chapter twenty-seven!
027. humble beginnings

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    "WOULD YOU stop squirming!"

    "You don't have to be so close, you know?"

    Merlin mimicked the way Odette snapped at him as the two of them pressed shoulder-to-shoulder against each other, trying to dangerously lean down the side of the stone wall that stood the length of the bridge that passed between the Upper Town and Lower Town. The young handmaiden elbowed her friend slightly as she tried to stretch her arm further down, fingers grasping at a small flower that had been growing out of the cobblestone cracks. Merlin hissed in pain as he kept a hold on her to make sure she didn't fall over the edge.

    "Do we really need to go to all this trouble?" he said as he did, glancing around them as bystanders passed them, giving them both a wide birth with incredulous looks upon their faces. "There are other flowers."

    "No," stated Odette, stubborn. "This one matches Guinevere's new dress she made I must get it for her."

    Merlin sighed, exasperated. He glanced up at the heavens, "This is how we shall die, I am sure of it." He casually reached to hold up Odette's hair as it started to fall into her face. "Also▬where's my flower? Growing out the side of the bell tower?"

    Odette chuckled sarcastically, her fingers almost touching the stem. "If it is you are climbing it!" she quipped back in a sing-songy voice. "Ah! Yes▬I've gotten it!"

    When she didn't hear a reply from him, still hanging over the side. Odette frowned, "Uh, Merlin? Did you hear me?" still no answer. "Merlin! I got the flower▬" he pulled her back up abruptly and spun her around. She went to argue her annoyance at his sudden movement only to freeze when she understood why. Odette immediately hunched up, matching Merlin's expression exactly as they both stared back at Arthur who stood there, arms crossed and very unimpressed. The two servants shared a quick glance that expressed no other thought than: they were done for.

    For a short while, Arthur was silent. He just stared at them with a furrowed brow. His crossed arms moved as he then set his hands on his hips, still dressed in a loose white tunic and pants▬not even prepared for the day ahead. In the end, he let out a disappointed sigh, having been in this position too many times.

    He looked down at his feet before taking a final breath and returning his scowl onto the two servants. "Tell me, Merlin," he began, "what impression does it give when I wake up, and I find that my manservant is not there with breakfast nor to prepare me for a council meeting I have to attend? Instead, as I go searching for him, I find him dangling the Lady Morgana's second handmaiden over the side of the town bridge."

    Merlin pursed his lips. Then, after a moment, he decided to say, "... That the Crown Prince is unable to dress himself?"

    The Prince set his jaw. After a pause, he repeated: "I will say it again. Merlin, what impression does this give?"

    Merlin was not wavering. "That ... Odette cares more about getting Gwen flowers than her job▬?"

    "Merlin▬!" she gasped and shoved him, horrified that he would throw her under the wagon like that.

    "That's for making me do this!" he whispered harshly back to her. As they quietly argued, Arthur slowly pinched the bridge of his nose.

    "I have actually completed my morning errands for the Lady Morgana," Odette quickly defended herself. "I don't▬I do not think flowers are more important than▬" she chuckled nervously. "I▬I would never▬in fact, it was Merlin, who▬"

    Merlin gaped at her, "That is a▬" he scoffed, unable to believe her innocent acts. He shook his head, pointing at the young handmaiden who fiddled with the small flower they laboured to get. "Are you listening to her? She dragged me into this! And I mean dragged me out of bed to do this▬"

    Arthur rubbed his forehead. "Merlin," he cut him off. "Before I lose my patience, what impression does this give?"

    Merlin bit back his want to take Odette's flower and throw it right over the side. "That I am a lousy servant...?"

    The Prince nodded, giving him a sarcastic, annoyed smile, "Yeah."

    The manservant pursed his lips, "I'll prepare your breakfast." With that said, he rushed off back towards the castle. Arthur shook his head as he went, mouthing silent curses to himself▬or perhaps the Lord for giving him such an idiot for a servant.

    Finally, with a frustrated huff from his lips, Arthur set his eyes on the maidservant still awkwardly standing there, clutching her little flower close to her chest. All of the sudden, he found himself unable to think of what he was going to say, just noticing the way her hair fell from her mother's hair clip in the exact way it had when he done it before.

    Whatever chiding word; whatever errand he was going to give her in order to keep her and Merlin out of trouble disappeared from Arthur's mind and he stammered for a moment▬also remembering the way she had walked out.

    In the end, the only word he managed to get out was: "Rain."

    She blinked, quite startled by the word. Arthur frowned to himself, wondering what was wrong with him. Odette stared at him strangely. "Rain...?" she began slowly and carefully.

    Arthur quickly recovered and nodded. "Yes, I have heard it will rain today."

    Odette continued to frown. She glanced up at the clear sky▬not a single cloud. "Rain ... today?"

    He noticed, too. He pursed his lips, hanging there on the thread of this conversation that he was so desperate to never let it end. "Erm ... yes. Does not seem like it yet ... but ..."

    "Right ..."

    A horrible, long and awkward pause settled between the two of them. Neither quite knew what to do, or what they wanted to say▬or where they should say anything. In the end, Odette mustered a stiff smile and curtsy before she scurried away, and Arthur closed his eyes, frustrated. With her? With himself? That was always the question, wasn't it?

    Odette wanted to hurry back inside the caslte▬perhaps try and pressure Gaius into giving her something else to do while she waited for Morgana to call on her again; anything, really, to keep her mind off Arthur. To keep her mind off the way he held her hair and his fingers brushed her neck. To keep her mind off the way she wore her hair the same. To keep her mind off the way she had thrown herself into deep and dangerous waters she knew would only get herself hurt▬to keep her from thinking about how mad she was at the same time.

