GAVIN.

I always wake up at 6 am for a morning jog. Today is no exception.

A yawn gusting from my lips, I shoved the bedspread aside and stepped out of bed. My feet kissed the cold tiled floor as I strolled to the bathroom for a pee. Afterwards, I sauntered to the closet to pick out my jogging clothes and shoes. Grabbing my phone, I left the room. I was navigating the hallway when I came across one of the resort workers. I asked him for directions which he happily shared.

The chilly morning breeze assaulted my face as I jogged on the deserted pathway. The lanky trees danced to the caress of the breeze, shedding leaves which adorned the forest floor. Melodious chirps of birds birthed a beautiful tune that soothed my soul. I loved nature.

Morning jogs were like therapy to me. It's during those jogs that I got to clear my head. At times, I listened to podcasts while jogging. Listening to people share their problems somehow made me feel better about my own shit.

Slipping my ear pod on, I scrolled though my phone for a podcast. Professor Love was on air. A smile made its way to my lips as I listened to her podcast. She was addressing a topic about romance in the bedroom. A steamy topic on such a cold morning. Alright, Prof.

"In this current generation, I feel like romance is lacking in the bedroom. Romance is just not there anymore. I remember watching an insane amount of telenovelas as a teenager and I was like, I want a fucking Alejandro of my own! Coz damn, the telenovela guys knew how to romance their women. The love making itself was magic. I pictured my first time to be exactly the same. But the universe disappointed me so fucking much. I was 17 when I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. And honestly, it was one horrible experience. There was no candle lit dinner, no fucking serenade, no romantic shit. I literally cried after that." Professor Love narrated her ordeal and I couldn't help a sympathetic chuckle that flew past my lips.

The memory of my first time sabotaged my brain. I was 13 years old when I walked in on my mom being fucked by my dad in the kitchen. I didn't know what sex was back then but I became curious after seeing them. I asked Shirley because Roman was just as clueless. Shirl knew a few things and she offered to teach me. I remember the first time she sucked my dick, it felt strange in a really good way. Two days later, we fucked on the couch. That's the moment I realized how much I love eating pussy.

I thought that I was certain about my sexuality. That I was straight as a flag pole. But then I developed feelings for Carlito and that made me question everything. Most important question being, am I bisexual? Maybe I have always been but never admitted it to myself. 

There were times I would secretly check out guys in the locker room after tryouts. I wasn't grossed out by any of it. One time, Tony Bratelli caught me staring at his naked butt and my 15 year old self fucking blushed. He flirted a little and invited me to a party at his place. 

Back then, we weren't rivals. During the party, we drank way too much and ended up making out. Then the next day in school, when he tried to talk to me, I ignored him. I was ashamed and scared of people finding out about us. So I chose to behave indifferently towards him. I chose to forget that night.

"Romance should come from the heart." Professor Love's voice blared through the ear pod, ferrying me from the sea of memories. I resumed listening to her podcast as I jogged along the deserted footpath. Sweat soaked my face, flowing to my chest and back. Heavy pants vamoosed my parted mouth.

Fatigue coursing through me, I decided to take a rest. Leaning against a tree, I drew in as much air as my lungs could accommodate. I felt some movements behind me. Swiftly, I turned to look and you wouldn't believe what the cat dragged in so early in the morning. Was he following me? Wait, why is he bare chested? Isn't he feeling cold or something?

"Was beginning to think that I would never catch up with you." He said, strolling towards me.

"And I was beginning to think that you are stalking me." A pant gushed past my lips.

He halted, a few inches from me.

"Didn't know that you jogged too." I added, surveying his sweaty torso.

"I do from time to time. It is how I am able to retain this sexiness." Tony bragged, a confident smile kissing his lips. Did I want to punch that smile off his face? Abso-fucking-lutely.

"You should sign up for America's next top model. I'm sure you'll win." I mocked.

"Aww...that's sweet of you." He was standing awfully close. I could literally smell his sweat. Smelled like bull's piss.

"You smell awful. I think I'm gonna throw up." I gagged.

"Gavin. You never cease to amaze me." He laughed. As if I just cracked a joke. Which I didn't.

"Oh, please tell me how I never cease to amaze you Tony." I don't understand why I am even tolerating this conversation right now. He is a waste of my time and words so I should totally leave.

