chapter thirty-four!
034. in order to kill a king

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

    THAT EVENING, Guinevere decided to make her way back home. Merlin was hesitant▬he could only just begin to understand what she was going through, but even then, he was sure that heading back into that house, alone, worried him. He was scared that it would hit her too hard. Only just two days ago, her father was smiling and laughing under that roof. Now, Guinevere would step inside an echoing silence within those four walls. But she insisted. Merlin supposed she wanted to keep moving▬to keep her mind occupied. "I must clean and gather the dresses from the line," she had said to him in the quiet, timid voice she had recently▬sounding as if she wasn't entirely there as she took the basket of food Adelynn had left for her. 

    He wasn't the only one who was concerned. Merlin hadn't been too surprised to find Ronyn hovering. He had found some excuse to Gaius that he was growing a fever, but they both knew he had wanted to see Gwen off. Merlin kept quiet▬it was strange of him to do so, but he knew it was the best. Just one glance at the Lord Vecentia and he understood how he felt about the Lady Morgana's first handmaiden. Instead of sending him off on his way, Merlin gave him a soothing concoction Gaius kept for mild fevers that wouldn't do any harm and whispered his unsure mutterings about Gwen's state. 

    Despite it, Merlin felt a little better knowing that Ronyn had listened▬that he was determined to keep an eye on her. Even if he could not escort her himself, the Lord Vecentia reassured Merlin that he will do the best he can to make sure she wouldn't be entirely alone if something happened. 

    Truth was, none of them knew what was going to happen, now. 

    Merlin stayed up late that evening after Ronyn took his leave, feeling this familiar emptiness▬he couldn't help but be reminded of Will. It struck him painfully all over again, and he could not close his eyes without seeing his childhood friend stare back at him, terrified and crying▬pleading to Merlin to help him: Merlin, I'm scared, Will was saying to him once more.

    Something else weighed down on that emptiness in his chest as he lied awake in bed: the realisation that Tom the blacksmith truly was dead. He would not wake up the next morning and find him wandering with his wagon of metal scraps back to his forge, greeting everybody passing by with a bright smile. It was a moment that almost stunned him▬made him winded. 

    Because things like this▬losing people like Tom ... like Will ... it made Merlin see just how brittle and unforgiving life actually was. How fleeting ... how ruthless like the deep sea; for one moment its calm waters could switch and overturn with the overbearing tide. 

    Two days ago, Guinevere was a darling daughter of a humble blacksmith. Now, that same darling girl was a heartbroken orphan▬the daughter of a criminal who died running from his crime of treason. 

    And life was ruthless to the ones who never deserved its harsh turn of fate, Merlin knew that very well. 

    The next morning he made his way down out of his chambers with barely any sleep. He found that Gaius had faced similar, seeing the Court Physician hunched over his worktable with his nose inside the depths of a book. As he turned the page, he hovered his looking glass over the words to help his aged eyes read it. The dead candle told Merlin his uncle had been at this the entire night. 

    When he heard his footsteps, Gaius glanced up and let out a long, exhausted sigh▬as if relieved to see him awake. "Merlin," he greeted with a yawn. He tapped the page he was currently reading. "Come. Come and take a look."

    Merlin frowned but did as he said. He set his leather bag on the table and leaned forward over the manuscript by Gaius's shoulder. He narrowed his stare to try and read the words, but his focus soon deferred to the splendid artwork of gem▬an earthen stone the colour of umber. He was enamoured by the etchings on its side and the casings like a spider had been casted in gold with this stone in its eight-legged grasp. 

    "I have been doing some research," went on Gaius, "and found this▬" he pointed to the same stone Merlin had been gazing at. 

    It made him squint and try and read the title. "'The Mage Stone?'"

    "Wonder of the ancients," said Gaius. "Lost for a thousand years or more."

    Merlin shrugged, tired and finding himself rather not in the mood to learn about Gaius's many stories. He wanted to try and see whether he could grab food from the kitchens to make sure Gwen had some breakfast▬just to get the excuse to check up on her. "What does it do?"

    "Theoretically, it could give the bearer the power of transformation."

    And like the toss of a coin, Merlin's attention switched. He shifted where she stood, a realisation hitting the pit of his stomach. He frowned back down at the drawing. Then, he met Gaius's gaze, "Gold. The power of Alchemy."

    The physician nodded, "Exactly. I believe it was the Mage Stone you sensed on the night of Tom's arrest."

    Merlin's posture straightened, "Of course!" he exclaimed as it all started to make sense. "Gwen said that Tauren had some kind of stone ..."

    His words trailed off, starting to think of the moment where he did not feel the Stone for the first time, but instead the second▬and it made him wonder where the Mage Stone was now ... and whose hands it had fallen into. 

    Across the castle corridors, twisted up and around from the winding passage of the griffin staircase, Odette was surprised to find that Morgana was not in her bed chambers when she woke up that morning. She stepped out of the antechamber only to stand, bewildered and startled to find her bed empty▬or rather, not even slept in. She felt them with confusion, seeing them not at all creased; the pillows not at all bent. The candle she had left out when she retired early, having been promised that Morgana could ready herself for bed, was not burnt at all▬never had it been lit. 

    She was unsure on what to do: whether she should grab the guard or go looking herself. It wasn't like Morgana to wander off and never return▬especially so late in the evening. Odette was quickly growing worried. She tried to think where she might have gone. Perhaps she had checked on Gwen? Perhaps she had decided to travel to Adelynn's for the night▬which was ridiculous, but Odette was running out of possibilities to ease her concern. 

    In the end, she decided to wait. Morgana should be fine, she had decided. Nothing would have happened in just an evening▬though, after recent events, Odette knew very well that everything could happen in just the blink of an eye. But some part of her was so sure to believe that if she waited, Morgana would come back▬and if it got to the point where she waited too long, then she would go looking. 

