CARL.

The furry tip of the paint brush slid across the white smooth surface in response to the motions of my hand. Latino pop music blared through my earphones as I did the painting. I loved listening to music when painting because it was my source of inspiration and it calmed my mind.

My slim fingers guided the paint brush along the canvas, giving birth to an image. I had decided to paint a random portrait and was quite curious to see how it would turn out.

A pat brushed my right shoulder. An annoyed sigh escaped my lips at the intrusion. Placing the brush on the table, I took off my earphones.

"Don't kill me just yet." A voice which I recognized as Lorenzo's declared. He plopped on a stool next to mine.

A small smile made its way to my lips. Suddenly the annoyance I was feeling before, melted like ice in the sun.

"Nice painting you have going on there." A compliment skated past his lips.

"Thank you." My lips stretched into a smile.

Silence blanketed the place like a puff of clouds on a rainy day. His gaze held mine captive, undressing my soul. "Lito, are you okay?" He finally butchered the reticence that had thickened between us.

"Yes I am fine. Why are you asking?" A raspy reply gusted from my lips.

"I noticed that you've skipped multiple classes today. Pretty sure everyone else noticed too." He stated.

Yes, I skipped most of my classes today. And for that my mom is going to decapitate me. In my defense, I needed space to clear my head. After everything that happened between me and he-who-is-not-to-be-mentioned.

"Was working out some stuff." I replied, reaching for the paint brush on the table.

"Does this stuff have to do with a certain tall, muscular, sexy douche bag?" His question caused my heart to skip a beat.

"I have no idea who you are talking about." I divulged, focusing on my painting activities.

"Pretty sure you know exactly who I am referring to." He added. "I saw you guys come out of the janitor's closet this morning. Judging by your flushed face, I could tell that something happened in there. So, am I wrong?"

Shit. He knows about he-who-is-not-to-be-mentioned and me. If he knows then how many other people do? More importantly what does he think of me?

"What you saw was nothing." I managed an answer. The pace of my heartbeats picked up, the intensity threatening to rip my ribcage apart.

"I know that I have no business prying into your personal life. But I thought that maybe because we are friends...we can talk about stuff."

He is right. We are friends. But am I really ready to let him in? To spill my deepest secrets to him? What if he uses them against me someday? Lorenzo has been so nice to me. But I don't know if telling him everything is the best idea.

"Lorenzo, thank you so much for checking up on me. As you have seen, I am perfectly fine." I declared, going back to my painting.

A sigh exited his lips, "Just want you to know that you are not alone." He glanced at the painting I was working on.

"Thank you." I said.

"By the way that's a really accurate portrait of Gavin you've painted." His comment compelled my eyes to bulge with shock, threatening to pop out of my sockets. On the sketch board sat a painting of him. In his sexy glory. Smirking even. I fucking painted him with a smirk!

This was not the plan. The idea was to paint a random thing. Just anything but no, it had to be him. Every time that I think I have finally succeeded in forgetting him, the opposite happens. I personally ended things with him. Stayed away from him most of the day. And now look, here I am staring at a portrait of him that I just fucking painted.

"He is a fortunate guy, having someone care deeply for him." Lorenzo's statement disunited my chain of thoughts.

"I don't care about him. This was a mistake. I intended to paint something else." I blabbered adding a moustache to the portrait. "See, he looks nothing like him." I added with a victorious smile.

"Yeah that looks like the older version of him." Lorenzo indicated, smilingly.

"What if, I add spectacles? Like this." I swiftly painted a pair of spectacles on his face.

"Now it looks like the nerdish, older version of him." Lorenzo confirmed.

"Fuck. I give up." A pout settled on my lips.

"Lito, you have feelings for him." He started.

I shrugged, "I don't have feelings for the guy. He and I are enemies. The worst kind."

"Then you won't be mad if I told you what I saw at the boy's locker room earlier."

My full attention was on him. "What did you see at the boy's locker room?"

"Nothing important. Just a couple of people in a heated make out sesh. Gavin was one of those people and the girl was some ginger head if I recall correctly." He let out a revelation.

What the actual fuck? I'm going to kill him. I swear on my dead abuelo. It's barely 24 hours since our little separation and he is already shoving his tongue down some bitch's throat. Just this morning, he had shoved me in the janitor's closet and did some sexy stuff to me. I admit, I got turned on...kinda. It was amazing having him close to me. But then the janitor's intrusion reminded me why being around him is a terrible idea. He is and always will be a straight fuck boy. It's why I had to end things with him. I did what was right.

