chapter thirty-seven!
037. what comes with winter?

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    THE NIGHT DAWNED closer to the unprecedented morning. Merlin could not sleep, even if he wanted to. He clutched onto the rabbit foot Gaius had given him in the dying candle light with a trembling grip, somehow praying to his Lord, or the gods of the old Religion▬whoever that may listen▬to grant another miracle. No matter his courage and his determination, Merlin found himself terrified as his final moments left him. He was scared of what awaited him after ... but he was more scared of who he was going to leave behind. Arthur, Gaius, Guinevere, Ronyn, Odette ... his mother ... all those he had promised to protect. 

    He wanted to cry. His destiny had led him to this▬his end was prophesied before he even first opened his eyes. Merlin had no choice to follow this path, and he had to accept that fate because there was no one else who would. His death would not be remembered in the annuals and epics of Kings▬his sacrifice would be forgotten as soon as the next sunrise, and everyone will remember how Arthur survived. They would wonder how and bless their miracles, unbeknownst to the seventeen-year-old boy who had given everything to make sure that they could. 

    Merlin ran his fingers along the old rabbit fur, trying to keep himself calm. He wondered how it would hit him. Would he feel it? Would it be pleasant? Would he drift off in exhaustion and not then wake up? Or would it be ruthless▬a price for playing with life and death?

    He glanced out of the window at the night; the moon shone back at him. Maybe he will live in the Moon▬that was where he felt like he'd want to go when he died. He will be the Man on the Moon, watching over everyone still alive during the darkest of nights. 

    Merlin pursed his lips and looked back down at the rabbit foot. He continued to think of all those he will leave behind without a proper goodbye. His friends, his family▬and those who he will see again when the time comes. But there was one that suddenly struck him, and stayed there in the forefront of his mind. 

    He took a deep breath. He hadn't spoken▬let alone seen▬her since he snapped in his frustration back at those gardens. He did not whisper to her in his mind to express how he was sorry▬that he did not mean to get mad at her. But now, Merlin was afraid she didn't want to talk to him, either. 

    For some reason, the thought of leaving the Lady Adelynn alone made his tongue dry. It made him feel as if he was betraying some connection between them▬some responsibility he had placed on himself to make sure Ronyn's sister never felt the way he did about magic. To make sure she wasn't alone, that she didn't look in a mirror and see a monster▬to have someone to tell her that her powers were a gift ... for all that he said and thought of himself, he stepped up and told her the opposite▬so much that he had started to believe his words whenever he looked at himself in the mirror. 

    He didn't even know whether she will care if he didn't wake up on the morrow▬whether their strange connection was even a friendship; he, a lowly servant and she, the younger sister of a prestigious Lord. It almost seemed arrogant of him to even think of it like that. But he had been so happy to find someone like him▬to have someone to talk to, to show his magic to ... to not feel so alone in a world that hated people like him. 

    The Great Dragon had told him it was his responsibility to help her▬that apparently it was destiny that Merlin was to run paths with the Lady Adelynn Vecentia, but he liked to think that destiny had nothing to do with it. 

    Merlin fiddled with the rabbit foot▬he turned it over and over in his fingers until he made the decision and closed his eyes. He searched his mind to murmur: Adelynn? 

    He did not receive a reply, but he tried again: Adelynn?

    Merlin frowned when all he heard was silence. He glanced at his door, down to the rabbit foot and then back out towards the night. The young sorcerer to another deep breath before he stood up. Not even grabbing his scarf or jacket for warmth, he left his chambers and snuck out. 

    In the final few moments of his life, Merlin Wyllt sought out Adelynn Vecentia. And even if she did not reply to him, it was as if he knew she was awake▬sitting at the edge of her window and gazing out into the garden, alone and pondering. 

    She kept a candle lit with her, but she did not read nor did she draw. The young, Miss Adelynn held it with a breathless prayer for the Prince. The court had been gathered▬and it meant that her brother left for the castle, and she knew it had something to do with the Prince: one way, or the other. And right now, she begged the power of the heavens, or even the power of her own magic, to hear news that Arthur was alive. When she finished her prayer to the Mother Mary, finding comfort to think that her mother's love would be more powerful than any Father, Adelynn blew out her candle. A chilling thought ran over her as the smoke drifted away at her breath: would her God love her still? She who had magic? Would he look at her like a curse? 

    Her mother told her that He loved everyone, and yet they cursed and they burned those with magic to make sure that their sins would be repented. Adelynn set aside her beads onto her table, not even sure what she believed nowadays. 

    It was then that she heard the knock on her door. 