    But something else entirely sought to change their plans. As Odette jogged back towards the courtyard in order to catch up with Merlin, she slowly came to a stop nearby the well. She started to frown, intrigued to see him locked into an embrace with a woman elder▬gentle and loving with such a smile on his face she has yet to see. The woman pulled away in her clothes that looked as though have lived through many winters to cup his cheeks with a smile that matched his perfectly.

    "Merlin!" she greeted, blissfuly happy▬as if she was about to cry. She brushed away his hair from his eyes and scrubbed some dirt off his nose▬a gaze filled with so much love and affection it made Odette's heart ache.

    It was a gaze she hasn't received in a very long time. But it was one that told her exactly who this woman was.

    "Mother," said Merlin, pleasantly surprised. He frowned at her, shaking his head but smiling wide. "What are you doing here...?" his smile dropped. His fingers lifted to hover over the painful, red bruise that had nestled underneath his mother's eye. "What happened?" She pursed her lips, looking away. Merlin grasped her shoulders and demanded: "Who did this to you?"

    Odette heard footsteps behind her. She glanced over as Arthur came to a stop by her side, brows furrowed as he watched his manservant become suddenly so distressed. He met her gaze, and Odette began to wonder whether perhaps Arthur had been right to predict oncoming rainfall▬just not in the way he might think.

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    ARTHUR MANAGED to get an audience with the King. He had said it was the least he could do for Merlin's mother as they directed her to Gaius's chambers to tend to her eye. Odette had never met a woman so humble and sweet as Hunith. Despite the evident pain she held, she smiled and she blessed the Prince with such gratitude Arthur looked as though he wasn't too sure how to take it. But in the end, he had taken her hands and gave them a gentle shake, sending the woman a final smile before leaving them. Once Odette was sure Merlin would be all right, she knew she had to leave, too in order to help prepare Morgana for the summoning. As she did, she saw Merlin take a seat at his mother's side and tend to her himself▬and it struck her in such a strange way.

    Because while she knew Merlin was not from Camelot; while she knew he had travelled from the borders of this kingdom and Cenred's Kingdom, seeing him so happy beside the life he had left behind made Odette wonder why he had come to Camelot in the first place. Why would he leave the quiet village of Ealdor▬leave his mother to then put his life in danger and come here?

    Perhaps Odette couldn't quite understand, because she knew if she got the chance to have her mother back, she would never leave her side ever again.

    They gathered within the Throne Room later that afternoon▬just as the sun started to glare through the large windows onto the floor, warming up the chills as the days left summer and made the journey towards winter. Odette found it wonderful that Arthur had managed to convince his father to go out of his way to hear Hunith's struggles. Perhaps he lied a little▬perhaps he exaggerated a story, Odette didn't know, but to see not just the King's presence, but other members of Camelot's court made her feel quite impressed.

    She watched them all stand attentive and silent, dressed in their expensive robes and elaborate jewellery, eye the woman who nervously shuffled before the King▬but they were here all the same. Odette glanced around from Morgana and Guinevere's side, searching for Ronyn. She found him standing closer than most to the King's platform, watching Merlin's mother curiously▬trying to figure out who she was. He slowly started to make the connection when she glanced back at her son standing beside Gaius, and he gave her a reassuring nod. Odette knew Merlin's hands were shaking from where they were clasped behind his back.

    Hunith pursed her lips. She glanced around at them all before she finally set her eyes back onto where the King sat back in his throne, waiting impatiently for her to begin. She swallowed harshly in the quiet room.

   "The ... the winters are harsh in Ealdor, My Lord," she started, her voice small▬but it echoed within the vast room. "A▬and there are many children. Some of them just won't be strong enough to survive▬"

    "Survive what?" the King interrupted her.

    Odette saw Merlin tense▬she was glad that he managed to take a long breath and stay quiet. Gaius carefully reached a hand out and rubbed the back of his shoulder to help try and calm him down.

    "Sorry, Sire," Merlin's mother closed her eyes and took a small shaky breath before starting again. "There▬there is this bandit, Sire: Kanen. He▬he raids our village, destroys our crop and takes our food."

    As she spoke, Morgana leaned in quietly to whisper to her handmaidens: "Is that Merlin's mother?"

    Odette nodded and the King's Ward pursed her lips, her brows lifting with pained concern as she returned her gaze upon Hunith.

    "We▬we barely have enough food as it is," Hunith wrung her hands with nerves. "And if Kanen takes our harvest, our children won't live to see another summer. Please, we need your help."

    Uther watched her thoughtfully. He continued to lounge in his throne, glancing at his son who was guarded next to him▬jaw set and stern. "Ealdor ..." he murmured the name with some recognition, "... your village resides in Cenred's Kingdom. Your safety is his responsibility."

    "We've appealed to our King," said Merlin's mother, "but ... he cares little for the outlying regions. You're our only hope."

    He seemed to consider her words. They all waited anxiously for the King to make his verdict. Each of them▬Odette, Guinevere, Morgana, Arthur and Ronyn all were pleading for Uther to agree to Hunith's request; each holding a concern for Merlin rooted within their hearts. He has done so much for them in such a short time in this city. He has saved their lives, brightened their days, provided his friendship▬his company, his advice, his loyalty. They all cared for him in their own way, and so they were all on the edges of their toes, sharing the exact same hope▬for Merlin's sake.

    And so when the King leaned forward with a short sigh, collectively, disappointment crossed every one of their faces. "I have the deepest sympathy for you," began Uther carefully, "and would have this barbarian wiped off the face of the earth."

    Hunith's eyes lit up, "You'll help us?" she breathed.

    "I wish I could."