    Though it was not Morgana that entered the chambers that next moment, but instead the tired face of a girl Odette did not expect. She leapt to her feet, prepared to demand where Morgana had been, only to falter with surprise, "Gwen?" she breathed.

    The orphaned blacksmith's daughter barely gave her a glance. She wandered forwards until she reached the dining table and set a fresh breakfast of fruit and ham ready for Morgana to eat. Odette watched her, silent with such hesitant bewilderment she did not know what to say. 

    "Good morning, Odette," murmured Guinevere, softly and with an aching throat▬a tone that sounded so monotone it was as if someone else was speaking for her. "The weather is fair, I believe."

    She passed Odette by as she made her way to the table. She did not look her in the eye. "G▬Gwen ..." tried the young handmaiden, quite stunned. 

    "Where is Morgana?" Guinevere started to flatten the creases on the already smooth bed cover. "She should be awake by now."

    "I▬" Odette shook her head. She swallowed this strange lump in her throat, pained to see her friend in such a way. She carefully followed her, not sure whether to rest a hand on her shoulder or to give her a hug. "Gwen, should you not be resting?"

    Guinevere forced a smile on her face. "I have rested well enough," she said, though Odette did not believe a single word of it. "Besides, there is so much to do around here..."

    "I can do it, really," Odette tried gently. "It is not that much of a hassle▬"

    "No, no!" Gwen cut her off in a tone that immediately made the young handmaiden worry. "It is all right. It is perfectly all right ... I am perfectly all right▬" her voice cracked, but she did not give Odette enough time to reach her before she was on the other side of the room, checking the flowers to see whether they needed to be replaced. 

    She didn't know what to say or what to do other than to just let Gwen be. Odette pursed her lips and she bit her tongue, instead sitting back down on the edge of Morgana's bed to wait for her mistress to return. 

    Odette tried to remember the days where she had lost her mother▬what she would have wanted someone to do for her ... but those days were clenched tight where to revisit them, left the young handmaiden in a place far worse than before. She did not know what to do, for she had been so alone▬lost, forgotten, starving ... she had become a ghost until Guinevere found her again. All Odette wanted to do was to make sure Gwen did not end up the same ... but no matter her experiences, she truly did not know how. 

    She felt some shame and guilt to feel relief when Morgana finally did return. 

    Though the sight of her made the slight smile drop from Odette's face. Her brows furrowed, startled to see her cheeks grimed with dirt, her hair riddled and matted with straw, and the hem of her dress ripped. Gwen looked away from where she was dusting silently at the far table and her breath hitched, horrified, "My Lady!" she exclaimed. 

    The two handmaidens shuffled forward, unsure at the very sight of Morgana▬worried and confused. 

    The King's Ward stopped and she glanced over▬she looked just as shocked. Immediately, she grasped her wrist and hugged her arms close to her chest. "Gwen," she stammered. "Odette..." at their frowns she surged forward▬as if hoping to speed past them without a glance. "I did not expect to see you here."

    She was hiding something. Odette knew immediately. She followed her, eyes wide at how dirty her dress was; at the dark circles under eyes that were usually so beautiful and bright. "What▬what happened to you?" she exclaimed softly.

    "Nothing," said Morgana quickly. 

    At their silence, she knew they did not believe her. Slowly, she turned around to meet their frowns. Gwen looked as if she was about to cry to see Morgana like this. At it, the King's Ward managed a chuckle and a joking smile, "Well, nothing a hot bath would not fix."

    But their gazes caught it. Odette's heart jolted▬she gasped. Something churned in her stomach to see the red grazes around Morgana's wrists. "What is that?" she whispered, horrified. "Who did that to you?"

    Morgana pursed her lips. She briefly glanced down at it and pulled her sleeves further down. Sighing, she admitted with a bitterness that broke away as soon as she tried▬she sounded exhausted, "I spent the night in the dungeon."

    While Odette was only filled with more questions, Guinevere slumped with understanding, "Uther," she murmured.

    Their mistress nodded. She set her jaw. "He does not like to be challenged."

    "He forced you into the dungeons?" breathed her youngest handmaiden, finding herself stunned at Uther's brutality. She has seen him do horrible things, but to his own Ward? Odette always had this idea▬this belief that Morgana was so strong and brave ... that she could go up against him and walk out the other end of it alive. 

    But it wasn't the first time Uther has put those under his care in the dungeons for disobeying his orders. Odette felt sick all over again. 

    Before Morgana could get away, Gwen stopped her with a choked, "It wasn't about my father, was it?"

    At the look on her face, Gwen knew. "You ... you have enough to deal with without worrying about such things▬" began Morgana but Guinevere shook her head. She slumped. The strong facade she had tried to keep the entire morning crumbled down. 

    "You should not have done that," said Gwen; her voice was stuck in the back of her throat. She grew teary-eyed. "Not on my behalf. I▬If something happened to you I could not bear it▬" she closed her eyes and brought her hand to her lips, muffling the sob that threatened to escape. 

    Odette placed a hand on her shoulder. Morgana watched her handmaiden break down, all worry about herself forgotten. She hesitated. Then, careful and gently, she told her: "You need to go home, Gwen. Get some rest, please..."

    Guinevere pulled her hand away, "No, I am fine, My Lady," she argued.

    She turned on her heel before she could see any of their faces▬see the pain they felt for her. Morgana frowned, taken aback. "I▬I insist," she said. Guinevere continued to shake her head as she grabbed Morgana's hair brush and moved on past. "Gwen▬?"

    "I can't go home!" cried Guinevere suddenly, stopping by the screen. 

    Silence followed. Odette and Morgana shared a quick glance. The King's Ward carefully approached Guinevere. She rested her hand against her arm, brushing it sweetly. As the blacksmith's daughter hung her head, she knitted her brows with worry. "It is ... It is understandable to feel so alone," the Lady Morgana spoke from experience. 