   Thinking it would be Ronyn, she was on her feet in moments. She rushed to open it, only to falter when the person she saw on the other end was the last she'd expect.

    Adelynn had a brief moment of memory where she had been in this position before, gazing at Merlin through her ajar door. 

    Surprised, it took her a second to say something. A breath of anger flooded her chest▬though the look on his face made her push it down. "Merlin," she greeted softly. "What are you doing here?"

    The sorcerer held his breath until he murmured, "My Lady ... can▬can I come in?"

    Adelynn pursed her lips. Then, she nodded and stepped aside, letting the servant enter her chambers. She closed the door after him. "Did you use magic to sneak in again this time?"

    His silence told her every answer▬he did. 

    He stopped by the centre of her room, standing still and rigid▬not at all sure where he could go or what to do. Adelynn turned to him, "You wish to speak to me again, is that it?" that anger returning, she scoffed and marched past him to grab her knitted shawl. "Strange▬you seemed to have made it abundantly clear where either of us stand."

    Merlin frowned at her, "That was not▬" he cut himself off at the look she sent him as she wrapped the shawl tight around her shoulders. It was piercing▬pointed and stern. 

    "I may not be a servant," continued Miss Adelynn Vecentia in a flushed hurry to get all of what she has been mulling over out at once, "but that does not mean I do not have some understanding of what it is like not to have a say about anything in my life. My money is all I am worth▬and it is not even my own, it is my brothers. And one day, it will be my husbands▬so do not tell me I do not understand what being worthless is like."

    He swallowed harshly and looked down. Adelynn continued to scowl at him▬she started to notice how unkept he looked. It wasn't Merlin to be tidy, at all▬his jacket dusty, his boot laces untied and his belt uneven: but he had not even fixed his scarf around his neck to keep himself warm. He had come to her as he was without a second thought. 

    "I am sorry," mumbled Merlin. 

    Adelynn took a deep breath and nodded, satisfied to hear him say it. They stood there in a long silence. When Merlin didn't move, she frowned once again, "Is that all you have come to say?"

    "No," he said quickly. 

    "Then what?"

    "I▬" he stopped himself. Merlin chewed at the inside of his cheek, unsure on how to tell her. Or what he wanted to tell her, even. "Arthur lives."

    Her bitterness lifted. Adelynn's eyes widened, and then she breathed a small smile. "Really?" she let out. Merlin nodded. 

    Then he hung his head again. He clenched his hands and then said to her, "I ... I traded my life for his."

    Her smile fell. Adelynn▬at first▬wondered whether she had heard him right. But then she saw the way he took a sharp breath through his nose to keep a brave face, and she realised he was telling her the truth. "What?" she whispered, shocked. Even still, she waited for him to tell her he was joking▬and what a horrible, absurd and evil joke it would be. 

    Merlin fought back tears, "To ... to save a life, one must be taken in return▬to▬to return balance to magic▬"

    "You're dying?" choked Adelynn, growing horrified. 

    He refused to meet her gaze. He looked down at his boots. "It▬it is my destiny to protect Arthur. If I have to die so he can live, then that is what I have to do. His life is worth▬"

    "Do not say that!" the young Vecentia grew emotional, not sure whether she hated Merlin for telling her this or was terrified. "You cannot just say that▬just throw your life out there like it means nothing!"

    "It is for something!" Merlin argued, though his voice broke▬terrified and pained. "My life is for something▬for a future that needs to happen. Arthur will lead that future and I need to make sure he survives▬"

    "Who tells you this?!" cried Adelynn, stepping closer to him. "Who tells you that someone else's life is more important than your own that you have done this? Destiny?" she scoffed, shaking her head. "You made Destiny sound so great but you know what? Destiny is a fool! We have to be the ones that make our own destiny▬no one should tell us how we do that!"

    Merlin shook his head, too, swallowing his tears. He did not say anything to that. "We cannot choose our destiny ... we cannot escape it."

    "To hell with that," seethed Adelynn. After that, they fell silent once again. She blinked back her own tears and hugged her shawl tighter. 

     Adelynn has quickly learnt that she didn't like Fate and Destiny. People had tried to tell her that they were good▬that great people were destined were great things. That she might be, as well. And their words were pretty and they were idealised▬but here, she saw the horrible, ugly truth. Either Fate decreed her to be nothing more than something to be sold. To be married and to live away from her home. It told her that one day, she was destined for a dark and corrupted heart because of her magic, and to then be burnt at the stake for something she could not control. Or it told her that she must use it for good, for someone else's life and not for herself. 