    Arthur immediately turned to his father at the fall of Hunith's face. "Surely we can spare a few men?" he suggested but the King shook his head.

    "Resources are not the problem."

    "Then what is?" spoke up Morgana, not even hiding the curtness to her tone▬like a knife slicing clean through stone.

    "Ealdor lies beyond the Ridge of Aesctir," explained the King. "For an army of Camelot to enter▬it would be an act of war."

    Odette's eyes dropped to her feet, disappointed▬but understanding. If the knights of Camelot were to set foot across the border into Aesctir, their scarlet colour would mark a threat▬one they all knew Cenred would not take likely. He would consider it an invasion▬a trespass onto his lands, his verdicts and more than an insult on his kingship. Even stepping into Ealdor without insignia would be a risk in itself.

    But she still she wished none of that mattered▬she wished there was a way around it as she saw the defeat present on Merlin's face; the shock he held to watch his own mother get on her knees and beg before the King.

    "I know you're a good King," pleaded Hunith, so desperate she placed herself at Uther's mercy, "a caring man. I'm begging you. Help us, please..."

    Odette held some relief to see a flicker of regret in Uther's eyes. But he had made up his mind▬and it was not an estranged, hateful decision either. It was one made with the thought of his people, his army▬and the horrors a war would give them all.

    "The accord we've struck with Cenred was years in the making," the King told her. "I cannot risk hundreds of lives for the sake of one village. I'm afraid Camelot cannot help."

    Hunith hung her head, but she understood, as well. Merlin's mother took a small breath, fighting back tears from her eyes before she nodded and smiled up at Uther. "Thank you, Sire," she said to him anyway. Humble and grateful that she was given this chance and his attention despite his answer▬and just like that, Odette had made a decision. She glanced over to Merlin, and realised that if Camelot's army cannot help without the threat of war, then perhaps its people could help instead. Out of love, out of hope and out of kindness▬out of friendship. Merlin has done so much for Odette, she couldn't bear even the thought of her not choosing to do the same.

    And as she glanced between Guinevere and Morgana▬and then Ronyn across the room, she started to understand she was not the only one who had made such an easy decision.

    Morgana surged forward to help Hunith back onto her feet as the appeal was adjourned. The King's Ward smiled and placed a hand on the humble woman's back, leading her back to Merlin with a plan already forming in the forefront of her mind.

    Merlin gave her a thankful smile to which Morgana nodded to him, gentle and sweet as she passed his mother over. He turned to her, wishing he could have done more▬but he also knew what he must do, now.

    It was time that Merlin finally returned home.

    As Gaius offered to help his younger sister back to his chambers and Merlin went to follow, ready to prepare himself for the journey ahead▬something made him hesitate, and he turned back, catching Arthur's gaze up on the royal platform. This sadness weighed down in Merlin's chest as he realised that he wouldn't be coming back▬that he would leave behind his destiny and everything (everyone) he found here. He started to fear: would Arthur survive without him? Why was he so hesitant to leave a man who probably wouldn't even care whether he stayed or whether he left▬probably wouldn't even notice?

    It was on his mind the rest of that afternoon. Pained him as he told his mother what he was going to do and made sure she got some rest before they departed later in the day. Merlin respected Arthur▬he knew that. He had started to see glimmers of what the Great Dragon said: a hope that the Prince didn't even realise he was creating. Amongst his right hook with pillows, his arrogance and his great talent at being an absolute prat, Merlin knew he was proud that he has gotten the chance to be his servant▬to serve him. He knew that. But since when had that become so important to him that it made him hesitate returning home with his mother to help his home?

    But still he found himself unable to leave here without making sure he said goodbye.

    He found Arthur standing at the edge of the centre barracks, looking over the Upper and Lower Towns with his arms crossed and his jaw set▬brooding alone in the afternoon sunlight.

    Merlin made his way over to him, sending him a brief glance as he set his hands on the stone beside him, joining him in the view of the city below.

    After a moment, Arthur kicked his boot against the wall before deciding to say: "I'm sorry. If it were up to me, we'd be on our way there now."

    Merlin shook his head, "You tried," he said to him, grateful. "And thank you, for getting an audience with the King."

    The Prince nodded. He set his scowl outwards to the Darkling Forest, and the many kingdoms beyond. "I wish Camelot was able to help people regardless of how far away they lived," he found himself admitting to his young manservant, who only just pursed his lips.

    Merlin knitted his brows. He couldn't understand why this was so hard. He swung back a little before standing tall and finding the breath in him to turn to the Prince and say, "I'm going back to Ealdor."

    Arthur nodded, "Of course."

    "It has been an honour serving you."

    The Prince's gaze shot to him, rather startled. He tried to hide it, but Merlin saw his eyes widen▬he saw the stern, rigid composure he always held falter enough to see a moment where he became speechless; as if the thought that Merlin wouldn't be there at his side was so jarring he didn't even consider it.

    Merlin didn't know how to take it.

    Arthur frowned, "You'll be coming back."

    There was no question▬no room for any other option; he truly believed that Merlin was going to return ... for why wouldn't he? Why wouldn't he be there when Arthur needed him?

    (For who else would be there to polish his armour? Or clean his chainmail? Or talk back to him at every order▬who else was going to be his manservant? There were many capable ... but they wouldn't be the same. Merlin had grown on Arthur, unfortunately. He might be the most annoying servant he has ever had ... but in that same way, he was also the best).

    Merlin felt like he was disappointing Arthur the moment he shook his head, "She's my mother," he muttered. "I ... I've got to look after her before anyone else. You understand?"

