chapter fifty-eight
058. arthur's revenge

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    THEY FINALLY stopped to rest the horses, sitting around a fire in the thicket of the forest as evening started to shroud them in darkness. Ronyn picked at his rabbit, not having much appetite, when he saw the dull look in Arthur's eyes sitting across from him. After the revelation that Morgause somehow knew of Ygraine Pendragon, Ronyn found himself pursing his lips in stunned silence since. He knew how much Arthur's mother meant to him▬and how much he blamed himself (a babe) for her death. He understood his want to learn everything about her that he could since his father never told him anything, too distraught by her death to even whisper her name. Ronyn felt a little guilty about losing his temper with his best friend over this. But the truth was, they still had no clue what Morgause had in store for them▬whether she truly knew anything about Ygraine. She could be luring Arthur into a trap, and Arthur did not care because he was so desperate to hear even the slightest insight into the woman who died before he had even opened his eyes.

    Morgause didn't seem that much older than Arthur and Ronyn herself▬how could she personally remember of Ygraine Pendragon before she died? It didn't settle well with Ronyn, and he wished the Prince would understand that he was thinking of his safety and well-being when he objected to this mysterious adventure. But now? Now Ronyn felt like the bad guy. He wasn't sure whether that made him angrier at Arthur, or simply frustrated with himself. 

    Ronyn ate a piece of his cooked rabbit, watching Arthur carefully as he stoked the fire with a small fallen branch he had picked off the forest floor. He hadn't said a word to him or Merlin since, and the silence was suffocating. Lord Vecentia glanced at the Prince's manservant, who rubbed his hands near the flames, trying to keep himself warm. He pursed his lips and shared a similar concern that weighed down on his brows at Arthur's silence. 

    When he realised that Ronyn wasn't going to say anything either, Merlin reached down for some dried leaves to add to the fire. He glanced at Arthur again, and murmured, "What was your mother like?"

    Arthur set his jaw, stoking the fire with a sudden bitter jab. "I never knew her. She died before I opened my eyes."

    Merlin faltered. He tugged at his blue tunic sleeves beneath his brown leather jacket. "I am sorry," he muttered. 

    The Prince glanced at them briefly, pulling his stick away from the fire and turning it in his gloved fingers. He sighed gently and stared at the tip of it that was coated in embers. "I barely know anything about her."

    Ronyn stayed quiet, swallowing back the pain he felt in his chest at the look on Arthur's face. It was hard to see a man who was usually so confident be stripped into someone so hesitant and unsure▬broken and pleading, wondering if the person he had become was so much like his father that there was nothing left of the woman who was praised to be so kind and honourable; whether that person would love the man her son had become. 

    "Can you not ask your father?" 

    Arthur glanced up at his servant once more. He chewed on the inside of his cheek and shrugged. "He refuses to talk about her," he muttered▬and the Prince felt some of the weight he had been carrying this entire time be lifted to be able to talk about his mother when he was so used to the very mention of her being something so taboo in his life. "It ... it must be too painful for him. Sometimes it is as if she never even existed."

    He hesitated, not sure whether he should continue, but the gentle way his friends were listening made Arthur take a breath and admit something he had never admitted before, "But ... it is as if ... I still have a sense of her. Almost as though she is part of me."

    Merlin's face lit up, and he hitched his breath in anticipation. "That▬that is the same with my father," he said suddenly, both surprised and almost holding a hesitant eagerness to have a similarity with the Prince of Camelot▬that there was a shared feeling, a shared experience between a Prince and a servant when they were on two opposite ends of society. "I never knew him. And my mother has barely spoken of him."

    Arthur's frown softened, and something gentle passed between them. Ronyn glanced down at his rabbit, not wanting to impose on the moment. 

    He wouldn't exactly call himself lucky. Lucky was a word he would never characterise his childhood with. His earliest memories were tainted with his father's iron fist and heavy expectations▬and Ronyn will forever be haunted by those scars, both tangible and intangible. He remembered trying to protect his mother and his sister from the late Lord Vecentia's anger▬determined to receive the blow himself until his mother would throw herself between them. Ronyn remembered having to run to the castle to get Gaius himself to take care of his mother, even though he was in pain himself. 

    Ronyn grew up with a loving▬sometimes stern and rigid, but loving and protective nonetheless▬mother, yes, and he would never trade her for anything in the world. But ... but sometimes he wished he had never known his father. It would have saved his family a lot of pain. But then, he would have never been graced with Adelynn in his life. As annoying as she was, Ronyn would never trade her, either.

    Merlin smiled to himself. "I ... I have this ... vague memory," he shared with them. He glanced at Ronyn and Arthur, quickly backtracking. "I▬it is probably just my imagination, however..."

    Arthur's gaze fell. "I would do anything for even the vaguest memory..." he murmured. 

    "Is that why you are so determined to find Morgause?" asked Merlin. "To see what she knows about your mother?"

    The Prince frowned. "Is that so wrong?"

    "No," his manservant shook his head and the Prince's frown lifted in surprise. 

    He pursed his lips, taken aback by Merlin's words for a moment. His servant offered a little smile. Arthur glanced down at his hands, where he was still fiddling with his stick. He stared at the piece of fabric tied to his chainmail sleeves▬blue against the red of his tunic. 

    He set his jaw and stood up. "I should get some rest," he announced and left the fire, walking over towards his bedroll. The conversation was over.

     Arthur lied back on his bedroll in the shadows of the tree canopies above. He stared up at them and saw the moonlight start to shine through the break in the leaves. Strangely enough, some part of him wished Odette were here. 

    Even if she might not fully understand, it always felt to Arthur as though she did. Her empathy and her emotional intelligence was unparalleled▬she always managed to say the right thing; she always told him whatever he needed to here, showed up when he felt his lowest, and pulled him out of the deepest parts of the oceans he was drowning in until he saw the light of home. 

     His fingers found the fabric she had given him▬right from her dress. He felt it so soft between the rough callouses behind his leather gloves. He still hadn't given it back to her like he had promised. What battle had he won to return her faith and her hope from? None. But he supposed it was more than that. He still needed her. He needed her wisdom, her faith, her kind words and her smile to get him through this. Arthur needed Odette, even if she was not here in person, and so he held onto the slightest peice of her heart she had given him to give him the strength he required to make it through whatever trails Morgause had set out for him▬and the trials he had given himself. 

    He was sure that if he returned▬no, when he returned▬he would get an earful from her about leaving her behind and in the dark from all of this. Just that thought; that imagine in his mind, managed to bring Arthur enough peace to smile in the shadows of the tree canopies and find some sleep.

    They took turns to watch as the others slept. Ronyn was the last one, and so when a few hours passed before the moon would disappear and the sunrise would guide them to a new morning, he woke Arthur and Merlin to face the brisk dawn. Together, they mounted their saddles and continued their lengthy journey, following the pathway Arthur's mare somehow seemed to miraculously know. She continued to lead them through the shrub and thick trees, along old tracks and roads that looked as though they hadn't been used on the regular in decades. 

    Arthur gripped his reins with hands that he would never admit were starting to tremble with nerves. He started to see the White Mountains in the distance▬their snowy white caps shrouded in heavy winter blizzards. He could feel their cold air tunnel down towards them, and he blamed it for the chills he felt crawl up and down his spine. 

    The three of them were uncharacteristically silent with each other. This upcoming Spring would mark two years since Merlin somehow managed to wriggle his annoying self into Arthur and Ronyn's friendship as Arthur's manservant. For almost two years the three of them have left Camelot on horseback together, have crossed through the forests between kingdoms as a team, have faced danger and gone on the many types of adventures Arthur and Ronyn used to play-out in the castle corridors as kids. In that time, on many hunting trips, many quests or simply to just go and explore every corner of the kingdom, Arthur supposed there is a chance they had gotten▬well▬close, or close enough with Merlin to consider him a friend. Their adventures were always filled with conversation, with jokes (mostly at Merlin's behest) and bickering between brothers. For it to be silent between them was a suffocating feeling Arthur didn't like. He didn't realise he'd miss Ronyn and Merlin's annoying jabbering until now when he didn't have it.