    She hated Destiny. She hated hope and she hated prophecies. Adelynn wanted her own life▬she wanted to be able to control her own decisions believing that she will be the one that forges her own pathway. She hated to see Destiny grapple the life of Merlin's and making him think that he could not make choices for himself. Perhaps it was her final straw. 

    Because she had been alone, and she had been scared▬until she met Merlin. And now, Destiny decided to take him away, and she will alone once more. 

    Realising she wouldn't say anything else, and nothing he will say would make her support his choice▬and whether deep down he wanted her to▬Merlin sighed and turned to leave. 

    Adelynn didn't know what made her reach out to stop him. But soon, her hand clasped tight around his wrist, halting him in his path. "Merlin, wait▬" she blurted out. 

    He glanced back, meeting her gaze immediately. Breath hitched, he waited for her to continue. 

   She swallowed the lump in her throat. Adelynn didn't know what she wanted to say▬she just knew she didn't want him to go. Because if he went, then this would be the last time she ever saw him; spoke to him. She didn't want to lose the only real friend she seemed to have found. So, she supposed, all she could say was that: "Do not go, please. You ... you are my friend, Merlin."

    They both knew that the deal had already been struck. There was nothing Adelynn could do to stop that. Merlin took a shaky breath. "Thank you, My Lady," he decided to say. "For not making me feel so alone."

    And then he left. 

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    THE NEXT morning, Merlin found himself slowly waking up. He frowned, having not realised he had even fallen asleep until he felt his fingers twitch against the rabbit foot still clutched in his palm. He took a breath▬it hitched and his eyes flung open. He sat up so quickly he almost doubled over and passed out. He breathed a few more times▬he felt his heart pounding against his chest. He glanced around and noticed the sunlight glare down at him from his open window▬a new day. A new day, and he was alive. 

    Merlin shook as he got to his feet. He could stand, he could breathe, his heart leapt with a fresh start to life▬he glanced down at the rabbit foot and he held it tight. Perhaps that night, there had been something protecting him. Merlin started to smile, more than relieved. "Gaius!" he didn't know how it had happened, but he didn't stop to question it. He raced out of his chambers, beyond happy. "Gaius!" he cried. "I'm alive...!"

    He stopped. Merlin frowned to see Gaius on his knees. He hunched over a figure sprawled out on the cold, stone floor. A figure in a faded, red cloak and umber dress▬she barely moved; if at all. Merlin couldn't see her face, but his stomach dropped nonetheless. "Gaius?" he muttered, the excitement gone. The physician didn't respond. 

    Merlin wandered over, "Gaius, what is it▬?"

    "Merlin, stay there▬!" Gaius suddenly told him, throwing a hand out but he was too late. Merlin stepped around his attempt to stop him▬

    Merlin's heart may as well have stopped. He staggered, something horrible retching up inside of him the moment he saw her. Her face covered in boils and bruises▬the skin of her neck, arms and hands no better. She wheezed a terrible sound; she trembled, barely able to move▬as if stuck in an unbreakable, frozen moment of pain. 

    The young warlock's knees quivered, "M▬Mother!"

     He dropped to them, clutching at her shoulder as his throat started to close up. At the sound of his voice, his mother's eyes fluttered open▬she could not turn her head to face him. "Merlin..." she rasped. 

    Merlin started to cry. He didn't know what to do▬how to help her. She was burning up, she was in pain▬his mother. The only family he had for most of his life. "W▬what has happened to her?"

    Gaius was hesitant in telling him: "She is gravely ill▬"

    "Do something!" cried the warlock, feeling himself powerless▬even with all his magic. 

    "If I could!"

    "Please, Gaius!"

    "Merlin▬" the physician grasped his shoulder as well, trying to console his growing hysteric, "▬this is no ordinary illness."

    He shook his head. He hiccuped back a heart-wrenching sob. "This▬" Merlin's voice broke, "▬this cannot happen."

    A horrible thought struck Gaius. His next words were an anxious whisper: "Who did you meet at the Isle of the Blessed?"

    "Nimueh."

    "Nimueh?"

    "It was as you said," whimpered Merlin miserably, "she▬she demanded a price. But I bargained my life, not my mother's!"

    Gaius faltered. Then, he hung his head and sighed, "Merlin..." with all the grief he held. "I wish ... I wish there was something I could do..."

    The tears burned against Merlin's cheeks, but when he looked up there was nothing else but a gleam of furious revenge in the sapphire of his stare. No, Gaius could not do anything▬but there was a creature in the depths of this castle that could. A creature that led him to make this decision in the first place▬who knew exactly how Nimueh's deal would play out; just like he did everything else. 