    Arthur looked away. Something sad settled there on his brow as he said, "I'd do exactly the same." Merlin nodded, grateful that he told him that. Then, the Prince took a deep breath and set his jaw again, "Well!" he exclaimed. "You've been terrible▬"

    Merlin scoffed out a chuckle, shaking his head▬but his chest was light.

    "▬Really, I mean it. The worst servant I have ever had."

    His manservant nodded, expecting it and yet appreciating it all the same. As his chuckles faded, he caught a little, amused smile on Arthur's face. "Thank you, Sire," said Merlin.

    He turned to leave the Prince be, but before he could get far, Arthur called him back. Merlin turned to look over his shoulder.

    "Good luck," he said to him.

    Merlin smiled. Then, he bowed his head and walked away. It took a huge part of him as he reached the stairwell to not glance back.

    He travelled down the tower back towards the courtyard. He stepped out through the heavy wooden door that took him outside to the corridors that wrapped around the square, not exactly sure why he felt so heavy-hearted▬why he was so upset to say goodbye; but he was.

    Merlin was so glum, he didn't even look where he was going▬and he almost ran straight into Ronyn Vecentia. Until the sound of the startled cry of a gelding made him skid to a stop right in his path.

    "Whoa▬!" Ronyn held a hand out, keeping Merlin from getting himself trampled by a horse. "Watch where you're going, Merlin!"

    It took the warlock a second to comprehend the sight of the Lord Vecentia standing before him in a light set of chainmail and armour. His hands gloved and a travel cloak draped across his shoulders. He calmed his gelding down at his side. The horse had travel bags strapped to his saddle, and a blanket rolled up at the very back of the leather. At Ronyn's hip, sat a sheathed blade.

    Merlin stared at him. He was so surprised by the sight of Ronyn in armour, that he didn't realise why he was. "What are you doing?" he asked, blunt and confused.

    Ronyn frowned back. "What do you think I'm doing?" he fixed his horse's reins. "I'm coming with you."

    The warlock stood there in a breath of surprise. "What?" he finally managed to stammer out. He soon shook his head. "No, I▬"

    "You can't go up against Kanen's men alone, Merlin," Ronyn told him without any room for objection. "Or I should say you don't have to." Walking up to him and placing a hand on his shoulder, Ronyn said: "If it weren't for your help, Merlin, my sister wouldn't be here today. And now, it is my turn to help you. Besides," the Lord made a face and returned to his steed, ready to lead him to wherever they will go next, "I've seen you hold a sword▬you're a dead man in a battle."

    Merlin blinked. He didn't know whether to be filled with gratitude, or a slight breath of annoyance. "Thanks," he said sarcastically. But when Ronyn just sent a mischievous grin over his shoulder, the young warlock couldn't help but let out a short chuckle▬and truly, he was happy; he was more than grateful that Ronyn was going to be riding out with him.

    The Lord Vecentia nodded his head to the draw bridge that would take them to the Upper Town, "Come on, let's get you and your mother a good horse."

    "And a sword," added Merlin.

    Ronyn shot him a wild glance, "You don't have a sword?"

    Merlin only just shrugged, sheepish.

    His friend shook his head, looking as if he had just signed his own death sentence. "Okay, first stop, getting you an actual weapon and then we'll get you a horse."

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    RONYN KNEW that sooner or later, he was going have to face Guinevere again. He was going have to look at her and know that he could do nothing more than that. He was going to have to pass her in the hallways and pretend as if their conversation had never happened▬that she hadn't drastically thrown him off course, and now he had no idea how to find his way back on the same path he had been on before; Ronyn didn't even think he wanted to. But he respected her wish. He did not watch after her. He did not sneak glances and make visits to her father's forge. He did not make random visits to Morgana's chambers and offer walks and morning teas just to be able to see her. And suddenly, things seemed like the way they had been before. But they were not. Ronyn knew they were not▬they could never be. No matter how hard he tried he realised that even if he were in his manor and she was scrubbing floors, he could not forget her.

    Or rather, he quickly understood, he didn't want to. Before, Ronyn could have easily forgotten anyone▬he was great at it. And now, it seemed he lost every ability to do so; and that scared him as much as it hurt him.

    He tried to say to Merlin he could have one of his blades▬or he'd pay to buy him one from the blacksmith in the Upper Town. But the warlock was determined to visit his friend. He wanted a chance to say goodbye. And so here they were, and it was painfully awkward▬at least, Ronyn felt as such. He spoke not a word, standing in the corner and trying very hard not to play with the crooked doors on the cupboards in Guinevere's home as she gathered anything she could to make sure Merlin would have everything he needed.

    But every time she passed here and there▬picked up this and picked up that▬her eyes would gloss past his; and they were these aching moments that seemed as though they lasted forever, until she moved on and Ronyn knew they barely lasted even a second.

    Her home was modest▬by far nothing Ronyn has ever quite seen before. There were no portraits, no hallways, no servant quarters, kitchens and a vast garden. There were no architectural art or statues; no lavish bedrooms or even a consistent dining set. The walls were made from mud and stone, the roof creaked and dust fell each time one of them moved. The cupboards were handmade and the candles nearly burnt out. It was one room with a bed for her father and some curtains draped down at the back next to an old screen that Ronyn presumed was where Gwen slept. There was a moth-eaten coat hanging from a hook and chipped plates that were a luxury compared to most in these parts. But it was homely▬it was warm. There was no room left to dust, no hallway silent ... they had everything they needed and that was enough; it was simple like that.

    He noticed a few wooden toys set aside▬the only things gathering dust inside the crooked cupboard door. Ronyn pursed his lips; he tried not to be nosy, but he couldn't help it. When he was sure Gwen was distracted, he subtly reached a finger out and carefully opened the door. There, he could see plenty of them. The largest: a wooden horse on wheels where a name was scratched into the horse's side▬For my dear Elyan, love Mother and Father.