    Guinevere moved on. She took a sharp and trembling breath through her nose. "Tauren," she croaked. 

    Odette's frown deepened. "Tauren?"

    Gwen finally turned to them, tear-stricken and terrified. "He▬he attacked me," she whispered▬as if petrified that someone would overhear them. "He threatened me. He was looking for some kind of stone."

    Something cold washed across Morgana's face. She turned pale. She did her best to hide it, but Odette noticed her grow suddenly very tense. "A▬A stone?" 

    "He said if I did not bring it to him he would kill me▬" Guinevere grew more frantic at each word she said. "He is waiting for me in the Darkling Woods. I have to do something! If I do not get this stone to him by dawn tomorrow▬"

    She dropped to the edge of the bed, hiding her face in her hands as she cried. Odette was with her in a matter of seconds, her heart pounding. She went to ask Morgana what they should do, but the King's Ward was already storming to the door. 

    Gwen noticed and she looked up, "What▬what are you going to do?" she asked. 

    Morgana spun back last minute. She clenched her hands, urgent. "I am going to send the guards, of course," she told them, but there was a gleam in her eye that made Odette grow uneasy. She knew Morgana▬she knew her very well. And she knew when her friend was met with a burst of determination▬of dangerous determination. "It will not be you that Tauren meets. It will be the Knights of Camelot."

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

    MERLIN COULDN'T escape it▬late in the night yet again, the piercing feeling woke him from his slumber with a start to his mind. He hissed and clamped his hands over his ears, wincing as it grew overwhelming▬it coursed through him far stronger that it has done before. The Mage Stone rang, high-pitched, sending tingles all the way down his limbs. In the end, he stopped ignoring it. With a breath, Merlin sat up and flung the woollen blanket off his legs. Stepping his bare feet onto the cold stone, he rushed to tug on his socks and boots before stepping up and opening the wooden hatch his window. Merlin climbed up onto the small table he kept the many botany books Gaius kept giving him and peered outside into the Camelot night. 

    He expected to see commotion in the Lower Town, but his eyes automatically fixed downwards into the courtyard where he saw someone else exit the citadel. A figure draped in a long, billowing silk green cloak. 

    He frowned and quickly stepped down. He tugged on his leather coat and slipped out of his chamber. Quiet and grave, Merlin snuck past Gaius▬who wouldn't hear any footsteps anyway over his loud snoring▬and slipped out into the winding staircase that led him down and out of the physician's tower. 

    Merlin held his breath as he followed the figure at a distance. He quickly caught up with them as they tiptoed into the Lower Town▬rigid and tense, as if they weren't entirely sure on what they were doing or how to sneak out. He eyed the silk cloak▬only the wealthiest could afford such a luxury. No matter what stone he could turn into gold, Tauren would never find himself owning such delicate clothes. 

    The young warlock kept to the shadows, only glancing out when he was sure the figure had passed and not seen him before following. They crossed the bridge to the centre of the slums▬and he heard the click sound of heeled slippers, not scuffed leather boots. 

    Merlin ducked in behind the side of the blacksmith's shop▬now abandoned and still destroyed from when the guards raided it. He had disappeared in the shadows just in time, for the figure turned around▬as if feeling a shift in the wind to tell them that something wasn't right; tell her.

    His eyes widened and his breath left him, shocked to see the glinting gaze of the Lady Morgana underneath the low-hanging hood of her cloak. She glanced around, if not a little frantic▬under the glow of her moon, her dark, black waves shone with a gleam of silver. 

    When she was sure that she was alone, did she turn back and continue on her way▬and Merlin was left in those shadows, so jarred that he couldn't force his legs forward in order to follow. 

    He didn't understand▬what was the Lady Morgana doing with the Mage Stone? Or yet, how could Merlin feel its magic at her touch? He might not know much about magic and its many wonders, yet, but he was sure that even though the King's Ward was gifted with the powers of prophecy in her dreams, that didn't mean she had the power to wield a stone of Alchemy ...

    At least, Merlin thought...

    He went to surge onwards, desperate to not lose the Lady Morgana in whatever path she was taking when another voice whispered out into the darkness:

    "What is Morgana doing?"

    Merlin nearly hit his head on the overhang roof he jumped so high. He spun around and gaped to see Adelynn frowning back at him. Soft and high-pitched to make sure no one would hear, the warlock exclaimed, "What are you doing here?!"

    The young Miss Adelynn had donned her own cloak▬one that was by far more ambiguous in its dull tan colour and frayed ends. It piled at her feet, which told Merlin she must have taken it from her handmaiden, who was a some years older than her▬and taller. Underneath it, she had not cared for any kirtle or warmth, having just slipped on a simple woollen tunic over her nightdress. It was green in colour and embroidered with little golden thread flowers. 

    Merlin had this sudden moment where he started to understand Arthur's frustration whenever he or Odette followed him. Not even thinking about giving her a proper bow of his head or addressing her in a correct manner, the warlock gestured to Ronyn's younger sister, exasperated, "You▬you shouldn't be▬how did you even get here?!"

    Adelynn gave him a face under the dim candlelight from inside the humble homesteads around them, "Please, this is not my first time sneaking out▬I know how to get where I wish to go. And I felt it▬that feeling again, and this time I thought I should investigate."

    Merlin went to say something, but he stopped. He glanced around and saw that Morgana was getting further and further away▬he couldn't lose sight of her. So, in the end, he sighed and reluctantly let Adelynn join him, gesturing for her to follow. 

    Together, the two young magical beings snuck through the night after the suspicious Lady Morgana. They wandered through the remainder of the Lower Town and ducked through a side exit▬an ajar door used by guards patrolling the exterior fortress walls▬to disappear within the darkened corridors and step outside on towards a discreet pathway towards the Darkling Woods.  