    The Great Dragon. 

    Merlin tasted murder on his tongue. He glanced back down at his mother and took her blistered hand. "I will make you better," he promised her. "I will."

    He stood up and marched out of the door. He did not answer Gaius's demand of where he was going▬he was on a mission, and there was someone at the end of it that was going to regret ever messing with him in this way. 

    The Great Dragon was waiting for him in his dark and cold prison. He was not surprised to see Merlin▬alive and furious. When Merlin made it to the cavernous dungeon where the King kept his prized creature trapped, the warlock seethed to see the beast so calm; gazing down at him through one, ancient eye▬cunning, sly and a liar. 

    There was nothing great about this dragon, not anymore. Merlin glowered up at the towering creature and felt nothing but disgust. "You knew this would happen!" he shouted, brandishing his torch high up towards the dragon's snout. "You had me trade my mother's life for Arthur's!" 

    The Great Dragon huffed at his tone. He leaned his long neck downwards, holding no fear over the small, puny warlock at his feet. "You said you would do anything," he answered simply. 

    Merlin scoffed and shook his head. "Did you know my mother would die?"

    "I knew the price would be a heavy one."

    His jaw clenched▬he felt his teeth grind together. "But you sent me anyway," muttered Merlin darkly. 

    The dragon narrowed his eyes at this. Leaning forward further, he snarled. "We need Arthur to live▬"

    This caused Merlin to snap: "I AM NOT ONE OF YOU!"

    "We are both creatures of the Old Religion," said the Great Dragon angrily. "It is the source of your power."

    "What is that supposed to mean?"

    "Your destiny is to protect the young Pendragon until he claims his crown. And when he does, magic can be returned to the realm. Only then will I be free."

    And suddenly, it all started to make sense. Finally, did Merlin understand what this ancient beast wanted▬all along. Why he had found Merlin in the first place, why he went out of his way to help. It wasn't for Merlin, it wasn't for Arthur▬or for this supposed future he will create. It wasn't for Albion, or for magic ... the Great Dragon did all of this to help no one other than himself. 

    The sound of Merlin's chuckle was chilling. It echoed, low, in the cavern walls. "So," he said after a short while, his tone deadly, "that is all you cared about? I thought you were my friend."

    "I am more than that, Merlin," said the Great Dragon. "I am your Kin."

    Merlin clenched his hands. He set his jaw. "No," he told the ancient beast. The Great Dragon blinked, surprised. "The only family I have is my mother▬and you had me murder her."

    "Her life has not been taken in vain. We will achieve great things together, you and I▬"

    "YOU WILL NEVER BE RELEASED!" cried Merlin, his voice cracking in a boiling fit of fury. "For what you have done▬" he hitched a sob, but his promise had settled in the foundations of this prison▬fused and melted with the chains at the dragon's feet. "I will make sure you never see the light."

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    MERLIN KNEW what he needed to do. It had been what he had planned to do▬what was meant to happen in the first place. To save Arthur's life, Nimueh was supposed to take Merlin's own, never his mother's. Yet, magic had played a dangerous game with him▬he refused to let it win. He will command it to do what he wanted it to do. Which meant, Merlin would have to leave all over again▬his goodbye's felt more concrete now; whimsical and subtle, but he knew that when he left this time, he would not return to see them again. Nothing mattered: not his destiny, not the future▬not when his mother was dying because of it. 

    But even if he thought already saying goodbye once would make it easier the next time, instead, it felt much harder. Maybe because last time, he didn't have to say goodbye to Arthur. Now, wishing the Prince farewell, was perhaps one of the things that ripped his chest in two. 

    How far they have come, Merlin mused as he knocked on the door of his master's chambers. Since all of this started. 

    He stepped inside to find Arthur pouring himself a drink in the candlelight. He was much better to be standing and moving his free arm on his own. The colour had returned to his face and so did some of the determination in his eyes. He still had his left arm tight in a sling as he continued to recover▬but remarkable, it was almost as if every trace of wound had disappeared from the Prince overnight. 

    (Almost like magic...)

    (Merlin couldn't find humour in his joke).

    "Ah," the Prince let out, pleasantly surprised. There was a genuine tone to his voice that Merlin didn't expect. Arthur was in good spirits. "Merlin."

    Merlin swallowed back the lump in his throat as he closed the door. "How are you?" he asked.

    Arthur quirked a brow and took some grapes from his table. "Good," he decided to say. 

    "I'm pleased."