"I mean, you say all these mean shit to hurt me but you don't mean any of it." He whispered, his gaze interlocked with mine. His irises were black as night. Reminded me of the darkling in Shadow and Bone. Did I just describe this motherfucker's eyes? What the fuck?

"And how would you know that? It's not like you are in my head." I felt irritated for some reason.

"Come on, we both know what went down that night. It was more than just a kiss we shared. And yet you chose to forget all of it. Blamed it on the alcohol but that's bullshit." Emotions spewed from his words as he addressed me. I did not like the direction this conversation was heading.

"That was a mistake, Tony. It should have never happened." Was my reply and I meant every single word.

"Maybe for you it was but for me, it wasn't." His confession left me speechless. I couldn't help but wonder if he had hit his head on a rock and lost some of his brain cells. We have tormented each other for years then how is it possible that he has feelings for me? 

You know what, I think I died and went to hell and right now I am stuck in some weird loophole. Lucifer sir, if this is your idea of torture then please stop. I can't take this shit anymore. Just burn me in the eternal flames already.

"Remember when I caught you staring at my butt back then? Your face went all red. You were so cute. It was then that I realized my feelings for you. God you have no idea how much I have craved you ever since that night..." He confessed, cupping my face in his palms. I shuddered like a chicken that's been rained on. I should have been grossed out. Should have pushed him off. But I didn't. Instead, I stood there...breathing like a lunatic. Listening to him profess his feelings.

"You make me so hard, Gavin." His sultry words caressed my ears. This was all shades of wrong but why the fuck was I enjoying it? I'm out of my fucking mind, that's what.

"This... can't happen." I managed a protest.

"Why? Is it because you are dating Carl? Yes I know about you guys. Saw you making out in the bus last night."

Fuck! He knows about Carlito and me? Has he told anyone?

"Don't worry, nobody else saw. They were too wasted to notice you guys." He assured, his index brushing a stray strand of hair from my forehead. Why was I even entertaining this?

"It's a good thing that you know Carl and I are a thing. It means you and I could never, ever be more." A statement exited my dry throat.

"For now, maybe. But soon, you'll be mine. I can't wait for the day that you'll come willingly to me. The day that you'll beg me to kiss you and fuck your brains out. Gavin, I have fantasized of the ways I could make you scream my name." He whispered, his already black eyes darkening with each word. My heart for some reason, started beating loudly. And my sweats became tight because my stupid dick had gotten hard. Talk about your body betraying you.

"That will never happen. So by all means keep fantasizing." Shakily, the words departed my mouth.

"Your body is saying something entirely different, Gavin." A smirk danced on his lips at the statement.

I was about to say something when my phone started ringing.

"I'll leave you to take that. It was a pleasure talking to you. See you around." He winked then jogged away, leaving me a complete mess. After taking several calming breaths, I fished the phone from my hoodie pocket. The caller ID revealed that it was Carlito calling.

Shit.

"Hey you." I greeted after receiving the call.

"Hi. How was your night?" His beautiful voice warmed its way into my thumping heart.

"It was okay. Slept like a baby." I replied, taking a walk in the woods. The sun was rising, bathing the horizon with its cantaloupe glory. I loved watching sunsets.

"I'm glad to hear that. I was worried that you didn't get enough rest because of the work thing." Carlito's concern for me warmed my heart. He was too good for me. I didn't deserve him.

"How was your night?" I inquired.

"It was okay until Tony started talking in his sleep. I swear he annoys the shit out of me. Can you imagine last night he kept insisting that he can't sleep with lights off? Then we had to fight for the bed covers like a couple of idiots. Gosh, he is exhausting."

Tony has fear for the dark. Found out about it years ago and I recall locking him up in the dark janitor's closet for an hour as payback for annoying me. I have always known him to be annoying and exhausting but never imagined that he had feelings for me. That he wanted me sexually. What part of I hate the guy doesn't the universe understand? I shouldn't even be thinking of him because he is an idiot. He is a moron for thinking that his words got to me. Still hate him. Always and forever.

"I'm glad when I woke up, he wasn't here. Peace at last." Carl added.

"Yeah." Is all I said, the encounter from earlier playing in my head.

The phone conversation lasted 10 more minutes before he hang up. I watched the sunrise, enjoying the warmth as the orange rays kissed my face. I took a photo of the sunrise then uploaded the image on my Instagram.

'Dawn of a new day full of possibilities.' Was my caption.