    He wasn't prepared to break the silence, however. Because if he broke the silence, then Arthur Pendragon would have to admit he preferred it when he was being pestered and annoyed by his two closest friends.

    And then, he would also have to admit that he considered Merlin a friend.

    (He would rather die before he'd do that, of course).

    Eventually, Ronyn sighed and urged his gelding closer to Arthur with a soft click of his tongue. The two old friends fell into pace beside one another. Arthur set his jaw and wouldn't look at Lord Vecentia, that same frustration and anger he felt every time Ronyn had spoken against this quest since they left Camelot returning. 

    Not once▬in all of their adventures together since they were children▬had Ronyn ever stood there and told Arthur he didn't have his back. That he wasn't following him willingly because he believed in him, and agreed with him. Ronyn had always followed Arthur▬whether it be on for a hunt, to get drinks at the tavern, on death-defying quests with his knights, to war or simply to steal food from the kitchens when they were kids▬he followed him, no matter what, with an unconditional loyalty Arthur treasured. And here he was, defiant and argumentive, and it made Arthur want to snap and tell him he never asked for his loyalty, he never asked for his annoying shadow, he never asked for Ronyn to be apart of his life, he just showed up in it and never left. If he wanted to leave back for Camelot, he could.

    They rode in silence for a few more minutes before Ronyn glanced shyly at a man who may as well be his brother, and murmured, "All right?"

    Arthur's shoulders tensed and he scowled at the pathway in front of them. "What do you think?" he grumbled.

    At his tone, Ronyn pursed his lips. They fell into another silence. Then, he said, "Look, I did not realise Morgause said she knew your mother, you did not tell me▬"

    "Must I tell you?" snapped the Prince and his friend frowned.

    "Well, no, but▬"

    "But what? I should have?" Arthur narrowed his eyes at Ronyn who set his jaw. "Is that what you were about to say, Ronyn?"

    "No," Lord Vencentia said again, growing frustrated. "Would you listen to me, Arthur, for once? Instead of trying to step over every word I say?"

    "Listen to what?" snapped the Prince and Lord Vecentia fell silent. He glowered at him. "Your hypotheticals? Your sarcasm? Your annoying jokes and badgering? Tell me, Ronyn▬what do I listen to you, does anything of notable worth ever come out of your mouth?"

     As soon as he said it, Arthur knew he regretted it▬he knew he didn't mean it. He knew his fear over what Morgause might know of his mother, and his anger got the best of him in this moment. But he wasn't about to backtrack and apologise; he wasn't about to tell Ronyn he was wrong. Even if he wished he could, there was a locked door where his pride was the key, and there was no way he could find a way to get past it. 

    He knew he hurt Ronyn. He also knew his friend was also too prideful to admit it or show it. Lord Vecentia swallowed the lump in his throat. "I am your friend," he told him. "I am trying to look out for you. And as your friend, I will never hold back the truth from you, Arthur. I understand you, even if you're an arrogant prat half of the time, and I will follow you, always, and advise you, even if you make me want to throw down my sword and walk away. That is no hypothetical, that is without any sarcasm, joke or badgering. That is the truth. I understand why you want to do this Arthur, but you know nothing of Morgause, and that is dangerous."

    Arthur set his jaw as well. He felt Ronyn's words sting at him▬cut him deeper than any blade and he wasn't sure how to process them. He just knew he didn't deserve Ronyn, and so, all he could ever do was push him away. "I never asked for your loyalty."

    "Tough," grumbled Ronyn, too stubborn to leave. "You have it anyway. Because you are the closest thing I have to a brother, Arthur, and when it comes to family, my loyalty is unconditional. I would do anything for you, even if you think so lowly of me, apparently."

    Arthur felt his heart sink. He went to say something, but couldn't▬that damned locked door stopped him, and he had to watch Ronyn's gaze flash with hurt and disappointment realising he was the reason. And realising, just now, how much he had taken his best friend, his brother in every way it truly meant, for granted. 

    They kept going as the sun rose over the high mountains in the distance. Prince Arthur tried to stay nonchalant▬he refused to show that he might be scared, or that he might be second-guessing his own decision. His father's stubborness was rooted in his very blood, as was his pride. He would not let himself show any form of weakness, not when he was riding towards his deepest fear.

    At last, when the sun was shining close to midday, did they reach the shore of a lake at the base of the White Mountains. 

    Their horses slowed to a stop. The view was stunning. The lake stretched far and wide, wrapped by thick shrub and willow trees that hung over its surface in the valley of the hilltops and cliff faces. A secret haven at the foot of a waterfall leading out of the river that flowed through the White Mountains▬pristine, gentile, and so very beautiful. 

    Merlin pulled his horse to a stop beside Arthur's. He shot him a flat stare, looking tired, annoyed and very exasperated by this whole excursion. "It seems your horse has brought us to a dead end."

    Arthur's mare had other ideas. She huffed and threw her head before marching forwards▬right into the water. The Prince blanched. "Wait▬what? Now where's she going?"

    "I think you are going to get wet," Merlin's voice called after him, surprisingly nonchalant about the whole ordeal.

    The Prince scowled back at his manservant over his shoulder. "Oh, really?" he grumbled sarcastically. But he let his horse lead the way.

    The lake was shallower than Arthur expected. At its deepest depths, it only reached past his mare's neck. His feet and calves were well submurged, and he felt the murky waters surge past them▬his mare showing surprising strength and stamina in her old age. It were as if she were as sprite and as determined as the day Arthur got her. 

    He glanced back once he was halfway across and saw Merlin and Ronyn reluctantly following. Merlin groaned and made disgruntled faces at the way his trousers, socks and boots were getting wet. Arthur rolled his eyes. 

    The Prince's mare continued through the water and clambered up the rocky slopes of the waterfall. Arthur held on, hunching up when the icy cold water soaked him from head to toe the moment they passed through, and there revealed itself a narrow, open cave. It cut through the base of the smaller slopes of the White Mountains and out into a secret valley in the alps shadows. 

    Arthur wiped the water from his eyes and pushed his hair off his face, staring up in breathless amazement at the stunning wonder of nature before him. Sunlight dawned on what was once a mighty, ancient stone castle. Now ruins, its turrets still pointed high in the shadow of the mountain scape behind it, sturdy and strong with foundations crawling with vines and mossy grass▬as if it were a part of the earth itself. With it looming over him, Arthur felt something strange▬something buzzing in his limbs and fluttering in his chest, and he was refreshed of his problems and his anger as if he were walking along the ocean shore. He was alive with something magical▬he could feel magic surround this place like a protective barrier, shrouding this place from wayward travelers forever more. 

    "Where are we?" whispered Ronyn, sounding just as breathless as Arthur felt.

    "I do not know," he admitted. He had never seen such a castle on any map, nor had he ever heard of it from any story. This castle was forgotten from the minds of men▬an Enchanted Castle deep within the forests left only for the woodland faries and the ghosts.

     "If we were not sure Morgause was a sorceress before," murmured Merlin, "we can be certain of it now."

    Arthur slumped and snapped his fingers at his servant. "You know what? That must have been how she defeated me," he tapped his heels to his mare's sides and led them towards the caste's entrance. "She was using magic."

    Merlin made a face. "Hmm ... Honestly, it did not look like she was."