    The Prince frowned at him momentarily, throwing the grape in his mouth and taking a seat at the head of his table. He picked up his goblet and took a sip. "Yes. And I owe it all to Gaius▬" Merlin breathed a slight bitter chuckle to himself that Arthur did not catch, "▬and Odette, of course. She helped."

    Merlin's brows shot up, not expecting that, either. "Odette?" he echoed, confused. "Odette, Odette?"

    Arthur made a face, incredulous. "Unless you are aware of another Odette? Though, pray to God I hope there is not another, one Odette is enough."

    "No, no," he shook his head, this strange intrigue hitting him. "It is just▬is that a compliment to her?"

    The Prince rolled his eyes. "Do not tell her whatever you do," he gestured his goblet towards his manservant. "I will never hear the end of it."

    Merlin frowned at him for a moment longer▬then he felt this heartbreaking ache to realise that he won't be seeing Odette again to pass the compliment on. It made him switch the subject very quickly. "I need to talk to you."

    Arthur was dubious▬he hid the amused smirk on his face well. "You still have not gotten it yet, have you?" he chided his servant lightly. "I decide when we need to talk."

    "Not today."

    The Prince set down his drink, eyeing Merlin with fresh incredulity. He then scoffed, "I sometimes wonder if you know who I am."

    Merlin chuckled at that, and Arthur did not recognise the breath of sadness he held. "Oh▬" the warlock approached him slowly, "▬I know who you are."

    "Good."

    "You're a prat."

    Arthur sat back, dead-panned at the comment. Merlin's lips tugged into a small, genuine smile as he added: "And a royal one."

    He stared at him for a moment. But then, the realisation stuck him. The Prince scoffed a light-hearted chuckle and shook his head. He shifted in his seat, massaging a distant ache in his shoulder. Almost as if he was off in thought, Arthur Pendragon murmured a question that while it seemed to hold an air of exasperation, was spoken with nothing but endearment: "Are you ever going to change, Merlin?"

    "No," said Merlin immediately. "You would get bored. But ... But promise me this: if you get another servant do not get a bootlicker."

    Arthur frowned, taken aback. "If this is you trying to leave your job▬?"

    "No."

    The Prince's frown lifted into a soft gaze onto his manservant who cut him off with strong assurance. He shook his head. "No," said Merlin again. "I am happy to be your servant ..." he pushed back tears, speaking a truth much more sudden than Arthur will ever know, "... until the day I die."

    And Arthur's tense, rigid stance fell when he realised that Merlin meant it. 

    He pursed his lips and looked away. "Sometimes, I think I know you, Merlin." Arthur bounced his brows, quickly back-tracking onto a joke: "Other times▬"

    "Well, I know you," said Merlin. "You are a great warrior. One day, you will be a great King."

    Taken aback, the Prince muttered: "That is very kind of you."

    "But you must learn to listen as well as you fight."

    Arthur rolled his eyes, the sentiment gone. "Any other pointers?" he grumbled sarcastically.

    "No," Merlin shook his head. He fought back his sudden need to cry. Arthur noticed. His annoyance lifted momentarily to release a breath of concern, wondering what was going through the mind of his young manservant. "That's it."

    The young warlock set his jaw with subtle determination and looked the young prince in the eye for some final words of wisdom: "Just ... don't be a prat."

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    WHEN ODETTE FOUND out that Merlin's mother had fallen gravely ill, she had rushed to the physician's chambers to help. The sight that she saw rattled her bones. She knew, the moment that her eyes fixed on the blisters and boils on Hunith's skin and heard the rasp in her breath, that not even all the miracles in the world could save her life. When Odette sat at her bedside, aiding Gaius as he went to gather some supplies, she felt as though she had taken a long step back in time. She was that scared, young girl once again▬at her dying mother's bedside, and she soon realised that she never stopped being that girl. So scared of losing someone, of her world turning further upside down▬of anybody else's life going horrible ... that she had lied to herself again and again and again, forced herself and others to be so ignorant in hopes that that would stop things such as this from ever happening again. 

    She tried to keep Hunith's fever cool, easing her in her sleep▬but Odette shed a tear nonetheless, gazing out the window and knowing, deep down, the rising sun would not bring a miracle this time.

    More than once has the sun betrayed her▬has gone against all she believed it was supposed to do. Instead of bringing happiness and a new day, it had brought death. Odette grew uneasy anytime she wondered whether she had always given it too much credit▬that every word, every glance, every breath of  hope ... she was living a lie. Perhaps she knew that all along, for when did she stop gazing at the sun and instead started to gaze at someone else?

