CARL.

A miracle is something that happens through divine intervention. Like in the bible, when Jesus turned water into wine. Or when Lazarus rose from the dead. Point is, miracles have only existed in the bible. At least that's what I thought until a miracle happened to me. The miracle of changing erotic texts into biblical verses. How it happened, I have no idea.

"You seem lost. Is everything okay?" My mom's question drew me from the well of thoughts I was drowning in.

"Yes. Everything is fine." I replied.

"Good. Have you spoken to Melissa of late?" Not this topic again.

"Yes. She texted me yesterday." A reply absconded my lips.

"I'm guessing it's about the date." She gawped at me.

"Correct." I answered.

"And when did you decide to go on a date with her?" God, this was exhausting. She was exhausting.

"Mom, I don't want to go on a date with her. I don't like her, like that. And I don't think it's fair to lead her on." I shared my thoughts on the subject.

"You will like her with time. Because Melissa is a good girl. She is kind, smart, funny and God fearing. She is good for you, my dear."

Parents always know what's good for us. They guide us down the right path. It's their sacred duty to make us better people. I respect that, about them. But what I despise is when parents start assuming that they know what's best for us. When they control and trap us with their philosophies that compel us suppress our true selves.

"Melissa will make a fine girlfriend, Carl. She is the girl I want for you." She kept pushing, not caring for my opinion. And I just sat there, listening to her without fighting back.

"So, you will go out with her this weekend and you will ask her to be your girlfriend." She made the decision, for me. Like she always does. I couldn't bring myself to say no because I was afraid of her reaction. Scared that she would dig deeper and find out my darkest secret. I was a coward.

"Carl, you will thank me someday for choosing Melissa for you. I am certain that she will make you happy. You know, your father and I met in a church event. I was only 25 and he was a 26 year old youth pastor back then. I believe that God chose him for me, the same way he has chosen Melissa for you."

My chest was tightening, oxygen draining from my lungs as dizziness took over me. Her words were like sharp blades, cutting off the supply of air from my lungs. Felt like I was suffocating. Drowning in a bottomless ocean. My pharynx was constricting, compelling my mouth to open wide in an attempt to draw in as much air as possible. I was fighting to keep afloat. Even though I knew that I would eventually give up and let her words drown me.

With shaky hands, I slid open the bus window and let in the cold night air fill up my lungs. I blinked, allowing the tears that had gathered in my eyes, to cascade freely. A quiet sob departed my lips as I stared into the darkness through the window. It brought me comfort because for most of my life, I have thrived in the shadows. Hiding safely in the darkness of my closet. Petrified of stepping out into the light. Because the light would burn me, along with my secrets.

Darkness has always been my friend. It doesn't judge me. It embraces me and snuffs out the hope that someday I would be free. Hope is a dangerous thing for someone like me. Because it makes me believe in things that I can never have. It makes me want to expose my secrets to the whole world. Secrets that will cost me everything.

"Carl, close the window. You'll catch a cold." She proposed, ferrying me from the ocean of thoughts I was submerged in.

"It's actually hot in here. Also, I think someone farted. Smells like shit in here. Carlito, please open the window wider." Gavin spoke up. I was caught up in my own shit that I completely forgot about him.

"Gavin is right, this place smells like shit. Open the windows everyone!" Shirley yelled and just like that, the windows were opened, letting in an endless supply of air.

"Also, this trip is so boring. I think some music would do." Gavin announced, drawing cheers from most of the students.

"I have a whole playlist of praise and worship songs!" Maria, suggested excitedly. A series of boos were sent her way.

"Thank you Maria but I don't think we need that tonight." Gavin declared. "We need some electro music or pop songs. Something to keep us active, on the road."

"I happen to have what you are looking for." A boy stated.

"Nobody is playing demonic music in this bus." My mom who had been quiet the entire time finally spoke up. Her decision triggered annoyed groans. "You are children of God which means, no demonic songs." She decreed, leaving her seat.

"Okay principal Lucia. You are right. I am sorry for trying to turn the children of God into demons." Gavin who had also gotten up from his seat, addressed my mom. While they were talking, Shirley grabbed my mom's water bottle. A mischievous smile caressed her lips as she opened the cap, slipped some powder in the water. She shook the bottle, ensuring the powder was well mixed in the water then returned the bottle in its place. Okay, what did I just witness?

"By the way principal Lucia, you have a really nice skin. What's your secret?" Gavin started small talk.

"Water. I drink plenty of water." She replied proudly.

"Good to know. I'm gonna resume my seat now." He concluded, walking back to his seat. I didn't miss a smirk that danced on his lips. Gavin was up to something. Whatever it was, I was definitely interested to be a part of.

I watched as my mom gulped down the water after resuming her seat. I didn't try to warn or stop her. Was I a bad son for not feeling guilty that something bad could happen to her after consuming the water? Maybe I was.

Minutes after drinking the water, she dozed off. Her mouth wide open as she snored like a motorboat. Gavin and Shirley walked up to her sleeping form, to make sure she was indeed passed out. "Principal Lucia, can you hear me?" Gavin called out and when she didn't reply a victorious smile clouded his face.

"Looks like the principal is dead asleep!" Shirley announced, causing excited murmurs to fill the bus. "This can only mean one thing..."

"PARTY!" Someone yelled.

"That's right, Pablo!" Shirley stated, fueling more excitement among the teenagers.

"What of Mrs. Hanna? She's gonna get pissed." A girl declared.

"Don't worry about Mrs. Hanna. She's too busy flirting with the driver to know what's going on back here." Gavin announced.