    The Prince rolled his eyes as they rounded the debris of stone foundations that once belonged to a small lower town. Arthur could see ash coat the bricks of what once was a blacksmith, and cobblestone streets scrape beneath his horse's hooves, now overrun with grass. "And what would you know about magic, Merlin?"

    The young warlock▬his powers secret to his friends riding with him▬shrugged. "Nothing."

    Arthur, Ronyn and Merlin rounded the castle to the back walls▬most of the stone facade here had crumbled away, but the entrance inside the fortress was still visible behind a mess of vines and shrubbery. Arthur dismounted his horse and glanced back at his friends. He set his jaw and marched up the stone steps and into the darkness, ducking underneath spiderwebs and shuffling among mice scurrying back into the stone crevices. 

    The narrow corridor opened back up into the courtyard of the once mighty fortress where nature ran wild between the stone bricks and cobble pathways. The sun shined brightly past the mountain tops and down into the rubble and caved in ruins▬and it glinted against something metal, and very sharp.

    Arthur stopped in his tracks to stare at the axe embedded into an old execution block. He swallowed harshly at the worn-down centre of the wooden block, and the old stains dripping down its sides. But the axe, however, didn't look as old. It was still sharp and polished, and its handle was not worn. It seemed as though it had never been used. He approached it and grabbed the axe, pulling it from the block and giving it a curious swing. 

    As his friends came to stand near him, the Prince murmured, "Now what?"

    "Perhaps we should see what the horse says?" offered Ronyn sarcastically. Arthur scowled at him, not amused. 

    He spun the axe once again and brought it down onto the wooden block amongst the many ancient scars. The wood splintered from his strength. 

    Merlin seemed anxious to leave. Arthur didn't blame him. "Well▬there is no one here▬" he shuffled back towards he entrance, until a voice echoed from above. 

    "You kept your promise."

    From the winding stairwell that led deeper into the castle, the only other living being other than the wild nature stepped into view. Morgause walked down the stone steps in slippers adorned with lace and dressed in a luxury, beautiful, deep red tunic worthy of a queen. Silver thread and lace wrapped around her wiast and trailed down her arms. Her blonde hair fell down in gorgeous curls past her shoulders and breasts▬she looked like a princess, not a rogue knight. 

    Arthur blinked, very confused. But he quickly recovered, standing tall and clenching his jaw, prepared. "What is the nature of the challenge you wish to set me?" he demanded answers from her as she approached him. 

    Morgause watched him intently▬and her eyes were startling and sharp, just as sharp as the axe resting on the execution block. She stopped right in front of the Prince. Only then, did she answer, "Place your head on the block."

    Ronyn stiffened. "What?" he let out but Arthur ignored him.

    Morgause picked up the axe and nodded pointedly at the Prince. Arthur hesitated, his heart leaping with horror. He glanced at the block, then back at her, wondering whether she was serious. Surely she would not have spared his life only to kill him now?

    She narrowed her eyes. "You gave me your word that you would do anything I asked."

    "Arthur, do not!" Merlin warned.

    "Listen to him, Arthur▬" Ronyn surged forward and went to unsheath his blade. He glowered at Morgause. "You lay a hand on the Prince, witch, and I will▬"

    Arthur held out his hand to his friend, stern▬the scowl on his face made Ronyn stop and lower his blade. They locked stares in a glowering match until Lord Vecentia gritted his teeth and retreated back to Merlin's side, breathing heavily through his nose as he listened to the orders of his future King, but was cursing the heavens while he was at it. 

     The Prince then took a deep, courageous breath and knelt before the execution block. Merlin's eyes widened. "What are you doing?!" he let out, horrified. "Arthur▬I will not let you do this▬!"

    "Stay out of this, Merlin!" snapped Arthur as he rested his chin amongst the splinters and stains of ancient blood. He took sharp breath through his nose, trying very hard not to tremble with fear. He knelt at Morgause's mercy▬placing his life in her hands, and his heart was pounding. 

    "Arthur▬!" Ronyn tried to stop him, but it was too late. 

    Morgause stepped up to the execution block. She slowly lowered the axe down until its frozen edge chilled the back of Arthur's neck. The Prince gritted his teeth and prepared himself for the worst, his heart pounding in his ears and his breath trembling. She held the axe up.

    He clenched his hands and closed his eyes▬and his thoughts were only of Odette's smile.

    The axe never came back down. 

    Arthur flinched and opened his eyes when he heard a soft thud. He glanced over and saw the weapon leaning against the execution block. Morgause stepped back. 

     "You have shown that you are truly a man of your word, Arthur Pendragon," said Morgause and Arthur blinked, his heart lurching as well as his stomach. He could have heaved then and there but he forced himself to gather his composure. He stammered as he stood back up, doing his best not to sway. His legs felt like they were made of nothing but air. 

    The mysterious sorceress glanced back at Arthur and his friends, a dangerous glint in her gaze. "And for that," she continued, "I will grant you one wish. Tell me what it is that your heart most desires."

    Arthur gritted his teeth again. He felt like he had been made a fool. He clenched his hands again to try and gather some of his pride and courage once more and stormed up to her, breathing heavily. "You said you knew my mother," he said, finding his voice again. "Tell me what you know about her."

    Morgause tilted her head at him, not intimidated by his anger. "Perhaps you would like to see her."

    The Prince's anger faltered. He frowned, confused by what she meant. His heart started to race again▬but now for a different reason. Arthur's armour cracked and there stood instead the vulnerable young boy who always begged his father for even just the slightest story about his mother. He hitched his breath softly. "I ... I want that more than anything."

    Morgause smiled. "As you wish."

    Arthur watched her go, and his legs moved before the rest of him could follow. His heart led him, not his mind▬and it shadowed Morgause wherever she would take him with little thought of any consequence. 

    The Prince was confused. His anger had washed away at last▬his pride, his fury and his father's stubborness, leaving behind the shell of the man his father tried to mould him into, and instead there stood a boy who felt as though fog that had been clouding his vision for all these years was finally clearing▬and what he saw behind it was not what he expected, and it changed everything he thought he had known since a child. 

    Magic was evil, he reminded himself. It corrupted the mind, the heart and the soul▬turning even the purest of beings into something sinful and horrible. That was what his father has told him and has warned him of; that those who practiced magic did all they could to undermine and kill them. 

    Yet, Morgause was a sorceress▬and twice, now, she has held Arthur's life in the palm of her hands, and twice, she has spared him.

    And now, she was prepared to give him the one thing he had always wanted for as long as he could remember▬to give him something not even his father would.

    Why would someone who was so evil, so horrible with a thirst for blood, do so?

    Arthur's mind was spinning as he continued to follow Morgause deeper into the ruins of the castle, his heart pounding. He knew Merlin and Ronyn weren't far behind him, though he barely recognised that they were there. His breathing was laboured, his stomach churned with nerves▬he felt sick with anticipation and fear. He tried not to anticipate anything because he didn't want to be disappointed. But it was hard▬it was very hard. 

    He thought of that horrible day▬when he was fifteen and eager to prove himself to his father, even more than he was now. He had led that raid to the Druid camp▬the first time he had been responsible for leading something so important. A green boy who couldn't even raise his voice loud enough to be heard, to stop the Knights when they turned their swords from the men to the women, to order the guards to pull the dogs back from attacking the children, to draw his own sword and defend the honour of innocents who despite their magic, did not fight back, they did not call upon darkness nor did they kill. They had simply tried to protect each other. The women threw their arms around their children, the men took the blows in desperate attempts to stop guards from taking away the honour from their wives and daughters▬Arthur remembered the screams, the cries, the smell of burning flesh when the camp had been set alight. 

    He remembered feeling like the only sinful villain there, had been himself. 