    Merlin glanced at Adelynn, slightly concerned with her at his side. But while he worried about her not being there when her maid came to wake her in the mornings▬worried about where this pathway Morgana was leading would take them▬, she met his stare with a bounce of her brows and picked up her skirts to step into the forest. Merlin sighed but ducked under a branch in order to catch up.

    They had to keep their distance a bit more in the forest▬while they were surrounded by many other sounds: insects, forest floor crawlers and other night dwellers, they had to make sure that they didn't make much noise themselves. They had to be cautious not to step on dry leaves or fallen branches▬and due to the seasonal fall of leaves this time of year, this was almost impossible to avoid. And so, they followed at a very slow pace▬only keeping Morgana at the very edge of their gaze. Even then, Merlin relied more on the feeling of the Mage Stone now rather than the sight of the King's Ward▬and the magic gave him exact directions on where they needed to go. 

    The dark slowly started to brighten into a fresh, dew dawn. The forest brightened up to a cool glow as they climbed the grassy slope, stopping by a barrier of shrubs. From there, they could gaze outwards in the cover of low leaves to watch Morgana slow to a stop at the centre of the path. They were a well-length deep within the forest; the sounds and sights of Camelot were long gone now. 

    Around her within the low shrubs and trees, the leaves rustled and sticks were trampled underfoot. In a matter of seconds, Morgana was surrounded by men in chainmail and leather armour. Tauren's followers circled the King's Ward, holding out weapons of steel that hovered tauntingly close to her back and stomach. She hitched her breath, hunching up as she gave them each a terrified glance. 

    The last to join was the man Merlin quickly learnt was Tauren himself. Dressed quite like his men, he hid his narrow face under a leather hood rimmed with chainmail at its hem across his shoulders. He didn't look like a sorcerer, more like a rascal bandit who robbed travelling nobles. 

    With just one glance at her silk cloak, Tauren narrowed his intense stare onto the Lady Morgana, "Where is your maid?"

    Morgana stiffened at the blades that inched closer▬now just inches from her skin. She swallowed her fear and declared bravely, "I have come in her place."

    Tauren nodded. He turned to his men and ordered with no hesitation: "Kill her▬"

    "No! No! Wait▬!" cried Morgana, scrambling for something hidden within her cloak. The men around her hesitation. "Please▬I brought the Stone!"

    "What else have you brought, Milady?" Tauren clasped the hilt of his own blade rested at his hip. "The Knights of Camelot?"

    "I came alone. I promise you."

    Merlin and Adelynn huddled close together, careful not to even make a breath of noise as they watched the exchange below. Tauren let down his hood, eyeing Morgana with a new sense of interest. She held her breath, sucking in her stomach to avoid the tips of the blades around her as much as possible.

    Then, the sorcerer held out his hand, "Give me the Stone."

    She obliged, setting a leather pouch onto Tauren's outstretched palm. He quickly undid the strings and Merlin felt that rush of magic yet again when the sorcerers fingers brushed along the surface of the Stone inside▬as if to make sure it was real. 

    Satisfied, he told the Lady Morgana, "You were foolish to come here. I had no quarrel with you maid." His men did not lower their swords. "But you, my Lady Morgana▬" Tauren drew his own weapon and dug it under her chin. She stiffened, horrified as she stared it down. "You are Uther's ward."

    Morgana shuffled anxiously on her toes as she tried to think off the top of her head. "I▬If you kill me you will regret it!" she announced suddenly. 

    He clenched his grip tighter, "Why is that?"

    Morgana took a sharp breath through her nose, tiling her chin up to avoid the glinting, sharp edge. Then she set a dark stare onto the man opposite her▬a look Merlin has never seen on her before. "Because I want Uther dead, too."

    A silent, shaky breath raked through Merlin's bones. For a moment, he thought he hadn't heard her right. Then, slowly, it began to dawn on him when he noticed the look on Adelynn's face▬her shock and horror that told him that he had heard right. And yet, still, he couldn't find himself believing it. He knew Morgana▬he knew her to be kind, and compassionate and considerate. He could never imagine that same loving and just woman have the capacity for murder. 

    But as he gazed at her now, staring Tauren down with a stare that was nothing less of bitter, ruthless revenge, Merlin felt as if he was looking at a wolf in sheep's clothing▬a complete stranger. 

    Tauren seemed to think this, too. He chuckled, disbelieving. "You?" he nodded to Morgana, amused. "An enemy of the King? And I am to believe that?"

    Morgana gritted her teeth, "Then why else would I be here?" she snapped. 

    "I can only guess at your motives, Milady. You could be a spy for all I know."

    "And this▬?" she held out her wrists. Merlin could barely see what she was showing Tauren; but as the movement brushed up the edge of her gloves, this sick feeling settled in him as he caught glimpse of red and irritated grazes. At the way Tauren set his jaw, he could tell it looked even worse up close. Morgana took an angry breath. "Is it usual for Uther to chain his friends to a dungeon wall?"

    A long, ringing silence followed. Morgana and Tauren stared each other down with furious glares. Until, finally, the sorcerer lowered his blade away from Morgana's throat. 

    She nodded and pulled her hands back under the cover of her cloak. "The Stone▬" she began, "▬you took it to the forge. Why?"

    Tauren held up the leather pouch with an almost wistful breath, "With it a man can alter the very essence of things. He can turn a lump of lead into gold."

    "Gold?" Morgana scoffed, livid. "A good man died in your quest for riches, Tauren! His daughter is now an orphan!"

    The sorcerer pursed his lips. Something apologetic weighed down on his brow. "I am sorry for that," he admitted, "truly. But we did not want the gold to line our pockets. The gold was but a means▬a means to rid this kingdom of Uther Pendragon once and for all."

    "What are you saying?"