"Now, let's not waste any more time. Let's party like there's no tomorrow." Shirley decreed and instantly, loud pop music started playing in the bus. Excited teenagers danced to the music, shaking their body parts to the catchy beats. Others were making out and smoking pot. Roman was supplying beer cans to the interested parties. Only Gavin was capable of this madness.

I sat there, watching and praying that my mom doesn't wake up soon or there will be hell to pay.

"Relax, she'll be asleep for at least three hours. The sleeping pills will make sure of that." As though he had read my mind, Gavin assured. Then he scooped my sleeping mom, carrying her in his arms.

"Where are you taking her?" Not that I give a fuck. He could throw her out the window for all I care.

"To the back seat. She'll be more comfortable there." He replied, taking her away. He returned moments later, plopping on the seat that was previously occupied by my mom.

"I should have known that this was your plan." I stated, watching him light a roll of weed.

"You know me so well, Carlito." A small smile covered his lips. He took a drag of the weed, leaning back in the seat and succumbing to the effects of the marijuana. White billow of smoke exited his nostrils seconds later. It must be thrilling, being able to exude smoke through the nose.

"Here." He passed the weed to me after a few more whiffs.

I looked at it, debating on whether or not to take it. "Carl, smoking and drinking is bad." My mom's warning replayed in my head. Reminding me of the obvious. Her voice has always stopped me from doing certain things. Even tonight when I need to let loose, her words are hovering over me. You know what, fuck it!

I received the weed from him and took a drag. The smoke instantly singed my throat instigating a cough. Gavin chuckled, at my actions. "The first time is always like that." He stated, taking the weed from me.

"How do you make smoking weed, so fun?" I inquired, coughing up the last bits of smoke.

"Experience." He replied.

"Teach me." I uttered.

"You sure?" Curiosity laced his voice.

"Yes." I nodded.

He pat his lap, "Sit." His proposition made my face to burn with a blush. I looked around the bus to make sure that nobody was watching. Sure enough, everyone was either making out or dancing or drinking. Getting up from the seat, I shyly sat at the edge of his lap. My fingers were suddenly the most interesting thing because I couldn't stop toying with them.

"Carlito." My name rolled off his tongue. "Look at me." He demanded.

Coyly, I tore my eyes from my hands. He hooked his finger on my chin, turning my head to his direction. I can never get used to the feeling of staring into his eyes. The way he always manages to hypnotize me with those breathtaking emerald eyes.

"Straddle me." He commanded and I complied. My heart was bouncing in excitement. The thrill of anticipating to know what was going to happen next.

Suddenly, his left hand encircled my waist, drawing me closer. A small gasp withdrew from my lips at his action. He run his thumb, slowly along my lips, his touch awakening every cell and nerve ending in my body. Driving my body straight to the city of arousal. "Open your mouth for me, Carlito." His deep, rough voice vibrated, sending chills to my dick which hardened in response.

I watched as he smoked the weed, then leaned in. The tip of his nose scraped mine, eliciting a needy gasp from my voice box. Our lips touched as he released the smoke into my parted mouth. The smoke filled my mouth, cascading my throat and into my lungs. It neither burned nor choked me.

"And that's how it's done." He whispered against my lips, grazing them with his. The desire to claim his lips, overwhelmed my mind. The thirst, overpowering my senses. He was my nectar and like a bee, I craved a taste.

Right now I'm shameless, screaming my lungs out for you,

Not afraid to face it,

I need you more than I want to, need you more than I want to.

Camilla Cabello's 'Shameless' playing in the background, I captured his lips. Starting off with a slow kiss then deepening and roughening it. Tugging at the back of his head, I kissed him. Relishing every single second of it. Not wanting to break apart. I like the way he moaned in my mouth when I sucked on his bottom lip and bit on it. I love the way I ground myself on him, his growing erection colliding with mine.

I was high on him.

"STOP THE MUSIC!" A yell which I recognized as Mrs. Hanna's overpowered the music. Swiftly, I broke the kiss and slid off Gavin's lap. "I SAID STOP THE MUSIC!"

The music was stopped as a bunch of teenagers scrambled to hide their drinks and weed. I scrambled to retrieve my composure. Making sure that nobody would suspect what just transpired between Gavin and me.

"Why'd you stop?" Gavin pouted, reaching out for my hand. Judging by his droopy eyes, I could tell that the weed was already kicking in. "Come back and straddle me. I want you to kiss me." He pleaded, giving me puppy eyes. Didn't imagine a day would come when I would witness this kind of cuteness.

"Not now, later." I whispered, smiling at his cute expressions.

"You pinky promise." He held out his pinky finger.

"Yes, I pinky promise." I hooked my pinky finger on his.

"Okie." He released a smile which brought life to my heart. 

"WHOEVER STARTED THIS MESS WILL GET A DETENTION!" Mrs. Hanna who was more than pissed, announced, earning drunken giggles from some of the students.

A yawn slithered past his lips as he rested his head on my shoulder. "I am sleepy. Can you sing me a lullaby?" If my heart wasn't already melted because of Gavin's cuteness, I believe my heart had turned to mush.

"I will." Then, I sang him a lullaby. The same one that mom used to sing me when I was a kid.

"You have a sweet voice." He stated, sleep taking over his voice. Minutes later, he fell into slumber, snoring softly. "So cold." He mumbled in his sleep. I drew the window shut, then took out a fleecy shawl from my mom's duffel bag and covered him with it. I watched him sleep, a smile crowning my lips when he scratched his nose.

Tearing my gaze into the night, I could see some light in the horizon. The full moon peered from the clouds, snuffing out the darkness and bringing life into the night. For the first time in a long time, I felt light seep into the darkness that was my life. For the first time, I felt hopeful that everything was going to be fine.