    Now, here he was coming to a standstill again, watching Morgause walk around an ancient stone table sat inside a open chamber on cobblestone overrun by nature as vines hung down, crawling through the cracks in the roof, Arthur was torn in his confidence. He eyed the sorceress as she carefully lit every candle in the room one by one until the darkness of the chamber was lit only by dim, flickering flames, casting them in an orange glow▬and Arthur never knew flames to be cold. 

    If Morgause had wanted to kill him, as all those with magic were supposed to with no mercy, then why hadn't she taken the chance by now? Why did she spare his life? Nothing about her seemed evil, nothing about her seemed vicious nor sinful. 

    Arthur's hands were clammy as these thoughts▬thoughts that were punishable by death▬drowned him. His breath hitched and he felt sick▬confused and dazed as he questioned everything his father told him all at once. Was it his guilty conscious influencing him? Was it his desire to see his mother? Or was it the truth?

     It was Merlin's voice that slowly dragged him back to focus. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he murmured, eyeing Morgause cautiously as she continued to light the many candles in the old throne room. Columns wrapped in vines towered above to an open ceiling that had long ago caved in, revealing the clouds that had gathered as it grew closer to evening, shrouding the moon from view. 

    Arthur glanced at his servant. "If you were granted the same opportunity, would you not want to meet your father?" he whispered.

    Merlin hestiated▬Arthur had struck a chord with him there. He set his jaw and swallowed harshly, forcing back any feelings surrounding his father that might cloud his judgement in this moment. "Uther will not forgive you if he finds out you have collaborated with a sorcerer."

    "He is right, Arthur," murmured Ronyn, looking very on edge as a eerie chill settled within the ruins. "Think about what you are about to do."

    Arthur frowned at them both, and the troubling thoughts in his mind crawled down to the tip of his tongue, and he had no chance in stopping them from slipping out▬and he spoke them aloud with a racing heart, "What if my father's attitude towards magic is wrong?"

    Both Ronyn and Merlin fell into a shocked silence. Ronyn stared at Arthur as if he had gone mad. He stammered, not sure how to respond. Perhaps he would scoff, perhaps he would call Arthur insane or perhaps he would declare that Morgause had enchanted his mind and his actions, but he did not. He stayed silent. His gaze drifted down, weighed with the same troubling thoughts Arthur himself had lurking within him. After a moment, Ronyn hitched his breath and shook his head, something close to fear sparking inside him▬fear to even think against what the King had declared; against the law of the Kingdom and the land. Against all that he grew up beleving▬it was jarring, to reconsider everything one has been taught all their lives. 

    And Merlin ... Arthur could not describe the look in Merlin's eyes. He blinked, swallowing a visible lump in his throat. He stepped back, almost as if Arthur's words had burned him. His servant's breath was hitched, his words soft and shaky▬as if he wanted to make sure he had heard him correctly. "You ..." he clenched his hands under the sleeves of his jacket▬neither Arthur nor Ronyn realised how much they were shaking. "You really think that?"

    Arthur glanced around them▬as if expecting Camelot guards to ambush them from the shadows for merely uttering a whisper of the possibility. "Perhaps ... perhaps it is not as simple as he would have us believe," murmured the Prince, setting his gaze back onto the strange, ancient stone table in the centre of the ruins. He could feel Ronyn and Merlin's stare on him like a burning brand against his shoulder blades. "Morgause is a sorcerer, yet she has caused us no harm. Surely ... surely not everyone who practices magic can be evil."

     Ronyn's voice sounded hoarse▬as if he hadn't had water in days, "Arthur ... we▬we do not even know why she is doing this..."

    He trailed off when Morgause stepped away from the final candle. She glanced back at them, and her expression was unreadable. "It is time," she announced and blew out the flames on the piece of kindle held between her fingers.

    She set it down on the stone table and then held out her hand towards Arthur. Morgause recognised his hesitation, his fear and his pain, and offered him a soft, reassuring smile. "Come," she soothed him. 

    The Prince somehow managed to get his legs to move again. He stepped closer and Morgause guided him to stand in front of the stone table. Arthur was surrounded by candles that even with the night sky above them, and the wind rustling through the leaves and the vines, their flames did not go out. 

    Gentle, she placed a hand on his pauldron▬and the touch calmed his pounding heart even through his armour. "Close your eyes," she murmured.

    Arthur hesitated. But, then he took a deep breath and let his eyes flutter close. He held his breath, his chest felt tight, his stomach was twisting with nerves. 

    By his ear, he heard a language he knew not of▬something ancient and raw, coming from the depths of Morgause's soul as she chanted: "Arise mid min miclan mihte þín suna to helpe. Hider eft funde on þisse ne middangeard þín suna wæs."

    Arthur flinched when he felt the wind around him settle▬it seemed to blanket him, going hauntingly still. The night was suddenly silent▬and it was haunting and wrong; it felt wrong. Arthur's breathing grew laboured, and yet at the same time, he felt as though he wasn't breathing. He was underwater, and yet standing on the edge of a cliff at the very same time. He was here, and he was nowhere▬he was exisiting, and yet, he was not.

    And then, he heard it▬the only sound in the heavy silence. A woman's voice calling for him, "Arthur..."

    Arthur's heart skipped a beat. His breath hitched. Slowly, he opened his eyes. 

    He felt his knees grow weak. He saw her▬that portrait in that lonely corridor, hidden away every day except once a year; a portrait Arthur could picture with his eyes closed was suddenly standing there, alive in front of him. 

     Ygraine Pendragon smiled▬and it was the smile everyone praised. A smile on pink lips that was so beautiful, and so soothing it made Arthur's heart clench and swell at the same time. It brightened her soft features and her gentle blue eyes framed by stunning curly, flaxen hair that tumbled down her shoulder. 

    She looked like him. Arthur looked like her. 

    For the first time, he truly felt and believed that he was his mother's son more than his father's. He couldn't look away, he forgot how to breathe▬he was scared that if he moved towards her, she would disappear. Ygraine was pale like porceilain, frail and nimble▬she looked gaunt and sick, almost, shifting in and out of view in a gown made of pink and silver lace roses. She was here, and yet she was not here▬she was a ghost, and it was a painful reminder to Arthur that she was not alive.

    "Arthur," she called him again. She was tearful.

    Arthur's throat closed in. He felt his eyes burn with oncoming tears, and they fell when he finally croaked the word he had always wanted to say, "Mother..."

    Ygraine hitched back a sob and surged forwards. "Oh, my son, my dear son▬!" Arthur flinched when he felt her arms pull him down to her height. He froze to feel them wrap over his shoulders and around his neck, and Arthur choked his own sob. He slumped and gripped his mother tight, hands trembling on her back as he buried his face into her shoulder. He felt her, he breathed her in, he trembled in her loving embrace▬a mother's embrace.

    He cried, he couldn't help it. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know whether to relax or to tense up▬he was in a place so familiar and yet so unfamiliar, experiencing a feeling he should know deep in his heart, but never got to have. 

    "My dear boy," she gasped, trembling as well. She closed her eyes and clung onto him, not eager to let go▬but neither was Arthur. He closed his eyes as well, at last relaxing in his mother's arms. "My darling Arthur..."

    She cupped the back of his head, her fingers feeling the hair that was so much like her own. Ygraine soothed him with soft murmurs, shushing his muffled cries in a way Arthur's father never would. "When I last held you, you were a tiny baby. I remember your eyes▬" smiled his mother and her chilling kiss on his temple was as cold as ice. She pulled back to cup his cheeks. "You were staring up at me. Those few seconds I held you were the most precious of my life. And now, you have grown," she chuckled through tears. "Oh, my dear son▬you are everything I dreamed. My blessed miracle."

    Arthur shook his head. "I am so sorry," he told her, his voice broken and raw. 