    Ronyn had to look away, a little ashamed. He wasn't here to look through Guinevere's belongings and figure out all of her secrets. These were her private things▬he didn't need to know why her brother's old toys were hidden away, or why the only thing in this house that seemed to belong to any mother was the shawl Gwen had draped over her old, damaged screen.

    He knew her mother had passed a long time ago. He knew she had a little brother▬he didn't know where he was; or where he had been when her father had gotten sick ... but Ronyn knew it would be wise of him to leave it there.

    Gwen took a deep breath, shoving a final piece of chainmail into a large canvas bag. She eyed Merlin who had helped himself to some bread she had set out for them. Ronyn had been too anxious to touch it▬not because he was afraid it wouldn't taste good, but he was afraid that if he did, someone would remind him that he couldn't, because he was not welcome.

    "Here," the blacksmith's daughter spoke up. She unsheathed a freshly forged blade from her father's shop▬meant for his collection, but she was sure he wouldn't miss it. Gwen passed it out for Merlin to take.

    "Wow," let out Merlin. He reached out for it until Gwen hissed out a warning▬he flushed bright red, realising he was about to grab it where it was sharp. Merlin chuckled awkwardly, "Yeah▬right▬" she decided to hand it to him then, making sure he grabbed it by the hilt and not the blade.

    She kept her hands there, as if ready for him to drop it. "Okay ..." she said slowly, eyeing his grip carefully. "Tell me how it feels."

    "Yeah," nodded Merlin. He looked as if he wasn't exactly sure how to answer that question. He rapped his knuckles against the steel. Ronyn winced. "Yeah, that feels really good ... it's very▬uh▬you know, swordy."

    The Lord Vecentia breathed a quick prayer to the Lord.

    Gwen stepped back. She went to turn▬not before she sent Merlin a final, wary glance over her shoulder (just to make sure!) until she was satisfied and picked up the next thing she had ready. "Um ..." she fiddled with the canvas bag before forcing herself to hold it out to Ronyn. "Here..."

    He frowned at her, taken aback. He wasn't sure whether he was able to take it. But then, slowly, he managed to reach out and take the bag from her grasp. Their gazes locked, and Ronyn saw something that matched his pain.

    He had to quickly remind himself he had to speak, "Oh▬uh▬thank you. What ... erm ... what is it?" He tried to weigh it; heaving it up and down. "A set of daggers? Pauldrons?"

    Gwen glanced between the two of them, not sure who was worse▬Merlin or Ronyn. "Um ... its provisions▬smoked pigeon sandwiches, bread, cheese ..."

    Ronyn made a face. He quickly opened it up and peered inside, his eyes widened. He looked at her. "Guinevere, this is ... generous but I am sure Merlin, his mother and I will not be eating all of this ourselves. There is enough food in here for six of us▬at least."

    "Seven," Guinevere quietly corrected him.

    "I'm sorry, what?"

    She shyly pointed to the bag of provisions. "There is enough food in there for seven of us."

    Ronyn's frown deepened, "Forgive me, but I am not following...?"

    Merlin only just realised something, "Hang on▬" he pointed to the chainmail and armour Gwen had given him, "I won't be able to carry all of that..."

    With perfect timing, the door to Guinevere's home then opened. They all turned as the Lady Morgana stepped inside, dressed in a belted men's tunic and pants. Clasped around her arms were a set of polished gauntlets and voiders, and across her chest, a light-weight breastplate. Her very own sword rested at her hip.

    Behind her followed Odette in what seemed to be one of Morgana's other short tunics▬though it was much bigger on her; bulging over the rope belt she had fastened it with around her waist to carry her leather pouch of belongings. Her pants were tucked into a set of old and dusty, worn-out boots. She fixed her cloak over her shoulder, looking as if she had raided Arthur and Ronyn's wardrobes to play dress-ups all over again.

    And then, stepping inside last, was someone who made Ronyn want to storm forward and drag her back by the sleeve of her tunic all the way home. His younger sister met his gaze in a fiery stare▬they held a short glaring match, and she did not back down. She tilted her chin up, daring him to tell her to leave▬and he might just without a care about whatever threat she had in mind. She had dressed herself much the same as the others in a silk tunic and riding pants; a fur thrown over her shoulder to keep herself warm. Adelynn Vecentia hadn't even brought a sword, standing there as if she was about to embark on the adventure of her life.

    "You won't have to," Morgana said to Merlin and he frowned, perplexed. She smiled kindly. "We're coming with you."

    Merlin couldn't form words. He glanced between the lot of them▬taking in each of their smiles and each of their reassuring nods, as if he couldn't even fathom why they would want to help him. "What do you mean?"

    "You're going to need all the help you can get," stated Guinevere. She gestured to the canvas bag of armour, "I can mend armour and sharpen swords."

    Odette raised her hand slightly, "I have helped Gaius tend to wounds many times."

    "And I can help," added Adelynn, gesturing to the handmaiden. "I can prepare bandages, remedies and have read books on healing."

    Ronyn bitterly cut in to remind her: "A book. You have read a book. And when was the last time you grounded herbs?"

    His sister went back to glowering at him.

    Morgana watched them carefully before she finished: "And I know how to fight."

    Merlin continued to stammer; he started to grow red at the cheeks. "But ... but you can't," he said to them. "I▬I mean, why ... why would you?"

    Gwen stepped closer to him, fierce as she took his arm and said: "If it was the other was the other way round, you'd help us. You already have. You saved my life life."