But why does it sting knowing that he is moving on? Why does rage consume me, picturing his lips on someone else's?

A sudden snap of wood tore me from my angry thoughts. Turns out I had broken my paint brush in half. Unknowingly. Fucking great.

"What has the poor paint brush done to deserve your wrath?" He teased. "Are you perhaps angry with the news?"

"No. I am not angry. Why would I be angry?" I ranted, my chest rising and falling rapidly. Pretty sure a series of veins had popped on my temples. "I am totally fine. He can kiss whoever he wants. I don't give a rat's ass." I added. A mental image of Gavin making out with a random ginger, flooded my brain, elevating my anger and jealousy levels. If jealousy was a color, my face would be green as the Grinch's right now.

"Yet you look like you are about to kill someone." He poked.

"Know what, I just might murder someone today. I wouldn't mind stabbing his ass with this broken paint brush until it bleeds." My statement triggered laughter from Lorenzo. He was enjoying this.

"I am wondering though, why would you want to kill him after finding out about the make out session? Unless I am right, that you have feelings for him." He had cornered me. There was no point in denying it any longer.

"Fine. I have feelings for him. Happy?" I confessed.

"Yes, I am happy that you have not only admitted to me but to yourself as well."

"These feelings are pointless because we can never be happy together." I opened up.

"Says who?"

"My mom who is very homophobic by the way, there are also other factors involved too. Honestly, I am scared Lorenzo. I obviously like Gavin so much but I know that we can never work. We are a fantasy that will never become a reality." A confession glided from my lips. A weight that had resided on my shoulders was finally eliminated.

There was a brief moment of silence before he finally said, "I understand how you feel."

"Really?" Curiosity laced my question.

"Yes Lito, I do. I was in your place once. Scared to come out of the closet. Terrified of going after the straight boy I liked." He paused, examining my features. "Yes I am gay. Out and proud." He added.

Tears suddenly brimmed in my eyes, blinding me.

"Hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying? Did I say something offensive?"

"No. You said what I have been dying to hear for a long time from someone... other than me. Because for a really long time I have felt alone. Like a freak. For being different." Tears streamed from my eyes as the words spilled from my trembling lips. "I'm sorry this is embarrassing. I am embarrassing." I sniffled, trying to control the tears.

"Hey, hey. You are the farthest thing from embarrassing and you're definitely not a freak." He reached out for my hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. "You are perfect just the way you are."

A smile and laugh escaped past my sobbing lips. Emotions were overflowing from me. Happiness being the key emotion. Oh, also slimy mucus was slithering from my nostrils like a slug on grass. Where is a fucking handkerchief when I need one?

"Here." He handed me a neatly folded handkerchief. Okay, is this guy a telepath?

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. By the way, you look scary when you cry."

A gasp erupted from my throat at his statement. "How dare you!"

"Dramatic much?" His question took me back to two days ago, in Gavin's car. He had asked me to get in his car but my adamant self didn't want to. Then he carried my drenched self, bridal style and tossed me in the passenger seat. I confronted him sorta and he told me to stop being dramatic.

I miss that giant. My giant. And honestly it's torture being away from him. A part of me knows that the right thing to do is be with him but the most sensible part of me knows that staying away is the wisest decision.

"Can I ask you something?" I inquired with a nervous smile.

"Go on."

"What should I do about the Gavin situation?"

"You like him?"

"Obviously." I replied with an eye roll.

"Then fight for him. No matter the cost. It's scary I know. But what's even scarier is entombing your feelings for him and hoping that someday they'll vanish. Trust me, those feelings will only crush you in the end." He advised.

"What about my mom?"

"This world will always have homophobes. We have no control over that. When you are ready, tell her. She'll be pissed and disappointed but eventually she must come to terms with it. Coz you are her perfectly normal gay son and nothing is going to change that." Was his reply.

"You are right. I am not scared anymore. I'll come out to her soon. Just have to set a date and place." A smile made its way to my lips.

"If you need me when the time comes, I'll be there." He assured.

"Thank you, again." A grateful smile danced on my lips.

"It's okay. What are friends for?" He released a magnetic smile which captured my heart.