    Ygraine's smile fell. She wiped away the tears on his cheeks. "What?" she shook her head and brushed his hair out of his eyes. "My son, you have nothing to be sorry for."

    He couldn't stop his tears. He took a shaky breath and shook his head once more. "No, no," he pulled her hand away, ashamed to be held by her, ashamed to be loved by a woman who died because of him. "It▬it was my birth that caused you to die."

    His mother's face dropped in horror. "No," she argued immediately. "No, you are not to blame▬"

    "I cannot bear the thought that you died because of me▬"

    "Do not think that!" she pulled him into a tight embrace yet again. Arthur broke. "It is your father who should carry the guilt for what happened."

     She froze the moment she said those words. Arthur did as well. He grew tense and stiff, pulling away to hold his mother by her arms, staring into her eyes that immediately darted away. "What do you mean?" he muttered, confused. 

    Ygraine stammered. She took a shaky breath and smiled. She cupped his cheeks again, the brush of her thumb soothing despite her touch being colder than ice. "It is not important, my darling. What matters is that you lived."

    He pulled her hands away, his brows knitting into a frown. "Why should my father feel guilty?" 

    She shook her head. "It is better left in the past▬"

    "You cannot leave me with more questions," Arthur snapped. He regretted it immediately and backtracked, softening his tone. "I▬I am sorry," he apologised. "Just ... please, Mother," he pleaded, the title foreign on his tongue. "I need to know."

    His mother sighed. She stepped back, considering her next words carefully. Ygraine Pendragon pursed her lips. "Your father," she began, holding her fingers close to her stomach, "he was ... desperate for an heir. Without a son, the Pendragon Dynasty would come to an end. But ..." she hung her gaze. "But I could not conceive."

    Arthur's frown deepened. That churning feeling in the pit of his stomach returned. "But ... how was I born, then?" he murmured. His mother wouldn't meet his gaze. He bowed his head closer to her height and gently pressed her, "Tell me."

    Ygraine reached out and took his hands, squeezing them. She met his gaze finally. "Your father betrayed me," she told him softly. "He went to the sorceress Nimueh and asked for her help in conceiving a child. You ... you were born of magic."

    Arthur staggered back. The edge of the stone table stopped him from falling. He stared at the ghost of his mother in horror and disbelief. "N▬No," he let out, shaking his head. His heart was pounding again. He felt that anger rise up within him again like a poisonous cloud that turned the air in his lungs toxic. "You▬you are wrong," he told his mother. "That is not true."

    "I am sorry, Arthur," she reached out for him again but he pulled away. He breathed heavily, trying to comprehend what she was telling him, but his mind was muddled. "Your father has deceived you as he deceived me. To create a life, a life must be taken. Your father knew that▬"

    "No▬"

    "▬He sacrificed my life so the Pendragon Dynasty could continue▬" Ygraine grabbed his arms to stop him from leaving her. She held them with a grip made with iron, forcing him to look at her and hear her truth. "But it makes you no less my son, nor me any less proud of you! Now I see you, and I see how wonderful you are, I▬I would have given my life willingly! Do not let this knowledge change you, my darling boy. My miracle, my son, please..."

    Arthur clenched his eyes shut and shook his head. He didn't want to see her. He didn't want to believe any of this. How could his father betray him in such a way? Betray his mother who he declared he loved so dearly? For what▬for his crown and his legacy? He, who persecuted and executed those who practised magic when he, himself, used it to betray and kill the one he had vowed to love and protect. This whole time, Uther Pendragon was not purging sorcery out of a determined quest for peace and prosperity in Camelot, he was purging it out of guilt, and fear, and hated of himself. 

    He felt the wind pick up again. The cold grip on his wrists disappeared and Arthur felt his heart jolt painfully. He opened his eyes, and hitched his breath▬his mother was gone. "N▬no!" he spun to Morgause, sick to the stomach. "You▬bring her back!"

    Morgause looked pained. "I cannot," she said sadly and filled with regret. Arthur clenched his jaw and wanted to draw his sword▬he wanted to bring it down on this damned stone table and yell his fury to the heavens. "Once the doorway is closed, it is closed forever."

    She approached him, not afraid of his anger. "For what it is worth," murmured the sorceress, placing a hand on Arthur's arm. "I am truly sorry that you had to learn of your mother's fate in this way. I can only ... imagine how it must feel to discover your father is responsible for her death." Morgause sighed and pulled her hand away, bowing her head in dismay. "It is ... truly an unforgivable betrayal."

    Unforgivable.

    Arthur set his jaw and took a sharp breath through his nose. The toxic anger clouding in his chest swelled to an extent he had never felt before. He didn't even realise Morgause had left him alone with Ronyn and Merlin▬Arthur barely remembered they were there.

    Ronyn frowned at him, feeling uneasy at the look in his eyes. "Are you all right?" he spoke up, his own voice a little shaky from what he had seen. When the Prince did not respond, he said, "Arthur?"

    The Prince's gaze snapped upwards to them, and he was seething with fury. "Fetch the horses," he ordered Merlin before setting off at a livid march for the exit. "We are returning to Camelot."

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    MERLIN HAD NEVER seen Arthur so angry. 

    The storm of his fury followed them from Morgause's enchanted castle, through the Darkling Woods and back to the city of Camelot. Three days ride, and Arthur spoke not a word to Merlin and Ronyn. Every breath he took festered the boiling fury in his chest more and more, ready to overflow. Merlin and Ronyn tried to speak with him. They tried to get through to him past the ferocious storm, but it was at their own peril. Arthur's anger could be sharper and more dangerous than his own blade▬and when he lashed out, he attacked. Merlin remembered the night before he was to fight the wraith of Tristain De Bois, and had brandished his sword before his manservant out of anger▬not to harm, but to warn. That was all he would do, but in this moment, Merlin was scared that nothing would stop him from unleashing the true extent of the anger that fuelled every step he took. 

    Not even Ronyn was brave enough to press his oldest friend and his anger. Even he was scared of what Arthur might do.

    Merlin didn't blame Arthur. He was furious himself▬at Uther Pendragon, at the lies he has told and the lengths he has gone to persecute Merlin's kind. He was a hypocrite, a traitor to his own laws and an arrogant tyrant. He executed those with magic to ease his own guilt because instead of blaming himself and admitting that he was the cause of his wife's death, he blamed innocent people. All the people who had died in the Great Purge▬the women and children, fathers and sons▬and all those who still die nearly every week in Camelot ... they had been forced to pay for the crimes their own king had committed▬for the murder he had weighing on his conscious. Merlin was frothing at the mouth as the truth was finally revealed. 

    And he couldn't even begin to imagine the anger Arthur must feel.

    Ronyn was freakishly quiet about the whole ordeal. He did not even utter a word about how he felt about what happened to Merlin. It made the warlock feel on edge. It had occured to him, of course, what Ronyn might think, or feel about magic▬whether he truly believed that all of those who practised magic were inherently evil. The possibility of that kept him awake many nights with a horrible ache to his chest▬as it did over any of his friends he kept his secret from: Arthur, Guinevere, Ronyn, Morgana ... over and over again in his head he went over how he would one day tell them the truth, and was faced with dreams of acceptance and unconditional support, and nightmares of the way their faces would drop into anger and he would be carted off for execution. 

    But Arthur's reaction▬his words about how maybe not all magic users were evil after one single experience with a sorceress who had not gone out of her way to kill him▬gave Merlin a dangerous, naive sense of hope. 

    When Merlin saw the turrets of the citadel over the tree tops in the distance, he didn't feel relieved to be home. He and Ronyn followed Arthur down the pathway through the woods and in through the outer city's gates. They cantered their way towards the citadel square, passing the guards who greeted them with little acknowledgement.