    "And you helped me get the Druid boy out of Camelot," added Morgana. Ronyn held a hand to face after that, feeling as if he needed to back-track▬perhaps to the beginning so he could push his sister out the door before she even walked in.

    Odette glanced at them all before catching Merlin's gaze. She smiled at him, "You're my friend," she told him honestly. "Why wouldn't I want to help you? I am here for you. That is what friends are for."

    The way Merlin's face lifted with such endearing gratitude made Odette smile turn soft; telling him she meant every word▬perhaps even more.

    Ronyn didn't want to interrupt, but he couldn't hold back any longer. He surged forward towards his sister and nodded to the door, "You▬out, now."

    She huffed a little bit, but followed him outside into the streets. As soon as they were away from everyone else, Ronyn spun to her and told her: "Go home."

    Adelynn shook her head. "No."

    His brows shot up, "Yes."

    "No."

    "Adelynn," his hands flew up to his cheeks, tugging at them in his frustration, "you can't come."

    "Why not?" she countered and he couldn't believe her.

    "Why not?" he echoed, sarcastic. "Oh, I don't know▬how about the knowledge of how we are literally heading to a village raided by men with weapons?"

    His younger sister pursed her lips. She knew he was right, but she was too stubborn to let this go. She shook her head again, "No. I want to come. I want to help."

    "No, listen to me," he stepped closer to her, rather distressed. "Adelynn, this isn't some chance for adventure, okay? This is dangerous. Reading books will not help you in this, okay? You need experience. You need to know how to fight▬you need to at least have a sword, which is something you have never once held in your life. And it should stay that way."

    She set her jaw. She was not going to relent, Ronyn could tell. "I can handle myself▬"

    "Adelynn!" he let out, wanting to shake her. "I'm serious▬!"

    "So am I!" she shot back. "I want to help! Merlin saved my life▬I owe it to him. I▬" she stopped herself and Ronyn frowned, not sure what the look in her eyes meant. Adelynn sighed and continued, soft and pleading: "You want to protect me, Ro, I know that▬" his gaze softened at the name she used to call him when she was young, and she couldn't pronounce his full name properly, "▬you've always protected me. But I've fought my whole life. I'm not going to break."

    "No," he agreed. But he wasn't going to tell her that he was the one that hugged her close to make sure the shattering glass didn't cut her skin; that he was the one that was kicked and was beaten defending her against their father. That ever since she was born, Ronyn had always picked up the sword to battle for her life. He didn't think he could willingly let her pick it up instead. "But I almost lost you once, Addie, because I did not protect you▬I refuse to make that same mistake again."

    "I will stay with Odette," promised his sister. "I will not fight▬but I need to do this."

    Ronyn set his jaw. He wanted to tell her no▬but he knew it was going to be useless. Even if he somehow managed to lock her in her room and take away every window, Adelynn would still find a way to come after them. And if she was alone, there was no chance he could protect her, then.

    So, he relented. "All right," he said and chose to ignore how she smiled with excitement. "But these are the rules▬one▬" he held up a finger, "▬you do not leave my side unless it is absolutely necessary, which leads to rule two▬" he put up a second finger, "▬if you have to leave my side, you stay with Merlin, and if you cannot, that leads to rule number three▬"

    Her face went blank, "I stay with Morgana?"

    "No," Ronyn took her shoulder and turned her back towards the door, "you grab something solid and you smack the bastard as hard as you possibly can on the head."

    Adelynn glanced back up at him over her shoulder▬and in pained him. She was the first person he has seen who looked excited to head to battle▬completely ignorant to what she might see. "Thank you."

    He sighed, "Do not thank me yet, dear sister▬thank me once our mother kills me for letting this happen instead of killing you for sneaking out."

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    THEY WERE RIDING for the rest of the day. Adelynn has never been on the back of a horse for this long, and it was starting to get to her later in the afternoon. She started to shift, uncomfortable in her saddle as they made their way through the pathways of the Darkling Woods west to where Ealdor lied just across the border. Her mare was a sweet one. She's had her since she was eleven. She had named her Honey for how well-tempered she was. But travelling through the brush on her hooves all day was making her agitated▬or perhaps it was the nerves Adelynn held. She's never been this far from Camelot▬Hell, she barely leaves her room let alone the city. And now, here she was, on her first adventure and she thought she was going to feel more excited, but as the sun drifted further and further towards evening, that excitement started to turn into the desire to rest her head on the pillows back home in her bed.

    She did her very best to make it seem as if nothing was effecting her yet, determined to prove herself to her brother that she was capable of this. But when her horse threw her head as they took a slope down to the next road, Adelynn hissed to herself▬not expecting it and quickly reaching a hand forward to rub her mare's neck to try and calm her down.

    Perhaps what made her so nervous was Merlin riding close by her. They hadn't spoken much since she found out about his magic▬and he had told her he knew of hers. It wasn't as if he hasn't tried. Sometimes he'd try and grab her attention if by the rare chance they might pass each other in the walls, or in the markets▬but each time she purposefully ignored him. And each time, that part of her that felt this connection to him; like a magical thread was pulling her into his way, seemed to stagger and ache deep inside her chest; sometimes she'd get headaches and she could not sleep. Sometimes she had to breathe deeply to herself to calm down the aggravating overwhelming feeling that built up inside her▬sometimes, she was scared it would burst. But she had to ignore him. She had to keep it in. She had to lock it away until perhaps it would disappear in order to make sure she stayed alive.

    And now he was probably wondering why all of the sudden, she had chosen to join him. And now, Adelynn was sure she won't be able to avoid another conversation▬and she was scared that if she could not, then all of the effort she had made to suppress her magic would fail ... and she would explode.