    "Bribery is rife at Camelot. I will use the corruption at the heart of his kingdom. And such an abundance of gold will buy me into the King's chambers▬even to the King himself."

    Morgana chuckled at this▬but her tone held nothing genuine. "The guards may be fools, Tauren, but the King is not," she said. 

    He sheathed his sword, "Do you have a better plan?"

    The King's Ward lifted her chin once more. "Yes," she stated. Merlin didn't like the sound of her voice▬there was nothing kind or caring about it at all. "To get to Uther you need someone close to him."

    "And you know of such a person?"

    "I do. Me."

    Merlin and Adelynn raced back home as quick as they could after that. The young warlock followed his noble lady friend, ducking through the same obscure passage ways back into the city walls. Neither one spoke as they snuck through the early morning traffic in the Lower Town. Merlin let himself be dragged back towards the walls of the Vecentia Manor, and Adelynn led him into the back garden into a spot away from the eyes of any wandering past to discuss what they had seen. 

    And almost immediately, Adelynn burst into a horrific whisper: "Morgana's going to kill the King!" 

    Merlin was still staggered and speechless, trying to make sense of all that had happened with his thundering heart. He didn't know what he was going to walk into following the Lady Morgana, but never had he expected to bear witness to a plot of treason on her tongue. He knew her to be stubborn, opinionated and sometimes abrasive in her determination to speak her justice without fear. But he never thought that her belief and faith for justice and fair play in this world would bring her to this course of erratic, irrational decision. 

    And it scared him, because he didn't know what to do. He wanted to stop her▬Merlin found himself breathless to think he would let her go through with this and regret this moment for the rest of her life. Morgana had a good heart; she wasn't a killer. And yet, would she listen to him if he told her all that he knew? Uther most certainly would not believe him▬he'd be shackled himself. Arthur wouldn't either. She was right about one thing: she was the perfect person to get to Uther. 

    But what scared him more was that there was a part of Merlin that almost wanted to let her do it▬let her kill Uther Pendragon. He who persecuted Merlin's kind▬killed fathers, mothers and children in cold blood. A ruthless man who saw no mercy once his mind was set▬the tyrant King who had murdered his dearest friend's only family left without even listening to a word the humble blacksmith had to say. Why shouldn't he be killed for all that he has done? Why shouldn't he die to let his son, a greater man who will grow into a great King, start his reign now? 

    When he didn't reply to her, Adelynn waved her hands in front of Merlin's face, "Merlin!" she scowled and he jumped, blinking out of his thoughts. "Morgana is going to kill Uther!"

    "I know," he said dumbly. 

    She stared at him, momentarily exasperated before frantically asking him: "Well, what are we to do about it?"

    Merlin stammered, "I▬what?"

    The young Miss Adelynn Vecentia looked disappointed by this answer. "W▬well," she began anxiously, watching him▬as if searching for something. "Well, I suppose you know what to do▬to stop her? I certainly do not know. I do not know how..."

    "I do not know," he said to her, honest. She frowned once again. 

    "Are you not ..." Adelynn was surprised that he didn't have a plan. "Are you not going to tell someone? Should we tell someone?"

    "Who would listen?" Merlin shrugged, growing helpless. "I am a servant, my word does not stand for anything."

    "You word stands for something," Adelynn quickly shot back, quite startled by his self-deprecation. But it was a naive attempt at trying to reassure him when they both knew it was the truth. "It means something to me. Perhaps I shall say something to my brother. He will speak to Arthur and then Arthur will speak to his father..."

    "Arthur and Uther will not believe anyone," Merlin said to her. "Morgana is kind and she is caring▬this is not her. She is just ... she is angry."

    "Then speak to her."

    "I cannot."

    "Why?"

    "Because▬!" he shrugged yet again, finding himself cornered and with no way to explain himself. "I▬" Merlin sighed and placed his head in his hands. "I just cannot. 

    "You cannot or you will not?"

    Merlin grew frustrated at her comment. He shook his head at her, wondering whether it was ignorance or a frustrating belief on a black and white morality on this world. "I▬it is not as simple as that. If I were to tell her I knew, she might say something▬and I do not know what Uther would do to me if he found out. It would be her word over mine. I do not expect you to understand that."

    "I do," argued Adelynn weakly, taken aback at his sudden frustration and anger. 

    "No, you do not," Merlin told her. "You are not the one who scrubs the floors and wakes up in the early hours of the morning just to have time to polish a prat's chainmail and armour for training and get him his breakfast before he wakes up. You are not the one who could be accused of something and not have the chance to be listened to, to▬to fight for any right because you do not have one! I am nothing and you are everything. You will live a life, magic or not▬you will walk those floors that I scrub and be listened to. You are worth something, Adelynn. You do not understand."

    He took a deep breath and shook his head. He glanced down and closed his eyes, immediately regretting all that he said. "My Lady, I▬" he sighed and pursed his lips. "I am sorry, My Lady. I will figure something out, I just ..." Merlin did not say anything else. He did not look at the hurt stare Adelynn held as she left her in her brother's whimsical garden ... a place he very much did not belong in.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

    GUINEVERE HAD a frown on her face when she opened the back door to her father's home▬her home, she thought painfully▬and froze when she saw the familiar stare of Lord Ronyn Vecentia meeting her own under the hem of a cloak. She froze there for a moment, surprised as the early morning sun dawned down onto Camelot with the slightest breath of a chill▬one you could not feel until it snuck up on you, crawling up your spine and making you shiver. But while she was confused, there was some part of her that was relieved to have something break up her morning▬distract her from her exhausting new game of sitting in the centre of her home with nothing else to clean, or to dust, or to put away ... and just stare at the door, hoping for her father to walk through it.

    There was this slight drop of disappointment on her shoulders as well, because for a silly moment, she had rushed to open the door thinking that the person that would stand behind this door would be her father, still. She felt ashamed for such a naive, ignorant notion▬and how it almost made her cry once more. 