    The Prince continued for the courtyard in a chilling silence. When he reached the stairs, he dismounted, unsheathed his sword with a shrill sound, and stormed up the stone steps for the castle entrance.

    Merlin and Ronyn dismounted, too, watching him go with troubled stares. 

    "Arthur▬" Ronyn called after their friend, trying to follow. "Arthur, what are you▬?"

    The Prince spoke to them for the first time since, and it was a vicious, venomous snap over his shoulder, "Stay out of this, Ronyn!"

    Lord Vecentia stopped at the foot of the stairs, taking a sharp breath through his nose and clenching his hands, but he did not climb the stone steps to follow. 

    Merlin pursed his lips and walked up to his friend. "What do you think he is going to do?" he asked Lord Vecentia, the both of them watching the Prince storm inside the castle with tense shoulders.

    "I do not know," admitted Ronyn and met his gaze. "That is what worries me the most."

    Suddenly, a leather pouch hit Merlin's shoulder. "Ow▬!" he let out and soon following it, was the furious red cheeks of Odette. 

    Blissfully ignorant of their troubling matter, she marched up to them with clenched hands and a flustered, upset huff. Trailing a few paces behind her was Gaius who looked quite startled to see Morgana's handmaiden attack Merlin and Ronyn in broad daylight in the square. "You clotpoles!" she let out.

    She came to a stop in front of them, snatched up her leather pouch and crossed her arms, glowering. "You left without me!" she huffed, looking very miffed and upset. 

    "That's my word," mumbled Merlin, if not a bit offended at her stealing his favourite insult. He rubbed his shoulder. 

    "You left without me!" she said again, looking very much the same as she once did at eight when Ronyn and Arthur left her behind on their adventures through the castle menagerie as Knights. 

    "In our defence," Ronyn took a wary step behind Merlin, afraid she'd whack him with her pouch, too. "Arthur threatened us with bodily harm if we got you involved."

    "So?"

    Ronyn blanched at her. "So," he mocked her tone, "we would rather not be eaten alive by his dogs, Odette."

     It was then that Gaius joined them, sounding breathless as he gave the two young men a quick glance over for injuries. "Bless the heavens," he exclaimed softly. "I am relieved to see you two safe." He soon noticed the Prince was missing. "Where is Arthur?"

    Just like that, their faces dropped with worry. Merlin set his jaw, trying very hard to contain his anger in front of Ronyn. He glanced around the courtyard▬there were too many people around. If anyone else heard the truth about what they had just learnt...

    Merlin pursed his lips and ducked into the shadows of one of the columns. Ronyn, Gaius and Odette followed him▬and they huddled together in the empty open corridor near the entrance to the kitchens, their conversation hidden from any curious, passing ear.

    "Arthur was born of magic," Merlin told Odette and Gaius. The young handmaiden's eyes widened▬her gasp was lost in the back of her throat. But Merlin just set his steel stare onto the Court Physician, daring him to lie. "Wasn't he?"

    "No, no he was not," murmured Odette in her soft disbelief. She glanced between Merlin, Ronyn and Gaius▬seeing the solemn look on the physician's face, her breath hitched once more. "You▬this is true?"

     "You knew," Ronyn soon understood the look on Gaius's face. His eyes flashed with anger. "You knew the truth of what happened to his mother?"

    Gaius sighed and tried to speak, but he was overwhelmed by their accusations. 

    "Uther used magic," Merlin seethed, breathing heavily. "All of those people he has executed▬he is as guilty as they are! He sacrificed Arthur's mother▬he as good as murdered her!"

    Gaius simply lowered his gaze, filled with grief and guilt over what he let happen. Ronyn scoffed and shook his head▬he was torn. He was torn with the truth he had just learnt and all that he had been told since he was a child. He didn't know what to believe right now, but he knew he felt angry▬he knew he was angry for Arthur, for the many people who, this entire time, were guilty of a crime they never committed. 

    Odette was tearful. She felt Arthur's pain, not his anger▬almost as if it were her own. She whispered his name with sombre heartbreak, her fingers pressing against her lips with worry as she shuffled anxiously on her feet next to Merlin. 

    "People should know the truth about what he has done. Why did you never say anything?" demanded Merlin. 

    The Court Physician sighed. "I feared what Arthur would do if he ever found out."

    Merlin and Ronyn shared urgent glances. 

    "Oh, he has found out now," said Merlin before he and Ronyn took off at a run up the castle stairs. They disappeared inside.

    "Stay here," Gaius told Odette before he followed as fast as he could. 

    "But, wait▬" she tried to stop him, but at the look he shot her▬stern and urgent, she set her jaw and stopped in her path. Annoyed and worried, Odette shuffled apprehensively in the shadow of the stone pillars, her heart racing at the thought of what Arthur's anger might cause him to do. 

    Meanwhile, Merlin and Ronyn sprinted through the castle hallways. They leapt up the stairwells two steps at a time and skidded around the corners. Ronyn breathed heavily, his armour weighing him down as he attempted to keep up with the Prince's manservant who was raced in front. 

    His own mind was spinning and making him dizzy over what he had learned▬Ronyn didn't know what to believe, he didn't know what he felt about it, deep down. Magic has harmed so many people he has cared about, and yet, did they harm others not because magic corrupted them, but because it was Uther who instigated their hate? After all this time▬after nearly twenty-three years of bloodshed▬had the lines between guilty and innocent, good and evil, blurred so much that it was impossible to decide who was right and who was wrong?

    Ronyn didn't know. He just knew that he and Merlin had to somehow stop Arthur from doing something he would later regret. 

    They heard the shrill sound of steel against steel echo off the stone walls as they finally reached the hallway outside the council chambers. Ronyn skidded to a stop, his heart lurching when he realised what Arthur was doing▬he had challenged his father. He was prepared to serve the punishment he believed the King deserved and was fighting him in his very castle. The King would never kill his only son▬Arthur would commit regicide.

    Sir Leon was standing dutifully in front of the closed doors. Ronyn gasped and ran towards the Knight. When he and Merlin tried to get past him, he forced them away. "The King has forbidden anyone to enter!"

    "Leon!" snapped Ronyn, furious. "Open your ears▬" he gestured at the door where the sound of sword meeting sword pierced their ears through the wood and stone. "They are going to kill each other!"

    Sir Leon's eyes widened. He glanced back at the door as if it had only just dawned on him. Torn between his honour, his loyalty, and his king's orders, the Knight hesitated. Ronyn wasn't going to wait any longer, he shoved Leon to the side and forced open the chamber doors. They slammed against the stone.

    Lord Ronyn Vecentia ran inside with Merlin beside him. "ARTHUR, STOP!"

    The Prince hovered over his father, the King. Uther cowered back in his chair at the foot of the long table, staring up at the pointed edge of his son's blade that was inches above his heart. 

    Arthur heaved, but he did not bring his sword down. He held it there, trembling in his wrath and desire for revenge. 

    "Arthur!" Merlin and Ronyn rounded the council table, stopping just paces from the King and the Prince▬both shocked by Arthur's pure, unrelenting rage. "You do not want to do this!"

    The Prince did not lower his blade. "My mother is dead because of him!" shouted Arthur, but no matter how enranged he was, there were tears in his eyes. 

    Ronyn closed his eyes briefly, feeling as though Arthur's blade had pierced his heart, and not his father's▬the raw, vulnerable and desperate cry of anger and grief in Arthur's voice struck them all with a mortal blow. 

    He took a deep breath, stepping closer to his dear friend. "Arthur," he murmured, trying to coax him to look at him. "I know," Ronyn felt a lump in his throat, too. "I know but ... but killing your father ... that is not going to bring your mother back."

    He saw Arthur hesitate. His grip around his sword hilt softened ever-so-slightly. His bottom lip trembled with the vulnerable, exposed heart of a young boy, not of the man who did all he could to conceal it. 