    Merlin glanced sideways at her, shy and hesitant. He noticed her settle her horse with a gentle murmur and touch▬and she pretended she didn't feel his gaze.

    His eyes darted onwards where the others had surged forwards: his mother in step behind Ronyn, the Lady Morgana chatting with Guinevere in a trot beside her, and Odette by herself, gazing upwards at the trees and smiling to herself at each bird song▬completely and utterly in her own, mystical world.

    Then, Merlin slowed his gelding down to draw in closer to Adelynn and she closed her eyes to herself, expecting it and yet dreading it all the same. "There is a clearing soon where we can rest for the night."

    "I am fine," Adelynn muttered, shifting in her saddle▬she winced at the pain. "I do not need rest."

    "Your horse will," she could see him try to crack a grin out of the corner of her gaze, but it soon fell when he saw that did not meet it. Merlin pursed his lips and played with the reins of his horse. They rode in silence for a few minutes, and it was so painful that Adelynn needed to say something.

    "What is it like?"

    He jumped at the sound of her voice, glancing over▬until he nearly ran into a low-hanging twig and had to duck. Adelynn's brows furrowed and she quickly hid the way her lips tugged upwards in amusement at the way he glanced back at it, as if shocked the tree would do such a thing.

    "Uh ..." he shook the experience off and looked at her again, "Sorry?"

    "Ealdor," said Adelynn softly. "What is it like?"

    Merlin tilted his head. He didn't seem to expect the question, and he had to think to himself before he could answer it: "Um..." he wrapped the reins around his fingers, and his wrists and his hands. "Small," he decided, giving Adelynn a little, weak smile. "A couple of fields. A couple of cows. Simple. You worked for what you had."

    The young Vecentia set her gaze forward, not too sure what that was like▬not sure whether she could even imagine anything else than the life she has always lived. "A couple of cows ... what? In a house?"

    Merlin made a face. Then, he laughed at her. He quickly stifled it, and it sounded as if he had gotten something stuck in his throat. "No," he managed. "No▬um ... in fields. A couple of cows in those couple of fields. Though ... the family next to us kept their goats inside during the winter. They slept with their cattle dogs in the same place▬all snuggled up near the fire."

    Adelynn tried to paint an image of goats and hounds under the same roof as a family all in front of a fire. There was something about it that seemed ... well, seemed sweet and loving▬not cold and lonesome inside the same four stone walls. "Quite ..."

    Merlin's gaze glinted mischievously, "Not what you're used to, I'm sure," he said happily.

    She briefly met that gaze. She forced a smile on her face, "No," she agreed simply.

    She could tell Merlin was watching her, his mischief falling away with their conversation. He frowned and looked down at his gelding's mane. "Um..." he began, cautious on what he was going to say next. "Thank you, for coming. I would never expect any of you to put yourself into this danger to help me."

    Adelynn treaded her horse around an on old tree stump. As she returned to Merlin's side, she said, "You have put yourself into danger to aid me, it is the least I can do. But, I suppose ... perhaps it was a spur-of-the-moment decision."

    Merlin breathed a little smile. He nodded, grateful. "We have to look out for each other, right?" he then tried, watching her reaction carefully. "You know," he dropped his voice, wary of the others. "Because we both have ... you know."

    She went stiff on her saddle. Her grip on her reins tightened. "Yes," she managed, her voice tight. "I suppose."

   Then, she clicked her tongue and urged Honey to pick up her speed down the rest of the slope. She didn't look back at Merlin's expression▬not sure whether she even wanted to see it; because she could feel it ... she could feel the hurt pierce through her back. Adelynn took a deep breath and steadied her pace alongside Odette. As soon as she did, the Lady Morgana's handmaiden smiled at her and pointed up to where she had found a group of young birds trying to fly for the first time.

    Adelynn had no idea how she managed to find such delicate, wonderful and delightful things in the face of dread▬perhaps they just followed her around. Perhaps Odette was made of butterflies, Adelynn really did not know, but it was hard to believe how much of a fairytale she seemed to be. So much that Adelynn secretly really liked her for it. It was refreshing. And so she pointed out bright flowers and butterflies to which Odette soon became enamoured by each one, and it made her forget about the troubling thoughts in her mind.

    They continued on until nightfall. Merlin led them into the clearing he mentioned and they all dismounted, tired and thankful to finally rest after an entire half-day's ride. Adelynn helped the others unstrap their bags as they all enjoyed some water and food by the growing fire; sitting together on their blankets and surrounded by the evening air. The birds had gone quiet, and their song was replaced by the rustles of insects.

    But soon, they had drifted off to sleep. Those who weren't used to the rough ground shuffled and squirmed, but it wasn't long before the tiring day took over and the only sound was the crackling embers of the dying fire.

    Adelynn had set herself up close to her brother, the two Vecentia siblings sleeping in almost a ridiculous identical way with their brows furrowed and their lips pursed▬as if they were trying to solve riddles within their sleep. Morgana had set herself up beside Guinevere, the Ward and her maid sleeping shoulder-to-shoulder to keep themselves warm. She had expected Odette to join them, however, the young second handmaiden had set herself on the other side of the fire, alone and huddled underneath her thin woollen blanket.

    She found more peace, alone, than to rest near a brother and a sister that she grew up with; than to keep warm with her friends▬than to look over and find a mother and her son, and remind herself that the love in the way Hunith kissed Merlin's forehead at the dying fire was something she'll never feel ever again.

    And so, Odette slept in no other company than herself's▬quite like she has always done, because when the sun set at the end of the day, while everyone else had a fire, and a roof, and someone's arms to fall into ... she was truly alone▬and she did not know any different.

    But she still could not sleep, unlike the others. She faced away from the dying flames, staring off towards the dark brushes of the forest. She tried very hard not to listen to Merlin's conversation with his mother, hear her desperate whispers for him to make sure he stayed safe ... but she could not help it. Odette begged for the night to leave, and for the sun to rise early, because under the cover of black velvet midnight, did she miss her mother the most; did she feel like she has always been from the moment she was left, forgotten by the parents that held her for less than a week: nothing.

    An orphan without a family, a girl with no place to go, a servant with no future. And every time she looked at the sunrise through the windows of the castle, Odette realised every night, that she only continued to lie to herself to think that she was special▬that things would get better. But deep down, she knew it would not. She knew she would stay where she's always been, watching others rise and their lives change▬she was surrounded by warlocks and princes supposed to be legends, a ward destined to be queen, a maid who will rise with her, a Lord who was going to be a better man than he believed he could be and his sister who was going to one day have the chance showcase her talent ... and Odette was going to watch from where she scrubbed the floors and dusted the tabletops; forgotten and alone.

    There was only one other who could barely sleep that night, tense and uncomfortable on the earth at her brother's side. Adelynn, too, found herself listening to Hunith's whispered words. She watched when they thought no one could see.

    The young Vecentia felt something pained in her chest▬like many other feelings she could not yet come to describe, let alone completely understand.

    She pretended to be asleep as the mother and son sat by the dying embers, listening to every word they whispered:

    "They shouldn't be here," Hunith was saying, fiddling with her fingers. "Especially the Lady Morgana▬isn't she the King's Ward?"

    Merlin breathed a light chuckle, playing with the dying flames with a stick he had gathered from the ground beside him, "Not that you'd know it. She is the only person I know that isn't frightened of him."

    "And Lady Adelynn?" his mother gently took his arm, grave and serious. "She is too young, Merlin▬this is too dangerous."

    Her son pursed his lips. He watched the embers spark as he stoked them. "I know ... but, she is capable of more than you might think."

    Instead of feeling a sense of gratitude, that Merlin thought herself able for this journey ahead, all Adelynn could feel was guilt and this sudden breath of fear▬he spoke of her magic; she knew that was what he meant. He thought so highly of her▬she who he did not even know, because he seemed to thoroughly believe she was like him. She didn't know how to let him down ... to tell him that she wasn't. That she didn't want her magic. That she was scared and deep down ... deep down she hated this curse she had been given. She looked in the mirror and all she could see was the monster that every sorcerer was told to be.

   Hunith sighed a little, brushing his jacket sleeve with her fingers, "It won't make any difference to Kanen that they are women."

    Merlin hung his head, "I know," he admitted. "But I couldn't talk them out of coming." As he glanced up, he frowned at the bruise underneath his mother's eye. Tenderly, he reached out as if to touch it, but stopped himself. "I am going to make him pay for what he did to you."

    His mother only clutched his sleeve tighter, giving her only son a pleading shake, "You must promise me you will be careful. No one can find out about you."

    Adelynn heard the hesitation in his voice. She wondered whether he had subtly glanced over to her. "They won't," he then said. "They never do."

    Hunith gave him a sweet smile as she brought his head down so she could kiss his dark hair. "Get some rest," she told him once she did, brushing some dirt from his cheek.

    Adelynn quickly closed her eyes as she saw Hunith stand and make her way to the blankets they had set out nearby. But once she was sure she had lied down, the young witch found herself setting her gaze back onto Merlin still by the fire.

    She watched him hold up the stick in his hand; he gazed at the embers sparking at its end. Adelynn's eyes widened as with a quick breath, he blew them out into the air before him and whispered: "Draeca..."

     Right before her eyes, the embers of the fire drifted in the wind; they swirled together until flying in the night, was a magnificent dragon of ash, sparks and smoke. Merlin managed a small smile at his creation, and Adelynn pursed her lips to herself, for there was nothing that could possibly be evil in the glimmer of that smile.

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    a/n: visiting my grandmother (my mumma <3) in south australia. she's just been placed in an aged care home (she's like 95 bless her) and all she talks to me about is my pappa (grandfather) who passed away before i was born saying he was so smart and I always see pictures of him when I visit my family here and it hurts because its like, I feel this grief for this person whom I've never met and I don't understand why it's so painful, but it is. maybe its because I wished I would have met him, and I want to know whether he would have liked me, and whether he would have spoiled me - and to see pictures of my older cousins and my brother with him, and they have memories of that, and all I have is pictures and his diary ... all I have is his handwriting and just an idea of what he might've been like from his smile because my dad never talks about him just ... you know, I just wanted to meet my pappa </3. 

    but it's like, its the same with my nan on my mum's side, I never met her either. she passed away from cancer even before pappa. I guess its strange how you have the strongest connections with those who you were supposed to meet, and supposed to have a relationship with, but unfortunately never got the chance, because that is just the tragedy (and I guess beauty, as well) of life. because even if I never met them, I still have a relationship with them - they still have left a mark on my life, and that is super special and super important. like I look at those pictures and I see myself in them. their legacy is still around; they're still alive in the small, loving things. 

    (you can tell I'm a writer for the love of- ^^^)

    and so I'm posting the swan princess because this is nothing if not my comfort book. and I also didn't bring my pjo books to write pandora's box or felt comfortable downloading to write books I need a streaming service for since I have these episodes anyway so here we are, updating this again. 

    but that's okay.

    odette is literally that song that goes 'this is for the lonely ones' and it hurts. 

    also ronyn and merlin <333 dude literally sought him out to make sure he didn't have to do this alone. big bro/little bro energy.

    on a happy note (sorry for throwing all that sad baggage onto you guys lol) merlin and odette being the absolute menaces they are at the start warms my heart.