    Odette glanced over when the door to Merlin's chambers creaked open. She let out a sad breath seeing him take a hesitant step inside. His brows lifted, confused for a moment▬and yet also relieved to see her there. "Odette?"

    She managed a sad smile. "Gaius had to go and get some supplies▬" she reached out to brush some of his mother's hair off her face and place the rag back onto her forehead. "He asked me to keep an eye on her until you got back."

    Merlin hovered by the open door, frowning at her with this strange look in his eye. Then, he whispered: "Thank you▬" and the words sounded stuck in the back of his throat. 

    Odette nodded. She took a deep breath and set the rag back beside the bowl of water she brought with her. Squeezing Hunith's arm gently, she stood up and made her way over to where Merlin stood. Feeling a heavy heart full of understanding▬of knowing exactly what he was feeling right now, she croaked an all-knowing: "I am so sorry..."

    "No," Merlin shook his head, determined. "No, she will get better."

    The young maidservant stammered, not expecting him to sound so sure. But then again, perhaps she had been the same. And maybe it was a blessing, in a way, to at least have one person faithful in the sun during this bleak evening. Odette stepped closer and took her dearest friend's hand. "I have tried to make her more comfortable. Your mother is strong."

    Merlin managed a little, heartbroken smile. He pushed back tears and squeezed her hand. "You have such a good heart, Odette," he told her. "Promise me you will never lose that. Everyone might not deserve, but needs a heart such as yours in their life."

    Her gaze softened. Odette didn't know what to say to that, so she didn't say anything. Instead, she nodded and matched his smile. She squeezed his hand one final time before letting go, leaving him alone with his dying mother. 

    She still worked very late into the night. There was an incident in the kitchens that while Odette had finished her duties with Morgana, had offered a hand to help to clean after the young serving girl twisted her ankle from trying to hold too many platters for her mistresses's dinner. After that, she had taken the dinner to the lady in the far west chambers, and copped a scolding for being so late▬but Odette knew her receiving a growing bruise on her cheek was far better than the young girl. She took it gladly. 

    Odette finally started to make her way towards the servants' quarters to sleep for the night. As she did, she wandered these castle corridors with a breath of nostalgic memory. She remembered running with short legs after long ones, laughing with delight when she sped around the corner so fast, she nearly skidded into the adjacent wall. Until she caught up to the boys in front of her and celebrated her victory that now, she was sure they let happen, with smacking their shoulders with her wooden sword▬having to rise up onto her toes to do so. 

    Those days where the late Lord Vecentia would travel to his outer lands, the King would be taking patrols or Odette's mother was busy tending to the Lady Elayne and her newborn ... they were the days adventure was alive throughout the many twists and turns of this castle. Those were the days of her childhood▬and perhaps that childhood left her far too soon. 

    Stepping inside, Odette winced a little at the pain under her eye. She yawned and pulled off her kirtle, throwing it over the back of the bed when she noticed something sitting on the centre of the table beside. Odette frowned, realising as she got closer that it looked to be a letter▬with cursive written on the front of folded parchment addressed to her. 

    For this moment▬a very naive moment▬Odette thought, no, hoped that the letter was from Arthur. That despite what must separate them, he had come all the same. That after the kiss they shared that she knew will never happen again, but left her unable to ever forget it and wishing she could, that he felt the same. That maybe there was a time he promised like in a fairytale▬some showcase of gifts and honours, the presents honourable knights give ladies of the court ... except Odette was far from ever being a lady. 

    She knew it wouldn't be him, but her lips tingled with the feeling of his just at the very thought that in some other world, perhaps it could've. 

    Odette picked up the parchment in her fingers and opened it up, sitting down with a deep frown on her face as she concentrated hard to read it:

    Dear Odette,

    Much has happened in just the past few days. Not all I will be able to explain in words. But what you must know is that Merlin has placed himself in a precarious situation, and I cannot allow him to follow through with it. 

    He is prepared to sacrifice his life, and I know you will understand that Merlin's life has not supposed to meet it's end yet. Mine, however, has always been coming closer. Now, maybe it has finally arrived. And for the most part, my life has meant very little. I have always just been a physician. A man who must always think of himself before others, which holds an irony I have yet to fully understand. 

    But I have started. Because nearly eighteen years ago, there was this storm. This great, horrible storm that devastated the city of Camelot and its outlining regions. Many people died that night. Many more were injured. And yet, when morning finally came, Ivette came to me with words of nothing else if not a miracle. She had found a newborn babe, just weeks old, amongst the very horror of the storm. This babe had somehow survived, and even when she thought she would not make it through the night, I saw this young girl that morning, and was stunned to find that not even a fever had touched her. That newborn child was you. 