    "You have already lost one parent," continued Ronyn, his heart pounding. "Do you really want to lose another?"

    "Listen to him, Arthur▬"

    At his father's breathless, begging voice, Arthur grew rigid once more and flexed his grip around his sword hilt. He held it up again.

    "Arthur, please, put the sword down▬" 

    "You heard what my mother said!" cried Arthur, cutting off Merlin's desperate plea. The Prince seethed. "After▬after everything he has done, do you believe he deserves to live?! He executes those who use magic, and yet he has used it himself!" He dug the tip of his blade against is father's chest enough to slice through the leather of his vest. Uther's breath hitched in terror. "You have caused so much suffering and pain! I will put an end to that!"

    Ronyn shook his head and went to say something else, but then Merlin cut through: 

    "Morgause is lying!" he said loudly. 

    Lord Vecentia frowned. He glanced over at Arthur's manservant who looked as though he had been physically wounded by sounding those words. Merlin clutched his side and took a deep breath to stand up straighter. "She ..." he swallowed harshly, "she is an enchantress."

    Arthur hesitated once more. He breathed heavily, but his brows knitted together▬he was listening to what Merlin was saying.

    Merlin felt like he was choking. His chest squeezed painfully, every breath he took was filled with ash and smoke▬it was as if his body knew his words were betraying every belief he held, every one of his kin that had been brutally murdered, massacred and wrongfully executed to ease Uther Pendragon's guilty conscious. And, as punishment for such dreadful betrayal, his body was slowly killing him from the inside out, starting with his heart▬shrivelling it until there was nothing left. 

    Because how heartless could Merlin be to lie? How heartless could he be to defend and protect the man who would execute him just the same if he found out the truth? How heartless could he be to tell Arthur that the one time he heard his mother's voice, felt her touch, heard her truth ... had been nothing but an enchantment conjured by magic.

    "She tricked you," continued Merlin, forcing his voice past the painful lump in his throat. He avoided the frown on Ronyn's face and the startled stare from Gaius who had finally arrived. He focused on Arthur▬because no matter the pain, no matter the way it slowly killed him, he was doing this all for him. For the future he hoped he would one day bring ... even if Merlin died piece by piece every day waiting for this destined era of glory and peace to arrive. "That was not your mother you saw▬that was an illusion."

    The rage softened from Arthur's face and he blinked, as if up until now, he hadn't been seeing clearly. It was working.

    Merlin swallowed his tears and took a few steps forward. His legs felt like they were made of lead. "Everything ..." his voice broke. He took a deep breath. "Everything your mother said to you ... those were Morgause's words."

    Arthur shook his head. "You don't know that!" he shouted, and a small sob broke through, slowly sending the stone walls of his anger crumbling to ruin. 

     "This has been her plan all along!" said Merlin desperately. "To turn you against your father. A▬and if you kill him, the kingdom will be destroyed! This is what she wants!"

    The Prince breathed heavily, confused and hurt▬torn between two endings of the same devastating, terrible story. 

    "Listen to him," whispered the King. "He is speaking the truth▬"

    Arthur clenched his jaw and held up his sword one last time▬it was the only way he could stop himself from breaking down. "Swear to me it is not true!" he demanded, his voice cracking. "You are not responsible for my mother's death▬Give me your word!"

    "I swear on my life, I loved your mother!" let out Uther, and the usual commanding and sometimes cruel, bellowing tone of his voice was now heavy and cracked with grief. "There▬" The King took a sharp breath through his nose to keep the only humanity left in his heart from crawling up his throat. "There is not a day that passes, not a breath I take, nor a night I lie awake where I do not wish that she were still alive. I could never have done anything to hurt her."

    Arthur strained so much that it hurt not to cry in front of his father. He clenched his jaw, his face was red in effort▬but nothing could stop the tears that slipped from his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. He dropped his blade and collapsed to his knees, and his heartbroken sob pierced through the still, heavy air in the room. 

    "Oh, God," whimpered Arthur, clinging onto the edge of his father's chair. He was trembling. "Oh, God, forgive me..."

    Uther sat up, watching his son break at his feet, begging for his mercy and forgiveness. The King softened and lifted his hand. He cradled his son's head, holding him as he cried. "My son," he murmured, leaning down, "you mean more to me than ... than anything..."

    "I'm sorry," sobbed Arthur. "I'm▬I'm so sorry..."

    The King brushed his son's hair out of his eyes▬hair so much like his mother's. Arthur was the best part of him▬all that he lost of his love, his wife, he saw in his only son. "You are not to blame," he told him before he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his head. 

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

   RONYN EXPECTED to be called to the Prince's chambers later that day. He thought his friend might wish for more time alone after all that had happened, but he knew, sooner or later, they would lash out whatever tension was left between them. He knocked on the door of the Prince's chambers, feeling rather exhausted▬in both his mind and his body. He had been mulling over everything, too. He was confused, and he was torn. There was so much to unpack and try to make sense of, and Ronyn could barely keep his eyes open on his desk when he attempted to. 

    "Come," Arthur's voice was sharp and dull▬exhausted, too.

    Ronyn opened the doors and stepped inside. He closed it behind him and saw his dear friend standing alone by the windows of his chambers. He leaned his shoulder against the stone, arms crossed as he frowned down at the courtyard below. The afternoon sun shined on his face, surrounding him in a halo of light. 

    Lord Vecentia pursed his lips and slowly walked up to his friend. He carefully leaned his shoulder against the stone wall opposite him, staring out of the window, too. He let out a long sigh. "I am exhausted," he muttered.

    Arthur finally glanced at him and he met his gaze. He offered a little smile▬trying to break the ice between them. The Prince scoffed softly and muttered, "Same."

    Silence fell once more. The Prince frowned down at his boots, choosing his next words carefully. He took a deep breath and looked up at Ronyn again. "You were right," he decided to say and Ronyn's smile fell, taken aback. "I ... my mind was clouded," continued the Prince, apologetic. "I was not thinking clearly. I let myself become ... confused and I took that out on you. You were simply trying to be a voice of reason. For that, I apologise."

    Ronyn appreciated it. He felt it swell with warmth in his chest, but he shrugged it off and smiled▬easily putting it behind him. He and Arthur had been through too much together to let this get between them. "Do not fret, Arthur. You can make it up to me."

    But Arthur wasn't finished. He faced his old friend. "When I am King," he said, confident in his words, "one day, I will be grateful to have you by my side, Lord Vecentia. Your advice is irreplaceable, your loyalty I am undeserving of, and your friendship ..." the Prince managed a small smile through the pain of today, "... I will always treasure."

    He held out his arm. "Thank you," he told him and Ronyn's eyes widened, having rarely heard those words from the Prince's lips. Then Arthur nodded and added, "Brother."

    Ronyn's face softened. He pursed his lips, trying hard not to get emotional. He sniffled and acted as if he was simply wiping some dust away from his nose. Before Arthur could tease him, he cleared his throat and clasped Arthur's arm firmly. His friend gripped his own, and they shook on it▬a promise not just as friends, but as brothers. 

    Then, Lord Vecentia decided this moment was worth Arthur's teasing and he tugged his friend closer. "Be a girl and give me a hug, you prat."

    Perhaps it was the day's events, or perhaps it was because Arthur, too, could appreciate this moment between them, alone, when no one else would see▬because he accepted the hug and wrestled Ronyn close. He clapped a mighty hand on his back, ready to pull away, but Ronyn held on. Arthur hesitated, but eventually, he relaxed. The two brothers, connected by something thicker than both water and blood combined, let themselves share each other's comfort in the warm embrace of the afternoon sun streaming through the window. 