    But she pushed past it to purse her lips and murmur, "My Lord?"

    Ronyn pulled down his hood, "May I come in?"

    Gwen had this sudden urge to say, 'No.' She wondered whether it was because she knew it was improper, whether she was scared of him seeing her so vulnerable, or whether it was that strain that was still trying to push whatever happened between them away. Despite all of these things, however, she nodded and stepped aside, letting the Lord Vecentia enter the humble home. 

    "Er▬" Guinevere cleared her throat and tried to make herself seem a bit more presentable in this home that she had scrubbed spotless in her attempt to keep her mind busy▬and yet it still seemed dirty. "Would you▬would you like some food? Some water?"

    "No, I am quite all right," replied Ronyn, coming to a stop in the centre of her home and glancing around. She supposed for a moment he was taking in the feeling of how lonely it felt▬how empty and quiet. "I have just ... well, I wished to check and see how you are fairing?"

    Guinevere closed her door and brushed her skirts, not meeting his gaze, "I am fine."

    "You do not have to say you are fine if you are not."

    Gwen found herself sighing briefly. She was tired and she was drained▬her mind, when she was standing still, strangely was filled with nothing; a real, true numbness that she could not shake. "It is ..." she began, soft and mumbling, "... it is easier."

    "I understand," Ronyn fiddled with his fingers, growing awkward as if not sure whether to keep standing, or take a seat at her table. Guinevere hoped he would not. It did not feel right, for him to sit lower than her▬it was not right, she should say: it did not matter what felt right and what didn't, this was not right. And yet, here they still seemed to indulge it because neither one seemed able to have enough strength to walk away. "Still no word from your brother?"

    Guinevere shook her head. She wandered over to the table herself. "At this stage I feel as if it is better I do not see him. If he showed up at my door, now, I would not know what to say."

    "He is still your brother, he should be here."

    "I know," mumbled Gwen, quite defeated. 

    They stood opposite each other too long for it to not become awkward. Ronyn glanced down at the table and then away, and she realised he was waiting for her to say to him whether it was okay. In the end, she pursed her lips and nodded. He immediately sat down, stiff and with his leg bouncing▬he continued to glance around as she found herself sitting herself on the other side. Gwen set her hands on the wood of the table, lightly tapping it. 

    When the silence became too much, Ronyn made a little face before speaking up in a mutter, "You know ... you were right▬you have always been right, about me."

    Gwen frowned, "About you?"

    "Yes," he gave her a little smile. "But more specifically about that day I was at your father's forge when he recovered. I suppose I felt as if I had to do something in order to make up for what had happened. I was prepared to pay him more than I should have▬to give a charity, I suppose. But then ... then he told me that he would not charge me for it. Even if he probably needed the money, he gave me a smile and insisted. It made me realise something ... your father made me realise that being honourable and humble isn't helping those less than you, it is holding yourself in the same regard as well as holding them in the same regard. And so ... so I found myself wanting to come back ... again and again and again ... I genuinely wanted to be there because I just ... I just enjoyed your father's company. I had never experienced something like that before▬something so ..." he didn't finish, a bit too hesitant but Guinevere understood: fatherly. Ronyn had never had someone jest with him, work with him and take him under their wing to show him a trade without belittling him. Guinevere's father had given him that. 

    Ronyn nodded, "I respect your father, Guinevere. I will always respect him▬perhaps more than anyone else."

    Respect, the word almost made her flood with tears. Hearing the word respect and her father together was something she thought she'd never hear again▬not after him dying a guilty man under the eye of everyone else when she knew he was innocent.

    But Ronyn ... Ronyn respected him. He did not see him as some shamed criminal▬some traitor to the crown. He respected him for the person he actually was▬and by doing that, he was keeping Gwen's father alive as an innocent, free man. 

    She did not know how to thank him. Instead, she took a deep breath and asked: "May I ask ... How ... how did your father die?"

    Ronyn hefted his own deep breath and sat backwards, gripping onto the edge of the table so he wouldn't fall off the seat. At first, she didn't think he would answer her question, but then he leant forward again and said: "My father's bane was his own anger▬I suppose it was fitting. It is strange, how much you might hate someone with every inch of your being ... until you see them struggle, panicked in front of you▬and just like that, I seemed to remember nothing else than the fact that he was my father ... and I was watching him die.

    "He ... we do not know exactly," Ronyn shrugged it off, but she could hear the heaviness in his voice. "But I disobeyed him. He had wanted me to join him for a council meeting and I wanted to spend my day wasting away in the tavern. When he found out ... he was furious▬more angry than I had ever seen him. I remember being scared. I remember wanting to run▬to hide somewhere. Despite how much he struck me I could not ... I could not even imagine the thought of raising my own hand to him. Not even to defend myself it was ..." he shook his head. "But then ... then he just stopped talking. More than that, he just stopped. He collapsed and no matter how much I yelled his name and shook him, he would not wake ... and then, just like that, he was dead. Gaius believes his heart had failed him▬that he had gotten so angry that ... I do not know ... I do not care to know ..."

    He did care. Gwen knew he did care▬she could see it on his face. 

    She found herself standing up. He frowned at her and quickly stood up as well. She did not say anything as she rounded the table. Guinevere ignored his question of her name, knowing it would make her stop. Then, she quickly buried her head into his chest, wrapping her arms tight around him. Guinevere hugged Ronyn and she cried. For him, for herself▬she did not know. But she was glad when he enveloped her closer and tighter in his own arms, and for a long time, he did not let go. 

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

    THE NEXT morning, Morgana's plot to kill the King had struck. She and Uther had decided to take a sudden pilgrimage to Morgana's late father's grave▬Merlin watched them go through the glazed windows of an empty servants' quarters, weighed down with this unbearable feeling to know exactly what the King's Ward planned. He had heard her speak yet again last night with Tauren▬he knew that she did not want Uther to return from this journey; at least not alive. 