     I do not believe in many things know not to be true. But I have faith that the hope you search for, Odette▬the miracles, the promises and the bright future, the sunrise is not made of it. I believe that you are. There is magic about you, Odette. The special, intangible kind. And it makes me sure that you are meant for things far greater than what life has given you so far. I know you will find it, and when you do, I pray to God that finally, you will be given peace. 

     I have been given a gift in itself to be apart of your life so far. To be your teacher, your friend and counsellor. I have watched you grow into a wise, genuine and wonderful young lady and I know you will continue to grow. And I am grateful that you and Merlin have both taught me the feeling of a must to always put someone else first▬to, for once, not turn a blind eye. 

    You and Merlin have become, and always will be, the children I never had. 

    All the best wishes, and blessings for your future.

        Gaius.

    The letter slowly slipped from her fingers, but her heart had hit the floor long before the parchment gently touched the stone at her feet. Odette had this horrible, horrible feeling▬such a feeling that left her breathless and numb as she understood what Gaius's letter meant. Tears welled up in her gaze before she even noticed the ache in her throat. She spun on her heel and left the letter there, forgotten and still in the dust-heavy room. Odette hitched back her cries as she ran fast▬very fast▬back towards the Court Physician's chambers. She didn't know what she'll be met with, now, but when Gaius told her he was gathering herbs, there was nothing about it that Odette should have considered abnormal▬nothing that gave her the need to stop him. 

    And now▬was it too late?

    She reached the chambers and pushed open the already ajar door with a fierce strength. It was then, that her tears started to flood down her cheeks, finding Merlin standing in the centre of the room. The parchment he held with a quivering clench of his fingers told Odette that he was reading the letter Gaius had written him, too. 

    And suddenly, Odette was met with a burst of fury. "What did you do?" she demanded loudly, marching up to Merlin and unable to stop herself from shoving him in the chest. He stumbled back, surprised and shocked by her anger. He met her gaze, having not known she had entered at all. Odette hitched back a sob and shoved him again, crying out: "What did you do?!" 

    Merlin dropped the letter and was trying very hard not to cry, too. "O▬Odette▬" he desperately fought to grab her wrists before they'd hit him again. He gripped them with a strength she struggled against.

    "Why must you do this?!" she sobbed, still fighting. "What have you done, Merlin?! Gaius has left because of it! He is in danger because of it▬!"

    "▬Odette▬!"

    "▬You did not tell me!" she gave a final, weak push, unable to struggle any longer. Instead, she slumped and pleaded with Merlin, terrified and upset. "Why did you not tell me?"

    "I couldn't!" admitted Merlin in misery, tearful as he slumped towards her, too. "I could not face it▬It was too ... it was too▬I could not say goodbye."

    "You would sacrifice yourself?" hiccuped Odette, hysterical. "For what? For what, Merlin?!"

    "For my mother!" said the young warlock. "For Arthur▬for▬for▬for the future he will create and I am supposed to protect▬"

    "Now Gaius is sacrificing himself for you," Odette managed to pry her hands away. "He is gone! He is gone, Merlin and he will not come back! He▬he has left!"

    Merlin stepped back. He was breathing very heavily. He glanced down at the parchment letter, back towards his chambers and then finally returning his gaze to her. His jaw set and his stare darkened. He clenched his hands and nodded, knowing what he must do. "I will fix it," he told her. "I will fix this, I promise!"

    He started off and Odette lurched forwards to catch up. "Let me come!" she pleaded.

    "No▬" he spun to her at the door. She skidded to a stop, confused. "I know where Gaius is, and it is too dangerous. This is my destiny, this is my mistake▬I must be the one to fix it."

    He ran away and Odette watched him go. She took a deep breath and wanted to scream. Tugging at her hair, the young handmaiden turned and kicked the edge of the table bench. She then sat down on it, her head falling into her hands and her toes throbbing. Odette had never felt more helpless as she sat, unable to do anything▬

    And she has never felt the need more than to fight Fate's decision. 

     Yet, she still sat there. She sat there, and Odette did not move. Not once.

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    SHE WAS still there when the sun rose over the turrets of the castle. Camelot open her eyes to the dawn of a new day▬the dawn of winter. And as if the heavens knew, the wind picked up a sudden chill that drifted into the cracks of the stone▬a draft ticked at Odette's ankles, but that was not what woke her. She had not realised she had fallen asleep until the gentle touch of a hand against her head coaxed her eyes to open. Once they did, no one▬not a summer day, nor a spring sunrise, or even a beautiful, winter blossom could compete with the smile that brightened every shadowed crevice on Odette's face. 

