locker room, as I waited for her text.

Anytime. Where are you? Her text was accompanied by several eggplant emojis.

Boys' locker room. How fast can you get here? I texted back.

Give me 5 minutes. She texted back.

Sighing, I plopped on a bench then rested my head against the wall. The room was silent, only the sound of my breath could be heard. A few minutes later, the sound of heels clicking on the tiled floor obliterated the silence. Her expensive perfume attacked my nostrils, causing my nose to itch. I don't know why she insists on using that deodorant. Smells like Ceasar's butt.

"You look like shit." Was her first comment as she placed her Chanel bag on the bench then commenced taking off her 12-inches heels that were adorned with real diamonds.

Just like me, Shirley was from a wealthy family. Her father was the owner of Malhotra jeweleries, one of the biggest jewellery companies in Mumbai and California. Her dad was also my parents' business partner and close friend. It's how Shirl and I met, through our parents' involvement.

"Can we not talk and just fuck?" I suggested, not ready to open up about the events of earlier today.

"You know my style, we talk as we fuck." She was unbuttoning her thigh length cotton skirt. Her red thong came into view as soon as she got rid of the skirt. Seeing her in that red, lacy thong is always a turn on.

She let her thick long noir hair free, making her look even hotter. Kneeling in front of me, she tugged my pants, pulling them down. My dick sprung, free.

"I see you decided to let it hang." She teased after seeing that I didn't have any underwear on.

"Can't have my balls suffocated." I retorted with a smirk.

She chuckled, "Fair point." She squirted some lube in her palm. It was strawberry. Her favourite flavour. I watched as she oiled my dick, making it shine brighter than the diamonds engraved on her heels.

Her hand commenced stroking my length. Up and down, side ways and all the way to by balls. She was an expert at this and I loved her for it. Getting a hand job by her was therapeutic.

"So, what's up with you today?" She interrogated, increasing the pace of her strokes.

"Shirl, can we please not. " I wasn't in the mood to discuss my day with her. All I wanted was to forget the events of today.

"It must be the video that was going around school. The one where you had your tongue so deep in another guy's throat. Hey, I'm not judging. If you have a thing for dicks...it's totally fine with me."

"Shirl, I don't have a thing for dicks. That video was fake." I quickly defended.

"Okay. If you say so. But I think otherwise." Her statement forced my heart to skip a beat. Did she know something?

"How so? " I urged.

"I think you have feelings for the guy. I mean, Carl."

"Wait. Wait. Wait. Where is all this coming from?"

"Gav, we've known each other our whole lives so I know you better than you think. That video might have been fake but your feelings for Carl, aren't." Her statement caused whatever horniness I had, to vanish. My dick was back to sleep mode. Suddenly, I was not in the mood for sex.

"Shirl, what makes you think even for a second that I have feelings for that boy?"

A small sigh left her lips as she took a seat beside me. "I know because I saw you two. In the art room." Her confession caused my eyes to bulge with stupor.

I thought we were the only ones in the room so how did she even see us?

"I know that you're probably thinking of how it's possible that I saw you in the room when it was just the two of you there. Thing is, I was in the sculpting room which is adjacent to the art room. I was working on a design when you love birds walked in. You were too busy in your own world to notice another presence in the adjacent room. That's when I saw and heard everything."

Her revelation left me shaken and speechless.

"Gav, you like this boy. I saw the way you kissed him. " She added, causing my already beating heart to thump louder.

"What you saw, was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened." I spat.

"But it did and you can't change that." She insisted.

"So what do you want me to do huh? Do you want me to shout from the rooftop that I kissed a boy? Is that it?"

"No. I want you to figure this out instead of trying to avoid it. " She advised.

"You know what, texting you was a fucking mistake. " I pulled up my pants.

"I'm just trying to help.."

"Do you see a sign on my forehead that screams, Hey Shirl, I need your help? No. There isn't. Because I don't need your help. I don't need anyone's help." I declared then stormed out of the room, banging the metallic door loud enough to wake a mummy.

For the rest of the day, I managed to attend most of the afternoon classes to distract myself from the thoughts that seemed to creep into my mind. I made it my mission to avoid him. I couldn't even look in his direction. It was better this way.

The 4pm bell sounded, indicating the end of last period and begining of tryouts. I headed to the locker room to change. The locker room was full when I walked in. And as expected most guys were half naked.

"Fag!" I heard a guy cough, while I was passing by. The other guys laughed in return. I recognised him as Tony Bratelli. He was the assistant captain. For years, he has envied my basketball talent and post as the team captain.

"What did you just say, Bra?" I shot a question at him, knowing too well that he loathed being referred to with such a name.

"My name is Bratelli." He barked.

"Bra...Brassier....Bratelli...They all sound the same to me." I stated, triggering laughter among the guys. Including his minions whom he shot a death glare at, causing them to bow their heads in submission.

"You've got balls, Gavin. " He seethed.

"So what? Wanna tickle them?" I fired back.

"Uuuhhh." Came from the guys.

"I'm not a fag so I can't tickle your balls. But you know who is? You. " He spilled.

"Watch your mouth, Bra. " I warned.

"Uuu...I'm scared. He's gonna beat me up. Someone please save me." He mimicked a little girl's voice.

"You sound ridiculous!" I commented.

"Gavin, for a long time you've ruled this school. But soon, that throne will be mine. I promise you." There he goes again, with the same old speech.

"Don't you ever get tired of being a cunt? I mean, you keep talking and talking but you never do anything. You're weak. It's pathetic." My words were stabbing his ego, causing it to bleed.

"You-" He angrily pointed his finger at me.

"Don't you fucking point a finger at me." I gripped his hand, twisting it and causing him to groan in agony, "Or else, I'll shove your finger so far up your ass that you won't shit for a year. Are- we- clear?"

"Y-es. Yes. " He nodded like the weakling he is.

"Good boy." I let go of his hand and patted him on the shoulder then walked to my locker where I picked out my basketball jersey.