    He didn't know what to do. He truly did not know what to do. Part of him was desperate to go after them and fight▬to stop this from happening, because no matter what, murdering someone wasn't right. He wanted to stop Morgana from doing something far from who she was▬and watch it change her; scar her. He wanted to stop Arthur from losing a father▬Merlin knew what that was like, not having a father. It was a curse he did not wish upon anyone. And yet, the other side of him felt ashamed that he did want to stop this▬that felt as if he was betraying his own kind to save the man that persecuted people like him for a destiny that seemed so far away. Something so intangible that he felt ... almost evil to put it above the lives of ordinary, innocent people. The Great Dragon told him he must let it go▬let Arthur's reign come to the light. Gaius told him that he shouldn't▬that Arthur was not ready ... Gaius told him he trusted Merlin to do the right thing ...

    Not only he, but Adelynn seemed to think it was up to Merlin to figure out what to do ... how to stop this ...

    Merlin didn't even know what the right thing was, let alone how to do it.

    They were getting further and further away▬he was running out of time. Yet, his feet did not move from their position in front of the window. 

    He was so caught up he did not hear the timid voice call out to him until she was right at his side, "Merlin?"

    His breath hitched in surprise and he glanced over. His brows knitted together, "Gwen?" he murmured, taken aback. Her skin was still pale of colour, her gaze was still drained and exhausted▬but she looked better than yesterday ... he knew that each day, slowly, she will start to look better than the last. He shifted against the brick, managing to force a welcoming smile, "How ... how are you doing?"

    She frowned at him, too. "I was about to ask you the same question?"

    Merlin breathed a slight chuckle, incredulous. After all that has happened to her, here Guinevere was, asking whether he was okay. "I'm fine," he promised her. He quickly swallowed the lump in his throat and set his gaze back onto the retreating figures on horseback leaving the citadel. "Fine."

    Guinevere followed his gaze, curious. When she saw what it was fixed on, she pursed her lips into a sad smile, "Morgana has been amazing these past few days."

    Merlin refused to let her compliment and care about anyone else other than herself in this moment. He set his jaw and told her, stern and sure: "I think you have been amazing."

    Gwen glanced over, brows lifted. 

    "I mean," went on the warlock, "after all that has happened ... getting your life back together."

    Gwen looked down at her skirts. She nodded, grateful▬almost immediately, he could see her entire facade drop. She sniffled back some tears. "It is better than sitting in an empty house waiting for my father to walk through the door," she admitted. Then, she shook her head and turned away, "I think ... I suppose the thing I find hardest to bear is that most people will always think he was guilty because he tried to escape."

    Merlin quickly pushed his back off the stone, "I know he was innocent," he reassured her. 

    She rubbed at her eyes, "I think he tried to escape because he knew that whatever he said or did, he would be killed. Uther had already made up his mind. That is the kind of man he is."

    Something settled in Merlin's chest▬something that almost scared him. He watched his dear friend carefully, and held a strange darkness to his voice when he said to her: "I would not blame you if you wanted him dead."

    Even he was surprised by such words. But then Gwen turned to face him and said without any hesitance, "If Uther died I would feel nothing. He means nothing to me."

    Merlin's heart paced. His breath hitched▬and he realised that his decision weighed on this very moment: on the heart of someone whose life Uther destroyed with no care. "But ..." he swallowed harshly, "... but if you had▬you know▬the choice ... what would you do?"

    Gwen's frown returned. She stared at him, growing rather startled and concerned.

    "If you had the power of life and death over Uther, would you kill him for what he did?"

    Guinevere was silent for a moment, just watching him with that fearful worry▬wondering what had made Merlin ask such a thing; such a terrifying thing. But then, she shook her head. Guinevere Smith shook her head and she croaked out a horrified, "No."

    Merlin's heavy anger fell away and he was left with this numb feeling of shock. Gwen shook her head once again. "No. What would that solve?" said the humble blacksmith's daughter. Even with her heart broken, her tears cried and her life turned upside down, she gave Merlin the exact wisdom of kindness he needed to hear: "That would make me a murderer. That would make me as bad as him."

    And those words made him realise what he needed to do▬what he had needed to do this whole time. What the right thing to do was. "You are right," he breathed. "Of course, you are right."

    Merlin dragged her in for a quick side hug before he took off at a run out of the room. Gwen spun around, confused as she watched him go. "I▬Is anything wrong?"

    "No, no! See you later!"

    Guinevere's kindness saved not just Uther's life that day. It did not just save Merlin's conscious: it saved Morgana's own ... it saved her from becoming something▬someone she would hate.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

    a/n: this is such a filler and I am so sorry for the lack of odette content. this chapter is ew and I apologise. 

    can we just love and appreciate gwen? thanks.

    anyway I promised I would explain Arthur and odette in more detail to a reader last chapter in this author's note so here were are. I need to get ready for uni but here:

    so, they're a mix of different things. the first one is a very like hero-worship inpso. I say this lightly cos a lot of hero-worship dynamics can end up being toxic, which is why they're not completely this dynamic. rather it leads into more aspects of it all. so this is because of the whole theme of the show. you're watching Arthur's story from everyone else's point of view▬mainly merlin's. and because of this, the whole idea of the 'legend' is very prominent. that's why you have so many dialogues on how great Arthur will be, referencing the legend and sort of breaking that fourth wall to us who do all have this idea of King Arthur and the 'story' and how great he was. 

    that aspect represents that theme of the show. and so does the whole thing about arthur symbolising Odette's 'sunrise' aka her hope for a better future and life. by adding that part of the relationship, the idea was to hope to give you guys a feeling as if you're still within the feel, theme and experience of the show but reading it in the form of a fanfiction▬I like to think it makes it feel more natural when adding an oc into canon if you really incorporate the message of the canon show/film/book into your own fic. 

    but then this also leads into the whole▬I call it dom/sub in a way that's not the 'smut' trope, but more because to me it best explains the whole power dynamic the easiest way between odette and arthur. 

     basically, arthur to me is way more of a dominant personality. and I mean just in general. not behind closed doors in the firkin bedroom. he orders merlin and others around, he gets angry easily and always feels the need to step into power▬to control a situation because a: he's going to be king and he has that automatic authority. b: I believe it makes him feel comfortable and less stressed. c: he always feels like he has something to prove to his father so he automatically is dominant in everything he does because he needs to be in order to feel as if he's actually got control of just his life and his relationship with his father in general. also, the dude is an estp type 3 man. that's what makes him so different in the 'impulsive' stereotype of an estp which is basically gwaine. being a type 3 makes him ambitious, determined to be best at what he does and insecure if he isn't. 

    because like same Arthur. type 3w2 syndrome we both have it. and while he definitely is insecure about whether he'd be a great king, this man isn't going to just let someone else tell him to do something without being so confused they get away with it, or he argues and ignores it because he's super stubborn and feels safe in that power because there is also a feeling amongst the insecurity to think that he's reached it, and he could be doing something right. why do you think he and gwaine butt heads in season 3? they're both trying to make a plan in s3ep12 and in the end its merlin that has to save the day because they're too busy trying to argue who has the bigger d▬

    I mean, arguing who has the better plan. that was what I was going to say...    

   okay, so lets talk about odette. now, don't get my Gryffindor girl wrong. if you get her really mad and prideful, she will try and knock that door down. but this is the girl that followed ronyn and arthur around even when they annoyed her as a kid because a: they were older than her. b: she thought they were cool. c: she wanted to impress them, constantly. she wanted them to think she was brave, and she was daring▬especially arthur. ronyn literally like exposes her on this its funny. 

    this whole 'hero worship' thing started way back when they were kids. he was always this heroic figure to odette under the beam of the sunlight. and she followed him, and tried to impress him, and wanted to be around him constantly. when her mother died, she was pushed aside▬not by the boys themselves, but by the people and the aspects of their lives around them. she was humbled, she had to look after herself ... she became very, very alone and thought she will always be alone. and so this heroic figure of Arthur became even more heroic because it was from a distance. 

     and so when they rekindle their friendship, a lot of things have happened. arthur's changed and he's gotten this feel of authority that I talked about before, and odette has focused him into this pure reason of her hope in order to keep herself going. this creates the whole dynamic of how Arthur believes himself to be more mature and reasonable (and in many ways, he is); he is older than odette and is more 'wise' than her at the start of this book. he chides her, he gets exasperated at her and merlin's antiques. twenty-one and seventeen is only four years when you're older, but at this stage, there is a real gap in growth. and while this wouldn't be considered back then, which is why the context is very much developed in this part, its real in our context and that's why this part has been very important to try and delve away from the specific age dynamic between 17 yr-old odette and 21 yr-old arthur and how that makes them treat each other.

     but it doesn't go away completely. Arthur is older than her. he teases her, he still chides her on some things▬its not really about age as they get older, its just who he is. and the thing is, she will listen to him. even now, she will run after him or follow him when he tells her to. she will happily follow him in his shadow like she did when they were kids because she likes being around him, she likes having someone to sort of just be a more solid figure in her life because she's been alone. she lost her mother, her parents 'left' her. she's hesitant to call gaius a father figure because she is scared that she is making it up and that she truly believes she deserves to be alone because it's all she knows. 

     this then means she likes arthur being 'bigger' in his personality and just in general. it isn't just random when I draw attention to his touch with odette▬especially his hands and how they'll just envelop her. she likes being protected by him. she likes it because she feels safe because here we are again: the 'sunrise' metaphor. he is her hero. she is happy to serve him as a servant▬she is content in currently being his subject etc you know those monologues in the moment of truth episode chapters. when they're in a relationship he considers her his equal (he sort of already does); he admires her and sees his morals, ideals and hope for a future in her and she gives him that hope of a future. she sort of symbolises Camelot for him. and Arthur loves Camelot. 

     so in some way, he represents her people even as his equal. and you see it in the way she will reassure him and give him monologue's on leadership and great kingship. and the thing is, he likes that. he likes the idea of someone thinking so great of him and saying these things because he's never had anybody say that▬be proud of him. lol daddy issues. He sort of likes her words of appreciation and her 'idolisation' (I use this word loosely because I've used 'hero' too much) of him. this immediately puts him on top within this relationship even without all the other aspects. not only that, but when their relationship starts, a lot of the things that initiate it are Arthur's decisions. and it becomes a development for odette to make some initiative. 

      I could write a whole book about them - well, I am writing a whole book. so you will have to see how what I mean unfolds and comes to be. season 2 really becomes a super jumping spring-board for their dynamics because the real growth in their relationship in more than just context and background development. 

     so, in a summary: arthur's and odette's traumas, personalities, age and just the society around them during the time this is based in makes arthur dominant and odette the sub. it's just a real easy way to explain the top/bottom and power dynamics between them without getting into all of the character analysis and possible spoilers and really exposing them. and yes, if I were to write a mature scene, you would see the dynamic in such a way. 

     does that make sense? I hope it does. anyway, I love all of you guys and this was a super long authors note but I hope you enjoyed the deeper explanation either way!! 

     anyway if it doesn't I'm sorry, you guys will end up seeing it. but even then like thats the beauty of books, even if I said this is how I've written it and how I've interpreted it, you can interpret it completely different and for it still to be right.

     see you guys next chapter (the odette and arthur moments will kill me in the next episode).

     friken we're at the last set of chapters for this act fuk▬