    Odette Mason breathed a relieved cry, breaking down immediately into tears when she saw Gaius smile back at her. Leaping up onto her feet, she threw her arms around the physician's shoulders, clinging on tight▬and she wept with nothing but joy. "Gaius!" she exclaimed through her sobs and he chuckled a tired breath, squeezing her and rocking her slightly. Odette closed her eyes and relaxed, feeling a sudden warmth amongst the winter chill▬the sunrise comforted her. It reminded her that it was still there, and it asked for forgiveness for all it has done to her recently. And with Gaius back, Odette realised that there were things that her sunrise couldn't always give her▬but what was most important? What she loved and cherished? This time, her sunrise decided no. No, she will not lose someone else, not today. 

    She lifted her head to see Merlin meet her stare from over Gaius's shoulder. He looked tired and beaten and distant▬but when she smiled at him, he managed to return one of his own. 

    Odette then pulled away and cried out. "Seriously?!" her voice caused them both to jump. "What is it with either of you and not telling me anything?! Both of you could have died!"

    But surprisingly, no matter her scowl and her attempt to be very angry with her hands propped on her hips, Merlin couldn't stop the giggle that burst from his lips. That giggle turned into a chuckle, and then Gaius breathed one of his own▬soon, they were both laughing and then Odette slumped. She chuckled, too, her hand flying to her forehead. Relieved, safe, alive and happy that they were home▬with each other in this little nook in this little tower in the vast castle around them▬three alone individuals who had found another family within each other, laughed. 

    They laughed, and they laughed, and they hugged once more. For everything worked out▬they had found a happy ending for as long as the world would give it to them. And they broke their fast with Merlin's mother whose health miraculously returned, better than ever ...

    And everything was exactly how Odette believed home should be like. 

    But in a home not far away, within rigid stone walls in the Upper Town, the young Miss Adelynn Vecentia woke up to the very young morning as well. However, the gentle breath Odette held was not shared. There were whispers in Adelynn's ears▬so many whispers. Voices deep and low, high and loud▬they egged her on, breathed her name and hissed in her ears. 

    Adelynn.

    They sent chills down her spine and caused her to jolt up in her bed with a horrified start. 

    She hitched her breath to stop her scream, feeling this sudden drop of heat in her body. She was freezing▬so freezing, like she had just stepped into a room full of snow and ice. Adelynn glanced around, still breathing very heavily. She pulled her covers up to her chin, shivering by her pillows. 

    They were not the voices she has heard before. They were not with smiles and comforting her when she was trembling, terrified and hiding under her blankets to shut out the yells of her parents. They were not Merlin greeting her in the middle of the night nor were they her own, trying to coax good dreams. They were like teeth grating; nails scratching ... as if demons were in her shadows. 

    Adelynn, they called again. A sick, deadly siren song that echoed all around her▬whistling with the winter wind that drifted through her ajar window. 

    She closed her eyes, forcing them away. She tried to tell herself that this wasn't some estranged magic, but just the wind playing tricks and teasing her. But when they did not stop and the wind raged into her room, Adelynn forced the courage to pull her blankets away and march up to her window. She slammed it closed and locked it.

    And for a moment, there was blissful silence. 

    But then she made the mistake of glancing up. 

    It took everything in her not to scream. And perhaps the shock of it kept the shriek locked in the back of her throat▬but Adelynn stared, frozen in terror to see a face that was not her own staring back at her in the glass of her window. The figure of a woman's face shifted in the wind▬almost as if it wasn't truly there. A hauntingly beautiful, ghostly face with long dark hair and a cheeks the colour of winter snow. 

    Beware, said the woman in Adelynn's mind.

    She gasped and spun around, expecting to see the intruder standing there in her room ... 

    But there was no one in sight. 

    Adelynn was alone. 

END OF ACT ONE

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    a/n: what an anti-climactic ending to the first part of this book I'm so sorry. but season 1 of merlin is like so anti-climactic in comparison to the rest of the show, so ...

     oh, my god.

    season two next. so much introductory stuff is over - we're getting into the real shit soon!!!!! *screams with excitement*

    I have so much planned. so, so, so, so, so much planned like u have no idea- (like wtf adelynn what is happening to u?)

    I like gave up halfway thru season 2 in my last Arthur fic so we will get through season 2 this time! we will finish this fic I am DETERMINED-

    ACT TWO PREDICTIONS HERE:

   also, favourite moment from act one? share here <333: