XLI. Driven crazy with longing.

⚠️Mentioning of slight smuttish talk⚠️

Much to Maude's dismay, everyone in the family had decided they would stay at Arrow house with her until Tommy returned again. There was no use in arguing as everyone's minds were made up, and a part of her appreciated the sentiment.

She was sat in the living room with Daniel, Charlie sleeping next to her with his head on her lap, his tiny hand clutching onto her skirt. Ada and Finn were off to bed and Polly was wandering around, and the rest of the men were all outside, shooting pheasants in the field.

"We killed Angel Changretta," Daniel informed her as he got up from the couch, making his way over to the liquor cabinet inside the room, pouring himself and his sister a glass of whiskey. "Slit his throat in his hospital bed." He muttered before returning to the couch, handing her a whiskey before sitting down again. "Tommy wants us to kill the old man and his wife."

"Mrs. Changretta?" Maude repeated as she looked at her brother with furrowed eyebrows, and he nodded his head in response. "She had nothing to do with this." She muttered as she shook her head, knowing the old woman was innocent of what her son and husband had done.

"John and Arthur don't agree with killing her." He informed his sister as he drink his whiskey, finishing the glass and putting it down on the coffee table.

"She's a good woman." Maude insisted as her gaze turned down to her sleeping son, running a hand through his dark hair. "She doesn't deserve the fate Tommy wants to give her." She insisted as she shook her head.

Daniel stared at his sister, surprised she did not agree with Tommy, because most days the couples were always on the same side of everything. He was silent for a second. "Mr. Changretta does." He insisted as his top lip pulled into a snarl, his jaw clenching. "The old fucker deserves the fate Tommy will give him." He spat.

Before Maude could reply, the back door slamming open caught her attention. Michael stormed into the house, rushing past them with a pissed-off expression on his face. A few seconds later, Polly walked into the house with a huff, grumbling something under her breath.

"Right, what's going on?" Maude asked as she looked over at Polly with furrowed eyebrows, her head tilting to the side and a comforting hand resting on Charlie's back as he began to stir in response to the loud noise.

"Those lot were having a piss fight out there." Polly huffed again as she looked over her shoulder at the door she entered, and Maude figured the woman was talking about Arthur and John picking on Michael about the meetings earlier.

"They're still on that?" Maude asked as she raised her eyebrows and Polly nodded her head before walking off to find her son. "Bloody hell...it's going to be a long three days." Maude sighed as she threw her head back against the couch.

The following morning Maude and Polly were up early, before everyone else, and the two went to the dining room to have breakfast. "How are you feeling?" Polly asked as she glanced at the girl, holding a warm tea cup up to her lips as she eyed Maude over the rim of it.

"I'm feeling alright, Pol," Maude assured with a nod of her head as took a few bites of her toast, thankful she had escaped the horrid food of the hospital. No matter how expensive the place was, the food was not up to standard quality.

Polly looked around at the vases of flowers that stood on the other end of the table, a good few of them still left behind. "Christ, how do you breath with all these flowers in here?" She asked as her eyebrows furrowed.

"Those are only the ones we didn't get a place for," Maude explained as she looked over at the flowers, a sigh slipping from her lips. "I don't know what to do with them, or the dozens of baked goods still in the kitchen." She muttered with a shrug of her shoulders as she took a few more bites of her toast.

"I'll have Daniel take the flowers to the graveyard, to put on the empty graves, all baked goods you don't want, we'll donate to children's homes," Polly informed her as she sipped on her tea.

"I'll take care of it, Pol." Maude insisted as she shook her head. "I need to get back onto my feet sooner or later." She muttered as she stared down at her plate of food with pursed lips. She wanted so badly to be allowed to get to work again, hating being able to only sit and do nothing for weeks now.

"And it will be later until you are properly healed, not a second before that," Polly informed her as she sat her teacup down, looking at Maude with a firmly pointed look. "Do I make myself clear?" She asked as she quirked an eyebrow.

"Very," Maude replied softly as she nodded her head. They were silent for a while as Maude ate her food and Polly drank her tea. "What happened between those lot outside last night?" Maude asked as she served herself a plate of scrambled eggs, looking at Polly with raised eyebrows.

"Arthur and John were teaching Michael to shoot," Polly explained as a deep sigh slipped from her lips. "Sounds like they were taunting him because of the meeting with Tommy."She added as she pursed her lips.

"How is it that they can all still act so much like children?" Maude asked as she shook her head, eyebrows furrowing as her gaze turned to Polly.

"Because they're men," Polly replied before shrugging her shoulders. "Or boys." She corrected herself and Maude scoffed in amusement as she nodded in agreement. "I need a drink." She insisted as he got up to her feet, putting aside her empty tea cup.

"I need one as well," Maude replied as she looked up at Polly, pursing her lips. "Without water this time." She suggested as she raised her eyebrows.

Polly silently stared at Maude before grabbing onto the back of the chair she had just sat in. "Your stitches still in?" She asked as she quirked an eyebrow at Maude.

Maude silently stared at her for a second before sighing."Yes..."She muttered as she slowly nodded her head.

"You still on medication?" Polly asked her.

"Yes..."Maude replied again.

"Then you'll have it with water," Polly informed her and Maude sighed again as the older woman walked off to grab them both a whiskey.

As Tommy had promised to his wife, he returned home three days later, arriving hours after Maude had managed to get the whole family out of her house again. She was in her bedroom, sitting crossed-legged on the bed as she scribbled a few things down in her notebook, things she needed done when she returned back to work after her stitches come out.

The door to the bedroom creaked open and Maude looked up as her husband stepped inside. "Tommy, you're home." She called out as a smile graced her face as she got off the bed, meeting Tommy hallway, his arms immediately wrapping around her and pulling her against his chest. "I've missed you." She whispered as she laid her head on his chest.

"I've missed you too sweetheart," Tommy replied as he placed a kiss on the top of her head before resting his head on top of hers. "So fucking much." He insisted before lifting his head and looking down at her. "How are you feeling?" He asked as his hands moved to cup her cheek, tilting her head up.

"Alright." She assured as she nodded her head, milling as she looked up at him. "Everyone's been taking such good care of me." She insisted before pressing her hands to his chest. "But I've been driven crazy with longing for my husband."

"Don't worry sweetheart, I'm back now." He assured her as his thumb gently brushed over her soft skin. "And I won't leave your side again while you recover." He insisted as he shook his head.

Maude was silent as she looked up at him, resting one of her hands on top of his. After a second she sighed before speaking up. "Did you get your answer?" She asked softly as she raised her eyebrows.

Tommy lowered his gaze, but not before Maude could see the quilt and hurt flash across his eyes. "It was cursed, Maude." He whispered, his voice strained as a lump formed in the back of his throat.

"Then it doesn't matter, nothing any of us could've done." She reasoned as she moved her arms around his shoulders, pulling him into her arms as he screw his eyes shut to stop his tears. "You didn't know my love, you didn't know." She assured him softly.

She comforted her husband for a short while before the phone rang and Tommy left to answer it. She waited for him in the bedroom and he returned soon after leaving. He entered the room slowly as he stared at her. "John and Arthur caught Mr. Changretta."He informed her. "I'm going to the warehouse now to see them."

She stared back at him, silent for a second. "Will you kill him?" She asked softly as her head tilted to the side, already knowing the answer but needing it confirmed.

"Yes," Tommy replied without hesitation as he nodded his head.

Ever since her accident, knowing she could have died, Maude had been filled with anger and rage. She was so close to being taken from her loved ones just because one man decided so. Her son had nearly lost his mother, and her husband his wife, because of something she had no real involvement in. Her heart was unsettled knowing Vincent Changretta was still alive. And she needed to see his death, to appease her heart that he was truly gone, and would never try to hurt her again.

"I want to come with you." She informed Tommy, rubbing her hands onto her thighs before getting up onto her feet, giving him a pleading look.

Tommy let out a grunt as he shook his head at her. "No. No, sweetheart." He immediately refused.

"You did what you had to, to settle your heart, now let me settle mine."She pleaded with him as she pressed her hands against his chest, her eyes silently begging him, and with a heavy sigh, Tommy reluctantly gave in.

John and Arthur were hesitant when they saw Maude arriving with Tommy. To them, it felt wrong allowing her in the same room as the man who ordered her death but Maude was determined on staying and neither of the men could say anything to change her mind.

Vincent Changretta sat tied to a chair, in nothing but his underpants. His eyes were tightly shut and he muttered a prayer in Italian. Tommy stared at the man as he shrugged off his coat and placed it over the back of the chair in front of the old man. He sat down on the chair, gloved hands resting on his thighs. "Do you know what time it is, old man?" He questioned. "I'll tell you," he said before pulling out his pocket watch and checking the time. "It's after seven in the evening, and I'm going to keep you alive until it gets light."

Maude took a deep breath as she watched her husband and the old man. Vincent Changretta's eyes were still shut and he still muttered soft prayers. She glanced over at Arthur, wrapping her arms around herself as she stood a little closer to him for comfort, and he gave her an assuring nod.

Tommy dragged his chair closer to the old man and leaned in. "I'll not deliver the final cut until we can both hear the blackbirds singing outside." He muttered and Maude's inhaled sharply at the mention of the birds, a knowing look on her face as she stared at her husband. Tommy grabbed the back of the old man's head and yanked him closer. "It's a beautiful sound, one my wife loves. She almost never heard it again because of you." He spat in the old man's ear and Maude pursed her lips as her gaze diverted to the ground.

Her gaze returned to Tommy as he stood up and held his hand out to John, wanting the briefcase with torture devices inside. "Tommy." She called out as she stepped forward and he gave her a hesitant look, knowing what she wanted. Reluctantly he stepped back and Maude sat in front of the old man, who hesitantly opened his eyes to look at her. "I'm here today because I want my face to be the last thing you see. I want you to see me and die knowing you failed. You have failed trying to kill a woman who has been innocent of the wrongdoings against your son." She spat at him, her face blank. "I didn't order the burning of his business. I didn't order to have him beat and cut. I only held a meeting because my husband was busy. Yet you still decided I had to pay." She muttered as she slowly shook her head at him. "You wanted me shot to get back at my husband, his brothers, and my own brothers. But did you honestly think it would only be them affected by my death?" She questioned as she raised her eyebrows, "When you gave the order, did you for a second think about my two-year-old son? Did you think how it would affect him?" She asked and the man closed his eyes again as he let out a soft whimper. "He had to grow up without a mother because your son had his ass beat?" She questioned as she let out a dry scoff of amusement. "And it's not only my child. The bullet meant to kill me, hit my sister-in-law as well. She has two children. One is nearly three and the other is only seven months old. When you gave the orders, did you think of them?" She asked. "And now your own son is dead." She muttered and the man let out a soft cry. "I hope the actions you have taken to get yourself here, have been worth it, Mr. Changretta."

With a deep breath, Maude got up to her feet and returned to Arthur's side, her eyes filled with tears. Arthur reached out, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder and keeping it there as both of them turned their attention back to Tommy who held his hand out to John again. John grabbed the briefcase, opening it for Tommy who pulled out a long blade.

"Now, I'm gonna have to choose carefully which part of you I cut away first." He muttered as she stared at the old man who said soft prayers with his eyes closed again. "Open your eyes," Tommy demanded but the old man refused. "Open your eyes, or I will cut away your fucking eyelids!" He screamed and the old man's eyes immediately fluttered open. Now look at me. Look at me." He demanded and hesitantly the old man met his gaze. "This is the end. This is the end."

Tommy was silent for a second, his gaze diverting to the old man's mouth, as he continued to mutter his prayers. "It was your tongue that gave the order," he muttered before his gloved hand wrapped around the old man's jaw. "I'll take your tongue first. Then I'll take your ears. Then I'll take your fingers. Then your fucking toes."

Maude stared at her husband, her face blank. More than anyone, she wanted the old man dead for what he did to her. But not like this. Despite all, he didn't deserve to go out so cruelly. And above all else, Maude didn't want to be the reason for Tommy's cruel actions.

"See, I take your balls first, you drain too fast like you fuckers do." Tommy spat at the man. "No, I think tongue first. Tongue first." He insisted as he forced the old man's open and shoved the blade inside. Maude inhaled sharply as she immediately looked away, but Tommy was quick to pull the blade out again. "If I take your tongue, you won't be able to explain, and I want you to explain. I want you to fucking explain." He insisted, his voice full of emotion.

After a long second of silence, Maude heard her husband's footsteps and her gaze shot towards him. He walked towards the other side of the room and took a deep breath as he crouched down. "Come on, Tommy." He muttered before getting up to his feet and turning to face the old man. "I forget who I am. I forget who I am." He said before storming up to the old man. "I'm a Blinder. I'll take your fucking eyes first!" He screamed.

Maude glanced at Arthur, his outstretched arm and hand on her shoulder, exposing the gun holster on his hip. She swallowed the lump in her throat and reached out, grabbing his gun and turning it on the old man, pulling the trigger before her husband could even reach the Italian.

Arthur yanked the gun from her hand as she blankly stared at the old man's limp body died to the chair. He shared a wide-eyed look with John before turning his gaze to Tommy who stared at the dead Italian.

"I heard the blackbird sing," Maude muttered softly, her gaze turning to her husband who looked over at her as well. They silently stared at each other for a second before he slowly nodded his head. Tommy thought his wife wanted to be the one to do it. But Maude only wanted to stop her husband from taking cruel actions in the name of his love for her.

She walked out of the warehouse, leaving the men to clean up the mess as she waited in the car. Not on the drive home or at home, did Maude and Tommy talk about it. Neither of them wanted to. It was now all behind them, and now they could move on.

A week after Maude had the stitches taken out, she and Anna met up for a cup of tea at Arrow House. The two of them sat outside in the garden, basking in the sun, enjoying the peace and quiet as their children played inside under the supervision of Mary.

"We're sitting here like a couple of old folks," Maude muttered softly as she stared out at the tree lines that surrounded them on the right side of the house.

"We are old," Anna replied teasingly as she sipped on her tea, smiling when Maude's gaze found hers.

"We're in our early thirties," Maude muttered with a soft huff of amusement as she shook her head at Anna.

"You age faster with children, Maude," Anna replied, and again Maude let out a huff of amusement as her gaze briefly returned to her sister-in-law. For a second they were silent before Anna spoke again. "Did you hear Linda's up the duff?" She asked.

Maude hummed as she nodded her head. "Esme called this morning, told me." She muttered. In their family, no news stayed quiet between them for long. All gossip spread like wildfire within minutes.

"Daniel told me," Anna replied before slowly shaking her head. "Poor baby." She muttered.

"I don't think Linda's all that bad," Maude said and Anna slowly turned to face her with raised eyebrows. "She's annoying, but she's only trying to make Arthur a better man." She explained as she shrugged her shoulders.

"If she wanted a good man, she should have found herself a good man." Anna insisted and Maude hummed in agreement to the statement. "How did those two meet anyways?" Anna asked as her eyebrows furrowed.

Maude thought for a silent second before shrugging her shoulders. "Fuck if I know." She replied as she shook her head, having no idea how those two could have possibly ended up together.

That night Maude was sat in front of her vanity, brushing through her hair while Tommy lay on the bed, watching her. She was silent. For the past few days, she had been silent around Tommy, rarely speaking and looking upset and bothered by something.

And Maude was upset and bothered by something. It had been nearly two months since she got out of the hospital, nearly three since the shooting, and already a week since her stitches had gotten out. The doctors had cleared her of everything, all hard and physical labor, and moving around freely again. And yet it had been nearly three months since Tommy had touched her. She understood before but even now, he refused to touch her and avoided all her advances. She was upset and even hurt.

And Tommy could tell something was wrong with her. He silently watched her for a while longer before sighing. "What is wrong, sweetheart?" He finally asked her as he raised his eyebrows.

She slowly turned to look at him over her shoulder, shaking her head. "Nothing." She muttered before turning back to her vanity and continuing to brush her hair.

Tommy's eyebrows furrowed, not used to Maude being so closed off with him. "Maude, tell me what is wrong." He demanded as he got off the bed and approached her.

She met his gaze through the mirror, slowly putting her hairbrush aside as she took a deep breath before speaking up. "I want you to touch me, Tommy." She informed him softly.

Tommy silently stared back at her for a second before he shook his head."I can't." He replied softly.

Maude's face dropped as fast as her heart, feeling a gut-wrenching feeling inside her as she turned towards her husband. "You do not find me attractive anymore?" She asked softly as she looked up at him with hurt eyes.

"What?" He muttered softly as his eyebrows furrowed. He crouched down in front of her, taking her hands in his, holding onto her tightly when she tried to pull away. "No, sweetheart, don't ever think that away." He insisted as he shook his head, truly finding his wife to be the most beautiful and attractive woman he had ever laid his eyes on. And he always will.

"Then why won't you touch me?" She asked him softly as her head tilted to the side, eyebrows still deeply furrowed.

"Because your stitches have only recently been taken out." He explained softly to her as he reached out to cup her cheek, thumb brushing over her skin.

"Tommy, I won't break." She replied as she shook her head at him.

Tommy took a deep breath as he let go of her and stood up, placing his hands on his hips as he turned around, lowering his head. "I can't hurt you." He whispered as he shook his head.

"You won't." She assured and Tommy inhaled sharply. She got up to her feet, standing in front of Tommy and forcing him to look at her as she placed her hands on his cheeks. "Tommy, you won't." She repeated as she shook her head, giving him a pleading look. "Please, I need you." She whispered as she pressed her body against his.

"Fuck Maude." He whispered as he closed his eyes and lowered his head, hoping if he didn't see her pleading look her wouldn't give in to her.

"Please, Tommy." She begged and he sighed, her pleading voice just as bad as her eyes to his willpower.

Tommy's eyes opened again and he looked at her silently for a second before reluctantly giving in. "Don't beg me to be rough, or fast or hard, because I won't." He muttered as he shook his head. "I won't fuck you tonight sweetheart." He insisted. "I'll be gentle and we'll go slow. If you beg for anything other than that, I stop." He warned her.

"I won't beg for it rough." She replied as she shook her head, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and resting her forehead against his. "I just want you Tommy. I need you." She pleaded with him.

Tommy had been gentle with her that night, as gentle as he had never been before. He was careful with her, and it truly made her feel so loved. Tommy was always on the rougher side, but not that night. He only took care of her, asking for nothing in return, because to Tommy his wife's pleasure and happiness were more than enough.