    When Ronyn returned home, ready for some food and to sleep the rest of the day away, he was met with his manservant, Peter awkwardly hovering outside his study. Ronyn frowned and walked up to him. He was only a young teenager, fresh into the role after Ronyn's previous servant had to retire. Short and skinny for his age, he tugged at his tunic anxiously and shuffled in his scuffed boots.

    "What is it?" Ronyn asked him as he came to a stop outside his study, a little worried. 

    Peter glanced back at the ajar door to the study and then leaned closer to Ronyn. He answered in a fearful whisper, "The King is inside, My Lord."

    Ronyn stiffened. His gaze shot to the ajar study door, his heart twisting with his own fear. What could the King possibly want so much that he left the castle to come here?

    "Er▬go and grab some lunch from the kitchens," murmured Lord Vecentia to his servant. He had a feeling whatever conversation he was about to have with Uther Pendragon ought to be private. "I will see you back in my chambers."

    "Yes, My Lord," Peter was eager to get out of there▬he scurried down the corridor and disappeared in a few seconds flat. 

    Ronyn cleared his throat and straightened his shoulders, gently pushing open the door and stepping inside his study. The King was making himself at home, glancing at the many books on Ronyn's shelves, his papers and letters, and the book that was currently open on top of the entire mess that was his desk. At the sound of the door opening, Uther glanced up and Ronyn bowed.

   "Sire," he greeted, wary and confused. "What do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

    Uther picked up the book Lord Vecentia was currently reading and showed him the title, impressed. "The Odyssey," he mused. "An interesting choice."

    "The Roman Emperors of Constantinople declare it a must-read for a well-rounded education," said Ronyn, still watching the King's movement with all the tension he felt clasped tightly with his hands behind his back. "And I must admit, I am a fan of the old Greek epics▬there's always a lesson to be learnt."

    The King hummed, setting it back down. He rounded Ronyn's desk to approach him. Lord Vecentia bowed his head to make sure he didn't meet his gaze. "I wished to thank you in person for your actions earlier today. You have always been a loyal friend to Arthur, ever since you were boys. I am most grateful."

    Ronyn blinked, taken aback. He didn't know what to say to that▬or how he felt about being thanked by the King in person like this. Something felt amiss▬a feeling as though the words spoken between them here, in Ronyn's study, must be shrouded in secrecy. The uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach didn't settle. "As is tradition of our families, Your Majesty," he decided to say in the end, politely with a stiff smile. "I mean, Arthur did try to get rid of me when we were seven, but I managed to outsmart him and get out of the room he locked me in."    

    The King smiled to acknowledge Ronyn's humour, but he did not laugh. "Time and time again you have proven yourself to be a trusted ally and advisor to the crown, Lord Vecentia," he walked closer to him and Ronyn was surprised by his hand that came to rest on his shoulder. He glanced at it, and the uneasy feeling in his stomach only seemed to get worse. "As was your father▬You have grown into a man that parallels his wisdom, his honour and his integrity. He would be proud."

     Ronyn swallowed the bile that had risen in his throat. He felt sick, now. But he pushed through it to force a smile on his face and a grateful nod of his head. An old pain in his back where an old scar from the glass of his father's mirror that had shattered when he had been shoved up against it at twelve haunted him. "Thank you, Sire."

     "Those who practice magic," continued Uther Pendragon, letting go of his shoulder and fixing his vest, "will seek to exploit Arthur's inexperience▬They will attempt to corrupt him. I trust you will be his most trusted advisor and friend, Lord Ronyn, in the many years to come. And so, you must be extra vigilant."

     He nodded. "I agree," he decided it best to say. "And I promise you, Sire, I will always have Arthur's best interests at heart."

    "I have no doubt," smiled the King. He stepped back and Ronyn bowed once more, watching him pass him towards the door. However, the conversation between them wasn't finished▬Lord Vecentia could feel it hanging in the air; as if he had somehow caught a chill. 

     And then, just before he reached for the study door handle, the King spoke up. "If you ever speak  a word of what happened between myself and Arthur," Ronyn glanced around, his chest tightening at the subtle threat that seemed to snuff all air away from his lungs, "to another living soul, I will not hesitate to have you stripped of your land, your titles, and have you hanged."

     Lord Vecentia hitched his breath, and his mouth grew dry. He swallowed harshly and nodded, his heart starting to race at a terrifying pace. "Understood, Your Majesty," he croaked.

     "Have a good day, Ronyn," said the King before seeing himself out, leaving Ronyn standing chilled to the bone▬frozen in the middle of the chamber with his heart stuck in his throat.

    Because that was all it took for him to realise that it was true. The ghost of Ygraine Pendragon, the words she spoke, the story she told▬none of it had been an enchantment twisted from the magic on Morgause's tongue.

     Ronyn knew Uther Pendragon's darkest secret, and it was a death sentence that weighed heavy on his soul. 

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     a/n: suuuuper long chapter but sooo many important things!!!! 

    first point i wanna mention, i genuinely believe uther loved ygraine. but he is one of the most complicated characters ive seen, and its amazing to think that his character was on a bbc show, even if it wasn't fleshed out as much as it could have been, it was a gift to have anthony head portray uther, because i think he truly understood how conflicted, morally grey and beautifully complicated his character was - more than the writers did, and he showed that so well. uther loved ygraine, but legacy and camelot is incredibly important to him. to choose between his love for his wife, and his love for his kingdom was probably the hardest choice he ever had to make, and of course, he would choose his legacy and kindgom in the end, because after all he had done to fight and win back his father's (i canon this shhhh) legacy after vortigern, he wasn't prepared to have the pendragon dynasty end. that is the fault in his character, the emphasis he places on his legacy. i always argue that uther is a hufflepuff, because he does what he believes is just and right for camelot, which he's incredibly loyal to and his legacy (just because someone's a hufflepuff, doesn't mean their idea of what is just and honourable and their morals are inheritenly good/correct. thEY believe them to be, and that's what the key thing is). 

    second, the ACTING IN THIS EPISODE. Between colin, bradley and anthony i was in tears over that last scene. the way bradley shows how hard arthur is trying to NOT CRY and be seen as weak in front of his father to the point YOU SEE THE STRAIN in his face that it goes red i- his acting is so underrated. and colin. oh, god colin. He is one of the best actors of his generation and he deserves to be recognised as such. you can see the identity crisis merlin has with his magic, the pain and the way it literally kills him to say to arthur that the vision of his mother, and the words she spoke etc weren't real and blame it on magic and morgause just ... this episode broke me. 

     third, ronyn. just ronyn. this chapter was SUPER important for his character and its development. i won't explain too much, because spoilers, but these last few chapters was really eye-opening for ronyn. i also just loved delving into his and arthur's relationship this chapter after spending most of this act focusing on arthur and odette (which, of course, is in the title of the fanfic haha, we need to do so). one thing i love about act one is the fact that i had room to explore all of my characters and the canon characters individually in their development, relationships etc - at least more than i have been able to this act. being able to focus purely on ronyn (and a bit of merlin) this chapter, and his development/relationship/brotherhood with arthur was just so refreshing and i love doing this. i love his character it's so interesting to write and i missed focusing on him.

    arthur and ronyn are very special to me i just need to say. in the show, nearly everyone arthur meets that becomes his dear friend, knight etc he meets through merlin. ronyn is someone arthur has known without merlin (as well as odette <3), he is loyal to arthur from the get go and was the first to ever believe in him other than odette and i just ... i love them. (and ronyn believes in arthur without any idea of a destiny or whatever - he genuinely belives arthur will be a great king one day and aghhhhh).

    anyway, i will stop yapping because this chapter is already crazy long and i've somehow yapped to nearly 12800 words lol. happy holidays and new year everyone!!!!

    (minimal editing).